To die

It is often said that if the fire does not burn yourself, you will never feel pain.

As a huge beneficiary of the privileged class, Lu Hanqian never thought that he would hate Lu Beizheng one day.

On December 47, [-], a fire in the suburbs of Lancheng killed [-] people.

Among them are six investigators, 23 medical staff, and all patients in the hospital.

The vice president took the blame and resigned, and committed suicide by jumping off the building that night. In his suicide note, he confessed his sin of embezzling public funds, which caused the aging of the circuit and failed to repair it in time.

Lu Hanqian was kept in the dark for more than 20 years. On the day he knew the truth, he lost his only relative forever.

At four o'clock in the morning, in front of Lu Hanqian's private house in the suburbs.

Dark clouds covered the sky, and it rained heavily.

Even though it was almost dawn, the sky was still pitch black, with not a single ray of light showing.

A Bugatti was parked crookedly in the yard, and the ground was covered with messy tire marks.

Lu Hanqian sat on the sofa in the living room, dripping water from the corner of his clothes.

The doorbell rang several times before he stood up and walked over to open the door.

The pitch-black iron door slowly opened with a "squeak", and Lu Hanqian looked at the person in front of him without saying a word.

"For you."

Lin Yan stood outside the door, about an arm's length away from Lu Hanqian, and handed him a cowhide portfolio.

He probably came here after driving for a long time. Although he was holding an umbrella, half of his clothes were already soaked, and there were many mud spots on his trouser legs.

Lu Hanqian didn't move, and Lin Yan didn't take back his hand either. The water-proof cowhide bag was drenched in the rain, and drops of water rolled down from it.

After a while, Lin Yan sighed softly, put the paper bag back under the umbrella, and wiped it clean with the windbreaker in his arms:

"Forget it, you don't understand now. I'm leaving, and this is left to you by someone who means a lot to you—"

"—Chen Xi?"

However, suddenly, Lu Hanqian asked him abruptly.

Lin Yan seemed a little surprised, he didn't expect him to say this name.He looked at Lu Hanqian for a moment and asked:

"You know what?"

Lu Hanqian didn't speak, Lin Yan was silent for a while, his fingers slowly tightened in his palm, and after a long time he said:

"sorry."

Ten hours ago, he told investigators in Beijing that Lu Beizheng had made a move in a psychiatric hospital in the suburbs and urged them to rush there as soon as possible.

However, I didn't expect that after rushing over, the result was that six investigators were buried in the cremation together with all the detained patients in the hospital.

Because Lin Yan was traumatized by the isolation room, he couldn't get close to it, so he had to wait outside the hospital and escaped by luck.

"This is what she wants to leave you."

Lin Yan said softly: "There are 27 crayon drawings inside. She is very guilty of missing your life. This is the birthday present she wants to give you every year on your birthday when you are in the hospital."

Chen Xi pretended to be crazy in the mental hospital for 16 years, living like a real lunatic, just to deceive Mrs. Lu's eyes and ears, and wanted to see Lu Hanqian again.

...Or maybe, she has actually seen it.

When Lu Hanqian went to pick up Lin Yan that day, although she didn't see Lu Hanqian's face, she heard his voice.At that time, she thought that he would come to rescue her soon.

It's a pity that Chen Xi waited until the fire broke through the escape stairs, but he didn't.

Knowing that she would die at the time, she didn't wet the remaining bit of cloth to cover her mouth and nose, trying to escape, but wrapped all the sheets around the thin drawing paper, and threw them out through the narrow ventilation opening with all her strength. It fell into the shallow ditch outside the building.

"Sorry, I forgot, I should have told you earlier, or brought them over as soon as possible."

Lin Yan said in a low voice: "When she was there, she told me...but my memory has been very confused. Every time I think about the isolation room, I get a headache. I forgot... ..”

Lu Hanqian didn't speak, but stretched out his hand and took the kraft paper bag from Lin Yan's arms.

He opened the seal, and only pulled out a small piece of corner, which was indeed slightly yellowed from being soaked in water and exposed to high temperatures at close range.

"Four of them were burnt out. I sorted out the remaining parts and put them inside."

Lu Hanqian nodded, and put the thin paper back in.He lowered his head, Lin Yan couldn't see his expression clearly.

It is also difficult for Lu Hanqian to describe his mood at this time. The impression Chen Xi left on him is actually very rare. If it is not related by blood, it is not an exaggeration to say that he is a stranger who met once.

He was sad, but it didn't reach the level of bereavement and grief, he just felt bewildered, powerless, and an indescribable sadness.

Lin Yan looked at him, was silent for a long time, and said in a very low voice:

"Are you okay... sorry, I... I—"

"Lin Yan, I look pitiful, don't I?"

Lu Hanqian opened his mouth without warning, and suddenly asked him in a very soft hoarse voice.

Lin Yan paused, he didn't know how to talk to Lu Hanqian, but after Lu Hanqian asked, he was even more stunned.

"It turns out that the family members who have been with me for more than 20 years are blood feuds, and my father is a beast. The only person who might like me a little bit is gone tonight."

Lu Hanqian said: "How can I have such a family?"

He stood dejectedly and frustrated in the heavy rain, and asked softly.

Lin Yan couldn't answer, and there were complex emotions in his slightly flickering eyes.

Holding an umbrella, he looked at the helpless and sad man in the rain, and suddenly remembered that when he couldn't survive in the isolation room, Chen Xi kept encouraging him through the wall every late night.

"...When you can't bear it anymore, just call it out. Whatever they tell you, just say it."

"Auntie will tell you a story, oh Yanyan. There are many villains in this world, you have to learn to play hide-and-seek with them."

"If we don't want to be found by them, we have to learn to bow our heads; if this doesn't work, we can also bend down; if it still doesn't work, we lie on the ground. Don't think that we are enduring humiliation, we are lying in the center of the earth In the nearest place, listen to the sound of flowers blooming..."

When she first saw Lin Yan, she recognized him.

But at that time, Lin Yan had been tortured to the point where his consciousness was not very clear. Among the many stories she told about the past, only the single sentence like a sigh remained in Lin Yan's memory.

Chen Xi said, "I had a child before. He came into this world to protect you."

"It's raining heavily, let's go back."

After a long silence, Lin Yan handed the umbrella to Lu Hanqian in the pouring rain. The rain soaked his clothes instantly, but he turned around and walked step by step into the dark rain.

Lu Hanqian grabbed his hand: "Where are you going?"

Lin Yan pulled away Lu Hanqian's fingers little by little, and said in a low voice, "I still have things to do."

Now the whole Lancheng is looking for Lin Yan.

Lu Beizheng knew that he was not dead, and he had recovered his memory. In addition to the investigator's six lives, he had originally planned to give it a go, and at this moment, he would not allow Lin Yan to walk out of Lancheng alive.

Lu Hanqian was pushed away by him, and stayed where he was, staring blankly at Lin Yan's leaving back.

However, after a few seconds, he seemed to withdraw his soul suddenly, Lu Hanqian suddenly threw open his umbrella, chased after him, and hugged Lin Yan very hard.

He pressed him firmly in his arms, kissed his icy forehead in the rain, the beginning of the rain, and kissed him like the end of the world.

The force was so strong that it almost made Lin Yan's ribs ache.

"Lin Yan..."

Lu Hanqian hugged him tremblingly, resting his chin on Lin Yan's shoulder, breathing hoarsely in his ear like a sob.

"I can't lose you anymore."

Trembling, Lu Hanqian helped Lin Yan wipe off the broken hair on his forehead, and kept kissing his forehead. The nostalgia and unspeakable love passed through his wet clothes, along with his body temperature, and let him Lin Yan almost felt a burning sensation.

"My mother is gone, and no one in this world will love me anymore."

He choked up, trembling on Lin Yan's shoulder, the rain was heavy, Lin Yan's clothes were already soaked, he couldn't feel whether Lu Hanqian was crying or not.

Lu Hanqian embraced him, kissed him, and said in a hoarse voice like a begging gesture:

"Let me protect you, Lin Yan...I like you, I love you to death. If you die, I don't know what's the point of my life. You don't know how much I love you." love you..."

In "Zhuangzi", there is a man named Weisheng who meets his beloved woman under the bridge for a private meeting.However, the woman waited for a long time, the water rose and deepened, and at the end she hugged the bridge pillar and died.

The book wrote for him: "I will wait for you under Qianxun. When water comes, I will wait for you in water; when fire comes, I will wait for you in ashes."

Because there is probably always such a kind of love in this world.

Desperate, crazy, and unswerving—only the character of "Wei Sheng hugs the pillar and will rest until death" can describe it.

Lin Yan couldn't help backing away from his embrace, almost unable to stand still.

But Lu Hanqian pushed him against the rough tree trunk, constantly sucking and kneading him, like a beast pressing down on its prey, like a huge dragon guarding the most precious treasure.

"...I am a bad embryo, and there is nothing in my body that is worthy of you."

Lu Hanqian put his hand on the side of Lin Yan's face, and pressed his thumb against his warm and soft lips.He leaned low beside Lin Yan's ear, gasped and said in a hoarse voice:

"But even a scum like me, when I think of you, I can't help but want to get better and better for you."

He and Lin Yan were so close to each other that they could hear each other's heartbeat clearly.

Lu Hanqian raised his head slightly, looked at Lin Yan, looked into his dark and silent eyes, and said in a very low voice:

"I'm a bastard. But my love for you is pure. From the beginning to the end, I like you very much. You are very clean and never dirty. You don't have to, but don't dislike it, okay?"

As if waiting for the verdict of the gods, as if looking forward to the last sliver of redemption in his life, Lu Hanqian stared at Lin Yan intently, waiting fearfully and fearlessly for Lin Yan's answer.

He said, Lin Yan, you don't know how much I like you.

Like Like My Bone, Hit Hit, Favorite Man in the World.

What is your favorite person in the whole world?

It is all living beings in the world, among the thousands of people I have met and have not met, only you, let me be grateful to come to this world.

Lin Yan looked at him without saying a word. After a silence that lasted as long as a century, a drop of rainwater slid down the bridge of Lu Hanqian's nose and landed on Lin Yan's forehead.

Because of the wound Lu Hanqian left in the car accident not long ago, the rain was slightly stained with blood.

Lin Yan raised his hand to wipe it, then he nodded under Lu Hanqian's hot and unwavering gaze, and said:

"it is good."