He is from a fighting nation

Question

One husky plus one Zhou Xiangwan is equal to...

A hundred huskies!

Thanks to Wu Liang "there is a mine at home".

Wu Liang has two apartments in Beijing.The first one was the one that Zhou Xiangwan had been to. It was his usual private residence. It was casually decorated and small in size. There were only six rooms in total. It was Wu Liang's real home.

The second set is a single-family villa for entertaining visitors, with a total of three floors and a small garden. It is specially designed and decorated by a special person, which is more in line with the definition of Wu Liang in the world - a trench.

Wu Liang originally thought very well, one person, one apartment.

Compared with money and housing, Wu Liang is more afraid of trouble, so he plans to let Zhou Xiangwan, a wild little princess, live with his wild husky in the villa to torture and hurt each other.

But the ideal is plentiful, but the reality is cruel. Zhou Xiangwan refuses no matter what, but insists on huddling with him in a small house. Wu Liang has severe cleanliness and obsessive-compulsive disorder, and can accurately spot everything that is wrong. If it is shifted, he needs to straighten things up, and if there are dirty things, he must clean them up.He didn't care about doing anything at home, and followed Zhou Xiangwan, picking up dog hair and Zhou Xiangwan's hair for a day, just like a hard-working gold digger in the 50s.

Wu Liang was so annoyed that he didn't fall asleep all night. On the second day, he moved to a small villa with Zhou Xiangwan and occupied the first floor alone. He thought, this time it will work, but the problem still exists, it's just not so sharp. .

This morning, after Zhou Xiangwan finished skating, Haha sat at the table with Wu Liang for breakfast, and Haha lay down on the ground to eat dog food.

The breakfast styles of the two are completely different.

Wu Liang couldn't understand what kind of mess Zhou Xiangwan was eating, and even suspected that he had no sense of taste.

Zhou Xiangwan's breakfast was divided into three steps.

First, a pack of white powder was poured into a glass. After soaking in water, it turned into a glass of faint blue liquid. It is said to be a nano-scale collagen powder just produced by a Swiss laboratory. It costs 2000 yuan a mouthful. , with a weird fishy smell, but Zhou Xiangwan can drink it down without changing his face.

Then there is a fitness meal that has been carefully proportioned by a nutritionist. Chicken, egg protein, vegetables, fruits, and pills are all put into the wall breaking machine with precise proportions. , Zhou Xiangwan sprinkled some salt on it, and drank it as usual.

The third step is the most coquettish. Zhou Xiangwan has to eat three walnuts, squeeze them open with his hands, and chew them. It is said that it can prevent Alzheimer's disease, which is the key to staying smart in Zhou Xiangwan's opinion.

Wu Liang said, "You are like a witch who prepares magic potions in cartoons."

Zhou Xiangwan raised his eyebrows slightly, poked his own face, and said, "What do you think, my face and figure can't be grown casually. You are so thin and don't like to move, at least you can grow if you eat a little bit." A muscular thing!"

In the same way, Zhou Xiangwan couldn't understand what Wu Liang was eating. He felt that the most gay thing about Wu Liang was the sharpness of cursing.

Wu Yuzhi Liang's Daily Breakfast Recipes

One day, a cup of sweet soy milk, two vegetarian buns, two deep-fried dough sticks.Arrange symmetrically and symmetrically on the table.

A double-day date with a glass of sweet milk, two meat buns, and two eggs.Arranged neatly on the table.

If there is an accident and it is too late to eat breakfast, then eat it together with lunch. In short, the key is to eat symmetrically, and it doesn't matter what you eat.

This morning, the two sat together like this, disgusted with each other, and finished their breakfast in silence.

After dinner, Wu Liang started to talk about business, and said solemnly, "The house is so big, we live alone on the first floor, and we are very free. Why do you have to come to my second floor to find me? I don't think it is necessary for us to have dinner together."

The reason why Zhou Xiangwan came to him was not for serious business, such as playing games, walking the dog, watching movies, chatting, and even eating. He couldn't solve it by himself.Wu Liang felt that his private time was being seriously occupied, he was not used to it, and felt very uncomfortable.

And Zhou Xiangwan was about to have a problem. Wu Liang was terribly silent at home and didn't like to move. He liked to stay alone in the study. If Zhou Xiangwan didn't make some noise, this house would be as if no one lived in it.Zhou Xiangwan said, "Do you live with other people and don't talk to them? I'm not renting here with you. We are friends. If I don't ask you, who can I ask?"

Wu Liang said inexplicably, "I didn't stop talking to you. Did I say good morning and good night to you the day before yesterday? You were still playing rock upstairs, did I say you? According to social etiquette, respect you Your personal space is the best way to treat your friends."

"That's because I said good morning to you first, and you answered me, it doesn't count!" Zhou Xiangwan pointed at the table a few times, "I live with you, and I want to play with you. You ignore Me, I'm bored to death."

Wu Liang said speechlessly, "Zhou Xiangwan, you are 25, not 25 years old. As a mature man, it's time to learn to be alone with yourself. I am not your father, and I have no obligation to play with you. Besides, you don't have a job, I have .”

Zhou Xiangwan was speechless.

He wanted to get closer to Wu Liang, but Wu Liang was a lump of iron, invulnerable to swords and guns, and had strict time management. Even if he stayed at home all day, he had endless things to do, and there was no place for Zhou Xiangwan at all.

"I also have a job, okay!?" Zhou Xiangwan paused, then suddenly thought of a breakthrough, and said, "When you were in school, did you have any good friends? It was the kind of friend whose first instinct was to ask him for help when encountering difficulties. ?”

Wu Liang was silent, his face was a little ugly, because he couldn't think of anyone.

"Ha, I knew it!" Zhou Xiangwan clapped his hands, with a complex expression of "I've got it right", "Is it true that many people come to you to solve problems, and they have a good attitude towards you, and occasionally they can be a little busy, but It's just that no one asks you to hang out, and when you encounter difficulties, there is no one to talk to, right?"

Wu Liang paused, and said lightly, "I don't need to complain. Difficulties are for solving. Confiding will only increase the burden on others and myself, and waste time."

Zhou Xiangwan said again, "What if you can't solve it yourself? Last time you had a fever, what would you do if I wasn't here?"

Wu Liang said, "I will go to the hospital by myself."

Zhou Xiangwan said again, "What if you meet the gangsters alone?"

Wu Liang said, "This is an extreme situation, I won't be so unlucky."

Zhou Xiangwan said in his heart, "You are so unlucky!"

Zhou Xiangwan slowed down his voice and said, "I'm your only serious friend. You have to spend energy to maintain it. This is the case with any relationship. I want to become good friends with you, so I will pester you together." Play."

Wu Liang "..."

Zhou Xiangwan said again, "Anyway, you have to treat me well. Do you know that when I was in school in the United States, it was a very honorable thing to be invited to my arty. The classmates cheered and cried with joy."

Wu Liang: "...it's not the way to play the crown and celebrate each other."

Zhou Xiangwan said righteously, "Anyway, at a young age, your way of making friends is wrong. At an older age, you won't be able to get a boyfriend like this."

Wu Liang thought about it, and actually felt that what Zhou Xiangwan said made sense.After Wu Liang's parents passed away, no one has ever lived with him, and he has never made friends who are clingy and faceless like Zhou Xiangwan, so there are very few reference cases for friends.

Wu Liang is a president who is very good at accepting other people's opinions, not to mention that he was so annoyed by Zhou Xiangwan that his head was pounding, he rubbed his eyebrows and said, "Then what do you want?"

Zhou Xiangwan blinked his right eye quickly, and said, "Son, Dad will take you by the hand to make friends."

Seeing Zhou Xiangwan's expression, Wu Liang felt terrified, and said, "Wait, let's sign a cohabitation contract first."

Zhou Xiangwan "..."

Zhou Xiangwan waited for an hour before Wu Liang came out of the study. He looked at Wu Liang's radiant face, and his ominous premonition grew stronger - after so long, the contract must have more than ten pages, right?

However, Wu Liang, as the king of contracts, has never disappointed anyone with his performance in writing legal documents. He handed the documents to Zhou Xiangwan with both hands, and sat upright opposite him, just like he usually talks about projects.

Zhou Xiangwan flipped through a dozen thick A4 papers and was dumbfounded.

So thick.

There are 1998 clauses, including additional clauses, a total of 2222 clauses, including the cover, full of 82 pages, just printed out, white and fresh, still warm, with the milky fragrance of ink.

Zhou Xiangwan's Adam's apple twitched, and he said dumbly, "How many words are there?"

Wu Liang said, "Forty-one thousand nine hundred and ninety-five, if you add my signature and yours, the total is forty-two thousand."

Zhou Xiangwan "..."

Forty-two thousand! ! !

A full forty-two thousand! ! !

All of this is just a roommate agreement between ordinary friends! ! !

What about falling in love?What about getting married? !

Think carefully.

Zhou Xiangwan's eyes darkened for a while, and he said, "You just typed in an hour, and you typed so many words?"

Wu Liang said, "No. This is an agreement I made with my roommate at the university. Considering our actual situation, I made appropriate additions and deletions."

Zhou Xiangwan thought to himself, "What kind of monsters are those who practice law?!"

He had the urge to yell at Wu Liang, "I'm free, I won't watch! I won't listen! I won't sign!"

But rationality told Zhou Xiangwan——Wu Liang had already made a concession, and it could even be said that he doted on him very much.

For Wu Liang, the contract meant a sense of security and responsibility. He should give Wu Liang the same respect, even if he would not abide by it, he should take it seriously.

He also needs to spoil Wu Liang very much!

Therefore, Zhou Xiangwan also showed seriousness in negotiating business, and carefully checked each item. The first third of the contract is basically the legal liability part. Two-thirds can be regarded as a code of conduct.

Zhou Xiangwan read it through and raised his own questions.

"Your house, even the cooking aunt can't come in? What about the sweeper?"

Wu Liang said, "No. I don't like people entering my house and touching my things. If you want to invite friends over, please tell me in advance."

Zhou Xiangwan said, "What do you mean you have to pee right? And you are not allowed to pee together?"

Wu Liang said, "It's written very clearly. If it spills out, wash the toilet by yourself."

Zhou Xiangwan "... Don't you think it's interesting to compare who pees farther than living with a woman or a man? Qian Meng and I often compare."

Wu Liang politely refused, "...that's the interest between you, I don't need it."

Zhou Xiangwan didn't hear anything wrong, so he looked at it for a while, and said, "Why did you write that Party B (Zhou Xiangwan) is not allowed to go to Party A's (Wu Liang) bedroom to look in the mirror at any time and under any circumstances?"

The veins on Wu Liang's forehead twitched, he took a deep breath, and said, "Do you know what a terrible visual impact it is to wake up early in the morning, open your eyes, and see someone running around in the room without any clothes on? hair fell on my bed!"

Zhou Xiangwan stood up, raised his arms and turned around, saying, "Hey, with this figure, how can it be considered bad? I think your aesthetics, tsk, no."

Wu Liang said frantically, "Anyway, it's not allowed! This is a very perverted behavior, no different from a street exhibitionist!"

Zhou Xiangwan said, "Okay. I didn't mean to be perverted. Only your bedroom has a full-length mirror. The mirror in the bathroom is not big enough. I can't look in the mirror, so I can't sleep."

Zhou Xiangwan remembered another unbelievable thing, and sighed, "Your house doesn't have a bag, and you don't have a separate cloakroom. You are really a bunch of different fireworks among gays."

Wu Liang remembered that he had promised to buy Zhou Xiangwan a bag when he had a fever last time, but he hadn't bought it yet, so he said, "...make a list of what you are missing at once, and I will take you to buy it. When you move out, you can buy it yourself." To be responsible for cleaning up."

Zhou Xiangwan's eyes lit up, his elbows rested on the edge of the table, his body leaned forward slightly, and he said cheerfully, "Can I put whatever I want at home?"

Zhou Xiangwan's eyes are very beautiful, especially when he looks at people with joy, like two bright little stars spinning in his blue eyes.Wu Liang was dazed for a moment, and without thinking too much, he hummed and agreed.

Zhou Xiangwan heard the words, picked up the phone, and quickly made a list. During the typing break, he suddenly raised his head, looked at Wu Liang and smiled, then immediately lowered his head, his feather-like eyelashes drooping down, keeping himself safe and honest, just like Little bastard.

Suddenly, an ominous premonition that he might go bankrupt seized Wu Liang's heart and made him choke, but he immediately dismissed the thought and thought to himself, "What can a big man buy? How expensive is a bag? Don't panic."