be gentle [comprehensive]

The things written in advance have been promised for the time being, because I went out this afternoon and got new insights, so let's write something.

It rained heavily in the morning, but fortunately the newly built road is not bad. After the rain stopped, I could go out by myself.

I rarely go out.

In other words, it has slowly changed from liking to get along with others (so-called friends such as Fa Xiao) to being a nerd.

Although I don't think it's a problem if I don't like to go out, but others, spread your hands...

The breeze blew up the corners of my clothes and I walked under the tree. I felt calm and in good condition.

It is rare, and every peace is rare for me.

I don't know, and I didn't expect anyone to know. When I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with severe depression and severe anxiety, I wasn't as hysterical as I thought.

All the energy before and all the energy after that have been spent on the so-called good things that happened to me.

I always remember that not long ago, when I found out that both of my hands were hurt, I even laughed.

Is writing a novel my dream?

--yes. ·

When I was little, I used to have the naive dream of "Since the reality is cruel, then I can give some warmth to those who feel indifferent in the novel~".

I don't want to talk about what happened, and I'm not writing my autobiography.

When it was confirmed that one of my hands would take a while to heal and the other might leave a legacy.

- I am very happy.

Because I feel, ah, I am liberated, I can be free, let myself go and die.

And then, did I do it?Um.

It's very easy, obviously you have worked hard for those years, there are so many mistakes, when you destroy it, no matter it is someone else or yourself, you can easily do it.

L noticed that my state was very wrong, and it was also my request to him.

"Deprive me of the emotions that affect me, even the memory, I don't want to let myself become what I hate." I said to him.

So, L did it.

I finally got my breather.

My memory is getting worse and worse, and the unforgettable things in my memory are finally blurred.

The one who said I like it, I'm sorry, I don't remember your phone number and phone number, don't worry, after a while, I will even blur the memory of your last birthday.

In recent years, I have lived my life in a mess.

It's been 17 years, but I feel like I'm still in 14 or 15 years.

Maybe I should thank those people, those who put the sunny me into the abyss of loneliness and fully understand my fate.

Thank them and leave after giving me a promise.Thank them for disappearing without a trace when I was in the dark and couldn't find a way out.

Thank you for letting me know how lucky I am to know my readers-turned-friends on such a dark day.

Ha ha……

Sorry, I haven't laughed like this for a long time.After all, when "hehe" still meant friendship and nothing else, it belonged to me in the past, and belonged to Ah Chen's exclusive gentle smile.

I'm a little sleepy, I have to get up early tomorrow, and I'm still busy at home, so let's speed up and not write so much, okay?

I said that I would go to find you, I went to the city where you are with a one-way ticket alone, where I did not meet you.There is no way, even if I arrive, I will have lost your accurate information long ago.

The girl who said she wanted me to write articles has been silent about my gender, my earliest and earliest readers, I have been silent for a long time, and said that she will always support me, you who call my name affectionately, who?Honey, you have deleted me for a long time.

Sorry, my gender is not what you want.There is no way, unless you have the magic power to separate me from them.

Off topic, forget it.

When I was walking on the road, I was thinking calmly.

Then I don't know who said a lot of things to me in my mind, and finally I woke up.

I am unique and there is nothing wrong with it. Even if there is one person who has exactly the same experience as me, our thoughts will not necessarily be the same.

There is nothing wrong with me being an ordinary one, I am also an ordinary human being, with all human strengths and weaknesses.It's like I will be partial to my readers, just like I will be jealous, jealous, sad, gentle, and indifferent.

I have been trying my best to be Leng Bingchen, but I feel that I am getting farther and farther away from that appearance, and instead my face has become blurred, which makes me hate it.

After experiencing severe depression.

I clearly and clearly recognize my flaws, maybe because I like to immerse myself in something, I have flaws that most people don't like.

I don't know how to please people, I don't know how to say nice things, I can see the darkness in your heart when you are close to me, but I am too lazy to pretend to be invisible to perfunctory.

My talent has been abused by me. Speaking of hard work, I used to work too hard, but now my body still needs maintenance.

God gave me some things and took away things that I might please some people.

I don't understand, really, don't embarrass me.

L may know a lot that I don't, and they also know, but they won't have someone to teach me, and no one will tell me.

I will silently write poems, songs, and novels for the people I like.

But I don't know what it is that you don't say.

I can carry you, hug you, and buy sanitary napkins for you.

But I don't know when you will secretly get along with others behind my back.

Well, yes.

The other party is very good, much better than me, a childish ghost who thinks he is mature.

Well, you like disappearing, like no audio.

I can only be silent.

Wait, L, am I digressing again.

I have made a plan, as long as you and I always love each other, even if you are an enemy of the world, even if you abandon everything, as long as you are there.

But later, I told my parents the news, but after you disappeared, I hit back and hit me completely.

Well, maybe I'm doing it wrong, not doing it well.

You laugh in the distance, I laugh at myself in depression.

Don't bother you, we are not even friends anymore.Maybe I won't mention you in the future, anyway, sooner or later, even if L doesn't erase my past memory, I will completely forget it myself.

I used to think that if I passed by a place with you and passed you by, I would smile and say "Hello" to you.

just now……

Sorry, I'm tired.

When I was in darkness, you left.

When I was insane, you were gone.

Then, we might not have the chance to meet each other.

So what if we meet again?

You were not there at that time, and now, I dare not love.

The author has something to say: Seeing the collection grow... I panic, it's really not fiction.

☆、Serious articles

I seem to be dreaming.

I'm also a little unsure.

"The bride is coming soon, and you're still enjoying yourself." A man jumped out from the side, grabbed my sleeve, and pushed me.

I looked at her blankly, not understanding the situation yet.

bride?

Could it be that I broke into someone's wedding scene?

"When the auspicious time comes, the bride's sedan chair will come right away."

Someone outside shouted, and the quiet environment instantly became chaotic and lively.

In the dark night, with bright red lanterns, people standing on both sides, including men, women, old people and children, all with happy smiles, looked not far in front of me.

The festive music of Chuichuidada came, and I also saw my environment clearly.

I was wearing a bright red wedding gown, and I looked like I was about to get married. There were black seats in the lobby behind me, and the red Chinese characters of "囍" made my eyes hurt, and the candles of "Longfeng Chengxiang" were also lit.

Should the candle be lit now?Who am I going to marry?

Before I could think it over, the person standing behind me became excited.

"Hurry up and pick up the sedan chair."

They pushed me forward in a stream.

"He is blessed. He is married to a well-known beauty."

He or she?The people in their mouths seem to be referring to me.

"The sedan chair is here, the sedan chair is here."

A few children shouted and ran over from the outside. Hearing that people's discussions became more lively, they forced their way out of the crowd and came to me.

Up to now, I still feel like a dream, I haven't figured out my situation, but I want to catch the ducks on the shelves and marry a bride.

That being said, it's weird.

Am I really not in a dream?

The music that was blowing stopped suddenly, and my heart skipped a beat.

Less than 50 meters away from me, the big red sedan chair was being slowly lifted up.

"Let's be silly, go, it's the red leaf you've been thinking about sitting inside."

I moved my ears and remembered the name.

Red leaves, red leaves?

I always feel that this name is a bit familiar. Have I heard it somewhere?

Unconsciously repeating some familiar names in my heart, there seemed to be a large red maple leaf in front of my eyes, and there was a stunning woman smiling at me in the red leaf forest.

female ghost?

The female ghost Hongye?Female ghost Hongye, no, this is wrong, it shouldn't be a female ghost.

It was the ghost girl Hongye.

"Ghost girl Hongye." I read these four words silently, and all the confusion and fog seemed to be blown away instantly.

I told me rationally and clearly that the stunning beauty sitting in the bridal sedan chair and I was going to marry was the ghost girl Hongye I was talking about.

She may have been a human being during her lifetime, but she has already become a ghost girl after death.

The most important thing is that she is my bride. My instinct tells me that if I leave with my sleeves, I may regret it in the future.

I stared at the big red sedan chair in a daze, watching it staggeringly walking towards me step by step.

When the sedan chair landed, everything was quiet.

No one urged me, but I walked over slowly as if I had understood something, bent down, raised the car curtain, and stood beside the sedan chair.

I couldn't see anything around me.

I only vaguely remember that there was no light in the night, and the conspicuous colors of the red lanterns and red sedan chair painted a ray of light in the darkness.

A hand was stretched out, and I immediately supported her.

It's so soft, so white, it feels as tender and boneless as a newly grown leaf.

Then, a beautiful woman walked out of the sedan chair in a wedding dress.

She didn't hide it, her black hair was like a waterfall, her beauty was extraordinary, and she looked at me with a pair of beautiful eyes.

"Are you going to marry me?" She covered her lips and asked me.

"Yes." I looked at her.

"You can't regret it after paying homage." She raised the corners of her eyes and smiled, as if she was joking.

"Then don't make me regret it." I stood opposite and looked at her.

Hongye seemed to be pleased by what I said, she spread her arms, spinning like a dexterous maple leaf.

I stretched out my hand naturally, and caught the red leaf that fell lightly into my arms after spinning.

"I will marry you, no matter you are a female ghost or a female ghost, you are my Hongye."

"In the maple leaf season, the lanterns are hung high, in the red leaf forest, you and I will pay homage to each other."

"After today, you will be my wife—ghost girl Hongye."

Holding the red leaves, I walked step by step towards the auditorium burning with dragon and phoenix candles. All the noise around me seemed to disappear without a trace, and even the crowds watching the excitement on both sides of the road faded away slowly, turning into a forest of trees. with.

I didn't look back, didn't hesitate, I just held the ghost girl Hongye in my arms who would become my wife, and walked forward steadily.

Even though I knew in my heart that whether it was the bridal sedan chair I was sitting in when the red leaves came from behind me, or the crowded spectators pushing and shoving, they all turned into blurred darkness the moment I picked up the red leaves.

But I always feel that the person in my arms is more important than the truth I perceive.

"My wife—Hongye."

The author has something to say: the source of inspiration, after I had a dream about Hongye, I got the ghost girl Hongye for the first time.

Tsk, let me solemnly say, Hongye is my wife.

☆, depression