What is it like to be teased by a ghost?

"Have you ever liked someone? Maybe it's not that deep, and it's not a matter of life or death, but it's the first throbbing in your life. It's like a precious gem in a filthy life, making you dare not take it easy. To show people, but also worry about gains and losses."

Fu Xianyu stood in front of Luo Jiang and asked softly.

Luo Jiang shook her head. She had never liked anyone in the past few years when she was growing up, and she didn't understand the feeling Fu Xianyu said, "So, is it because of this that you have been following Gu Yuntian?"

Fu Xianyu was wearing the school uniform before her death, she showed her eyes covered by bangs, glanced greedily at Gu Yuntian on the side, and then smiled, "I don't want to be with her, I just think I still have a lot to say Tell her."

After finishing speaking, Fu Xianyu stretched out her left hand to Luo Jiang, "Would you like to hear my story?"

She knew that Luo Jiang was here to help Gu Yuntian, but she couldn't completely expose her affairs to Gu Yuntian.Maybe through other people's mouths, such stories will not be so naked and cruel.

Luo Jiang wanted to reach out, but Wei Linqiang stopped her, "Be careful, she is a ghost after all."

A trace of disappointment appeared on Fu Xianyu's face, "It's okay."

Luo Jiang didn't take it seriously, and grabbed Fu Xianyu's hand before she let it go, and then she said to the two sisters of the Gu family beside her: "Next, no matter what happens to me, don't panic."

Gu Leyan and Gu Yuntian nodded repeatedly. Although they couldn't see Fu Xianyu, the way Luo Jiang spoke to the air just now made them feel that the room was unusual.

Gu Yuntian looked opposite Luo Jiang, her palms sweating slightly, she knew that Fu Xianyu was opposite Luo Jiang, she really wanted to say something to her, but she didn't know how to say it, her eyes were eager and confused.

Although Luo Jiang had a cinnabar mole, Wei Linqiang was still a little worried. She held Luo Jiang's other hand, "I will follow you. If you are in any danger, I will protect you."

Luo Jiang looked at Wei Linqiang's serious expression and did not refuse.

Seeing that the two of them were ready, Fu Xianyu closed her eyes, and her whole body was full of yin.

Then, Luo Jiang felt that when the scene changed, she and Wei Linqiang went to another place.

This place is like a school, and it is very lively. Luo Jiang and Wei Linqiang are standing at the gate of the school, and many students and parents around are coming and going with big bags and small bags, but these people can't see the two of them, Luo Jiang has a feeling The feeling of watching a movie in a four-dimensional world.

"This school is very impressive. Unexpectedly, my children can also be admitted to high school."

"Spend so much money every year, can't you be proud? Why do girls read so many books? It's better to go out to work early and subsidize the family."

"It's not bad to be able to go to high school. It will bring honor to the family. You see, her brother from the second uncle's family can't pass the exam. You women are short-sighted."

"What's short-sighted? I don't want to get married in the future. I cook at home every day. What's the use of the books I read. If I live up to my stomach and have a son, I won't use my daughter to discredit me. Don't think that I I didn't hear what your elder brother said to you when he was drunk the night before."

The lively voices around were suddenly turned down, and then Wei Linqiang saw Fu Xianyu's family of three. Wei Linqiang pulled Luo Jiang and motioned Luo Jiang to look in Fu Xianyu's direction.

[It's so annoying, I really hate this house. 】

Fu Xianyu's parents were still arguing. She was carrying her schoolbag and said nothing, with no expression on her face.

Because Luo Jiang and Wei Linqiang were in Fu Xianyu's memory, they could hear Fu Xianyu's heartfelt voice.

Then, Luo Jiang and Wei Linqiang followed Fu Xianyu, watching her sign up, find a house, and then go to the new class.

"What a broken school, there is not even enough student dormitory, and you have to go out to rent a house, which is really expensive. Oh, these girls in big cities really don't know how to behave, who are you seduced by wearing so little, Xiaoyu, let me tell you, you can Don't imitate, our family can't compete with the people in the city."

"understood."

Fu Xianyu seemed to be lacking in interest throughout the entire enrollment period, but school was the only place she could breathe. She no longer had to listen to her mother's nagging. Her mother had branded her since she was born. She often I heard her mother and the three aunts and eight aunts who came to the house discuss her in a tone of asking for a price.

Before leaving, her father secretly stuffed her with hundreds of dollars and told her to study hard, and she finally showed a smile.

And her mother would only complain about her father's decision: "I gave birth to you with your father when you were your age. What kind of books do girls read? The belly is not used to hold ink, but to give birth to a son."There are too many books, and there are too many fallacies. Which mother-in-law likes a sour daughter-in-law, and she is full of truth. '

She thought her mother spoke like a factory labeler, scarring her body with every word.Her mother is also willing to be a matchmaker. If the children stop studying, they will enthusiastically introduce partners to others. It is not for money or fame, but in her eyes, once boys and girls do not study, getting married is like a marriage. It's a matter of course, so Fu Xianyu's mother hates reading and the truth. She is proud of marrying when she was a teenager.

Fu Xianyu is very world-weary, she hates her identity as a girl, but at the same time she is also very cowardly, she has no ability to refute her mother, because she always says that she gave birth to her and raised her, if she contradicts her, she will You will get a lot of disapproving looks.Slowly, Fu Xianyu could only grow her bangs long to cover her emotions.

On the first day of school, the head teacher specially arranged a class meeting to let the students get acquainted as soon as possible. The main content of the class meeting was self-introduction. Gu Yuntian was the first to go up. At this stinking age, she cut her hair like a boy It's so short, which makes her seem to have a kind of independent self-confidence, which immediately attracted Fu Xianyu.

"My name is Gu Yuntian, because my father is a calligrapher and my grandfather is a university professor, so my mother gave me a name with a strong book smell, but don't look at me because I am very thin, I am very strong, and everyone needs help in the future Do hard work, you can find me."

A white shirt, hair flying in the wind, and a shy smile.

This is the first encounter between the two.

Gu Yuntian's humorous self-introduction won her good popularity. Many people want to be friends with her. Fu Xianyu is very envious. She thinks that Gu Yuntian must be a child of a good family, so she can be so calm, unlike herself, saying Every sentence carries a sense of distance that rejects people thousands of miles away.

Fu Xianyu began to care about Gu Yuntian unconsciously. She was the kind of person Fu Xianyu wanted to be but couldn't. Xianyu is very inferior. Her inferiority complex has been accumulated by her mother's oppression since she was a child. Her mother's attitude of being weak, cleverly packaged her values ​​into a false happiness, and invaded Fu Xianyu's bones little by little.She subconsciously felt that she was just a hillbilly from the countryside, and she could only spend her whole life with sweaty men in the future, and she didn't need to share this kind of self and life with anyone, including Gu Yuntian.

Then, the scene changed.Arrived at the room Fu Xianyu rented.

[Do you know the swamp?At first, you just stepped on a puddle of soft mud, and then it was like being entangled by a man-eating devil, from your ankles to your thighs, then to your body and head, sinking down bit by bit, the boundless darkness slowly engulfed you, you struggled , Shouting, clumsily pulling his hands to try to escape but all in vain. 】

At this moment, Fu Xianyu was lying on the bed half-lounged, with a gloomy expression, like a rag doll, staring motionlessly at the multicolored silk threads on her desk.

Gu Yuntian likes to do handwork, and she is good at knitting bracelets. Girls who are close to her basically have one.An hour ago, Fu Xianyu happily went to the boutique to pick out colorful silk threads for research, but as soon as she got home, the landlord broke in and raped her.

Fu Xianyu didn't know what she did wrong. After thinking for a long time, she felt that the matter should have planted the seeds from the beginning, broke the ground and germinated, and then destroyed her.

On the first day her mother brought her to rent a house, the landlord Ma Zhi looked at her inside and out like an X-ray. He had seen this kind of girl a lot, with low self-esteem and timidity, poor family conditions, traditional parents, So it doesn't matter if something happens.

The adult's lustful gaze was a bit frivolous, like a big hand getting in from Fu Xianyu's pants, inspecting her body, what did she say at that time, oh yes, she said: "Do you want to?" Look at another place. '

The place didn't change, what I got in exchange was only scolding from my mother, scolding her for not knowing what to do and being extravagant.

Then, this person stomped a little bit, took the spare key, and broke into Fu Xianyu's room and her body with a stink all over her body. She cried desperately for mercy, but the other party didn't even He ignored it, but took this crying as a kind of stimulant. Panting heavily, he roughly tore off Fu Xianyu's clothes, slapped Fu Xianyu's face one by one, forcing her to call chuang.

"You women are born coquettish, and you will never be able to leave me in the future."

First pain, then humiliation, she was like a dead body thrown in a cesspool, her body began to rot, maggots grew, and overwhelming smelly water flowed out from every pore, dirtying the sheets, the air, and even the room.

Finally, the tears dried up, and the body gradually became numb and could not feel the pain. Only the colorful silk thread was dazzling. Fu Xianyu lay down for three hours before walking to the bathroom with trembling legs and scrubbing herself over and over again. body of.

Seeing this scene, Luo Jiang trembled with anger, holding Wei Linqiang's hand tighter and tighter. She wanted to rush over to pull the man away, smash his face and head with a stool, but she knew she couldn't , This is what has happened, she is just a spectator, she can't do anything, so she can only watch Ma Zhi use that ugly thing, one after another, to destroy a girl like a flower.

Looking at Luo Jiang's staring red eyes, Wei Linqiang sighed and temporarily covered her eyes with the other hand.

Then, the scene changed again, to the library.

After this incident, Fu Xianyu became even more silent. Ma Zhi seemed to recognize that she was a timid girl, took pictures of her and threatened her not to call the police, and then would come to Fu Xianyu's room every now and then to torture her , She doesn't want to stay at home, and she doesn't want to stay in the classroom, the classroom is such a sacred place, full of so many young smiling faces and vigor, she feels that she is too dirty and disgusting.The house is full of dirty memories, sheets, quilt covers, even a speck of dust can arouse her fear.The only place she likes is the library, because there are few people and quiet here, and there are ancient charms.

Gu Yuntian also likes such a quiet atmosphere. She often comes to the library to read handmade magazines.

Gu Yuntian read it very seriously and focused, so focused that he automatically blurred everything around him. At this time, Fu Xianyu would pretend to hold a book and sit opposite her, staring at her obsessively while smiling silently , only this little space is her light, which can melt all her unhappiness and inject a little comfort into her life.

Then she would leave before Gu Yuntian left the library, without letting the other party find out, and without giving the other party a chance to say hello. From the first year of high school to the third year of high school, she watched her silently for three years. Gu Yuntian lent her the umbrella It also made her happy for three years.

Fresh and clean, like a camellia flower in full bloom, an inexplicable feeling bloomed in my rotten heart.

When returning the umbrella, Fu Xianyu didn't tell Gu Yuntian. She carefully dried the umbrella, tied it up, and put it in Gu Yuntian's desk when there was no one in the classroom. He took a red bracelet from Gu Yuntian's cabinet.

It should be given to some friend, she thought.Even though this behavior was absurd, she still tied the rope around her wrist, and then hid it carefully with the sleeve of her school uniform.

After all, a classmate in the class found out about Fu Xianyu's matter. When a girl in the class saw Fu Xianyu and Ma Zhi shopping together, Ma Zhi pinched Fu Xianyu's ass.

Ma Zhi likes to insult/humiliate Fu Xianyu, not only physically, but also spiritually. In order to avoid being humiliated by Ma Zhiling/humiliating, she began to scratch the inner side of her arm with a knife, drip blood on the sanitary napkin, and deceive the other party herself Menstruation, but such a trick was quickly seen through by Ma Zhi, so he became more blatant and refused to let Fu Xianyu wear underwear to accompany him to go shopping, and put his hand into her skirt where there was a camera.Ma Zhi said, this is punishment. Fu Xianyu didn't know what she did wrong to be punished. She only knew that she hated men's bodies. She would run away screaming when she was touched by strangers, but she couldn't. Ma Zhi, because Ma Zhi threatened her to ruin her reputation.

The girl who saw this scene was very gossip, and asked Fu Xianyu in the classroom after an evening self-study if that was her boyfriend.

Fu Xianyu was so frightened that she couldn't speak. She was afraid that her dirty secret would be found out. Seeing that Fu Xianyu hadn't spoken, the girl pushed her. She was absent-minded about her schoolbag, but when she was pushed like this, the schoolbag slipped and the contraceptive pills scattered all over the floor.

Seeing this scene, the girl's gaze became even more subtle. Girls in high school are not ignorant, and the bright brand name immediately reminds people of a certain contraceptive pill that is advertised on TV every day.

Seeing that she couldn't deny it, Fu Xianyu just yelled loudly, "Yes, that's my boyfriend, what's the matter? I just like him, I just love him, can you control me?"

Yes, she loves him. As long as it is love, it can cover up this kind of humiliation, put her in the clothes of love, and take all the embarrassment for granted.This is what she told the people in the classroom. She pretended to be a girl who dared to love and hate, and pretended not to care, but her face was full of sadness.

When Fu Xianyu left, she glanced in Gu Yuntian's direction, and found that the other party's face was full of disappointment.This kind of disappointment is a silent reproach, from Fu Xianyu's skin to her flesh and blood, she seemed to hear Gu Yuntian say: "You are so dirty, you are disgusting, I didn't expect you to be such a person, with you Shame on Ben."

Then Fu Xianyu collapsed, her mind was full of Gu Yuntian's disappointed expression.

She couldn't stand the torture anymore, and she began to want to escape and seek comfort, so she found a car to go home that night.

In the torrential rain, she was covered in mud, and she opened the door.My father was still watching TV, and my mother urged my father to go to bed quickly.Before she could speak, she started crying.

Fu Xianyu's parents were stunned and even asked her what's wrong?She wept and said:

"Mom and Dad, I don't want to study anymore, I feel so dirty, I want to go home."

After learning the truth, Fu's mother cried and hugged Fu Xianyu, and her father was very angry and broke all the cooking utensils in the house.

The mother cried and cursed the injustice of the heavens, Fu Xianyu shouldn't be subjected to such treatment. Fu Xianyu hugged her mother tightly, feeling that all the pressure had been released.

[Fortunately, she still has her parents with her, so she doesn't think she's dirty. 】

In the next few days, Fu Xianyu asked for leave from school, Fu's mother stayed with her at home, and Fu's father went to find Ma Zhi alone.

"Mom, let me cook for you."

Fu's mother was silent for a long time. She looked at Fu Xianyu's fawning expression, and finally handed over the shovel in her hand.

Fu Xianyu loves to eat oil-splashed noodles made by Fu's mother. The hot lard is poured on the chili noodles, and the sound of sizzling is so happy that she can forget everything. It seems to incorporate her missing mother's love into the noodles little by little. , made it up.

"Mom, it's done."

Mother Fu didn't pick up the noodles in Fu Xianyu's hand, but stared at the red oil splashed on her clothes. The sporadic spots of oil were particularly eye-catching on the white clothes, like a virgin dripping red.

"Take it off," she said.

"Mom?" The hot bowl made her hands red, "What did you say?"

"Take it off!"

Mother Fu stepped forward and picked up Fu Xianyu's clothes, the noodles fell to the ground, and the few porcelain bowls shattered.Fu's mother took Fu Xianyu's clothes and walked to the yard. The water was freezing cold in winter. She grabbed a handful of washing powder and scrubbed it over and over again, like dirty clothes after washing and pouring manure.

Fu Xianyu stood where she was, with a foul smell filling her nostrils.

She didn't speak, and walked back to her room in silence.

Two days later, Father Fu came back with injuries all over his body.

"The bastard said that he had Xiaoyu's photo in his hand, and if we insisted on making things worse, we should print out the photo and send it to the school and the village."

"Is he crazy! How dare you be so arrogant after doing such a thing, god damn bastard."

Father Fu put on a cold face, and finally said: "We can't afford to lose this person."

Mother Fu also became silent, and finally she glanced in Fu Xianyu's direction with a loose face, "What sin did I do, if it was a son, why did this happen, but... just... this is to dig my heart ah."

Father Fu said: "Ma Zhi said that he is willing to marry our daughter, and he is also willing to give a bride price."

After that, Fu Xianyu didn't dare to listen anymore, because she started to have a bad feeling.

Sure enough, a few days later, Mother Fu tentatively asked Fu Xianyu if she wanted to marry Ma Zhi.As long as they get married, the scandal will turn into a happy event, and there will be no embarrassment. Ma Zhi also has real estate, which is the dream of many girls in the village.

Fu Xianyu's eyes were red, at a loss, she didn't understand why her mother had this attitude, why she couldn't understand after going through such a thing, she begged humbly: "Mom, I don't want to marry him, I listen In your case, I will stop studying, so I will stay at home obediently and not go anywhere, please don't marry me to that scumbag."

"No, if you want to marry you, marry your landlord!" Fu's mother's tone suddenly became very tough, "Yes, just marry him. If you marry him, you will be fine. You will not be dirty. You become a husband and wife. That kind of thing should be done.”

"No! I don't want it, please Mom. You help me. I'm going to die if this goes on."

"Then you can go to hell! What do you want me to do! I have worked hard for so many years to support you, do you want me to be gossiped by others at this age, and your father, you want others Say his daughter is a slut?"

Fu Xianyu looked at Fu's father, knelt in front of him and kowtowed over and over again, "Dad, you love me the most, I beg you to persuade my mother, we will not pursue it, but don't marry me to him."

Fu's father was smoking a cigarette, tears were falling, he was incapable, and Ma Zhi also said that if Fu Xianyu was not married to him, he... what could he do?He began to waver.

The mother and daughter cried together. Fu Xianyu's mother felt sorry for her daughter, but she couldn't bear the gossip. She began to blame Fu Xianyu for being raped, as if all the faults were hers, why not The other person happened to be Fu Xianyu. Could it be that Fu Xianyu didn't listen to her, acted coquettishly, and seduced Ma Zhi.She also knew that Fu's father would compromise in the end, because this man had the best face and sent Fu Xianyu to study for the sake of face. This happened to Fu Xianyu, and the two had quarreled countless times. Fu's father blamed her for not educating Fu Xian well. Jade.It was like a strange circle, reincarnated one after another, and finally the despair grew bigger and bigger, gradually drowning out Fu Xianyu's tiny hope in her heart, pressing towards her like a tall building, smashing her to a bloody mess.

Before Fu Xianyu's death, she was in a trance. The only thing she remembered was that Gu Yuntian's birthday was coming. She went back to school and pretended nothing happened.It took a long time to finish the gift. It was a bracelet, the same thickness as the one she took away secretly. The difference was that she spent a lot of effort to put it on such a thin bracelet. Gu Yuntian's initials were edited in, and then she and the whole class took graduation photos, and put the gift in Gu Yuntian's desk, as if giving back the one she stole.

When she died, Fu Xianyu didn't feel any pain. She didn't think about dying beautifully or in a fancy way, but simply slashed from the inside of her wrist to the bottom with a utility knife.

The wound was deep and the blood glared.

She smiled because... relieved.