Heartbreaker

I watched Brother Bolu surrounded by other pig doctors.

I hid behind the tree and peeked at other people. When they heard Brother Bolu's words, they all showed sour expressions of relief, sighed and walked back to the "rat cage".Look, how satisfied we experimental subjects are. After experiencing inhumane torture and desperation that no one cares about, just one or two rebuttals can move tears to our eyes.

I didn't believe those good-sounding empty words at first, but I didn't believe Brother Bolu's sincerity until the wild boar Zhan Lifu punched him to the ground.Just when I clenched the table knife and was about to pounce on the pig to kill the pig, another Four Eyes appeared.

I frowned, feeling vaguely familiar with this person.

"Is something wrong with me?"

At night, I stopped Brother Polu in the corridor.As soon as he entered the building, his face was pale and his smile was haggard. The other doctors ignored him and hurriedly kept away from him.

"..." Seeing me, he was stunned for a moment, and then forced a smile, "I'm sorry, I originally made a new plan for the squirrel cage. But it was rejected by the bishop."

He rubbed his dry eye sockets, and said, "And he gave me enough face... He didn't refuse in front of other doctors, otherwise I'm afraid I won't see you again."

"I know." I said, staring at the black-robed monk whom I once scolded as "better than a beast", and said calmly, "I have something to tell you."

That night, I told Brother Polu about the "joy→sorrow→rage→fear" marks I found on the wall.He jotted down the four words in doubt, raised his eyes and asked me, "Is there anything else besides this?"

I shrugged.He walked around the room twice, pondered for a moment, and opened the register hanging outside the door.

"Before you, no one lived in this room. Here, the name column is blank." Brother Polu said.

I took off my white shoes and said casually, "Maybe there are people living here, but there is no record because of some secret. This place is full of weirdness, lonely souls mourn at night, and many people died. If the guy who carved the lettering is not crazy , then he probably wanted to use these few words to convey something before he died."

Brother Bolu sat down, frowning and studying those few common words, "The arrow connecting in the middle may be the key."

I said, "Then why must it be joy, sorrow, anger, and fear? Have these four words come together in other books?"

Brother Bolu scratched his hair, as if he had vaguely thought of something, "You are right, it is unusual for these four words to be arranged together. The arrow may represent a trend. Emotions range from joy to sorrow, and then to From anger to fear, what will happen in between..."

I yawned and rolled over.The black-robed monk was still thinking hard behind me, I stared at the light and shadow cast by the candlelight on the window, and said, "Friar, in fact, you planned to leave here today."

The movement in the room stopped, and I could hear the other party's deep breathing.The black-robed monk didn't answer me for a long time, but when he passed a doctor outside, he said, "If I leave, will you hate me?"

"..." I put my hands on my head and said calmly, "We hate everyone in the church, the bishop who controls everything, the crazy doctors, including you monks who stand by and watch. It is difficult to break free with our strength alone. Not to mention that our willpower and physical strength have been worn down in repeated experiments. Brother, I never thought that you are the one who can lead us out of the sea of ​​suffering."

"..." Polu fell silent, holding his red eye sockets with his hands.

"But," I looked at the flickering light and shadow on the wall, "at least you fought for us."

His figure moved on the wall, then huddled into a ball like a weeping gorilla.I turned around and found that the black-robed monk was also staring at me, with a kind of familiar light shining in his eyes.I stared at him in the way I was most familiar with, examining him, looking out tentacles of doubt, trying to discover whether there was an invisible camouflage on this surface.

"Believe me, Mr. Lemon, I really want to save you." Brother Bolu stood up, his eyes were firm, and he said in a deep voice, "I admit my initial negative attitude towards you. Because I heard about many natural disasters in the past Man-made disasters, and the plague is the chief culprit. In desperation, the church began to conduct human experiments to study medicine to curb the disease. They succeeded, and indeed saved thousands of lives..."

I stared at him, "Listen, monk. I don't care if the church conducts experiments for more people. But I'm sure, as long as we don't nod our heads and voluntarily be the unlucky ghosts who get needles, they are violating us. No doubt."

"I agree with this." Brother Bolu nodded, "Then there is one more thing, have you heard of it?"

"what's up?"

"Now many prophets, true and false, are preaching the theory of annihilation in a few years." Brother Bolu said, "Some people say that in the near future, dragons will destroy the world."

****

The next day, under the cover of Brother Bolu, I slipped out of the "rat cage" again.

Even after one night, the theory of Mieshi still lingers in my mind.Don't get me wrong, I'm not scared or anything.This world is so rotten, I wish it would be blown to ashes by lightning.But before that, I have to kill the church, smash the rat cage, and punish those who are not as good as pigs and dogs.

Even if the world is destroyed, it is not a reason for me to sit still.As long as it doesn't crush me to death, I'll show it to it.

I said to Brother Bolu, "Do you know? Although you can't save us, I think there is one person who can."

Messiah.My beautiful spirit.

This god who still chooses to embrace my rotting body when I am desperate and numb will never turn our backs on us.

I got the floor plan of the church from Brother Polu, and I circled the place where the Messiah lived, and while the afternoon sun was slowly sinking, I ran across the green field where butterflies were flying, and passed the tall and straight fir trees , hoping to see the milky white hut sooner.At first the monk was shocked by my decision, but after thinking about it, he agreed, and only told me seriously to proceed with caution.

Seeing the scarlet sloping fence, I hid in the bushes and looked around.Surprisingly, the god is sitting on a bench with a backrest, with his hands folded on his lap, wearing a snow-white robe with a collar, and his silhouette is peaceful and serene.

Some unknown emotion in my heart was about to move, my palms were sweating, and I was about to walk out of the bushes, but suddenly I heard a clear and crisp child's voice.

"Big brother, I caught a butterfly!"

"..." I stepped back into the bushes with a dark face, squatted down, and saw a little boy running from the other side of the lawn, holding a bug net and shaking it happily.

I thought someone's stupid son was pestering the Messiah, but when the boy's figure approached, I saw burn scars all over his body, like a layer of pink oil congealed, his legs were deformed, The facial features are unnaturally twisted together, as ugly and hideous as if they have been sewn with needles and threads.

"Alec, did you catch the purple-black butterfly this time?"

My god smiled faintly, fingers lightly touching the butterflies in the boy's net.Those two light amethyst-like butterfly wings swept over his white fingertips, and his lowered eyelashes were more beautiful than the wings of a butterfly.

The boy jumped onto the bench and said happily to him, "Well! Brother, you can't see, I will describe the appearance of a butterfly to you!"

So the god and the deformed boy sat side by side on the garden bench, gossiping about trivial matters.The boy put the butterfly in a glass jar and sealed it. Messiah heard the sound of the glass clanging and asked, "Why did you put it in a glass jar, Alec?"

The boy said, "Because I love it! I'm going to stuff it and put it in front of my bedside table, see it every moment, and keep it within my reach."

The god smiled slightly, "But I heard the sound of fluttering wings. The butterfly doesn't like being sealed in a bottle by you, does it?"

The boy scratched his head, with a distorted expression on his deformed face, "I don't care, I like it, and I will take it with me."

As he spoke, his ugly cheeks collapsed and he began to choke, "Anyway... nothing good has belonged to me since I was a child. Even if it once belonged to me, it will definitely leave me soon."

"So I thought about it." The boy gritted his teeth, "No matter what I think about what I like, I must seal it up and keep it with me anyway! In this way, no one can take it away, and it can't leave me. !"

The god laughed, "Is this your 'love' for it?"

The boy nodded heavily and snorted coldly, "Yes!"

The twilight is dyed a magnificent orange color above the vast sea of ​​clouds, and the lines of light blue and light pink are blended and extended, just like the immature brushwork of children.

"Alec, have you ever thought about..."

The silent time flows slowly like water waves. My god looked up at the vault, with a smile on his lips, and said softly, "What you like is actually a butterfly that flies freely and unrestrained outside the glass bottle. What you like is it. The radiant wings and the light figure resting on the petals. You think it is beautiful, free and full of life, so you love it."

"And when you trap it in the bottle, it is fearful, desperate, irritable, and it no longer has the shadow you once admired and loved. But at that time, you are satisfied, but what is satisfied is not its 'beauty' But the fact that it is the reality that fills your own emptiness. The butterfly is no longer the butterfly you like, and that love has become a terrible obsession. What you are obsessed with is actually the void in your heart. The more you love the glass bottle Butterfly in love can't put it down, the hole in your heart will expand and spread, until you can no longer bear the torment of this false love, and you can no longer deceive yourself—"

My god said quietly, "You killed it and made it into a specimen, right? At the same time, its beauty—the vigor and vitality that attracted you in the first place completely disappeared before your eyes. So You're chasing the next prettier butterfly and repeating the mistakes of the past, over and over again, in a vortex of joy and fear, sorrow and impatience."

"..." Listening to the words of the gods, the boy lowered his head silently, staring at the dying butterfly in the bottle.

He said, "Do you want to go out?"

The butterfly moved its tentacles.

After a brief silence, the boy finally made up his mind and uncorked the glass bottle.The butterfly flapped its thin wings, drilled out from the mouth of the glass bottle, rested on the edge of the bottle for a while, and flew around the fragrance of flowers again.

"Big brother, I let it go."

The boy said, his eyes filled with tears, but his tone was tinged with a smile, "You're right...the one dancing freely among the flowers is really beautiful!"

A ray of soft sunlight shone on the crooked mouth of the boy. With a disappointed but happy smile, he watched the butterfly's brisk flight.The purple-black butterfly lingered in the colorful flowers for a while, then turned back suddenly and stopped in front of the boy.

"Huh?" The boy's eyes widened, as if he didn't expect it to come back to look at him.He stretched out his hand nervously, and the butterfly gently landed on his finger, the butterfly wings slowly opened and closed, like a gently blinking eye.Butterfly and the boy looked at each other for a long time, and the boy smiled happily again.

After the beautiful butterfly flew away, the boy jumped off the bench, wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, and shouted happily to it, "Remember to come and see me again, little butterfly!"

From the beginning to the end, my god is still sitting on the bench. Even though his movements and expressions have not changed, I feel that he is more vivid and full of vitality than ever.

"It's strange, I don't feel bad anymore." The boy stroked his heart and said happily, "Big brother, do you know why?"

"It's very simple." My god smiled slightly.

"Although the butterfly flew away, it left its love to you, Alec."