To die

"Lin Yan?"

Lu Hanqian called out vaguely.After a while, he opened his eyes after receiving no response, sat up from the bed and looked for someone in the dark room.

Lin Yan's quilt was still warm, as if he hadn't left for a long time.

Lu Hanqian wondered if he had gone to the bathroom, so he pulled on his slippers and prepared to go out to have a look.But the door was unlocked from the outside, and Lin Yan came back by himself.

There seemed to be nothing wrong with him, the room was dark without turning on the lights, Lu Hanqian breathed a sigh of relief, and asked casually, "Where did you go?"

Lin Yan didn't say a word, as if he was still in a dream, his mind was hazy, and he walked a little wobbly.

He lifted the quilt and lay back, Lu Hanqian didn't ask any more questions.

He only felt that Lin Yan's body was icy and covered with a slightly chilly air, like the damp cold wind at night.

Lu Hanqian heard it, frowned and said, "Did you go downstairs?"

Lin Yan didn't speak, his silence was strange.

Lu Hanqian refused to give up, leaned over and pinched the back of Lin Yan's hand, and asked again.

"......Um."

This time Lin Yan finally answered.His voice was low, very weak, a little intermittent, as if he was very sleepy: "Sleep."

Lu Hanqian felt a little strange, and vaguely felt that something was wrong.

But it was late at night, so it would not be good to press Lin Yan again.After all, for Lu Hanqian, his bottom line is that Lin Yan is not allowed to leave. As for what Lin Yan wants to do in the villa and where to go for a stroll, it is up to him.

Lu Hanqian closed his eyes again, thinking vaguely that he had to adjust the surveillance tomorrow morning to see what Lin Yan was doing just now; while his mind was getting more and more dizzy, drowsiness swept over him again, and he was about to fall into a deep sleep again.

However, just when he habitually wanted to hold Lin Yan's hand and pull him into his arms, he suddenly noticed that Lin Yan was shaking.

It wasn't the trembling of cold or fear, but the involuntary spasm of the body. He tried his best to suppress it, but he couldn't help it.

"Lin Yan?"

Lu Hanqian paused for a moment, opened his eyes abruptly, his drowsiness disappeared, and he woke up instantly.

Lin Yan didn't answer, Lu Hanqian turned on the light with his backhand, and immediately looked at him——

This glance almost scared Lu Hanqian out of his wits.

Lin Yan's face was pale, his lips were tightly pursed, his forehead was covered with cold sweat, his temple hair was wet, and there were several scratches on his cheeks.

"What did you do, what's going on here?"

Lu Hanqian hugged Lin Yan in his arms, trembling a little while speaking, while patting Lin Yan's cheek lightly, trying to wake him up, he went to pull Lin Yan's eyelids to check his pupils.

——At that time Lu Hanqian thought he was poisoned and ate something that shouldn't be eaten.

As a result, Lin Yan was swayed in his arms twice, and he vomited a mouthful of blood, and had another nosebleed.

"Lin Yan!"

Blood dripped onto Lu Hanqian's finger, it was hot.There was a "hum" in Lu Hanqian's head, as if someone had hit him hard with a club. At that moment, Lu Hanqian's eyes went dark.

He stumbled to his feet and made an emergency call with his mobile phone.

He was too anxious to get out of bed, and tripped over the quilt. Lu Hanqian fell directly with a "clang" sound, and fell to the floor like a child, but he didn't feel any pain at all, and quickly got up again.

He stayed by Lin Yan's side, running around in a hurry but didn't know what happened.

There is no food or medicine that may pose a safety hazard at home.

Everything was carefully inspected by Lu Hanqian and bought by himself.Even the fruit knife is kept in a place that Lin Yan doesn't know, and Lu Hanqian usually cuts it and hands it to him.

Lin Yan's face became less and less bloodless, and his fingers became colder and colder.

Lu Hanqian couldn't help but put his head on his chest, listened to his heartbeat, and whispered: "Lin Yan, don't sleep, wake up..."

However, when he lifted the quilt, he found that Lin Yan's pajamas were still covered with leaves and grass.

"...What the hell are you doing?"

Lu Hanqian held Lin Yan's finger and put it in his palm, his voice trembling: "What did you eat, ah?"

"I'm sorry, I let you go, I'll send someone to pick you up tomorrow, Lin Yan, don't scare me..."

Lin Yan closed his eyes ignorantly, the few mouthfuls of blood he vomited just now had dried up and stuck to his dark blue lips, his face was shockingly pale.

His breathing was very weak, Lu Hanqian kept rubbing his hands, and among those who pinched him, it probably hurt him a little bit, Lin Yan frowned, and opened his eyes briefly.

He stared blankly at the ceiling, his eyes were empty and his pupils dilated a little.

But only for a few seconds, Lin Yan seemed to be very tired, and quickly closed his eyes again.

"......What did you say?"

Lu Hanqian stared at Lin Yan's weakly opened and closed lips, and moved closer to his mouth: "Lin Yan, what are you talking about?"

Lu Hanqian's body was hot, and Lin Yan could clearly feel him approaching him.

A smile appeared on his pale face, faint, weak, and fleeting.

Lu Hanqian heard him mutter a word, which was very vague, but when he figured out what the words were, his whole body froze instantly.

Gu Zhao once told Lu Hanqian that life is very fragile.Lu Hanqian tortured Lin Yan so much because of Lin Yan's strength.

But after all, he is only a body of flesh and blood, he will be hurt and sad, so he is struggling with Lu Hanqian to death, but there are still some things he wants to do that have not been done.

In the afternoon, when Lu Hanqian threw the money in Lin Yan's face, he completely destroyed Lin Yan's last line of defense.

He is tired, forget about those unfinished things.

So he said to Lu Hanqian: "You can play with someone else. I can't hold it anymore."

It's not poisoning, it's not eating the wrong thing.It was Lin Yan who fell from the balcony on the second floor by himself.

The doctor said that his ribs were fractured at that time, and his liver and spleen were also ruptured. He didn't know how he was able to walk back to the bedroom from the first floor.

If everything goes well, when Lu Hanqian wakes up that morning, he should find that Lin Yan has stopped breathing beside him.

Lu Hanqian waited late at night in front of the emergency room of the hospital, in the empty corridor, he was the only one sitting on a chair in the waiting area.

He kept rubbing the blood stain on his finger nervously, lowered his head, and kept picking, his mind was full of Lin Yan lying in his arms, vomiting blood and nosebleed.

It was the craziest day of his life.

Greater than any day Lu Hanqian has suffered in the past 27 years.

When he went out in the morning, he was still happy, thinking about buying clothes and perfume for Lin Yan, and he wrote down the brands and notes in the memo on his phone.

As a result, when he went back at noon, Lin Yan said he wanted to leave.

He no longer wants to recall the chaos and struggles in the afternoon. He only remembers that Lin Yan was clean and dressed in a windbreaker. However, more than ten hours later, he was already lying in the emergency room for rescue.

Lu Hanqian was very at a loss, he stared blankly at the clean and cold floor of the emergency room, and didn't have the energy to say a word.I don't know who to talk to.

The phone was vibrating beside him, Lu Hanqian glanced at it numbly, pressed the button to answer it, and there was Mrs. Lu screaming:

"Son! Come back and see your mother, your father is going to kill me!!"

Lu's mother was sobbing and crying: "Please, take mom to see a doctor, mom's head hurts so much, there is a woman singing in my ear!"

Lu Hanqian felt like he had a lump in his throat, the red light in the emergency room was still on, and Lin Yan's life and death were uncertain inside.

Hearing the crying and screaming in the microphone, Lu Hanqian stared blankly at the empty air in front of him, and hung up the phone without saying a word.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting in the corridor, but only when his legs felt numb did a doctor come out.

The doctor took off his mask and sighed: "Master Lu."

Lu Hanqian nodded and hissed, "How is he?"

The doctor's eyes flickered, and he looked at Lu Hanqian with a complicated expression.

"The rib fractures and damage to the liver and spleen caused by the patient's fall from a height are no longer life-threatening."

The doctor paused, and said selectively: "But I don't know if you are clear, the patient's heart failure is already at an advanced stage."

Lu Hanqian's legs softened, and he suddenly fell down on the chair.

"......what is that?"

After a long, long time, Lu Hanqian looked at the doctor in a daze, dryly and stiffly, as if he suddenly didn't recognize these four words: "What is the late stage?"

"Advanced heart failure."

The doctor repeated: "It has been delayed for a long time, and it can no longer be repaired through surgery. This situation is basically hopeless."

Lu Hanqian's ears were buzzing, and many details that he felt strange on weekdays suddenly all matched.

"...Does any of your medicines have small black balls?"

Lu Hanqian trembled, raised his hand and gestured: "It's so big, swallow it with water, and drink it when you're more emotional?"

The doctor understood, nodded, and quickly said the name of the medicine: "But this medicine doesn't have much effect. If you want to actively treat it, it is recommended to use some imported western medicine."

That's right, what Lin Yan drank behind his back was pills for heart failure.But he lied to him that it was used to relieve mental anxiety.

He didn't want to live since Lu Hanqian didn't discover the USB flash drive, and he has been hiding it from him, quietly waiting to die.

but why?

Lu Hanqian couldn't figure it out, when did he discover his illness?

Is he afraid? When the shadow of death hangs over him all the time, how can he be so calm and calm, as if nothing happened, go to the Buddhist temple with Lu Hanqian, ask for a marriage lottery, lie on the sofa in the afternoon, calm and peaceful Watching videos of panda cubs feeding?

How much spiritual strength and world-weariness do you need to cover up like Lin Yan?

Lu Hanqian's mind went blank, he suddenly realized that in this world, he couldn't find anything that could be used to keep Lin Yan.