To die

Lin Yan threw up in the bathroom all night.

His voice was very low and he tried his best to suppress it, but Lu Hanqian still heard it.

He hadn't slept since the beginning.

Lin Yan was lying beside him, breathing lightly, but Lu Hanqian knew that Lin Yan was still awake.Lin Yan did not fall asleep, and neither did Lu Hanqian.

He closed his eyes, and for a while, Lin Yan's white and fragile nape that was exposed when he knelt by his legs was in his mind, and for a while, Lin Yan looked at him coldly and said, "Sometimes I hope you die. ".

For Lu Hanqian, tonight is undoubtedly a joyful love affair.

But for some reason, after the hormones were satisfied, instead of feeling happy, Lu Hanqian felt as if something was choking in his heart.

The pointer slowly passed twelve o'clock, Lin Yan probably thought he had fallen asleep.Lu Hanqian felt his side lighten up, Lin Yan slipped on his cotton slippers and went to the bathroom.

Hearing Lin Yan's voice of vomiting lightly, he opened his eyes and quietly looked at the emptiness and darkness in front of him.

This feeling is very strange, Lu Hanqian has lived for 29 years, this is the first time he feels it.It's a bit like a child who made a mistake in elementary school. He made a huge mistake in a short while, but when he realized it later, he couldn't correct it.

The other party will not forgive him again.

There is also a faint voice in Lu Hanqian's heart, saying stubbornly in a low voice, I am not wrong, but I am not wrong......

He slowly closed his eyes, refusing to think about it anymore, a bit like escaping.After lying down for a long time, Lu Hanqian tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep no matter what, quietly turned over and looked out of the room.

From his angle, he could vaguely see some light coming from the bathroom.

There was only a small corner, very dark, Lu Hanqian just stared at the light in that small corner in a daze.

Is it really that hard to accept... He thought in a daze, isn't it just to bite, if Lin Yan wants, he can also bite Lin Yan... He just wanted to confirm that this person is All to myself.

Lu Hanqian wanted to drag Lin Yan out of the bathroom, no matter whether Lin Yan was willing or not, he would do it for him once.

Swallowed Lin Yan's things neatly, and told him: Now it's okay, we're even.Don't vomit, don't vomit, what a big deal...

But Lu Hanqian still didn't do that.

He stared at the slippers in front of him in a daze, for a long while, then smiled self-deprecatingly, come on, I don't know how disgusting you are in my heart now, and I'm still rushing to get up to you, so cheap?

The night temperature in winter is very low.After putting his arms outside the quilt for a while, Lu Hanqian felt panicked from the cold.He reached out and touched the quilt next to him, and it was no longer warm.

The light in the bathroom was still on, Lin Yan didn't know how long he would have to vomit.

This house was rented by Lin Yan. It was close to the office, but it was cold in winter and hot in summer.

He refused to accept anything from Lu Hanqian, so Lu Hanqian had no choice but to move his belongings here to live with Lin Yan.He is a son who is used to enjoying himself, spending the winter in this kind of small house without floor heating, he is really suffering.

The last time Lin Yan was on a business trip, Lu Hanqian finally seized the opportunity to install floor heating secretly, but the landlord was troubled, so he ran to call Lin Yan to thank him. Lin Yan immediately warned Lu Hanqian that he had to get out or stay still .

The night is cold and cold, and the moonlight melts on the ground through the curtains, like a handful of bright first snow.

Lu Hanqian remained silent for a moment, then got up from the bed, squatted down to the bedside and looked for the remote control from the drawer.

The air conditioner beeped softly, the indicator light was on, and warm air was blowing out soon.

Lu Hanqian tiptoed to the door and gently opened the bedroom door.

He stretched out his hand to explore the direction of the airflow, and couldn't help but curse in his heart:

...Damn, I don't know if this broken air conditioner can blow hot air into the bathroom.

***

Lin Yan spent the whole night in the bathroom making trouble with him. The next day, Lu Hanqian woke up and found that he hadn't come back yet.Looking into the bathroom, I saw Lin Yan curled up in a corner, leaning against the washstand and falling asleep.

He was wearing a thin light blue pajamas, just sitting on the cold tiles.

His head was tilted to the right, his brows were slightly frowned, as if he was still preoccupied in his sleep.

The neckline of the pajamas was rubbed and wrinkled, probably because she vomited too much last night, and finally had no strength, so she leaned on the sink, leaned on it and fell asleep.

Lu Hanqian's hands were too strong, there were still faint fingerprints on Lin Yan's cheek where he was pinched yesterday, reflected on the fine white skin, there was a shocking sense of cruelty.

But even so, Lin Yan is still beautiful.

At 06:30 in the morning, the thin sunlight came in from the high windows, covering the ground with a layer of pale gold.

Half of his cheeks fell in the shadow of the washstand, and half of his cheeks were bathed in the faint morning light. With the bridge of his nose as the dividing line, his skin was like translucent white jade.

— It’s like some kind of metaphor.Lin Yan has always stood at the boundary between light and shadow like this.

Half of it is bone-piercing darkness, and the other half is warm and fiery faith.

Lu Hanqian stood at the door, quietly looking at this "picture of beauty sleeping in spring".

After a while, he walked over and lightly picked Lin Yan up.

In the bed, Lin Yan's side was already cold, but Lu Hanqian's side was still warm.

Lu Hanqian put Lin Yan in his hot quilt, and went to sleep on Lin Yan's cold quilt by himself.

But in fact, at this point, Lu Hanqian didn't feel sleepy, he just wanted to lie down with Lin Yan for a while longer.

After all, this is one of the few times when they can live in harmony.

For Lu Hanqian, Lin Yan is the white rose among the thorns.

He obviously has an entire garden, but he only wants to get Lin Yan.

Even if this rose pierced his hands with blood and hurt his heart, Lu Hanqian was still reluctant to let go.

...Reluctantly.

...I can't bear it.

Lu Hanqian lay down with Lin Yan for another hour.

He didn't dare put his arms around Lin Yan, fearing that Lin Yan would wake up if he moved, so he bent one arm to support his head, and looked at him silently.

With his eyes, he caressed every inch of Lin Yan's cheeks, from the lingering and graceful eyebrows, to the straight bridge of the nose, to the dull and sharp thin lips.

Lin Yan's collarbone is also delicate and beautiful, it only protrudes a little bit, and there are two dimples above it.

Lu Hanqian used to joke with others that he liked Lin Yan's tricks.

From now on, he was really eaten to death by Lin Yan.

Lin Yan's name became a kind of mantra, encircling Lu Hanqian's heart completely.

Perhaps Lin Yan didn't know that he could take a big piece of Lu Hanqian's heart away with just a slight movement of his little finger.

If it was possible, even if Lin Yan said he wanted the moon in the sky, Lu Hanqian would find a way to smash it down for him.

Lu Hanqian had ten thousand ways to treat him well, but Lin Yan was like the moon in the flower water in the mirror, Lu Hanqian would never be able to touch him.

Life and death drove Lu Hanqian crazy.

07:30, if you don't get up again, Lu Hanqian will be late.

Before leaving, he set the indoor temperature of the air conditioner, and tucked up the corners of the quilt for Lin Yan.

Lin Yan's hand was outside the quilt, and Lu Hanqian was about to put it in for him, but when he got closer, he found that Lin Yan's hand was injured.

They are all very new small openings, some are very shallow, and some are still oozing blood slowly.

Lu Hanqian paused.He didn't remember that Lin Yan hurt his hand when doing it yesterday.

... These wounds were probably made by Lin Yan himself in the bathroom.

Lu Hanqian once mentioned inadvertently that the first time he saw Lin Yan was when he was playing the piano, those ten slender and fair fingers danced on the black and white keys, and the notes jumped out like flowing water.

It was a dull and generous symphony of fate, but in the atmosphere of despair, Lin Yan played it with a special vitality, vague and obscure, gentle and silent.

The first time Lu Hanqian saw him play the piano was also the last time.

After they were together, Lin Yan never touched the keys of the piano again, and he even felt some kind of hatred for his own hands.

...Hate it for attracting Lu Hanqian's attention, so that he brought disaster on himself.

Also because of this, whenever there was a conflict with Lu Hanqian, Lin Yan would involuntarily scratch his hand whenever he was in pain, watching the blood ooze out one by one, but he didn't seem to feel the pain.

Lu Hanqian held Lin Yan's hand and looked at it quietly for a while, struggled for a while, and then slowly let go without bandaging him.

This is a subtle psychology.It's a bit like the deserters on the battlefield in ancient times. They have obviously discarded their helmets and armors, but they still have to support the field, pretending to be calm and composed.

Lu Hanqian finally realized that in this playful game, he had already become the defeated side, but he still had to do his best to sing the last empty plan in front of Lin Yan.

He changed his clothes, and when he finally put on his tie, he stood in front of the bed and looked at Lin Yan quietly for a while.

Lin Yan's breathing was slow and long, his thin body was covered under the quilt, and his chest rose and fell slightly.

As if possessed by a demon, Lu Hanqian bent down very slowly, and slowly approached Lin Yan——

As if wanting to place a kiss on the corner of his forehead.

...But when his breath hit Lin Yan's eyelashes and was about to touch them, he suddenly stopped.

As if regaining consciousness, he straightened up suddenly.Then he walked out of the room quickly without looking back.

Lin Yan slowly opened his eyes after the door rang, confirming that Lu Hanqian had gone out.

He stared blankly at the ceiling for a while, then pulled the quilt up to cover the tip of his nose.Fall asleep again.

In the afternoon, Lin Yan slept for six or seven hours before waking up groggy.

He turned on his phone habitually, wanting to see if there were any new emails, but he saw two text messages.

One was for the senior lawyer, asking Lin Yan if he had time in the afternoon, so he could go to his place.

...The other one belongs to Zhao Yu.

There were only a few numbers on it, but Lin Yan's heart almost missed a beat——

He asked, Lin Lu, do you want to leave Lu Hanqian?