[Hokage] On those lives that are open and hanging

It's like the same tree, the leaves on the tree have fallen, and even if a leaf grows on the same branch and the same position in the next year, it can no longer be said that it is the original one.

It never occurred to him that he could wake up again, but he didn't think it was a good thing.

The brain seems to have been formatted again, but then carefully reinstalled.His memory is intact - he remembered his name Zuo Fan, his past experience, and those close to him... But he didn't feel much about these memories.He is like an indifferent bystander, unable to feel those feelings of happiness or sadness.All that can be experienced is the crazy emptiness and desolation that the whole world has forgotten—because he is still surrounded by them.

In front of his eyes was a darkness that seemed to swallow everything, as if he was at the bottom of a boundless abyss. This was probably a place where gods would not even bother to come. Naturally, no god would say "Let there be light."

The frantic despair that I remembered seemed to well up in my heart at this time.

Zuo Fan settled down, although he always felt that Zuo Fan's life was like someone else's - no, it should be said that he always felt that he was not Zuo Fan, he didn't know who he should be, and he didn't know "Zuo Fan" "Where did you go again.He has no way to ask, let alone confirm.So he is still Zuo Fan, otherwise who could he be?

He shook hands, a slight touch but not a strong one, and nothing else.It seems to be floating out of thin air and falling infinitely in a place without the slightest force.

Zuo Fan is more inclined to the second one, which is a kind of spiritual weightlessness.In memory, he can at least look at the scenery, those various colors.But now there is nothing, and only the darkness is with him. After getting used to it a little bit, he doesn't feel too difficult. Maybe it's because he has gone crazy once and finally has some antibodies, or it's just not the time yet.

Darkness can always trigger people's fear. At this time, imagination is the scariest thing.This is just the beginning, Zuo Fan thought, maybe he will go crazy faster this time.

But he doesn't want to be crazy anymore, he remembers how he acted at that time, even if he can't remember how he felt at the time.But having been insane once, he understands that being insane doesn't make him feel better, and it won't get him out of this situation. If he loses his sanity, all he can really do is despair.

He can only have hope if he works hard to be awake, bears these loneliness and fears, and looks forward to getting out of this state or sleeping forever in the future.

He comforted himself: As long as it doesn't dissipate completely, he won't lose hope, even if eternal sleep will make him feel better, but in this case, all he can do is try his best to stay awake.

In order to maintain his sobriety, Zuo Fan recalled the memory of "Zuo Fan" over and over again to pass his time.I don't know how long it has passed, but for Zuo Fan, time lost its meaning again.

Until Zuo Fan suddenly thought that by maintaining this state all the time, he might have lost a slim chance. He should have known that the gods would not favor him, and it is really stupid to wait and see.

So Zuo Fan tried to control his body, ah, he is already dead, it should be said to be a soul body.Without a sense of touch, he put his left foot and right foot in line, and made every step as precise as possible so that he could walk out in a straight line.He didn't know where he was going—maybe it was a straight line going down, and as he walked, he could only go lower and lower.

But so what?He was just looking for a reason for himself that could keep him going.

Zuo Fan walked for a long time, so long that he had forgotten to walk in a straight line.He counted his steps, but he couldn't remember how many times he counted, and he also forgot how many times he counted each time, because the last numbers were too long, and he didn't want to feel the sense of despair that every time he read a unit, he would get one more point , so start counting again, like a miser counting his fortune over and over again.

In a mess of thoughts, he controlled his movements, his mind was already chaotic, unable to support careful thinking, madness and hysteria tore his sanity, and made him unable to bear the wild thoughts.He found something to do for himself—precisely controlling every angle, moonwalking when he felt the urge to do so, until the messy lunatic chaos gradually became regular.It was as if he was performing for himself, and gradually, he became somewhat self-satisfied, as if he was the master of this empty darkness.

Zuo Fan wondered if he was crazy again, but he also thought that if he still had the ability to think, it at least showed that he was not completely crazy yet.

Until he didn't know when, he felt his soul body being touched, Zuo Fan was in a daze, at a loss, stretched out his hand forward, and moved slowly, as if he was afraid of being hurt.

His hands were quickly wrapped, and then his whole body was surrounded.The surrounding area is full of warm feeling, like soaking in water of moderate temperature, but the surrounding objects are not as dense as water.It is thin and thin, and has a texture.

Zuo Fan felt that he was already in the clouds, trapped in a warm cloud, soaked in the thin silk like smoke.It's like a dream, it doesn't feel real at all, but it's so real, gentle and warm.Is he dreaming?He couldn't see anything else, couldn't tell the time, maybe it was daytime.

Zuo Fan felt his mind was exhausted for a while, the feeling of drowsiness was so strong, as if he would never wake up again after falling asleep, but he still let go of his thoughts and let himself be immersed.Death was no longer a fear to him, but a redemption, and he looked forward to welcoming it.

Zuo Fan vaguely felt the surrounding mist-like things pouring into his body, and they flowed in a certain order.Zuo Fan memorized the running trajectories, and subconsciously controlled their circulation in the body.

When Zuo Fan woke up again, the fog-like things around him were gone, as if it was just his dream.Zuo Fan shook hands, only to feel that his soul body had solidified a lot, and it was no longer light to the touch, but had a texture, which made him clear that it was not a fantasy before.

Bold assumptions, careful verification.And all he can do now is to assume this step.

Zuo Fan thought of the martial arts novels he had read, in which the protagonists were always able to save themselves in any difficult situation.

The ancients said that when the heavens are about to send a great mission to people, they must first suffer from their will, exhaust their muscles and bones, starve their skin, empty their bodies, and disturb their actions.

Because he is already dead, without a body, naturally he does not need to eat or drink, and his muscles and bones will not be tired.But as a person who has gone crazy once, he has definitely achieved it by suffering his will and chaotic behavior.

According to the protagonist's law that his friend Xiang Tao said in his previous life: many disasters, continuous setbacks, strange experiences, and survival in catastrophe... Now that I think about it carefully, he seems to be quite suitable, maybe he is the protagonist?His current experience may be a book or a movie like the deduction about the inside and outside of the box in a novel he once read?

Zuo Fan smiled, so what?He was undoubtedly real, and so was his experience, and he couldn't get answers by dwelling on them without a little help.

After all, he didn't really sleep forever, suppressing the disappointment and bitterness in his heart.

Zuo Fan cheered up and thought: In fact, he can cultivate. The human soul may be just a kind of energy in the final analysis. As for why he is so special-naturally because he has his unique features, what he is of course not knew.But this does not prevent him from guessing that the smoke-like thing may be a kind of energy, since he is a soul, he should name it soul power.

He tried to operate the soul power according to the previous trajectory of the soul power in his body, but at first he couldn't get the point, and later he successfully operated it under his research.It still feels so warm, so comfortable that people want to sigh, and he can maintain this state even if it is of no use.

Gradually Zuo Fan felt that his soul body became more and more solid, and later even had a body-like texture.

Zuo Fan felt that he was in good spirits, his mind was high, he comforted himself, he had to believe that the future was bright, the revolution had not yet succeeded, he had to work harder in cultivation, maybe he would be able to go out after cultivation was successful.Even if this possibility is unlikely, he can always use it to comfort himself. If he does not maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, he is really afraid that he will be as psychopathic as the guy who forgot whether he was trapped in a bottle or a lamp. Focus on newspapers.

He danced a passionate little tango in the darkness. How can he say that in his previous life, he was also a good-natured young man with good roots. Even if he is a little bit collapsed because of his lack of memory, he doesn't want to really transform into a pervert.

Zuo Fan's life has become more fulfilling, it seems that his soul and body have been solidified, and even his will has become much stronger - he seldom feels despair.Loneliness is already his partner, and he has long been used to it.

In this dark and empty place, he imagined himself as the king of darkness.But it is no longer insanity-like cranky thinking, but the self-mockery of a lost lonely guest, and perhaps a little arrogance of being sober alone in thousands of loneliness-he thinks he has reason to be proud of his strength.

His consciousness is clearer and more organized.The darkness and the unknown can no longer bother him too much.He walks in the same direction comfortably and calmly, he thinks he can face the future calmly, no matter what it brings him is luck or another trick of fate.

Zuo Fan was walking in this boundless space, but his state of mind was completely different at this time. He really got used to it, and his heart was like still water.

I think of a sentence I read before my death: a blind person, whether he lives in darkness or in the fragrance of birds and flowers, it all depends on himself.Perhaps not so apt, since there are no birds or flowers here, but the point of view of attitude is applicable.

And compared to a truly blind person, he at least knows what the world looks like, and those beautiful or gorgeous scenery are all stored in his mind.

Where in the world is there a truly hopeless situation?To live is to hope, and some are just people who are desperate for their situation.

Zuo Fan kept walking until he was blocked by something, which was a thick barrier.Zuo Fan stepped forward and stepped into it, feeling a heavy squeeze, Zuo Fan seemed to have a premonition of something.He still longed for the light, so he let it go and hoped.

When the whole body was suddenly empty, Zuo Fan felt that he was falling, and the speed was so fast, as if to tear him into pieces, he felt the long-lost pain.Standing naked like a polar glacier, the fierce wind howled like a knife on his body.

At the same time, his mind became confused and he lost control of his soul.A little fear suddenly arose in my heart, but I only vaguely felt that he seemed to have stopped falling, but he had already lost consciousness.

The author has something to say:

This is my first novel, and I have only published short stories of [-] words on learning and communication software before.I planned to write it before, but I only listed the outline. Now that the college entrance examination is over, I plan to write this article seriously, but as a novice, my writing speed is too slow. This article is going to be comprehensive, and the setting is quite long. The key is that each roll is still too slow.So I still plan to save the manuscript first, so as not to delay the update, and I will be very sorry for making the cuties wait anxiously.

I know there are many flaws in my writing, you can tell me so that I can correct my shortcomings.

I went back and edited the article. After all, I wrote it myself, and I can’t read it with the eyes of a pure reader. I just tried my best to edit the procrastination. I hope you can read it more pleasing to the eye.