To die

It was almost ten o'clock, but Lin Yan hadn't come back yet.

Lu Hanqian waited at home, feeling a little anxious.

He pressed the remote control in a daze, and tuned the TV programs back and forth.Finally, I couldn't hold back anymore and decided to drive out to find it.

Lin Yan's social circle is very small, and he hardly has anywhere to go.

Lu Hanqian unscrewed the door of the small apartment he had rented before, and as expected, he saw Lin Yan curled up on the tatami mat, with his head buried in his arms, and several bottles of red wine that had run out of water were placed on the table.

Probably because he unconsciously knocked over the wine bottle after being drunk, the dark red wine spilled on the table, wetted Lin Yan's snow-white shirt, and dripped down.

No one lived in it for more than half a month, the sofa and the floor were covered with dust.The living room was filled with the smell of alcohol.

Lu Hanqian frowned, walked over, and patted Lin Yan's face lightly, trying to wake him up: "Lin Yan, get up and go back."

However, Lin Yan didn't move, and slept deeply, almost unconscious.I don't know how much alcohol I drank.

Lu Hanqian lowered his head to look at Lin Yan, and suddenly felt an inexplicable sense of strangeness——

What happened today, he had never seen Lin Yan like this before.

Although Lin Yan drank occasionally in the past, he wasn't so drunk, but took sips very slowly.

Like a hermit warming wine in a red oven on a snowy night, drinking alone with a kind of self-respecting arrogance.

Lu Hanqian likes to see him drinking like that, beautiful, arrogant, elegant, like a declining nobleman without losing his strength.

But Lu Hanqian hasn't seen Lin Yan like that for a long time.

In the darkness, Lu Hanqian sighed, bent over and hugged Lin Yan, and drove him back home like a scarred beast.

Lu Hanqian didn't dare to bathe Lin Yan, even though he was drenched in the rain and smelled of alcohol all over his body, he was afraid that Lin Yan would wake up if he moved, so he directly lifted the quilt and wrapped Lin Yan in.

Unexpectedly, in the middle of the night, probably because of discomfort, Lin Yan woke up again, staggered to the bathroom and vomited.

Lu Hanqian was also awakened by him, hurriedly put on his clothes and followed, but saw Lin Yan leaning against the toilet, the shower was turned on, and the cold water poured down from top to bottom, drenching him completely.

"Is it uncomfortable? Who made you drink so much wine..."

Lu Hanqian didn't know how to take care of others, he just patted Lin Yan on the back based on his intuition to give him comfort.

After a long while, seeing Lin Yan retching but not being able to vomit, Lu Hanqian felt that he also felt uncomfortable, so he called Li Nan angrily and urgently, telling him to quickly buy sober medicine and bring it here.

Li Nan only said that it was too late now, and it would take half an hour to arrive, so Lu Hanqian yelled at him, asking him why I gave you 20 yuan a month for food! ?

Li Nan didn't dare to say anything, but silently slandered in his heart that the boss's rabies had broken out again.

Who provoked him, such a big temper.

Lin Yan curled up tightly, leaning his head against the wall weakly, and murmured unconsciously: "It hurts..."

He covered his heart with his hands, frowned in pain, and couldn't help saying: "...here, it hurts..."

Lu Hanqian tried to hug him and pulled Lin Yan into his arms.But as soon as he got closer, he realized that the water in the shower was icy cold. He scolded his mother instantly, and turned to turn off the shower.

He wrapped Lin Yan in a bath towel, and fetched a paper towel, trying to wipe off the water on Lin Yan's face.

But after wiping for a long time, he couldn't do anything. Lu Hanqian took a moment to realize——

That was Lin Yan crying.

"I throw it with this body, even though thousands of people are with me..."

Lin Yan sobbed indistinctly, tears flowed all over his face, Lu Hanqian heard him choked up, and kept talking indiscriminately.

Lu Hanqian looked at Lin Yan with a stiff silence, and suddenly felt a kind of sadness from his expression.

What happened to this young lawyer who became famous, amazingly talented, and known as "the last conscience of the industry" made him break down and cry helplessly?

Lu Hanqian tightened his arms and hugged Lin Yan tightly, not knowing what to say, he just hugged him.

The person in his arms was cold and emaciated, with protruding butterfly bones, and even a little painful.

Lu Hanqian was reluctant to let go.I thought in my heart, even if I hug like this for a lifetime, it's okay.

***

Not long after, Lin Yan went to the detention center to visit Gu Li.

Across the long table, he examined the bloated, dying woman.

I witnessed the whole process of her death.

Lin Yan thought quietly in his heart, from the body to the heart, how they went from flickering with sporadic hopes to burning into ashes. I participated in it, but I was powerless to change it.

Gu Li was wearing handcuffs, and guards stood behind her. The handcuffs seemed extremely heavy, making her look like a piece of weak straw.

Lin Yan heard from the police that from the arrest to the confession, Gu Li was incredibly obedient.

She didn't even think about running away, so she went home and re-scanned the photo of her daughter, put fresh fruit and snacks, and told her, Mommy is coming to accompany you.Just wash your hair, take a shower, change into the cleanest clothes on your body, and wait at home.

"Lin Lu, thank you."

In the silence, Gu Li spoke softly.

She looked very peaceful, as if everything that should be done had been done, and she had no regrets in coming to this world.

Lin Yan asked in a shy voice, "Thank me for what."

I have neither been able to help you, nor have I been able to change anything. I am an incompetent person.

"Thank you for standing on the steps that day and seeing me—" But there was no sound.

Lin Yan's Adam's apple rolled slightly, unable to speak.

Yes, at that time he could clearly speak out and call Zhao Yu to stop, but he didn't—

"It's almost summer."

Gu Li said softly as if in a dream: "My daughter's waist is broken when she dances, and she always asks me to wash her hair in summer. I have to find her quickly."

"..."

Lin Yanxin's head was blocked by a stone, and he was so depressed that he couldn't say a word.

"sorry."

After a long time, Lin Yan whispered hoarsely.

"What are you apologizing for..." Gu Li smiled and said, "The person who caused all this is not you, Lawyer Lin..."

"I hate Zhao Yu so much."

Gu Li said calmly: "He ruined my home. He ruined my daughter's future and everything that is most important to me."

The woman raised her eyes, looked at Lin Yan, and continued, "I stabbed him more than 40 times, and he deserved it."

"Lawyer Lin, do you know how happy I was when the police found me and said I was a 'murder suspect'—he really died, that bastard, and finally went to pay for my daughter's life."

"..."

Lin Yan pursed his lips tightly, almost out of breath with some difficulty.

"I live on the second floor of half a room in the old town. I live frugally and send my daughter to dance lessons. Who have I offended?"

Gu Li hesitated and asked: "We are desperately living, just want to live a better life..."

Lin Yan couldn't answer this question because he didn't understand it himself.

He refused to sigh like countless people who have already compromised, this is life.He just closed his eyes repressedly.

"Zhao Yu gave me 500 million settlement fees."

Gu Li said: "I spent more than 400 million yuan to buy an apartment in his community to get close to him. If it is convenient for lawyer Lin, can he sell it for me, and buy some more paper money to burn for me after I die. "

Lin Yan nodded, and said in a very low hoarse voice, "Okay."

"I'm a useless mother."

With tears in her eyes, Gu Li smiled softly and said, "She is my baby, my heart, but I didn't protect her properly."

"...I hope that when I get there, I won't be as poor as I was in this life."

How many times have I waited in the evening, the woman hastily returned from get off work in the factory, while drying clothes on the balcony, while looking at the opposite bus stop.

Which car was she waiting for, to bring back her little girl.

The meeting time ended quickly, and Gu Li walked into the darkness with heavy shackles.

When Lin Yan left the detention center, it had been raining for more than ten days.

He held up his umbrella, and the whole city was shrouded in gray fog.

When will this cold season end?

Lin Yan thought, hurry up and come to Xia Tian, ​​he wanted to see the blood-red phoenix flower in full bloom for the last time.

The firm has not received any case for a long time.

It was not a well-known law firm, and Lin Yan was the mainstay in it.

When Lin Yan was here, many people came here admiringly, but since Gu Li, Lin Yan's physical condition has deteriorated and he can no longer devote too much energy.

Lin Yan went to the office to sort out his personal belongings, and then told the director of the management committee that after a long time, please help him dismiss all the cases that come to him.

"You don't do it?"

The director was very surprised: "Is there something wrong? Is it true that colleagues gossip behind your back? I'll scold them. Don't take it to heart..."

"It's my own problem."

However, Lin Yan said slowly, "I'm not in good health recently, and I want to rest for a while."

"Oh......"

The director felt a little pity, but it's not easy to directly persuade him to stay: "Then you will come back? Although our firm is not as big as others, everyone is very friendly, right? If you are not satisfied with the salary, you can discuss anything else. "

Lin Yan smiled and said, "Okay."

He was holding a cardboard box, and it was inconvenient to open an umbrella, so he stood on the side of the road and called for a car.

The little assistant chased him out of the office, as if he had heard something, his eyes were full of reluctance.

He whispered to Lin Yan: "Lin Lu, are you leaving?"

"No, it's just going home to recuperate, not accepting an agent."

Lin Yan smiled and said, "Why are you so sad? I haven't resigned."

The little assistant said "Oh" and asked again: "Then if you want to change places, can you tell me? I'll still be your assistant."

Lin Yan looked at him carefully, feeling that someone would be reluctant to let him go, and felt an indescribable feeling in his heart.

After a while, he said in a low voice, "Okay, if I'm leaving, I'll say goodbye to you."

The little assistant immediately cheered up, and said like a child: "That's fine, we've made a deal!"

While talking, he wanted to help Lin Yan carry the cardboard box, but Lin Yan refused, so he rushed into the rain with an umbrella, waved to Lin Yan:

"Then I'll call Che Linlu for you!"

Lin Yan looked at the little assistant's back, and suddenly felt that even if he was gone, the office wouldn't be in such a mess.

As soon as the little assistant walked to the side of the road, a Porsche honked its horn.

The car window opened, Lu Hanqian poked his head out, looked at the little assistant in a suit and trousers, frowned and said:

"Hey, why are you holding Lin Yan's umbrella?"

"..."

"How did you know it was my umbrella?"

Lin Yan sat in the car and asked incredulously.

"What about you I don't recognize?"

Lu Hanqian snorted, and said disdainfully: "Besides his attire, isn't your office nearby?"

Lin Yan was amazed and felt that Lu Hanqian did have the qualifications to study at the University of Pennsylvania.

"Who was that person just now?"

Lu Hanqian asked a little sourly: "I feel that we have a good relationship with you."

"Yeah. That's weird, isn't it?"

Lin Yan said lightly, "How can a person like me deserve friends? I deserve to be lonely to death."

Lu Hanqian was choked up, but he couldn't refute, so he went back to drive his car holding his breath, without saying a word.

Lin Yan is in a bad mood recently, Lu Hanqian can see it, and wants to spend more time with him.

Who knew it was so hard to finish all the meetings, thinking of leaving get off work early to pick up the object, and seeing such a heartbreaking scene?

The more Lu Hanqian thought about it, the more he felt aggrieved. After holding back for a while, he couldn't help but say:

"It's not that I don't want you to make friends, it's that you have to be careful. Grasp the degree of friends and objects, and don't give others a wrong understanding and cause unnecessary misunderstandings..."

Lin Yan looked out of the car window and said softly, "Got it."

So Lu Hanqian felt relieved like an old father who was worried about his child's puppy love, and said with relief: "It's good that you know."

......

Lin Yan no longer went to work in the office, and spent more and more time at home.

What's the point of Lu Hanqian going to work when Lin Yan is at home?

He simply didn't go to the company anymore, the meeting video was on, and the email said that he and Lin Yan faced each other in the study every day, and their sense of happiness improved tremendously.

Of course, what flattered Lu Hanqian the most was that once in a while when Lin Yan was hungry, he went to the kitchen to cook red date porridge, and he still had his share!

Gone are the days when I only cooked for myself and completely ignored Lu Hanqian!

The moment Lu Hanqian took the jujube porridge from Lin Yan, he wanted to take a photo and send it to Gu Zhao immediately.

"Next time I'll help you boil the water."

Lu Zongbai was a little embarrassed to eat people, so he said with difficulty.

"Need not."

However, Lin Yan said lightly, "Go and wash the bowls and rice cooker later."

Mr. Lu hesitated a little: "Isn't there a dishwasher?"

"Hand-washing is more assured."

"Oh, okay."

Lu Hanqian didn't doubt that he had it, he just felt that these two people living together, one washing the dishes and the other cooking porridge, just like ordinary young couples, had a very interesting life.

Modern technology too ruined his chance to get closer to Lin Yan.

After Lin Yan also chewed and finished the porridge slowly, Lu Hanqian took the bowl frankly, took it to the kitchen and happily washed it.

He turned on the faucet and wore plastic gloves. For some reason, he suddenly felt that "home" should be like this.

For more than 20 years, Lu Hanqian's heart was now filled with things that he had never felt in the Lu family's manor-like mansion.

He felt grounded, warm, and backed up.

But in fact, it was just Lin Yanduo who cooked him a bowl of porridge.

He would never have imagined that at this moment in the study, Lin Yan was gently sliding the mouse, clicking on the browser on his notebook that had not been turned off, and copying all the contents of Lu Hanqian's unclosed email page into the USB flash drive.

The sound of the water stopped, Lu Hanqian came back from washing the dishes, feeling very fulfilled, he couldn't help but put his arms around Lin Yan, said with a smile:

"It's finished. Come, reward me with a boo."

For some reason, Lin Yan seemed to be in a daze, not quite in the mood.

He tilted his head very cooperatively, and kissed Lu Hanqian lightly on the cheek.

"Yo, why are you so good today?"

Lu Hanqian was in a good mood, and immediately stretched out a hand, pinched Lin Yan's chin, pressed him against the bookshelf and kissed him.

As soon as he asked for it, the kiss became deeper and deeper, but Lin Yan never refused him.

It wasn't until the end that Lin Yan was almost suffocated, and his whole body trembled involuntarily, that Lu Hanqian suddenly let go.

The corners of Lin Yan's eyes were red, and he slid down against the bookshelf, gasping for breath.

It was afternoon, and the sun was shining brightly outside the window.

Lu Hanqian turned around abruptly, went to the window and pulled the curtains abruptly, and the study suddenly became dark.

He brushed his hair, pressed Lin Yan under his body like a beast about to eat, and kissed again and again.

Lin Yan closed his eyes and let him manipulate him. When he entered, he groaned||groaned and asked with a trembling voice:

"...Lu Hanqian, what do you like about me?"

Lu Hanqian didn't answer, and bit Lin Yan's collarbone, which made him tremble, and then he started to play with Lin Yan fiercely.

"I don't know what I like about you..."

He kissed Lin Yan's trembling eyelashes, and said in a hoarse voice, "But I love you to death."

......You will regret this.

Lin Yan closed his eyes and said silently in his heart.