Hunter x Hunter: Feitan, I am your mother

The 11-year-old Feitan I met.

1983.9.4

11-year-old Feitan was tortured by a group of guys for a long time, so I captured the gang and told Feitan to handle it by himself.

11-year-old Feitan was already wary, so it took a long time for him to trust me.

Feitan, 11, is very possessive, so I tell him I'm a mother, but it doesn't seem to work.

Feitan, who was 11, hadn't even used a knife yet, so I had to teach him from scratch, as I remembered him.

How many fights, how much pain, did it become like this?

PS: (So talent is really inborn? It doesn’t matter how late it is, the talent for torture can be seen from Feitan’s way of dealing with enemies... Tsk, but he seems very satisfied and asked me to Taught more, and then I told him that practice makes the truth...well, did I do it wrong?)

1983.12.1

Feitan went to the street again, tsk tsk, this time he was seriously injured, I was very angry, and then helped him change into women's clothes when he couldn't move, um, very cute, take a photo to commemorate, although he drew his knife after he was able to get down to the ground As if to kill me.

But he still couldn't beat me, so he could only swallow this breath.

1984.12.24

I met Paknotan who was wearing a soul by chance, and he has been so black-bellied since he was a child.

1984.9.1

Today he suddenly asked if I would be with him all the time?I was silent for a long time in his vague and carefully concealed uneasiness, and then told him that nothing lasts forever, that promises are never worth reality, and that even I couldn't believe it.

Think about his relationship with the spiders, and tell him that partners can be trusted.

……

1986.2.2

Kuroro secretly contacted me and asked me to join the brigade, because he knew that Feitan would definitely not agree. I expressed my willingness, but because of my ability, I couldn't get the tattoo at all.Ku Luolu gave up after trying to no avail. I told him that it is okay to want me to be a bodyguard secretly. After all, they are still young, but after a few years, they should treat me better.

I have deliberately avoided most of the ps brigade.

1986.10.1

As that day gradually approached, my spirit became more and more decadent, and Feitan's unconscious concern made me feel happy and worried at the same time.

1986.11.2

When protecting those guys, I met Hines, but he was just a kid who didn't know anything. After meeting him once, I didn't look for him again.

1986.11.4

I went to see the person with the ability to read, and he told me that it was the damage to the soul.

"Unless we stop breathing, our souls are aging. Unless you die, the mental damage cannot be stopped."

"Your ability is special, no, maybe it's not an ability, but a magical power. It won't make you really die."

Is it the power of Shui Liuli?Or the damage caused by the water glass?I have no idea.

1987.12.17

Fei Tan's 15th birthday, really feels like a baby in my family?According to my physical age, I should be 20 years old this year?Still 19 years old?Ah, age really is a loophole.It's right not to admit it.

Even Kuroro already had a woman, but Fei Tan didn't seem to have such a plan.I've been getting colder towards him lately and he's very irritable.

Although this kind of mood is extremely complicated, but the day of my death is coming, so I patted him on the shoulder to vaguely hint at him, and he slammed the door and walked away amidst Kuroro knight's snicker.

After getting rid of the bloody and inhuman lumps on the bed, I left Meteor Street without saying anything under Feitan's provocative gaze.

Ps: This day was suggested by the knight as my birthday. Coincidentally, the day I picked Feitan home was this day.

Xia Ke is very smooth at a young age, but I still feel bad for him, because he used to, no, he will make me feel bad in the future.Although I thought that the reason why he treats me in the future is because I treated him when I was a child, but whatever, I won't remember these things when I wake up again.

1988.6.19

I faked my own death, sent a text message to Kuroro to tell Feitan that I was dead, and asked him to make the brigade pretend not to know me from now on.

Because the body could not support, so had to rest in the nursing home.I spend most of my time sleeping, lying on a deck chair on the beach and looking at the sea. I feel like the years have passed, and I feel like an old man, huh?

1988.12.23

Feitan was about to leave Meteor Street, so I left the nursing home.

The night I left, Luna sang me a song.

"Immersed in cold water,

Looking back on the choices we made,

in countless silent nights

Just watch like that..."

……

[End of diary]

……

1988.12.24

Boredom mixed with exhaustion is what I'm feeling right now.

Meteor Street at dusk is unexpectedly beautiful, and even the broken limbs are full of lonely and cruel beauty.

I went back to the house where I rescued him, tore up things he shouldn't have seen, and threw them into the flames along with what I had left here.

Standing in the lonely grave, I wait for him to find me.

……

"Why?" His golden eyes were the same as mine, but darker than mine.

"Because I'm tired." I looked down at the knife in my hand quietly, then pointed at him, "You know, I get bored easily."

"You betrayed me."

"Really?" I smiled casually under his fixed gaze, "Fei Tan, I tell you, don't believe me."

……

With my death, there is no weakness in his heart.

I'm pretty sure no one will ever hit him by heart again.

I have to do this, because he was born on Meteor Street, because he lives on Meteor Street, because—this is a cruel world.

……

When I wake up, I will see you again, without memory, without any pain.and die again...

"Want to be together forever."

"Want to see him all the time."

"He who wants to live."

My wish did come true, endless loop, no past and no future.

……

"Do you regret it?"

The author has something to say: Please calm down after seeing the ending tonight, because there will be another episode tomorrow night.

☆, the final chapter

"Do you regret it, Ansuna?"

The voice next to his ear asked again, and in the silent darkness, a figure gradually appeared in front of him.

"Regret is an emotion only for the weak. If I do it again, I will still make this choice."

"Your answer still hasn't changed."

"I'm just waiting for your explanation."

"Because this body is not yours. In other words, she belongs to Ansuna of this world.

The difference between Ansuna in this world and Ansuna in that world is only a memory.

If you don't have that memory, you won't know Feitan, but you will live a good life.

Ansuna, do you still remember what you were called in the original world, but you who didn't cross over to be a hunter? "

"..." I was silent for a long time, but I couldn't answer.

"I tampered with your memory a little bit. If you remember, you will only be in needless pain."

"Ansuna, do you want to recover? I can let you meet again, in another world, but if you want to keep the memory, those painful ones will also be remembered."

I froze for a moment, then laughed.

"Well, is that so? This is the last cycle. I've said the same thing many times, but this is the last time." Hines smiled without any surprise.

"I love you."

The author has something to say: I know that you are not satisfied, but don’t worry, there will be a special episode of Fei Tan at [21 o’clock tomorrow], it’s not too late to scold me after watching the episode.You may still not understand, so there may be another episode of Hines on a certain day.

I've thought about it for a long time, I really want to write a sad one, write some sad endings to torture everyone, but it's not suitable, I can't be so willful.

So this vague and specious article serves as the ending of the novel, and the novel always leaves some unsolved mysteries before it is called a novel, and then the mystery is revealed in [Fan Wai].

After all, this is more interesting~

☆、【Extra】Fei Tan

"I am your mother."

This guy actually dared to tell him that, even after many years, Feitan still felt very annoyed.

Just so again.

Saying sorry, he left again.

In fact, he has already faintly felt the moment of parting, whether it is the tears in his eyes in the middle of the night, or the sadness under the heartless smile on weekdays.

It all seemed to be a cycle.

The first time I saw her at that time, the sunlight came through the window and shone on the long dark blue hair, and there was a bewildering tenderness in the clear golden eyes.

Why do you believe her?

It must be because she cried at the moment when she hugged him, with the joy and confusion of regaining something important.

But the sadness in her bones and the decadent depression during the day could not be dissipated.

She disappeared suddenly that year, and he searched almost frantically, until that feeling was attacked by hatred and numbness, and he got the news of her death.

She is dead.

All emotions become numb and powerless in an instant.

Blood, killing, torture, wailing, it seemed that there was only these left around for a moment.

The moment she stood on Meteor Street, the joy in her heart was in disgusting contrast to the coldness after her words.

"I'm tired of it."

After many years, she turned her head to look at him with the uncontrollable trust in her clear eyes, which made him extremely disgusted.

Hating her, telling lies that can be seen through at a glance,

Loathing her, he purposely provoked him with a forced smile on his face.

In fact, she also hated him who ended her life.

Her life did not end when he was 21 years old, but when he was 15 years old, he stabbed a knife into her chest with his own hands.

At that time, warm blood splashed on his face, and he mocked, so her blood was also warm.

Life is so empty.

Soon the passing of other people's lives was no longer exciting, and only the danger of a close brush with death interested him.

Or, it was the distorted expressions of those guys suffering from torture.

But she appeared again.

Recognized at first glance.

How ridiculous.

Poor and miserable.

I don't remember anything, I don't remember that she ever abandoned him, and I don't remember that he tortured her.

The bright eyes are as bright as before, and there is something less and more than then.

She just wants to be destroyed!

He was obviously afraid but insisted on following him.

It was clearly painful but he dared not show it.

The faint irritability in her heart after killing her many years ago reappeared, so he deliberately showed disgust and killing intent, and she was indeed afraid.

But like a fool, he came over recklessly.

Did she expect him not to kill her?

Hmph, ridiculous.

Since she can be reborn, it doesn't matter if she is killed again!

After he dealt with the opponent neatly, he made a report to Kuroro and went back, with an impulse and excitement driven by the desire to kill.

"Because I like him!"

As soon as he walked outside the door, he heard her swearing words.

The urge to kill was suddenly wiped out by something, but there was a certain desire in his heart.

Death is too simple, this game needs to be played a little longer, now let her go.

He said this in his heart, or explained it, it was just possessive, just because it was more interesting to make her smiling face stained with blood.

That's all.

disappeared.

The moment I heard the news, my heart was agitated as if I had been splashed with cold water. Before I had time to react, I was told that I was kidnapped.

"Oh, I accidentally let her be taken away." Xia Ke explained with a smile, his smile was so hypocritical that he didn't bother to poke it out.

"Fei Tan, you won't be angry, right? You said you didn't care."

He was testing him, and this kind of boring temptation made people sneer.

"So, after three days, the attack is still the same?" the knight said pointedly.

Kuroro looked at his reaction with an amused expression on his face, and he agreed blankly, but his heart felt agitated, 3 days...

That stupid woman has thoughts, but only for three days.

She...she can't even remember the past, can reading still work?

"gameover!"

"gameover!"

"gameover!"

Pressing retry with a blank face, the irritability in my heart is getting deeper and deeper.

"Hey, I forgot to mention an interesting thing. The man who kidnapped her seems to be very interested in her!" Xia Ke raised his head from the phone and smiled casually.

"Crack-"

The game console in his hand made a fragile cracking sound.

"Hey!" Finx joined in the fun, his face full of excitement.

Obviously this kind of discussion has also been discussed on other trophies, but at this moment it disgusts him.

Standing up suddenly, the continuous low air pressure exudes and pushes towards the surroundings. Kuroro said lightly, "There is no infighting among members of the regiment."

This was the first time he was dissatisfied with this rule, and someone had to bear the anger in his heart.

No one knew better than him what would happen if he fell into the hands of the enemy on Meteor Street, and those dirty and broken corpses became her, which suddenly became unbearable.

At the moment he saw her, Fei Tan thought she was dead for a moment.

There were dried blood stains on the ground, the thick and disgusting smell of blood in the air, the hands were bound by iron chains, and the red and swollen scars were hanging down feebly.

The moment she broke the chain, she fell into his arms, her head resting weakly on his neck, but she could hear her breathing.

"Fei Tan, I thought I'd never see you again..."

He likes her.

He wants her.

Likes and desires seem to be mixed and indistinguishable, or they are one.

He couldn't tell whether he was possessive because he liked her, or he liked her because of possessiveness.

She appeared when he was young and stayed by his side for so many years.

He was not a sloppy person in the first place. Now that he knew what he wanted, he turned what he wanted into reality.

Even if she resists, he won't let her go again.

It's just that guy is getting more and more arrogant——

Shameless words are always spoken carelessly, with a sincere look on his face.

Become angry from embarrassment, and get used to it.

He didn't touch her because there were still some unrevealed things, and the appearance of Hynes was supposed to be a breakthrough, but it made him start to feel irritable.

He trains her and restores her to her old strength.

Until the moment of the training ground, she quietly looked at the opponent with empty eyes, mercilessly planning to stab the sword into the opponent's body.

The figure of the past and the present were about to overlap suddenly, and for a moment he couldn't tell if he wanted to change her back to her original form, or to stop it all.

Subconsciously blocked her knife.

That's enough.

No need to go any further.

So he spent a whole month dealing with various ability users. They have been researching, and they didn't give an answer until recently.

She has no memory because the past has not happened yet.

From a vague premonition to a definite answer to reality, it didn't take long.

Some of the things explained in that diary did not satisfy him.

Can't stop, some things, no matter how powerful you are, can't be changed.

She had told him that with a smile a long time ago, and it wasn't until now that he really understood what it meant.

Indulging her in the last moments of her life, or did I always long for such a life in my heart?

ridiculous.

Her existence seemed to be an endless loop.

Until one day many years later, a book was published - "The Taste of Candy and Pain".

"Fetan Feitan, I recommend you a book, "The Taste of Candy and Pain"!"

The book she had told him years ago was only published today.After investigating the author, the possibility of their acquaintance was ruled out.

Then there is only one reason, she is from the future, or, from another world.

Read this book in the sun, then throw it in the trash.

"There's something paranoid about everybody."

A girl's laughter suddenly came from her ears, and she turned her head in a little astonishment. She had long black hair and black eyes that were curved like shards of sunlight, and she hung up the phone with a smile.

Wearing that layer of brilliant skin, speaking hypocritical and polite language, but unable to conceal the rotten darkness and desire under the fur.

Following her silently, the girl's footsteps are brisk, but her quiet face is beautiful.

"Yueyue, this is what I am obsessed with."

If... If she hadn't met him, if she didn't have that kind of sadness, would it be like this?

Heartless, carefree, have many friends, go to school, go shopping, watch movies...

so warm.

Belongs to the sunshine he cannot touch.

Thinking of this, will give birth to the desire to destroy because of the stinging pain.

Staying in the shadow of the corner, grabbing forward.

It was only a centimeter away, and in the end it was just letting the long hair brush past the fingertips.

"whispering sound."

Withdrawing his hand, Fei Tan frowned, wiped his pockets with both hands, and walked in the opposite direction to her with an indifferent expression.

Alternatives?

--He does not need it.

In this world, the sun is shining and the weather is bright.

She smiles brightly, walks towards the sun, reads books, goes shopping, plays games and eats, grieves or rejoices over insignificant things, forgets the past and welcomes the future,

He is cold and ruthless, immersed in darkness, wandering on the edge of danger, enjoying the deadly excitement, abandoning the past and not caring about the future.

Yes, as it should be.

The fates of the two of them, in the end, cannot intersect, but run opposite each other——parallel lines.

……

the other side

The surrounding flames were soaring into the sky, and the pungent bloody smell lingered.

The blood stained the pure white wedding dress, and this contrast was breathtakingly beautiful.

"Please...don't die..." Tears unstoppably slid down from between his fingers and fell on his already cold pale cheeks.

Kissing his cold lips, in the end he just cried, despaired, and collapsed.

"Fei Tan, please...don't die!"

Since then, the pain has penetrated deep into the bone marrow, and the tears can no longer be wiped clean.

……

His turn was so crisp, so he didn't fail to see that the black-haired girl who Ben missed hung up the phone with a smile, with a sly smile on her lips, watching him leave quietly.

【Finish】

The author has something to say: The end of the flower ~~~ Well, there is another episode of Hines, let's see when I get inspired, I will explode, it is also a recent thing.Let me explain my studies. I was admitted to a key high school, but I was not very satisfied with the one. Although I have to stay no matter how far away, but a familiar place is always safer than an unfamiliar place. On the 25th I will go to military training~~

In view of my pissing nature, I wrote my testimonials here in advance. It is the first novel in my life that is truly finished. Because I always burst out some brain holes suddenly, but I always lose interest very quickly, so I keep reading. I didn’t pick up a pen to write an article, what supported me to write it down, of course, was my love for Feitan~~ and the support of the little cuties~

In fact, my writing style is not like this, and it is not quite the same as the other one I wrote.

These two articles can be regarded as impulsive and sudden.

Meng Shang Feitan, it is still a new version. At first glance, I thought this dwarf was a bit handsome. After a long time, I felt that he looked so handsome. Then I read a very good fanart, and then posted It's out of control...

But I didn't have the idea of ​​writing fanfiction... The origin of the brain hole was because of a song, which made me suddenly think of a picture, that is, a woman with long hair was pushed into the grave... Later, I watched a few more The first article, um, I haven’t finished reading it. The first fanart left a deep impression on me, but the next few articles made me have this urge.

I am used to coding while listening to songs, and it is often the inspiration brought by the songs.In the middle, I felt some pressure because of the collapse of the characters and popularity (so I wrote another article), but I still persisted.Now suddenly I can’t remember how I felt at the beginning, I feel very good now~very good~

According to my urination, the ending would have dragged on for a long time, but recently I was in a lot of pain when I wrote another article. I coded tens of thousands of words before writing this one.

In fact, I have already written the extra episode. Within the first 10 chapters, yes, I am the one who writes what comes to mind, and then uses my brain cells to make up the cause and effect.

People must have collapsed.I know, although I don't know where the crash is.But I tried my best to embody it.

At least no one said it was unbearable.

Seriously, I never read other fanfics about Feitan because I would want to delete them.I also never read what I wrote, that would make me want to delete it.The thought of abandoning the pit really flashed through countless times... But when I watched Hunter Full-time, I couldn't help but want to laugh every time Feitan appeared, and then there was that kind of shyness and shame that I couldn't bear to look at?

Feitan is much cuter than Hisoka, and the insomnia in the middle of the night is because I was thinking about what kind of experience would lead to Hisoka’s character, what kind of experience would make people hurt, and the feeling is not anger but excitement Woolen cloth?I still haven't figured it out... No.1 is much easier to write than the third person, after all, it is the world that "I" sees.