To die

Lin Yan was very angry.

After playing that day, Lu Hanqian propped up his arms and head the next morning and watched Lin Yan wake up in his arms.

He felt so warm, the person he liked was lying beside him, guarded by him in a protective gesture, sleeping peacefully.

Lin Yan's complexion was very fair, and when he fell asleep ignorantly, he looked like a little prince who fell asleep on the throne in the palace.

The jet-black hair covered a little of his forehead, and his eyelashes also cast a small blurred shadow under his eyes.

The more Lu Hanqian looked at it, the more he liked it, he couldn't help but bowed his head and kissed him on the eye socket, and the hand under the blanket also pinched Lin Yan's waist.

But he probably used too much force, Lin Yan's eyelashes trembled, and he slowly woke up from his sleep, and opened his eyes with a frown.

His pupils slowly focused, seeing the person in front of him clearly, Lu Hanqian looked at him with a smile, waiting for him to get up and praise himself or something - he thought he performed well last night, Lin Yan shivered in front of him at the end When the palm reaches the climax, there are unconscious physiological tears falling from the eyes, which is one of the signs that the body feels great pleasure.

——As a result, the praise didn't come, Lin Yan's consciousness slowly regained consciousness, and after recalling what happened yesterday, he immediately slapped Lu Hanqian.

He looked very angry, even his body trembled involuntarily, his lips were tightly pressed, and his dark eyes looked at Lu Hanqian coldly.

Lu Hanqian was stupefied, he looked at Lin Yan in confusion, he didn't understand, so he was confused: "What are you doing? You lost your temper early in the morning."

However, Lin Yan lifted the quilt, jumped down barefoot, and walked to the living room without saying a word, threw all Lu Hanqian's things into the box, and then pushed the door out.When he entered the room again, he pointed at the hotel door to Lu Hanqian, the meaning couldn't be more obvious: get lost.

"..."

Lu Hanqian was so wronged, he really didn't know what kind of anger Lin Yan was so angry in the morning, and he slapped him as soon as he opened his eyes.

So subconsciously, he was the same as before, leaning over to hold Lin Yan's hand with a stern face: "What's the matter, sweetheart, why are you upset with me? Don't lose your temper, ah, I'll make you breakfast."

However, Lin Yan was really angry this time, he didn't accept Lu Hanqian's request for peace at all, and tried his best to pull his hand out to prevent Lu Hanqian from hugging him.

After Lu Hanqian hugged him twice, but was pushed away by Lin Yan again and again, and even almost fell on the bedpost, his temper also came up.

"What's wrong with you?"

Standing in front of Lin Yan, he felt that Lin Yan was simply inexplicable, and he didn't appreciate it at all when he flattered him so ignorantly, as if he was superfluous and boring: "What do you think is wrong with me, can you tell me, ah? "

He stared at Lin Yan: "Lawyer Lin, you are already 25 years old. You are not a kid who can't speak yet. I am your target. Can you not hide any thoughts? I am still guessing like this." Didn't I want to understand you and help you?"

If Lin Yan could speak, he would definitely say "Who is your object" right now?

But in fact, Lin Yan opened his mouth, but couldn't utter a word, as if a hand was strangling his throat, and he could only make some vague breath sounds.

Lu Hanqian looked at him, but Lin Yan remained silent.

Seeing that Lu Hanqian didn't move and didn't intend to leave at all, he simply went to the bathroom to wash up, and treated Lu Hanqian as if he was a transparent person.

Lu Hanqian saw him walking back and forth in front of him, but didn't even look at him, feeling a sense of loss, wronged, and sad.

Lin Yan went to the study to send a text message, apologizing to the agreed organizer that today's performance might be cancelled.

While pressing the keyboard, he happened to catch a glimpse of the civil law book in the trash can. Lin Yan couldn't help but pause his fingers, staring blankly at the cover of the book for a long time.

Lu Hanqian stood at the door of the study, looking at Lin Yan.

Lin Yan ignored him, and he himself felt very sad. He didn't know why, but Lu Hanqian still took the initiative to persuade Lin Yan: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pinched you yesterday. Are you angry about this? Then I won't do it next time." Can I meet you, I just want to know you a little bit more, but you usually don't tell me anything..."

Lin Yan didn't even raise his eyes, Lu Hanqian looked at him silently: "Lin Yan, can you just say something? Why are you always so ignorant?"

He stood at the door for a while, but after Lin Yan remained silent, Lu Hanqian took a long breath, turned and left.

.Then Lin Yan heard the sound of the hotel room door being unscrewed and closed again.

Lu Hanqian left with his small suitcase.

Lin Yan was sitting in the study, looking down at the screen, his eyelashes moved slightly.

His previous thoughts were indeed correct.

Lin Yan thought silently in his heart: I am not suitable for establishing an overly close relationship with others.With such a crippled personality, what qualifications does he have to expect to lead a normal life.

Both Lu Hanqian and Lin Yan are proud and sensitive people, but Lin Yan's shell is thicker than Lu Hanqian's.

Lu Hanqian could cut off his thorns for him, and pray to get closer to Lin Yan, but Lin Yan's ice shell can only be slowly melted by Lu Hanqian from the outside world.

This kind of aphasia usually only lasts for more than ten hours. When Lin Yan's mood stabilizes, he will recover naturally.

But for some reason, this time, after three or four full days, Lin Yan still couldn't make a sound.

He wanted to speak, and while listening to the soothing music on his phone, he practiced his mouth shape for pronunciation.

But Lin Yan touched his vocal cords, no matter how hard he tried, he could only utter a faint, subtle breath.

When a person is alone, it is easy to be lonely, and negative emotions are constantly magnified.

Lin Yan became even more anxious and irritable after so long without any progress in recovery.

After accidentally smashing a porcelain cup, he once again self-harmed.

He held the porcelain piece without saying a word, tightened his palms tightly, and the sharp porcelain corners pierced into the flesh in an instant, but Lin Yan felt no pain at all, and continued to hold on until his hands were covered with blood. Yes, spilled fingertips dropped to the floor.

He buried his face in the crook of his arms, gasping for breath like a sob, couldn't help thinking, why am I so useless, why am I so useless...?

The arrogance and excellence that have bound him since he was a child made Lin Yan's self-esteem almost morbid.

He knew that he was not normal, maybe Lu Hanqian just wanted to make him feel better that night, it was because he was sick that he made such a fuss.

After the entire palm was numb, Lin Yan stumbled and stood up against the wall, washed the blood off his hands, put on a bandage and wiped away the glass scum.

Throughout his travels, this sort of thing had happened in the past.If he hadn't met Lu Hanqian, Lin Yan almost doubted that sooner or later he would go completely insane after a mental breakdown and stab himself to death with a piece of glass.

Generally speaking, Lu Hanqian is more normal than him. He takes care of Lin Yan's daily life, and can help call an ambulance in case Lin Yan hurts himself.

Lin Yan stayed in the hotel for a week and didn't go out much for seven days.

He nestled on the sofa watching all kinds of messy animal cub videos, the curtains were all drawn, and he couldn't tell what time it was.

I just feel hungry and ask the waiter to bring up a meal, and I don’t know if I have three meals a day.

During these days, Lu Hanqian did not send any text messages to Lin Yan.

He obviously has Lin Yan's phone number.

Lin Yan didn't have any particular thoughts, he just felt that the two of them were destined for each other, and if they were together, there wouldn't be much time for them not to quarrel, so it would be better if they were separated.

Originally, Lu Hanqian was also a young master who was used to being pampered, so how long would it take for him to be patient with his flawed personality who is not easy to get along with.

On the ninth day, Lin Yan ran out of cash and had to go out to withdraw money.

By the way, he also wanted to bring some flowers back to bring him some vitality. After looking at the ticket, Lin Yan wanted to leave.

But I didn't expect to meet Lu Hanqian on the way back.

Lu Hanqian regretted not going far, but he was ashamed to drag his suitcase and go back immediately, so he rented a single room opposite the hotel and waited for Lin Yan to come out all day.

But Lin Yan stayed in the hotel all the time, with the curtains still drawn, he couldn't see anything at all.

At this moment, finally waiting for Lin Yan to buy flowers downstairs in the hotel, Lu Hanqian can't wait to go down to find him now.

I haven't seen him for a few days, Lin Yan seems to have lost a lot of weight, and his clothes seem to be empty from the back.

He seemed to be in a bad mood, his face was pale, and he made a lot of sign language when buying flowers.

Lu Hanqian felt very strange, he remembered that the old lady selling flowers downstairs was clearly not dumb, why did Lin Yan gesture with his hands when talking to her?

It was as if his eyes were all on Lin Yan's body. From the corner to the place less than 500 meters away from the hotel, he kept staring at Lin Yan until he could no longer see Lin Yan's back. He turned his eyes away very reluctantly.

Lin Yan didn't know how often he would go out, and Lu Hanqian always knew that he didn't like to move.The next time I see Lin Yan, I don't know when it will be.

Lu Hanqian felt empty and a little uncomfortable in his heart.

He went downstairs, thinking that it would be good if he could buy a few flowers that were the same as Lin Yan's, as if the two of them were breathing the air of the same space.

"I want a bouquet of the same flowers as the ones I just bought."

While talking, Lu Hanqian gestured towards the old lady like Lin Yan.

Who knew that the old lady looked at him with a very weird look, and replied as if she was looking at a psychopath: "Oh, okay, please wait a moment."

"Ma'am, you can talk!"

Lu Hanqian asked in surprise.

Seeing the puzzled look on the old lady's face, he quickly changed his words: "No, what I mean is that I saw the young man gesturing just now, and I thought you couldn't hear me."

"I can hear you."

The old lady said: "It's the customer just now who has aphasia."

"..."

Lu Hanqian was very surprised by the sudden information, but before he had time to ask again, Wall called.

"Lu, what happened to you and Lin?"

Lu Hanqian paused, and subconsciously replied: "It's nothing... It's just that something happened a few days ago and there was a little conflict."

Wall knew that Lu Hanqian had confessed his love to Lin Yan, so he felt that they were a couple in his heart.

He "ummmm" for a while, as if he was thinking about how to organize his words to tell Lu Hanqian.

"But just now Lin sent me a text message saying that he is leaving Paris."

Wal said: "Are you with him?"

Lu Hanqian was stunned: "He wants to leave? Why!?"

. "He said he was mentally troubled."

Wall's tone was very regretful, and he told Lu Hanqian, "I hope to leave Paris and find a quiet place to live."

"..." Lu Hanqian was flustered and stunned. After a long while, he mocked the phone and yelled, "How can he leave!? He already took my ring!"

Then he threw away the money and quickly ran towards Lin Yan's hotel.