It is clear

The night at this juncture was quiet, Xu Yan stood blankly for a long time, never felt that his brain would be so dull, as if all his thoughts were fleeing together, he had become a blank person.

The time may be passing, but he felt that it was extremely long. He heard the sound of "ding" from the microwave oven, and Tan Yu made a cup of hot cocoa in the kitchen.

It turned out that it took less than 2 minutes to go home, Xu Yan thought leisurely, he took the cocoa, and saw the ring put on the table by the master.

Is this Tan Yu?It seemed that, even at this moment, it was still possible to guess that when he came home, there was hot cocoa.

But it wasn't hot cocoa he needed.

Xu Yan pulled out the chair and sat down, clutching the ring in his palm: "Speak."

"Teacher Xu..." Tan Yu spoke in a moderate voice, neither fast nor slow, as if he had practiced many times, "I have a new work plan in early June. The first stop is South Africa. I will be a wildlife ranger. It is a challenging and rewarding job.”

Now it's the first few days of May, Xu Yan said "hmm": "And then?"

"I have prepared for this job for a long time, learning Spanish, systematically studying animal protection, and doing physical training..."

Xu Yan interrupted him: "I started French recently, didn't I?"

This question is easy to answer, Tan Yu nodded his head: "Mr. Xu, you know, this matter has been going on since we met. I have never known how to open it. Now I have to say, if you choose to break up ..."

Xu Yan endured it from the first word he said, stood up abruptly, and took a step forward, "This is not about you alone, you know, you knew it from the beginning! You want me to say continue Are you together? Do you want me to say breakup?"

"The choice is yours, Teacher Xu."

Fuck the right to choose, Xu Yan wanted to throw away the ring wrapped in the palm of his hand, but he raised his hand and couldn't bear it...

Said it was anger, but there was also grievance, even powerlessness: "I really want to break up with you now, but I know I can't, you are not a character who can break up because of mistakes."

"You can't treat me like this, and our relationship like this..."

Tan Yu froze for a moment, and paused in the air with his outstretched hand.Some strange feeling came over him suddenly, making his honesty hot at the moment, burning everything inside him along the way.

——Xu Yan knew, Xu Yan understood what he meant.

"I'm sorry." Tan Yu took another step forward without making any unnecessary movements, and stopped at the safest distance for them at the moment, "Xu Yan, I'm sorry. I'm not forcing you, I just used another I did it the wrong way... I..."

"Yeah, you know I can understand you." Xu Yan turned around and still didn't look at him, his eyes didn't know where to fall, "I can say break up, you leave me lightly. I can also say stay together, yours The goal has been achieved. You have calculated thousands of times, have you calculated that I will never break up with you? Do you take my heart, even for a second, just for a second! Do you take my heart seriously?"

"Tan Yu, you gave me the right to choose, but I can't see any other option than not breaking up. You are so generous, can you teach me how to choose!"

Xu Yan couldn't continue and turned his back.

From Tan Yu's point of view, his shoulders twitched obviously, because he was crying.He took a few steps forward, trying to reach out and grab him.

"Don't touch me." Xu Yan put his hands behind his back like a child, obviously avoiding, "You can't blackmail me with your frankness."

Not only was Tan Yu emptied, he felt that Xu Yan was also emptied.

He did a very wrong thing, he was a little at a loss, he still stood upright, but even the shadow could show his collapse.

He didn't want to care about anything anymore, and he hugged Xu Yan with a firm but gentle gesture.He caressed Xu Yan's back, and he didn't lift his hand that he usually took advantage of the trend, which made his own back feel cold.

Xu Yan once told him that it doesn't matter if he is too tired or too hard, as long as he can do everything according to his heart, everything will be supported by Teacher Xu.

Not just this one sentence, Xu Yan said too much, every sentence was supporting him, and every sentence was also filling up his courage and confidence for his vanity.He happened to forget that Mr. Xu is such a smart person, no need to say, no need to read, Mr. Xu understands everything.

He didn't hold her for too long, and quickly backed away: "Mr. Xu, I did something wrong, it's my fault."

This time Xu Yan didn't hide, he sighed: "You make me feel let down, you don't believe in me, and you don't believe in yourself."

He glanced at Tan Yu, and the other person's face was reflected under the neon lights outside the window, very much like the Tan Yu who was standing in the grotesque and still charming when they met for the second time.At that time, his beauty was still far away, and people were also far away. It could kill people, and it attracted him to keep coming closer.

Even now, he still couldn't say that it would be better to stop at the original distance.

It was only three days after the opening of the friendship exhibition. To his surprise, Xu Yan found that he had no emotions to deal with. He worked as usual, searched for inspiration as usual, and stood on the red carpet for the opening as usual.

There are many artists in this place, and from time to time, the authors can be found on the title pages of various books from Sanmi.It was raining, but there were still many umbrellas that were opened and closed, and they were full of umbrellas.

Xu Yan was about to make a simple speech. He stood on the stage and looked at Yan Xueke who was staring at him, his expression changed.

It is estimated that his condition is really bad, Yan Xueke can tell the difference at a glance.He didn't look at the specific person anymore, adjusted the microphone, chose a common "Hello everyone" and began to speak: "I am Xu Yan, I have just become a little famous, I have written a few words that are not bad, and I have taught a few words. Student, I have sold a lot of couplets. It seems that I have done a lot of useless work before standing here, but after taking stock of the past, none of them are for nothing..."

Without intending to say too much, Xu Yan soon turned off the microphone.

He had already reached the edge of the exhibition board, and saw a short hand raised in the crowd, and the owner of the hand screamed heartbreakingly: "Teacher Xu! I want to ask you!"

It was a little fat man with suspicious biscuit crumbs on the corner of his mouth, and he asked him in a calm manner what he thought of inspiration and experience.

Xu Yan took off the microphone and returned to the edge of the display board: "Experience makes you not very bad, and inspiration can make people ignore your shortcomings. There is no pure experience, nor a single inspiration."

"What about 'Ming'? What does 'Ming' look like?"

"'Ming' is 'I'." Xu Yan returned to the center of the open space, holding the microphone stand and said seriously, "When I created 'Ming', I just saw something clearly, and my lover also suffered a lot. Tricky and difficult, I think 'Ming' is hope, but also reflection."

The little fat man took an inch and said, "Then tell me about your lover."

The unresolved lover, Xu Yan smiled at him and said: "He prompted me to create the word 'Ming'. Before that, he was the one who allowed me to pick up the brush of 'I'. Gentle, sincere, rational, A very precious person."

The crowd applauded for a moment, Xu Yan answered a few more questions, and then walked out from the center of everyone's sight.

"What's wrong? Is it Tan Yu?" Yan Xueke stopped him and asked.

Xu Yan sniffed, not crying, but just caught a cold: "Even if you are friends, the questioning session is over."

That's [-]% yes, Yan Xueke rolled up his sleeves and looked around, as if he was at a loss after punching the sky.He put down his sleeve resentfully: "Want to drink?"

San Mi hid a lot of good taverns, the two walked around casually and found one.

Yan Xueke got in first, saw a barbecue next door, and went to order a few appetizers, then sat down more preoccupied than the person involved: "What's wrong?"

If he really wanted to talk about it, he had nothing to say, Xu Yan remained silent, took out the ring and put it on the table.

When he first put on this ring, he was still on tour, and besides acquaintances, there were also many staff who came and went frequently.Acquaintances often joke and ask him to invite him to dinner; nodding acquaintances are more solemn, and they will always say congratulations to him.

During that time, I don’t know how many strange voices said congratulations, which often made him pinch a little sweetness between the sourness of missing.

This bit of sweetness is really nothing at present.

Xu Yan thought for many days alone, sometimes he could calm down, but sometimes he could only let the anger go straight to the top of his head.He put the ring back in his trouser pocket, and sent Tan Yu a WeChat message: What were you thinking when you put the ring on me?

It was originally a question, but it seemed limp because of the complete punctuation marks. He deleted and changed it, changed it and deleted it, and still posted the original appearance.

Tan Yu was boxing with Gao Mengjiu when he received the news, and the injury on his cheekbone "accidentally" cracked again, making his face look a bit miserable.However, compared to his miserable appearance, the depression exuding from his body is more obvious.

He didn't dare to take the initiative to contact Xu Yan, knowing what he should say, but he couldn't say it.Nothing to do with self-esteem, still not believing in yourself.

Up to now, Xu Yan has not given up, on the contrary, he has given up on his own initiative.

Teacher Xu can't see any options other than staying together, just as he can only see the only option that he is not worthy of.He is not worthy of Xu Yan's persistence, nor can he bear the pain of Teacher Xu's anger.

One that is not worth it makes him lose all desire to fight.

Gao Mengjiu also heard the reminder and got off the ring first.

Tan Yu stood for a long while, and slowly took off his gloves.The first time the face recognition was unsuccessful, he was still a little lucky, and after a few seconds of delay, he finally saw Xu Yan's message.

The question looks very peaceful, and if people who have nothing to do with it look at it, they may think it is a loving question between lovers.

Tan Yu watched for a few more seconds, his heart was affected by emotions, and all functions did not stop, but it was terribly uncomfortable.His Teacher Xu could let go of everything, but he was the only one who picked him up.

Compared with the blankness just now, the heart at this moment is truly at a standstill.Every blood vessel is full of dutiful blood, but it seems to be blocked outside the heart, the inside cannot get out, and the outside cannot enter.

Really screwed everything up.

Tan Yu stood on the balance many times, no matter how high or low he stood, he was almost always the one who was given up.

No one, regardless of the deception behind his honesty or his value, just because he loves him, angry, dissatisfied, sad, squeezed by so many negative emotions, still refuses to choose the easier option.

This message was read by Tan Yu several times, from clear to gradually blurred.

He didn't think about covering it up, and wiped off the tears when they fell on the screen, until he couldn't write clearly on the back of his hand, he still wanted to catch Xu Yan's sincerity that had nowhere to rest.