Bloodline Survival Guide

"Thursday, overcast.

Hang out with the moon today.

Very happy, but also a little sad.

Moon's motorcycle is cool, and he is cool too. The way he smiles at me with his helmet on is very charming.

Those moments when we were riding through the mountains... for the first time I felt that the wind had emotions.

Nature, air, water, trees, all these seem to have emotions.

In the jungle, on the highway, my love started without warning, just happened.

No... maybe I had a crush on him from the start.Maybe he is my destiny?

I'm not sure, but I think and hope so.

In short, I seem to fall in love with a human being in the wind.

I hugged the wind, and the wind took his soul and blew into my arms and heart.

I hold his smell in the wind, his heartbeat, everything about him...all of this is more beautiful than a dream, too unreal.

He blew peppermint smoke into my face, it smelled of him, it was all of him.

I drank the first sip of beer in 29 years with him at the foot of an ordinary mountain.The taste of the wine is also like how I feel when I think of him, a bit bitter, with astringency, and more of a slightly drunken intoxication.

Every word he said gave me the illusion - he liked me, but he just didn't say it.Maybe it's because I'm a vampire, maybe it's something else, whatever it is, it's enough to make me hesitate.

He said to me: I seemed to keep wrapping myself up, but I was trying to open it in front of him.That's what I want, I want him to see what I really am... want to tell him how much I hate myself, how much I hate my life, how I'm afraid of the dark.I want to open myself up and show him both my good and my bad.

Shen Mingguang, I wrote these three words again, these beautiful three words.

I know I'm in love.

02:03AM

Vidar."

**

***

*****

"Thursday, overcast.

I'm sure Vidal likes me.

Anyway, I think that's true, it must be.

The way he looks at me, his eyes, every message from his body tells me: he likes me.

He was afraid of the dark, he was afraid of the dark.

But I have no reason to hug him, tell him that I can illuminate you, I am willing to illuminate you forever, you stay with me.

I can't, Raphael's letter came again, and he reminded me to keep the agreement.

I can not.

I can't help but want to take care of him, but I have to keep an ambiguous distance away, lest I scare him...

I am in a dilemma, I am hesitant, and I am struggling.

In fact, it all started with a mistake.

I shouldn't have anything to do with his life. I should stay away from him as everyone wants, and never see each other again.

But I can't do it.

Every day I miss him, every day I miss Vidal, every minute, every second, every moment... it hurts my body and my mind.

I can't stand it.

When I know that he is alive, breathing the same air as me, we are still living in the same dimension, facing the same sky...how can I not resist getting closer to my love?

I am strong and cowardly.

But what if you get close?After getting close, he will know the truth one day, and know that what he likes is a wolf, the race they hate the most, and then hate me, hate me forever, and then never see me again.

If you don't get close, you will be punished, and if you get close, you will be punished.

I can't go on anymore, I really can't bear to go on.

I'm going crazy, don't torture me... Vidal.Get away from me.

Stay away.

03:02AM

Fenrir."