To die

It was about a year ago, on a very rainy summer night.

There was lightning and thunder in the sky, and Lin Yan picked up a large cardboard box from the side of the road, which contained six dying kittens.Weeping softly.

Lin Yan wrapped them up with his coat, and he was drenched all over, but he didn't feel cold.

He squatted on the stairs of the office, watching the litter of kittens quietly and carefully.

Raindrops kept dripping from the strands of hair, "clacking" down the neck and rolling into the neckline.

Feeling helpless and at a loss, Lin Yan called the little nurse he knew well.Ask her if she knows how to do emergency treatment for a kitten whose eyes are too rotten to open.

"I'm not a veterinarian." The little nurse tilted her head, looked at Lin Yan with a smile, and stuck out her tongue. "You asked me this out of the blue. I really didn't dare to talk nonsense."

Lin Yan was a little embarrassed, lowered his eyes to look at the road under his feet, and said softly, "I'm sorry for causing you trouble."

"Hey, no trouble, no trouble."

The little nurse quickly waved her hand, "I also like cats quite a bit. If you ask me, I'm too happy."

All six cats survived.

Lin Yan kept raising her for more than half a year, until Lu Hanqian appeared later.

"It was later, why did you send them out?"

The little nurse asked: "I think you like them very much... how sad you have been raising them for so long."

Lin Yan was silent for a long while, and said "um" lightly, without answering.

Of course he liked those cats.

Since he was 19 years old, he has lived alone without a relative in this world.

When he was off work, there were lights in the windows of every house, and only he opened the door, facing the thick, cold darkness.

No one had ever waited for Lin Yan to come home.

The half year of raising a cat was Lin Yan's happiest half year.

Every day as soon as the door was opened, six cats would rush out from all corners of the room, rub into his arms, nest at his feet, and whine and roll over him.

...Unfortunately, Lu Hanqian moved in later.

Lu Hanqian is irritable, unpredictable, moody.

Lin Yan couldn't protect himself, let alone these cats.Had to send them all out.

"I'm afraid that when something happens to me, no one will raise them."

Lin Yan smiled faintly, and said in a low voice, "It's better to take the opportunity and find a place for them first."

"...Bah bah bah!"

When the little nurse heard this, she immediately interrupted him: "What unlucky words are you talking about, Lawyer Lin! You are so kind, you will definitely live a long life!"

Lin Yan shook his head with a smile, he didn't know what to think of, suddenly sighed lightly, and didn't speak.

"Can you still raise puffs?" Lin Yan asked.

Back then, a cat was given to the little nurse, but today he inadvertently caught a glimpse of a silver ring on the little nurse's finger, and it was likely that she was going to get married.

"Well, what?"

When he said this, the little nurse was stunned for a while.

Then, as Lin Yan's eyes fell on his fingers, he tightened his fingers in a hurry as if he was being burned, and hid them in his pocket helplessly.

She unnaturally rolled up a strand of hair beside her ear, and said in a low voice, "...ah, this one... yes, yes."

After a while of silence, the little nurse smiled slightly, her eyes were red, she didn't know what it meant, and said very lightly, "Lawyer Lin, don't worry, the cat you gave me...I will always kept."

What does this feeling look like? It's as if the boy in the next class who I thought about in my youth met again by chance in the crowd many years later.

He is still the same as you remember, tall and thin, white and clean, but you are holding the toddler in your left hand, and the vegetables you are going to take home with your right hand.

After time has passed, you are more numerous than before.

The little nurse liked Lin Yan.

She had noticed this particular young man since his first visit to the hospital.I like his appearance, like his soft-spoken words, like his slightly drooping black and blue eyelashes when he is reading files in the ward.

But in addition to liking, there are many other things that must be considered in reality.

The difference between her and Lin Yan's work, the difference between Lin Yan's family background, and the difference between Lin Yan's life pursuit...these have become a deep gap between them.

The little nurse's family is in the local area, and her parents are very wealthy. They don't have too high demands on her, and they just hope that she can live a stable life.

When Lin Yan talked about the case, he was the little nurse's favorite way.

Such a high-spirited youthful spirit seems to be shining.

But when she watched Lin Yan come in with all kinds of big and small injuries again and again, besides heartache, there was also fear.

——The fear of those powerful forces hiding in the dark who confront Lin Yan head-on.

After all, she couldn't be as brave as Lin Yan.

It is enough to dare to stand in a far, safe place and watch him quietly.

"In the future, you should be careful at work..." The little nurse sniffed, lowered her eyes, and whispered, "Don't stay up late to read materials, it's bad for your health..."

Lin Yan didn't know why she suddenly mentioned this, nodded, and responded, "Yes."

"I really want to know."

The little nurse curled up her fingers hidden in her pocket, lowered her head, suppressed a slight choking sob, mustered up her courage, and asked softly with a slightly nasal voice:

"Lawyer Lin, what kind of girl will you fall in love with in the future? How happy it must be to be liked by such a nice you... I really, really envy her."

Lin Yan paused, suddenly understood, and suddenly smiled dumbly.

"Miss Zhang..."

He thought carefully for a while, looked at the little nurse gently, and after a long time, said softly, "It's not that you are not good enough, it's me, I don't like girls in the first place."

"......what?"

The little nurse was startled, and immediately raised her head in surprise.

"Also, I'm not as good as you think."

Lin Yan smiled gently and said in a low voice, "What I want has always been simple."

"I want to have someone I like, and he also likes me. The two of us went to Yunnan to open an acre of land, where we planted half an acre of garlic seedlings and half an acre of cabbage, enough for the two of us to eat every day. We lived like this until we were 80 years old. , and then find a sunny day, hold hands, and die together on the bed. In this way, we can still be together in the next life."

"..."

The little nurse laughed when she heard it, and tears fell at the same time. She choked up and said, "Lawyer Lin, your dream is really interesting...but it will definitely come true."

Lin Yan smiled, didn't say anything, took out a tissue from his pocket, and handed it over, "We're almost at the hospital, just wipe it off."

The little nurse took the tissue, and after a while, her eyes were red again, she raised her face and asked Lin Yan softly, "Lawyer Lin, can I give you a hug?...It's just a hug between friends."

Lin Yan paused and did not move.

"My fiancé met on a blind date, and the family conditions are very good, but he already has two outer rooms."

The little nurse said hoarsely, "He won't mind... If Lawyer Lin thinks it's not good, then forget it."

Lin Yan sighed, walked over, and gave the little nurse a hug in front of the elevator: "It's just a hug between friends."

The little nurse smelled the faint ancient tree and Cangshan-like fragrance on Lin Yan's scarf, and heard him whisper to herself:

"If you don't like it, go fight for your own life. Miss Zhang, be brave..."

Well, be brave.

The little nurse closed her eyes and thought with tears, since I met you, I have become much braver than before, Lawyer Lin.

The elevator happened to ding. When it reached the first floor, Lin Yan sent the little nurse in, and said, "I'm going to buy a bunch of lilies. I happened to be in the hospital. I'll go to the client to have a look later."

The little nurse nodded, and waved at him with red eyes, "Well, goodbye, Lawyer Lin."

Lin Yan said goodbye to her, watched the elevator door close again, then turned around and walked back slowly.

——But I didn't want all of this to fall into the eyes of Lu Hanqian who was not far away.

He saw Lin Yan talking and laughing with the little nurse, he saw him hugging the little nurse, he saw the two of them hugging each other and whispering intimately!

When Lin Yan walked to the flower shop in front of the hospital, Lu Hanqian called.

He took it out and took a look, frowned, but didn't answer.

But soon Lu Hanqian called the second one, and the third one.

Lin Yan had no choice but to take it while paying the flower shop owner.

"Where is it?"

Lu Hanqian was so strangely calm, his calm voice came from the receiver.

He was sitting in the Maybach parked on the side of the road, less than 50 meters away from Lin Yan, fingering the petals of the bright red roses.

Lin Yan hugged Lily, walked back slowly, and said in a cold tone, "Office, work overtime."

"Oh, that's pretty busy."

Lu Hanqian laughed, and asked in a hoarse voice, "Then why are you so noisy over there, it sounds like you're on the side of the main road."

"..."

Lin Yan glanced at the traffic lights, switched his phone to the quieter side of the sidewalk, and said in silence, "The signal is not good."

Lu Hanqian was silent and did not speak for a long time.

"It's okay, I'll hang up," Lin Yan said.

Lu Hanqian looked at him through the car window, tapped his fingers rhythmically on the side of the car door.

After a long time, he still asked, "... What time are you coming back today?"

"do not know."

Lin Yan said coldly, and according to Lu Hanqian's inertia, he probably guessed what he wanted to do: "If you can't help it, go rub against the electric pole first."

But this time Lu Hanqian was not angry.

"Lin Yan."

He rolled his Adam's apple and said slowly, "You won't go on a date with a little girl behind my back, will you?"

This was his last chance for Lin Yan.

Lu Hanqian thought, if Lin Yan told the truth and promised not to associate with the little nurse in the future, he would pretend that this had never happened; but if Lin Yan continued to lie to him, then——

"Lu Hanqian, are you sick?"

However, Lin Yan said annoyedly, with a cold tone, "...I'm really not feeling well recently, can you go find someone else today?"

Lu Hanqian raised his head, rolled his Adam's apple, pursed his lips, looked at the sky, and laughed very softly.

"what......"

He heard himself say: "... Lin Yan, what do you think you are? - a fucking doll that I play with, dare to negotiate terms with me?"

Seeing that Lu Hanqian started to go crazy again, Lin Yan frowned, and subconsciously wanted to hang up the phone.

However, before that, Lu Hanqian took a long leg and got out of the car.

He said to Lin Yan: "Lin Guyan, look to the left."

Lin Yan tilted his head, the next moment——

He bought it not long ago, and the lily in his arms fell to the ground with a "snap".