To die

Lu Hanqian stared at the computer screen in a daze. After a long, long time, he stood up like a walking corpse, walked back to the living room in a daze, and put the USB drive back.

......How did that happen?

Lu Hanqian was lost in thought, not long ago, when they were hugging each other tightly on the bed, Lin Yan said, "Okay, I will grow old with you forever".

So he was lying to him.

But how could Lin Yan be such a person.

Lu Hanqian struggled and desperately thought as if he had fallen into the water and grabbed the last piece of floating board, if Lin Yan really wanted to harm him, why did he have to wait until today to do it, since they shared the same bed for so many days and nights.

He sat on the sofa, stared at the tea table in a daze, resting his elbows on his knees, and then slowly buried his face in his palms.

Lu Hanqian felt that he had never been so powerless and hopeless in his life.

It seemed that all the blood in my body had been drained, I didn't have any strength, and I didn't even have the energy to stand up again and go to the study to turn off the computer.

It was dark, and there was some invisible weight pressing on his back and heart, making him breathless.

Just like the retreating soldiers on the ancient battlefield, throwing away their helmets and armor, and fled to the foot of the city wall, looking at the scorched land full of desolation, there is nothing in their hearts.

But Lu Hanqian didn't know that when Lin Yan was humiliated and tortured by him like that half a year ago, when he came back from the old lawyer's house, and unexpectedly found out that the person who raped him was also the only son of a blood feud family, his heart was far more tormented than him. times.

He couldn't question him, resist him, and take revenge on him. Instead, he had to bow down to him, flatter him, knock out his teeth and swallow his blood, and investigate without dignity and anger like a dark insect that can't see the light.

For Lin Yan, who had an extremely strong and sensitive self-esteem, it was almost his death.

Lu Hanqian was in a daze, but the door lock clicked, Lin Yan unlocked it, and came back with a big bag of drinks and magazines.

As the temperature gradually rose in June, Lin Yan began to wear his white shirt and jeans again, paired with a pair of camel-colored buckskin boots, very refreshing and elegant, and even changed the type of perfume to a cooler tone.

He always lived exquisitely and gracefully, even in the last period of his life, he refused to show a pitiful decadence.

Lu Hanqian used to laugh at him, that before going to bed, he likes to casually flip through fashion journals, to argue that Lawyer Lin Wushuang would actually read such milky and motherly things.

Lin Yan remained calm, and the next sentence mocked Lu Hanqian for wearing a navy blue business coat all day long, like a tall mole.

"Lu Hanqian?"

Lin Yan frowned, and called Lu Hanqian two or three times.

But Lu Hanqian seemed to be distracted, staring blankly at one place without answering.

It wasn't until the fourth sound that he came back to his senses, looked up at Lin Yan, and asked in a shy voice, "...what?"

"Go and wash the rice." Lin Yan said softly, "I bought bananas and hawthorns, and I will cook four seasons porridge later."

"......Oh."

Lu Hanqian stood up slowly, Lin Yan looked at him: "Why is your face so strange?"

Lu Hanqian forced a smile and rubbed his face: "Something happened in the company, I'm worried."

Lin Yan's eyelids twitched slightly, as if he asked casually, "Is it serious? What's the matter?"

"There is something wrong with the finances. I asked Li Nan to email me the information, and I will check it out after dinner."

Lu Hanqian observed Lin Yan's expression, not letting go of even the slightest expression change on his face, and asked softly, tentatively:

"Lin Yan, are you worried about me?"

Lin Yan seemed bewildered and didn't answer. He just walked towards the room with the magazine in his hand and said stiffly:

"Wash the rice."

Lu Hanqian looked at his back, no matter what, he couldn't believe that this person would copy all his financial statements and keep them by category like checking accounts.Even any suspicious points in it are marked with red notes.

Before that, he didn't even know that Lin Yan would check it out.

The evidence is so conclusive, but Lu Hanqian still refuses to believe it.

He was like a stubborn child, trapped in a dream, unable to wake up even if he knocked.Even Gu Zhao once reminded him that with Lin Yan's character, how could he like him and stay by his side willingly.

But Lu Hanqian thought, with Lin Yan's character, if he didn't really like him, how could he stay by his side.

He is not stupid. At the age of 20, he successfully completed two rounds of financing. Without relying on his family relationship, he went all the way to study for a master's degree at the University of Pennsylvania. Lu Hanqian is not a fool.

He ignored all the details and flaws, just because he loved him.

Before he realized it, when he was still unwilling to let go of his dignity and pursue Lin Yan, Lin Yan had already filled his heart.

"Send me the report when the capital chain was broken a few years ago."

Lu Hanqian numbly washed the rice, while sending a text message to Li Nan: "Use email, change the date to the last few days."

He still wouldn't believe it until he saw it with his own eyes.

Otherwise, maybe Lin Yan regretted it yesterday and really fell in love with him?

He hasn't sent the contents of the USB drive yet, has he?

Holding the last hope, Lu Hanqian thought almost pitifully that it was not because he hadn't found conclusive evidence, but because he finally fell in love with him.

The cold water was freezing to the bone, Lu Hanman stretched out his hands in the porcelain jar and stirred the broken rice dumbly.

He grabbed a handful and clenched it tightly, and the rice grains would flow out from between his fingers, until there was almost nothing left in his palm.

——The tighter you hold it, the more you can't get it.

Lu Hanqian's eyes were red, his Adam's apple trembled and rolled up and down, and he let out a low, choked gasp.

After the porridge was cooked, Lu Hanqian wiped his face, put it in a bowl as usual, and sent it to the study to eat with Lin Yan.

Seeing his haggard look, Lin Yan thought it was the company's business, so he didn't ask any further questions.

Lu Hanqian pretended to act, just felt that he was sitting in front of the computer, as if sitting on pins and needles, he could hardly bear to close the screen immediately in the next moment, don't torture himself like this again.

A meal is tasteless.

After finishing eating, Lu Hanqian took Lin Yan's bowl as usual and took it to the kitchen to wash.

The computer on the desk was still on.

"I have something to go out, and I will wash the dishes later."

Lu Hanqian choked up and said in a low voice.

Lin Yan didn't say anything, just said calmly, "Oh."

Lu Hanqian walked out of the room slowly, and when he was about to leave, he still couldn't help turning his head, and suddenly said to Lin Yan:

"Lin Yan, I love you."

Lin Yan was watching a video of a panda cub without raising his head: "Yes, I see."

Lu Hanqian's Adam's apple couldn't stop rolling, looking at Lin Yan's slightly downcast side face, his lips parted several times trembling, but he couldn't utter a single word.

"...If you like pandas, I'll adopt a panda for you."

In the end, he still didn't have the courage to ask Lin Yanxi if he liked him, so he hissed, "If you like the moon, I'll pick a moon for you."

After a while, Lin Yan didn't know whether he thought he was grumbling, or he thought it was funny, so he looked up and said, "Then go pick it."

Lu Hanqian smiled with difficulty - he felt that the smile must be ugly, so he withdrew and closed the door.

Lu Hanqian originally planned to go downstairs to the car, but when he got to the safe passage, he couldn't help but sat down on the steps in the stairwell, and tremblingly opened the monitoring page of his mobile phone.

That is the dining room, but part of the living room can also be seen due to the open structure of the large flat.

The picture was still still, Lu Hanqian subconsciously put the back of his hand to his lips, biting it repressedly.

He didn't dare to move, he just watched with bated breath, as if he was afraid of disturbing something.

After about two or three minutes, Lin Yan seemed sure that Lu Hanqian had gone far away and would not come back suddenly, so he walked from the room to the dining room.

He calmly took out the USB flash drive from the fish tank in the living room, along with the medicine bottle.

From finding the U disk to copying it and putting it back in, it probably took less than 1 minute.

Lin Yan's expression was always very composed, unbelievably calm, as if he had done it countless times and was extremely proficient.

Humbert was in the cage, probably hungry. Lu Hanqian forgot to feed him before he left today. When he saw Lin Yan coming out, he couldn't help whimpering, trying to get Lin Yan's attention.

However, Lin Yan didn't pay any attention to it at all. When the restaurant was pouring water, he frowned slightly and gave Humbert a cold and annoyed look.Humbert immediately lowered his head as if he had done something wrong, and rolled back into the corner with his tail tucked in without daring to speak.

There were only two pills left in the glass bottle, Lin Yan ate one and there was one left.

But he seemed to think that the medicine bottle had been used for too long and was not hygienic, so he simply flushed the rest down the pipe and threw the glass bottle into the trash can.

After finishing these, Lin Yan washed the bowls, lest the porridge would be dried on the porcelain wall when Lu Hanqian came back.

——It was a limited edition produced in Jingdezhen, and the print imitated the "Dunhuang Flying Apsaras" in Mogao Grottoes. Lin Yan liked it very much.

After washing, probably because of being irritated by the cold water, Lin Yan coughed slightly.

He covered his mouth with a tissue and coughed for a while. The cough became more severe. Under the camera, his thin and thin shoulders shook like two butterfly wings.

When he finally calmed down, Lin Yan glanced at the tissue indifferently and calmly, and then threw it into the trash can.

——If Lu Hanqian's camera had a higher resolution and clearer camera, he would be able to see that there was blood on the paper towel.

However, Lu Hanqian did not.

When he saw Lin Yan took the USB drive into the study, and then hid it back as it was, his eyes were already red.

His mind was in a mess, Lu Hanqian bit the back of his hand so hard that he almost wanted to bite off a piece of his own flesh, his mouth was full of bloody taste.

He trembled silently and violently, his eyes were terribly red, revealing an expression of extreme ferocity, violence, and extreme hurt and grief.

It was like a wolf who commanded everything aloft, but received the most fatal and unexpected blow when he least expected it.

...It turns out that this is what it feels like to die.

Lu Hanqian suppressed a laugh, the laughter sounded in the empty stairwell, but it was like the mournful cry of some kind of scarred animal.



After five o'clock, Lu Hanqian came back.

He didn't know where he went, and he smelled like cigarettes, but he even brought Lin Yan a small cake.

In fact, Lin Yan doesn't like to eat snacks, and he doesn't like to eat cakes either. Eating sweet ones is bad for your teeth.But in the lazy summer, flipping through magazines and eating some snacks to pass the leisure time, it is hard for people to refuse.

Lu Hanqian watched Lin Yan finish eating the cake, and then asked him if he was busy tonight, and if he wanted to go to the suburbs to watch shooting stars together.

"A meteor stream in the constellation Lyrae."

Lu Hanqian said: "You can make a wish. It is said that it is very spiritual. You can get there before eight o'clock by car. Let's go and have a look together."

He said it was an invitation, but his tone of voice that could not be refused did not mean to ask Lin Yan.

Lin Yan was a little sleepy. Seeing that Lu Hanqian's tone and expression were completely different from those in the morning, he couldn't help asking:

"Do you have time to go? The company's affairs have been dealt with?"

Lu Hanqian smiled and said, "Accompany you, if you don't have time, you have to find time."

Lin Yan was a little cold, and he didn't look happy when he heard such love words, but said in such an unresponsive tone:

"Okay, let's go then."

"Then let's go now."

Lu Hanqian stood up and reminded him as if he was considerate: "Remember to wear more clothes, it may cool down at night."

Without thinking too much, Lin Yan casually added a jacket on the outside, and went out with Lu Hanqian.

He didn't notice at all how silent and terrifying Lu Hanqian's eyes were when he was changing clothes, leaning against the door frame and staring at him.

Before going out, Lin Yan looked at Lu Hanqian who was feeding Humbert, feeling a little puzzled, and asked, "Why are you adding such canned food to him?"

Lu Hanqian patted Humbert on the head, and said nonchalantly: "I'm busy these days, I'm afraid I forgot to feed it, and put it here so that it won't be hungry."

Lin Yan didn't take it to heart, he answered casually, and entered the elevator.

After getting in the car, Lu Hanqian did not turn on the music, but drove very quietly.

Lin Yan sat in the co-pilot, fastened his seat belt, and stared at the scenery outside the window in a daze.

It was afternoon, and there were very few pedestrians on the roadside.

Lu Hanqian took him to the elevated highway. Although the air conditioner was turned on in the car, the sun was shining brightly, making him feel a little tired.

What's more, for some reason, Lin Yan seemed a little sleepy today.

"Go to sleep for a while." Lu Hanqian said, "It will take two or three hours, and I will call you when it arrives."

"Ah."

Lin Yan leaned his head against the car window, and responded in a low voice, but at the moment he was actually sleepy and a little out of his mind.

Lu Hanqian drove Lin Yan around the city, he grabbed the steering wheel so hard that it was almost abnormal.

Many clips floated through his mind. For a while, Lin Yan was with him at Jingchan Temple, watching their iron plates tightly tied together by a red rope.

After a while, Lin Yan hugged him tightly with a slight sweat and said, "I will grow old with you forever";

After a while, he came out of the study with a cold expression, and copied all his emails into the USB flash drive very skillfully.

Lu Hanqian's Adam's apple trembled involuntarily. After a long time, he turned the steering wheel and turned his head——

After all, he didn't take Lin Yan to the suburbs, the villa he had prepared, but drove back to the Daping floor in the urban area.

When Lin Yan woke up, it was already ten o'clock.

It was completely dark outside, he was lying in the bedroom with the curtains drawn, Lu Hanqian stood in front of the huge French window, smoking a cigarette with his back to him without saying a word.

Lin Yan tried his best to blink, but felt dizzy and his head was heavy, as if he had a short-term headache after waking up after taking a nap for too long.

He unconsciously groaned/groaned in a low voice, wanting to touch his forehead, but when he moved, he discovered something strange——

Lin Yan watched his left hand approaching the head of the bed, which could barely move, his eyes suddenly tightened, and hissed in a tight voice: "Lu Hanqian——!"

Lu Hanqian didn't turn around immediately, but took the last puff of cigarette silently, and then threw the cigarette butt on the ground——

There were already a lot of cigarette butts there, and it seemed that he hadn't stopped since he got home.

Lu Hanqian lowered his head and slowly crushed the cigarette end with the sole of his shoe, then turned around and looked at Lin Yan calmly.

He walked to Lin Yan's bedside and looked down at him with unbelievably calm eyes.

He didn't ask how Lin Yan woke up, nor did he explain why they came back here, nor did he ask Lin Yan if he felt uncomfortable there.

Instead, he slapped Lin Yan suddenly and without warning.

Lin Yan was beaten so hard that he turned his head away and almost fell to the edge of the bed. His ears rang continuously, and the corners of his mouth split open immediately. A strong smell of iron rust and blood filled his mouth.

Different from the small fights in the past, Lu Hanqian always cared for others back then, and didn't use too much effort, with a little flirtatious meaning——

But this time, he exhausted all his strength.

Lin Yanfu lay on the edge of the bed and did not respond for more than 20 seconds. Half a minute later, he was trembling under the spontaneous reaction of his body and suddenly choked up blood.

"This time, it's your retribution for fooling me around like a fool this year."

Lu Hanqian's Adam's apple rolled very slowly, as if he was enduring something, he stared at Lin Yan, and said in a hoarse voice with bloodshot eyes.

Lin Yan furrowed his brows deeply, his black and blue eyelashes could not help trembling slightly, and his expression was full of unbearable pain.

But Lu Hanqian didn't wait for him to slow down, and immediately grabbed Lin Yan's jet-black and soft hair, and slammed it hard against the edge of the bed:

"This is the fulfillment of your dedication, Lawyer Lin, who sacrificed his life to 'obtain evidence'!"

Lin Yan was trembling all over, and couldn't hear what Lu Hanqian was saying at all.

His eyes turned black for a while, his consciousness was almost blurred, and he completely lost the ability to resist and let Lu Hanqian rub it in his hands.

Lin Yan's current physical fitness is not as good as when they first met a year ago. At that time, Lin Yan could still fight with Lu Hanqian. Now Lin Yan can hardly withstand Lu Hanqian's slap in the face.

In the end, Lu Hanqian grabbed Lin Yan's hair by the back of his head, forcing him to look up. Under the light, Lin Yan's face was as pale as paper, with cold sweat on his forehead, as fragile as cold porcelain that would shatter if touched lightly.

Lu Hanqian gritted his teeth, his eyes were completely red, his heart ached like a knife, his voice was about to change, but he still refused to cry.

He bit Lin Yan's lips fiercely, wanting to swallow him alive, sucking kisses hard, even if Lin Yan bit him hard, he would not let go.

Their blood was mixed together, bitter and astringent, and it was impossible to tell whose it was.

It's really like a lingering lingering death, until death.

"This time."

Lu Hanqian let go of his embrace very slowly after a long time, his voice was already choked with sobs, he cried with a low smile, and then wiped it away heavily with his thumb.trembling hoarsely said:

"It's my last love for you."