To die

Lu Hanqian didn't realize that this was Lin Yan giving him a model composition, asking him to follow suit.

He was so flattered that he immediately wanted to respond to Lin Yan's overture, and the end of the letter to Lin Yan the next day became: "Kiss you a hundred thousand times!"

Lin Yan: "..."

Lin Yan gave up.

He felt that if he also wrote "Kiss you 100 times", Lu Hanqian would reply him "Kiss you [-] times", just like children comparing who loves each other more, childish to the point of home.

There were dozens of letters exchanged, and after talking about all kinds of trivial matters, Lu Hanqian began to chat with Lin Yan about some things in his past in the letter.

Lin Yan read Lu Hanqian's letter and sat at the desk, a little silent.

Since he became a lawyer, he has taken on many cases. These cases are full of thorns and mud. Lin Yan has walked all the way, stumbled and bruised all over his body. It is because he has gone through these roads that he became who he is today.

But let Lin Yan remember and grieve, he still resisted a little.

——Because in most cases, even though he tried his best to win the lawsuit, the fate of those people still remained unchanged.

"I want to get to know you, baby."

Lu Hanqian wrote in the letter: "I want to know how you became the 'Lin Guyan' you are today. What things have you experienced and what scenery have you seen? They are like the books you have read since you were young. Don't remember, but the deeper influence has long been fused into the flesh and blood, and has become one with you."

"I'm a lousy person."

Lin Yan said: "When you know all about me, you may think that I am a crazy Don Quixote."

——that Don Quixote who straddled the horse and held the gun, and rushed towards the windmill obsessively.

"No, you are my little prince."

Under the light, Lin Yan silently read this sentence for a moment.

The ink of the pen blurred slightly on the letter paper, Lu Hanqian's handwriting was strong and powerful, and on the word "Prince", he even drew a crappy little crown.

"In 2014, Mt.Gox, the world's largest bitcoin trading platform, closed its trading, and bitcoin entered a cold winter period. I met a 27-year-old client."

So, Lin Yan wrote.

This case had a profound impact on Lin Yan. It made him think of it repeatedly after a long time, and he could not let it go or forget it. It almost changed his understanding of the world.

It was a girl, four or five years older than Lin Yan, who had been married to her husband for three years.Her husband is a university professor who was her teacher when he was in school. He is 47 years old.

She was born in a poor family, and it was not easy for her to be admitted to a university from a remote village. She never received love from her family when she was a child, and her personality became very well-behaved and weak.

——But precisely because of this weakness and cleverness, her mentor has her eye on her.After repeated testing of the bottom line several times, she finally compromised, conceived before marriage, and married this man who was 20 years older than her.

She thought her fate would be overturned here, but in 2014, after the bitcoin crisis, she accidentally discovered that her husband borrowed a large sum of money in order to buy bitcoins, all in her name.

Without knowing it, she was "in debt" of 300 million.

How could a 27-year-old young girl with no experience in the world be able to play against a finance professor who has spent half her life in society.

She panicked and came to ask Lin Yan what to do.

Lin Yan felt powerless. He saw the loan certificates provided by the girl, all of which had legal effect and were signed by him.

"He stole my ID card... He asked me to sign some forms, but I didn't dare not to sign. I didn't know he had borrowed so much money..."

Afterwards, Lin Yan traveled farther and farther on this road, and saw more and more things, and this was not the most vicious thing among them.

But because of this, Lin Yan became more and more confused - in this sinister world full of monsters and monsters, the most evil people always have a way to protect themselves, and the ones who are often hurt are always those innocent and soft hearts.

Lin Yan doesn't believe in social Darwinism, but he feels more and more that human beings have evolved to the present, and they seem to be no different from primitive societies.

The law of the jungle and survival of the fittest have never changed.

He didn't want such a world, and tried everything to turn it around.

He wants to protect the weak, cut off the minions of the powerful with his sword, and push the world to change in the way he wants.

"I have received consultations from wealthy children, asking if there is any way to reverse the routine after sexually assaulting women, slandering them as fairy dances."

Lin Yan wrote: "Also because he insisted on adjusting the monitoring, he was almost stuffed into a van by the security guards and taken to the wilderness to be buried alive."

After meeting Lu Hanqian, Lin Yan already knew that he carried a knife and a recording pen with him after offending Zhao Yu, but Lin Yan, who had just graduated from university, didn't know that at the time.

He learned how to protect himself only after he was dragged into an alley by four people in sacks on his way home from get off work.

Lu Hanqian was terrified when he read the letter, but Lin Yan's narration was very calm now, calm and stable, and calm.

But behind all these understatements, there are all cliffs that have narrowly escaped death.

"I have never thanked God like this for allowing you to meet me safely."

I've never heard Lin Yan mention it before, so Lu Hanqian didn't pay much attention to it.

Now when he understands everything, he even sleeps at night with lingering fear and constant nightmares.

"It's not that I haven't thought about giving up."

"Just facing evil, if you become indifferent because of selfishness and cowardice, it is a shame to be born as a human being."

Lu Hanqian finally understood everything about Lin Yan.

Knowing his arrogance, his loneliness, why he became the "Lin Yan" he is today.

After reading the last letter, Lu Hanqian put the letter paper on the table, put on his slippers, walked to Lin Yan's bedroom, and knocked lightly on the door.

There was still light shining through the crack of the door, Lin Yan was not asleep.

Sure enough, the door opened soon, and Lin Yan stood at the door.

Lu Hanqian looked at him, under the rendering of the lights, the edges and corners of Lin Yan's facial features seemed a bit soft, and the light blue cotton pajamas made his skin whiter.

Lu Hanqian reached out and hugged Lin Yan.

He rested his chin on the top of Lin Yan's hair, and said softly, "Lin Yan, let's see a psychiatrist tomorrow."

Lin Yan was startled, and wanted to push him away, subconsciously not wanting to go.

But after hearing Lu Hanqian's next sentence, he was slightly stunned, and his strength of resistance gradually relaxed.

Lu Hanqian said: "Get well soon. I still want to accompany you to save the world, my little prince."

……

The psychologist Lu Hanqian contacted had quite a lot of experience.

On the day he went, Lin Yan wore a jacket, gun-gray jeans, and orange lace-up flat sneakers.

It looked cold and damp, and when he stood there silently, Lu Hanqian wanted to whistle at him.

When he was in the elevator, Lu Hanqian deliberately asked him in front of the whole elevator: "Brother Cool, can I have your contact information?"

Lin Yan: "..."

When they arrived at the hospital, Lu Hanqian accompanied Lin Yan to the clinic, squeezed the back of his hand: "You really don't want me to accompany you?"

Lin Yan shook his head.

Lu Hanqian stopped with a smile, watched him go in, and then sat down in the waiting area outside.

However, Lin Yan did not expect that Lin Yan would come out much faster than expected.

The door of the consulting room opened quickly, and Lin Yan walked out. The doctor looked at Lu Hanqian, shrugged his shoulders, and motioned for Lu Hanqian to go in with a helpless expression.

Lu Hanqian was very puzzled, and before leaving, he kissed Lin Yan on the forehead: "Wait for me obediently."

"what happened?"

Lu Hanqian looked at the doctor behind the desk, and asked Chi Chi: "Is it not going well?"

The doctor pursed his lips, spread his hands and said, "He's not very cooperative."

No matter what the consultant asked, Lin Yan would answer, and he would answer very fluently. If he hadn't really been unable to speak, he would have behaved almost like a normal person.

But this seemingly "cooperation" is actually the biggest lack of cooperation.

Because Lin Yan has always refused to open his heart to him.

One of the ways to treat post-traumatic stress disorder is to chat with the patient and ask him what he felt when the event that caused his trauma happened, so that the patient can vent his stress and emotions, and slowly carry out psychological dredging.

But no matter how the doctor asked Lin Yan, he would always answer "I don't feel it".

"Are you scared?"

"not afraid."

"Do you still remember the experience at that time?"

"remember."

"Try to describe?"

"..."

"He doesn't believe me."

The doctor said to Lu Hanqian: "He has a very thick 'self-protection shell' in his heart. If it is not the person he trusts, he will not be willing to share it with him."

Lu Hanqian was very silent.

"Try to talk to him."

The doctor said: "Otherwise, in the current situation, I would not be able to carry out psychological counseling smoothly."

Lu Hanqian could only nod his head, and took Lin Yan back again.

In the evening, Lu Hanqian washed Lin Yan's hair.

Lu Hanqian is very good at washing his hair, as if he has some kind of exclusive technique, when he washes his hair, he can keep the water from getting into his eyes.

Every time Lin Yan washed his hair, he would come to help.

Lin Yan was sitting in the bathtub, and Lu Hanqian was standing behind him, while rubbing bubbles on Lin Yan's head, while beating his stomach with a lot of thoughts.

Lin Yan hugged his knees and soaked in the bathtub. Under the floating water light, he could vaguely see the outline of his body below the chest.

Lu Hanqian thought for a while, then lowered his head, looked at Lin Yan, and said in a low voice: "When I just took you out of the isolation room, I washed your hair in the same way. But at that time you were very scared, I Every time I touch you, you tremble badly."

"...Does it hurt when you're in there?"