To die

When Gu Zhao heard the news and rushed over, Lin Yan had already been lying in the hospital for two or three days.

Lu Hanqian was by his side, guarding Lin Yan all day long.Even though Lin Yan was unconscious most of the time, he held Lin Yan's hand and clasped his fingers together.

It seems that otherwise, Lin Yan will suddenly disappear in the next second.

"I heard about it......"

Seeing Lu Hanqian's decadent and desperate appearance, Gu Zhao said with difficulty: "For Lin Lu's matter, if there is anything you need my help for, just tell me, I will definitely do my best to help..."

However, Lu Hanqian shook his head, put his forehead on the hand he held with Lin Yan, and said in a hoarse voice, "It's useless."

He looked at Lin Yan with a gloomy and hopeless gaze: "I asked someone to investigate, and there is no suitable heart source at all, but Lin Yan has no time to wait."

Most of the heart sources in China come from death row prisoners, and very few donate their bodies voluntarily.

And the heart is different from other organs—□□, spleen and kidney, there are more sources of donations, but the heart is the source of life that everyone has only one, and if it is gone, it can only die.

"I don't know what to do anymore."

Lu Hanqian's eyes were bloodshot, and he said in a low voice: "Gu Zhao, this is the first time I like someone so much, how did I become like this? How did this happen..."

Gu Zhao was slightly silent. Gu Zhao believed the truth of these words.

From childhood to adulthood, Lu Hanqian has always been a very proud and face-saving person.

The life of the stars and the moon caused him to develop a lot of bad habits, but since he met Lin Yan, the things he has done to disgrace the floor can fill a Xinhua dictionary.

After discovering that Lin Yan was copying the email about Jinye, Lu Hanqian drove to Qujing Temple.

People are always like this. When they are unwilling to give up, they will always be delusional and try their best to find reasons to numb themselves.

He just wanted to see what kind of wish Lin Yan had written in Jingchan Temple's kit.

At that time, Lu Hanqian's mood was very unstable, Gu Zhao was worried, so he ran with him.

When they got there, they found that not only was there something wrong with the bag, but also the iron plate that Lin Yan and Lu Hanqian tied together was missing.

The piece of blood stained on Lu Hanqian should have been closely connected with his plaque, representing the fate that he violated the gods and forced to come, but he couldn't find it no matter what.

Among the countless marriage cards in pairs, only Lu Hanqian's name hangs there alone, and there is nothing on the other end of the red line.

All tourists who come to watch can see how this iron plate hangs there ridiculously and ridiculously——

It's like a poor self-confessed sentimental monster, foolishly wandering around where it doesn't belong at all, dreaming an extremely stupid dream.

Lu Hanqian stood in front of the marriage tree for a long time, and Gu Zhao was beside him, and he didn't know how to comfort him, so he just stayed silently with him.

"He turned out to be so stingy."

After a long time, Lu Hanqian said softly: "It's just a marriage card, and I have to take time to come back and take my own piece away. I won't leave it to me."

The young monks in the temple searched for a long time, searched inside and out, but couldn't find Lin Yan's piece.

Standing under the shade of the tree, Gu Zhao watched Lu Hanqian silently rummaging through every stack of fallen leaves, and couldn't help but say:

"Don't look for it, maybe Lin Lu took it away?"

However, Lu Hanqian didn't say a word, just still looking for him in a daze.

He won't.

Lu Hanqian said in his heart that with Lin Yan's character, if he didn't like it, he wouldn't wait until he brought it down the mountain before throwing it away. He would tear off the iron plate and immediately find a place to throw it away.

If you hold it in your hand for a second, it will be dirty.

Facts have proved that Lu Hanqian is indeed correct.

When every corner of the entire temple was finally searched, Lu Hanqian suddenly looked at the lotus pond in the front yard of the temple, and turned in under the eyes of everyone.

He bent down and groped in the mud for more than two hours before finally finding the rusted iron plate.

However, it is not necessary to mention how many unknown, circus-like gazes were attracted.

In the past, it would have been unthinkable for Gu Zhao to let Lu Hanqian jump into the lotus pond to touch things in such an eye-catching place.

As far as Lu Hanqian wanted to save face, it would be better to tell him to die if he did this kind of thing.

But at that time, Lu Hanqian was holding the scrap iron tightly, and crawled up from the pool dripping wet. He didn't care about anything, and only said to Gu Zhao with a sigh of relief:

"I found it."

Gu Zhao observed his expression with complicated emotions:

"Then what are you going to do? It's all rusted like this. I'll take it back for you to find someone to deal with it and wear it off?"

Lu Hanqian shook his head, he looked at the iron plate in silence, suddenly smiled for a while, his Adam's apple trembled slightly, walked to the trash can, and threw the marriage card into it.

Gu Zhao: "..."

This hard-earned thing, if you don't put it away properly, just throw it away for another place?

"What he doesn't want, I don't want either."

Lu Hanqian gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, tried his best to grin, and said, "Go, drive back."

Gu Zhao looked at his back in confusion, but Lu Hanqian strode forward without even turning his head.

Many times afterwards, Gu Zhao actually wanted to ask him:

That time you threw away the marriage card, Lu Hanqian, have you ever regretted it?

......

According to Lu Hanqian's request, all the medicines Lin Yan used during his hospitalization were replaced with the best ones.

When Lin Yan woke up, he stared at the medicine bottle on the infusion stand for a while, then turned his eyes slightly belatedly, and smiled slightly at Lu Hanqian.

"You knew already?"

"..."

Lu Hanqian looked very embarrassed.

He stayed with him in the hospital for several days, and when he was sleepy at night, he lay down beside Lin Yan's hospital bed and squinted for a while. At this time, his beard was unshaven, his hair was messy, and his high-end suit was wrinkled out of shape.

"......why?"

Lu Hanqian looked at Lin Yan with bloodshot eyes, and asked hoarsely, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What does my life and death have to do with you?"

Lin Yan said gently and extremely calmly: "Could it be that you will torture me less because of my illness, and will feel sad because of it when I die in the future?"

"..."

Lu Hanqian tightly clutched the bed sheet, opened his mouth, and then let go of his hand in a slumped manner, leaving only a few deep folds on the bed sheet.

He almost couldn't help but tell Lin Yan, do you know, I even had a heart match, and wanted to use my life to keep you.

However, Lin Yan's indifferent and playful expression made him unable to utter a single word. Lu Hanqian could almost predict that even if he said it, Lin Yan would just casually ask back, "Oh, is that so?"

"How can you be so cruel?"

Lu Hanqian asked in a hoarse voice: "Lin Yan, do you have a heart? How could I like a heartless person like you? We have been together for so long. I treat you...do you not have the slightest affection for me? ?”

"How self-righteous are you that you think I'll like you?"

Lin Yan asked indifferently: "In the past year or so, I have lived in great pain and despair. Every day I am walking on eggshells, afraid that you will have some new tricks to torture me."

"My home, the place that should give me the most sense of security, is occupied by you. I dare not go home every day. I wish I could live in the office and never face you."

Lin Yan said: "You were having a good time at that time, right? Lu Hanqian, so you think I will like you? - Then do you know that all your pleasures are based on my pain and my despair? , such a situation, why do you think I will have feelings for you?"

"...So you deliberately kept it from me."

Lu Hanqian murmured: "You want to die just to avenge me with your own death?"

Lin Yan's eyeballs were shockingly black.

I don't know why, when a person is extremely skinny, it's hard to be energetic anymore, but no matter how bad Lin Yan's complexion is, his eyes are always very clear, very bright, with an indescribable but fascinating temperament that Lu Hanqian can't describe .

"...who wouldn't want to live if they could."

Lin Yan rolled his Adam's apple very lightly, raised his face, and said to Lu Hanqian with a light smile, "Three times. Before it was irreversible, I had three chances to check, because you were only late."

Under Lu Hanqian's suddenly constricted pupils, Lin Yan calmly said: "For the first time, I went to the hospital for an examination after get off work, and I was with the little nurse. You were jealous and pinched me unconscious in the security room, but it didn't work out."

"The second time, I stood at the door of the ECG color Doppler ultrasound department, and the call number had already arrived. You asked me to go to your company to find you immediately. I was caught in the rain that day and ran up seventeen flights of stairs. When I went back, you asked me to kneel down and give you bite."

"Third time, last chance, you took my ID card."

Lin Yan narrated without the slightest ups and downs, and he had completely walked out of the bewilderment, bewilderment, and grief when he first learned about the illness.

He looked at Lu Hanqian's face that was too shocked and frustrated to make any expression, and smiled lightly: "So Lu Hanqian, what qualifications do you have to accuse me of being cruel, hiding it from you, and not having feelings for you?"

"—I am where I am today, all thanks to you."

"I do not know."

Lu Hanqian stood in a daze, but his legs were weak, and he sat back on the chair as if unable to stand.Feeling helpless like never before, he raised his hand several times, then lowered it, trembling uncontrollably, explaining incoherently: "...I really don't know. I'm sorry, I... ..”

"You'll realize your mistakes."

Lin Yan said coldly: "You have low EQ, you are stupid, and you don't know how to like someone—but the harm you caused to others cannot be written off so easily."

"People must bear the consequences for what they do. Even if it is unintentional, you can't press my head and force me to forgive you."

"...that lets me make it up."

Lu Hanqian said helplessly: "I will find the best doctor and give you the best medicine. As long as you cooperate, maybe you can wait for a suitable heart source...you won't die, I I said that not even the god of death can take you away from me."

"no need."

However, Lin Yan said: "I only hope that you will let me go and never see each other again in this life. Just treat it as the last good thing you do and give me some hospice care, okay?"

Lu Hanqian was instantly swallowed by endless despair.