HP Dawn Night

Many years later, Narcissa asked me again and again: How did you fall in love with Severus?

Who knows.I am silent.

The children were chasing and making noise on the grass, and I looked down at the reflection in the cup. Many years have passed since my girlhood, and the throbbing heartbeat at that time has long since subsided.I was finally able to look back at the only love in my life, only to find that even I couldn't give a definite answer.

I used to not have great expectations for my future.I know I'm going to inherit the family business, I'm going to marry a well-matched pure-blood wizard, and I'm going to have one or more kids in Slytherin house.A life without too many variables may not be a good thing. I don't reject the feeling that the years are quiet.

Until I met Severus, Severus Snape.

Don't think of "rich girl falling in love with poor boy" stories, I didn't fall in love with Severus at first sight.Seriously, who would want to fall in love with Severus? ——The gloomy, slovenly half-blood wizard who clings to Gryffindor's Lily Evans all day long.The whole school commented on his greasy hair and Muggle clothes under his wizard robes, and in this case, despite being in his class, I didn't speak to Severus in the first few years a few words.

What's more, I was very beautiful at that time. There is no one in Slytherin who doesn't love Margaret Watson.I usually receive twice as much chocolate as other girls on Valentine's Day, and Narcissa often teases me that I can choose from Slytherin boys.Really, this is no joke.When I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized that it wasn't entirely fair to find Merlin, that he would give someone beauty and wisdom as well as wealth.

I am perfect, if there is no accident, my whole life will be so perfect, right?

I also thought to myself who I might marry in the future.Of course it can't be Crabbe or Goyle, maybe it's Cygnus Bulstrode, maybe it's one of the Black brothers, maybe it's that Mr. Say, look how smooth your life is!

Of course I wouldn't notice Severus in the corner, Severus in Slytherin who was so cold-eyed.

Still, I'd be forced to look at him in Potions class.This unpopular boy always pushes me over the head from time to time, which makes me extremely dissatisfied.But it's not too angry. I don't care too much with such a person.

Things started to change in fourth grade, when Professor Slughorn handed me a purple invitation: "Finally! Finally!—Welcome to my little club, Margaret." He winked at me. Blinking, "I promise you'll like it, the most attractive boys in school are here. Promise me that you'll be dressed up for your first party of the year."

Professor Slughorn loved me because of my talents and my family name.

It was at Slughorn's party that I really met Severus Snape.

I was talking to Slughorn at the time, and he suddenly waved his hand happily: "Ah——Severus, you're finally here. Come on, Margaret, you must be very impressed with Severus , right? Two potion geniuses gathered here at the same time..."

I was certainly impressed with Severus, and I won't easily forget how this man usurped my place in Potions.Competitiveness instantly ignited my fighting spirit. After many years, I have forgotten what else Slughorn said, but I remember reaching out to Severus under the mistletoe: "Nice to meet you." Of course, I can't help showing a little childish arrogance in my actions.

But my fighting spirit suddenly became nothing when I faced Severus' attitude.

Severus didn't seem to want to shake my hand, he didn't even look me in the eye, but forced by Slughorn's burning gaze, he reluctantly touched my hand as a greeting.I noticed that he rarely changed into more formal clothes, and even his hair seemed to be neatly combed-although there was still a hint of greasy feeling.

Then I saw Lily Evans.

"Severus?" She looked surprised, "Why didn't you tell me you'd come?"

As a bystander, I clearly saw that under Lily's blue eyes, an unsightly blush appeared on Severus' sallow face: "I..."

You want to surprise her.Being excluded from the conversation, I thought sarcastically.

Unexpectedly, Severus, who ignored everyone, would blush and stammer because of another girl.

I was a little angry because I had nowhere to vent my self-talking pride.

Have I ever been jealous of Lily?

Maybe.

She had all the attention and... love from Severus after all.If that can be called love.

I've never been able to explain exactly how I fell in love with Severus.Maybe it's his casual attitude towards me, maybe it's the rumors about him in Slytherin, maybe it's his talent for potions, or maybe it's just that I'm too busy.

I was only 15 years old at the time, and I didn't understand love, nor the future, and I didn't know that fate is a pair of ruthless hands that will disrupt the chessboard we play in seconds.

All in all, I officially launched an assault on Severus not long after.There's never been anything I haven't had in the past 15 years, and I'm confident or conceited that Severus will fall into my grasp like those delicate playthings.I call it "the game" and I'm not tired of it, I'm sure the winner will be me, Severus...he's no different from the boys who send me chocolates.

But I miscalculated.

He ignored my deliberate provocations in class, he refused to go to Hogsmeade with me, he didn't respond to my Christmas presents, he started avoiding me, he was silent.He still followed Lily Evans, but this time I was behind him.

No one can understand me.Even Narcissa thought I was crazy.She hesitated to speak and reminded gently: "Snape may be a good pharmacist, but there is a big gap between you..."

"No, Narcissa, I'll always make it." Severus' refusal stimulated me somewhat.The more I can't get something, the more I want to get it. I began to further want to intervene in Severus' life. I came out to rescue the predator when he was in a difficult situation. This weird behavior even caused the predator to be confused.

"I don't understand," Sirius Black said to me once, "why do you keep defending snotties?"

"You like him, don't you?" interposed James Potter briskly, "but he doesn't seem to want to talk to you at all!"

"Then why do you keep trying to get Evans' attention?" I retorted. "And don't call him a snot!"

At the same time, I felt long-lost heart palpitations.Maybe I don't know when, I have allowed myself to be overly involved in this "game".

I tried my best to know everything about Severus.He even learned about Severus' family from Professor Slughorn: a cowardly mother and a domineering father.I could picture that dark, dayless alley, and I could understand why Lily Evans had been such a light in his life.

I went through all the old newspapers in the library and finally found the news about Severus' mother. "Prince", what an aristocratic name.In my wild pity, Severus is almost like a prince in trouble.Of course it wasn't his fault, assuming he could be born into a pure wizard family, surely he would grow up to be no worse than James Potter, right?

I've come to have a little pity and respect for Severus, partly because of his unfortunate family, partly because of his attitude towards bullying.At least he always knew how to fight back.

I also came to realize that despite Severus' indifference to me, he was good enough to Lily.I think he is probably this kind of person, he will not care about those things that are not worth caring about, but he will do his best to love those things he loves, such as Lily, such as potions.

That is, since then, many of my concepts have slowly changed.I no longer think half-bloods are scum, nor do I have any natural hostility towards Gryffindors.I began to question my past concepts and life.

Is this Severus' influence on me?

I do not know.

He was never the one book I could read.

Later, later...

When I was 16, my dad started looking for potential spouses for me.I even wanted to make an engagement with Sirius at one point, but it ended because the latter ran away from home.

But my resistance to the engagement got my father's attention.He called me into the study during the summer vacation: "Maggie, you are my only daughter." He stared at me deeply, "There is nothing in this world that you can't get."

I looked around the resplendent and resplendent study room and smiled wryly.Of course, anything that can be exchanged for money can appear in front of me in a second.Except love.Except love.

"Maggie," my father was silent for a moment, "do you have someone you want?"

"No—" I immediately denied it.

He sighed slightly: "If there is anything, you might as well say it. I'm not the kind of person who wants to use the marriage of children to gain benefits, Maggie, I just want you to spend the rest of your life happily with the one you love. "He stared at the portrait of my mother for a long time, and I saw tears pool in his eyes.

But how shall I tell you, father?Tell you I'm in love with a lowly half-breed?Tell you, the one I love has a crush on another?

After going back and forth, I finally shook my head: "No, Father, I just think it's too early."

He looked into my eyes, and after a moment, my father dropped the subject: "Would you like to take a look at my new potion?" I nodded.

He picked up the small, clear glass bottle on the table, which contained some unknown liquid.Father slowly opened the bottle cap.I was stunned.

I smell the pure herbal fragrance, the smell of water, and the stale smell of old books.

I saw tears roll down my father's cheeks, and I knew what the mysterious liquid was before I asked.

"Maggie, I miss your mother."

"I like potions very much, but I chose to go into business because I wanted to inherit the family business, but your mother has always encouraged me to do what I like to do, and she even helped me build a basement dedicated to brewing potions .”

"Whenever I do experiments, she will be my assistant. Although you are still very young, you have already shown interest in herbs and so on. Your mother always told me that you will definitely be a master of potions in the future..."

"But one day, my formula made a big mistake... The whole manor was almost destroyed..."

"I was dying and I woke up in St. Mungo's... They said your mother chose to protect us, she could have been spared such a serious injury... I begged them to heal her, but it didn't work, there is no potion for that Wrong recipe."

"The therapists erased this part of your memory forever, but I haven't forgotten it, Maggie. When I look at you, I always think of your mother. She often said that she would marry you to someone you really liked— — Just like me and her, she also said that your name will be written in the Potions textbook in the future... I can't forget her..." My father burst into tears, "I finally made the antidote, but it was too late ,too late……"

"Father..." I rested my head on his shoulder.The figure of my mother has actually disappeared from my memory, but I can't bear to see the man who raised me cry.

"Maggie, you must marry this man." My father thrust the glass bottle into my hand, "It will only remind you of the person you love the most...love...nothing can fool potions... "Father pushed me away abruptly, "I want to be alone for a while." I knew that he must have recalled his mother who had passed away for many years in it. When I bowed to leave, I saw the eternally youthful mother in the portrait.

This is love?Can make a person still burst into tears ten years later?

I love him?I love Severus?I love Severus Snape?

I held the glass bottle, unable to answer.

Severus broke up with Lily Evans over his indiscretions, and Lily started dating James a few months later.This was a devastating blow to Severus, who was introduced to the Dark Arts and socialized with some of the Slytherins.

In fact, as long as you think about it with your brain, you will know that it is impossible for him to enter the core of that circle.In the eyes of others, he is at most just a useful pawn.

"You shouldn't be doing this," I told Severus, finding him in an empty classroom, "Lily wouldn't—"

"Don't mention her name!" he yelled at me furiously, and a book slipped to the floor because of his movement, and I saw the title.It was an advanced black art handbook popular among senior students.

I suddenly noticed that all his emotions and choices seemed to have nothing to do with me, and it seemed that all he cared about was Lily Evans from the beginning to the end.

Is a one-man show interesting?I question myself for the first time.Then, uncontrollably, I asked, "You—do you love her?"

Through the bangs, Severus' eyes shot two unfriendly sharps.

"Do you know I like you?" I asked in a low voice.

He didn't answer.

I suddenly saw everything before, and how others saw me.I followed him humbly like he was chasing Lily's footsteps.It turned out that I didn't know when I had put myself so low into the dust.I suddenly remembered the farce after the OWLs exam, probably in the eyes of everyone, I was the clown in the middle of nowhere, right?

My nails dug into my own fingertips, and I thought, this is the last time I will beg him so humbly.I heard my own voice: "So... have you considered staying with me?"

This time, he quickly answered: "No."

His attitude towards me always seemed to be the same: cold, impatient.But I never knew.

I raised my eyes, realizing for the first time that there was no warmth in the way Severus was looking at me.It dawned on me that the look he gave me was always the same: unemotional, guarded, and...a little bit of disgust that I never wanted to admit.

Does Love Make You Lose Judgment?I touched the glass bottle in my pocket, my father's words may not be true, if the person I love doesn't love me, what's the use?

I chose to turn around and leave, at least in this way I can still preserve the last trace of dignity.

During the winter break that year I visited Narcissa, who was to be married to Lucius in a few months.In Narcissa's boudoir, I told her the truth for a year.She listened patiently: "Maggie, love is probably the most confusing thing in the world, and no one can explain what it is all about. I don't think you're really 'in love' with Si Nep."

"You mean I'm just attracted to him?"

"Yes. It's normal for people to be curious about things they haven't seen or touched." Narcissa smiled, "What's more, for most people, love may be something that they can't touch in their lifetime. "

"So, do you love Lucius?" I hesitated for a moment and asked.

Narcissa deepened her smile: "You know the answer, Maggie."

That is not to love.The alliance between Black and Malfoy is not because of love, but the combination of Narcissa and Lucius is a match made in heaven. Even if they don't really love each other, the similar growth environment and similar three views are enough for them to walk side by side.A long time can kill passion, but it can also polish character, so how is it important to love or not to love?I suddenly began to envy my father, he is probably one of the few people in this world who has experienced love?

"I see." I said to Narcissa.

Then, a few days later, I mentioned my engagement to my father.I suggested that he reselect a husband for me.

"Did Narcissa say anything to you?" He put down his knife and fork and asked seriously after listening to me.

"Father, you are lucky. But I'm afraid I don't have the courage and ability to be like you." I tried to smile, "Besides, it doesn't seem to be bad. Lucius and Narcissa, they will grow old together, won't they ?”

My father looked at me across the long table, and after a while, he nodded: "OK."

In the summer of the day I turned seventeen, I became officially engaged to Signus Burst.I can't say that I am very familiar and close to him, but other people's evaluation of his style is very good. Generally speaking, this is a marriage that can't be wrong, and I should be satisfied.

After the formal engagement, Signus invited me to pay a visit to the Burstead estate.His parents were gentle, his sister was understanding, and he was very personable, and we didn't have very heated conversations, but we hit it off.If nothing else, we will have our wedding in the summer of our graduation year.Of course I feel grateful and satisfied, but I can't talk about excitement.

My father asked me if I had any problem with the engagement.I shake my head.

"That's good." I said to my father, and I saw the worry hidden in his brow.He has always been the person who knows me best, and he must have vaguely guessed the thoughts in my heart.

Potion can detect people's hearts, but love cannot be boiled at will.

On the eve of returning to Hogwarts for school, I opened the glass bottle that hadn't been touched for a whole year.The clear liquid is slowly flowing, and I wonder if my mind has changed.If I smell something different, then maybe I can still gain inner peace.I admit, at that moment I wished I could fall in love with Signus—

The scent of herbs, the smell of water, and the smell of old books.

I smelled exactly as I remembered it.

I suddenly want to cry.

When I returned to school again, everyone already knew about my engagement with Signus, and many people expressed their blessings. Naturally, no one would mention my crush on Severus again.After all, who hasn't had a time when he was young and ridiculous?People thought it was just a whim on my part, and I got back on track afterwards.

I am afraid that only I know that there is a piece missing in my heart.

I'm still taking Potions class, and Severus is still the brightest star in the class, but I've gradually lost the urge to compete; I'm still attending Slughorn's party as usual, only But this time I'm here with Signus on my arm, and Severus is no longer with Lily.

You see, the two lines may meet for a short time, but eventually they will part ways.Same with me and Severus, same with Severus and Lily.No one can escape, no one can win.Merlin was fair in the end, he didn't let me have Severus, and he didn't let Severus have Lily.Going round and round, none of us got out of this situation.

The only thing worth noting was that Severus was gradually gaining a place in the dark circle.The main reason is that the magical ability he has shown has reached the point where other people look sideways.It is still rumored that the reason he did this was because of Lily, who wanted her to find out that he was no worse than James Potter, even though Lily had become James' girlfriend.

My heart was getting numb, and I showed indifference to Severus' anecdotes, but when they wafted into my ears, I still felt an uncontrollable dull pain and slow heartbeat.I don't understand and am not reconciled. I am jealous and force myself to accept the reality at the same time.I tried to forget the breath floating in the glass bottle, but I couldn't deny my heart.

do i love himOr just a momentary curiosity?Or misunderstood pity?

I have questioned myself countless times in the dead of night, but I still can't get the answer.

That year, I graduated from Hogwarts with perfect grades.

That year, Signus and I were married in August.The guests present were all prominent figures.My father led me step by step to my signus, and put my hand in his.As we exchanged rings, I asked myself one last time: would you?

For a split second, I thought about pulling back and running away from this wedding.

But I'm not Sirius, and I don't have the guts to break free.

Nothing willing or not?I resigned to my fate.

The master of ceremonies announced that we were married, roses and lilies were falling in our hair, the groom was allowed to lift the veil and kiss the bride, the guests were cheering, the nightingales were singing, I heard the applause and cheers, I smelled what Signus said The scent of the perfume used and the sweetness of the wedding cake, I feel the warmth of the sun and the heaviness of the pearl tiara, I close my eyes, and the world returns to darkness.The summer flowers are blooming and the sun is scorching hot. The love of my life should stop here.