[Comprehensive British and American] God's life is difficult and how to break it

Forum Name: Everyone is a Paparazzi

Main section: Dog food that fell from the sky

Sub-forum: Burn Burn Burn

Topic post: The single Wang has something to say about being shown by his roommates and his girlfriend every day, eating dog food to his full, and saving a lot of food money! !

Landlord ID: the male Wang behind

Topic post:

Why? ? ? ?It seems that I chose the wrong sub-forum?Although I eat dog food every day, I don't want to burn it, I am their hardcore CP fan!I study how to change the forum @administrator.

1L Admin:

Dear user, unless you receive a large number of user complaints [this post chooses the wrong forum], otherwise you can't change the forum if you choose it.

For more details, please click the link: "Everyone is a Paparazzi Forum User Notice"

The male Wang behind 2L (host):

@admin cry!

Do you want me to ballball everyone to complain about me?Forget it, let's leave it at that for now, go back and find some professional buddies to help move the post to the next door.

Closer to home, strictly abide by the user instructions of the forum, let me introduce myself first: I am a male, love technology... oh no, I love women, I have no good looks, a docile personality, and I am stationed in Zhugushengzhou of the United States of Singles all year round. He is a general who maintains the stability of the border of the Single Wang United States.

The object of this post's complaints is the host's high school friend and college roommate. He is called Xiaochong here, and his female ticket is called Mrs. Chong.

3L:

next door?Where is next door?

6L:

Back to 3L, do you seem stupid?Next door is another sub-section [Sweet Sweet] of [Dog Food From the Sky]!It's a place where couples or singles throw dog food wildly, it's super healing!

7L:

Pfft, Xiao Chong & Mrs. Chong, are you a fan of "A Bug's Life"?

8L:

Zhu Gushengzhou of the United States of Wang who is single hahahahaha, the host is really humorous.

The male Wang behind 9L (host):

Back to 7L, there is a reason for this name, but I can't disclose the specific reason, um.

Back to 8L, if you want to see the real host, you won't call the host "Ke Rener".

Closer to home again.

Xiaochong is the only good friend of the poster in high school. The relationship is so strong that it is difficult to describe it in words. It belongs to the kind of friend who is willing to give up his life for the other party. Can you get it?And Mrs. Chong is a true goddess who is fair, beautiful, long-legged and luxurious but not at all pretentious, who transferred to the next class halfway. Huh, it's a long paragraph. The host almost died after reading it.

Since the landlord and Xiaochong are marginal characters who have no sense of existence in school (mainly because their IQ is too high, ordinary people cannot understand our brain circuits), so we can stare at beautiful girls without any scruples.I admit that our behavior is very obscene, but who of you dare to touch your conscience and say that you have never stared lewdly at a good-looking girl/boy in school?Everyone has the love of beauty!

Because of this, after learning that the new transfer student is a beautiful woman, the host immediately rushed to the lab to find Xiao Chong.The landlord is very selfless, is there any wood?Completely Gou Fugui, let's stare together, is there anything?

Host: "Hurry up! There's a beautiful girl in the class next door! I heard she's of Greek descent, let's go and fuck—"

Xiao Chong interrupted me: "Oh, I know."

The landlord: "You know what a fart! You are a dead house, and you haven't left the door of the laboratory in the afternoon!"

Xiaochong looked at the host innocently: "I really know, because she is standing behind you. Hi, XXX (Ms. Chong's Christian name, mosaic here)!"

Then a soft and crisp female voice sounded behind the host: "Good afternoon, XX (the Christian name of Xiao Chong, here is the mosaic)! Is this ZZ (the host's Christian name, here is the mosaic)?"

The landlord suddenly froze: "..."

It's so embarrassing!

Fortunately, Xiaochong interrupted the poster wittily, and did not let the poster finish saying "Let's go and stare wretchedly", otherwise the picture must be beautiful, with traces of rose-red blood floating in the air and milk dripping on the ground White brains - you don't know how cruel Mrs. Chong is!

The landlord broke out in a cold sweat, and it took a long time before he turned around weakly, and greeted Mrs. Chong (although she was not at the time) angrily: "Hi..."

Mrs. Chong smiled brightly at the landlord: "Hi!"

Damn!It was the first time in my life that a girl greeted the host, but the host was not prepared at all, her hands were numb, her feet were numb, her eyes were straight, and the whole dog was not well!The landlord hurriedly cast a look at Xiaochong asking for help, but Xiaochong didn't receive it? !What about the tacit agreement?What about letting the landlord be his "man behind the scenes"?

The weak landlord leaned weakly against the edge of the experimental operation table, watching his relatives and friends running around the laboratory with red faces, looking for a chair for Mrs. Chong, a water cup for Mrs. Find tissues.

The landlord felt contemptuous, looking at Xiaochong's worthless appearance, it seemed like he had never seen the world——

Oh, sorry, he really hasn't seen the world :)

11L:

Add me on Facebxxk([email protected]) to watch Duck Detective take a bath.

12L:

Film sellers go!

14L:

Tsk tsk tsk, it sounds like the host has seen the world.

In addition, the landlord, please reflect on why you were targeted by film sellers.

15L:

I'm just curious how the landlord knows that Mrs. Chong is cruel?Could it be... the landlord has offended Mrs. Chong, so he has personally experienced it?

18L:

Flower wipe!Brother's wife can't be bullied, landlord, you can't be sorry for Xiao Chong!

20L:

What the hell is the man behind it?Isn't it just friends?We understand the landlord, rest assured, we do not discriminate against you.

23L:

Everyone upstairs is talking nonsense, just nonsense.

From then on, the exclusive [Lego Staring Event] between the landlord and Xiaochong is no longer exclusive, and the fixed [Lego Night] every Friday night has also developed from a two-person configuration to a three-person configuration.

Yes, you read that right, Mrs. Worm (though not yet) joined our team.

The landlord was very angry: "What are you doing? Why do you add a girl to the straight man's activities? And she is also a beautiful girl! Didn't you notice that the attention we both received at school has skyrocketed? This makes people very upset I'm not used to it!"

Xiaochong: "She just arrived in N city, she doesn't have any friends—"

Host: "Wait a minute, how did you know that she just--no, there is something I forgot to ask you: why did you know her Christian name the first time you met Mrs. Chong? Are you familiar with each other?"

Xiao Chong stammered: "Well, I've seen her before, who is her father?"

The landlord was shocked: "Is the one you mentioned the one I thought?!"

Xiaochong: "Yeah, a few days ago her dad held a [[-] sentences that reveal privacy here] held for her, and I was there at that [[-] sentences that reveal privacy here], so we had an early I got acquainted."

The landlord was stunned: "Are you talking about the [[-] sentences that expose privacy are omitted here] held by [[-] sentences that expose privacy]? Oh my god, my big brother, you are well-developed ! You have become [[-] sentences that reveal privacy are omitted here] of [[-] sentences that expose privacy are omitted here]!"

Xiaochong scratched his head embarrassingly: "It's okay, don't say it!"

Landlord: "Okay!"

Then the host completely forgot the reason for his anger, and successfully made Xiao Chong crooked QAQ

27L:

……

The mosaic of the poster is really fresh and refined, who will translate the different meanings of [[-] sentences that reveal privacy here] in that passage?

29L I want to run for the class representative:

I will solve the problem!

It is known that there are a total of six [[-] sentences that expose privacy are omitted here]. According to the context and logical inference, the meanings (should) represented by [[-] sentences that expose privacy are omitted here] are (should) in order:

①: Some kind of special event, maybe a banquet or party.

②: Same as ①.

③: Some kind of special purpose, it may be to celebrate something related to Mrs. Chong, such as birthdays and coming-of-age ceremonies.

④: Same as ①.

⑤⑥: Well, the details given here are too few, maybe it refers to so-and-so's friends, or members of some other organization?

Now let us substitute the above meaning into the original words, and the conclusion is:

Xiaochong: "Yeah, her dad held a banquet/party for her a few days ago, and I was there at that banquet/party, so we have known each other for a long time."

The host was stunned: "Are you talking about the banquet/party held by someone to celebrate Mrs. Chong? Oh my god, my big brother, you have developed! You have become a friend/member of so-and-so/what-and-what organization! "

31L:

Upstairs surprised class representative!

34L:

I'm going to copy Xueba's homework!

36L:

The mosaic that the landlord worked so hard to crack was cracked hahahaha!

The male Wang behind 40L (host):

Back to 29L, flower wipe!The class representative is you!Then I will ban you!Read my private message!

43L I want to run for the class representative:

I saw the private message, okay, I get it, the host.

[The landlord has blocked the content of 29L]

[The landlord has blocked the content of 29L]

[The landlord has blocked the content of 29L]

46L:

? ? ? 29L missing?What kind of shady py transaction happened between the landlord and the class representative?

47L:

I came late and didn't see the knowledge points, so Xueba shared notes.

The male Wang behind 50L (host):

From then on, the landlord, Xiao Chong, and Chong's sister-in-law have become a strange and beautiful landscape on the campus.

When eating, the three of us sat in a row, Xiaochong sat in the middle, and the landlord and Mrs. Chong sat on both sides of him.

While eating the hamburger, Mrs. Chong suddenly said, "Wow! The girl with the banner is so beautiful!"

The landlord and Xiaochong raised their heads with a "whoosh" and echoed in their mouths:

"that is true!"

"The legs are so long!"

While drinking Coke, Mrs. Chong said again: "Hey, teacher XX has changed her lipstick, it looks like el154."

"How did you see it?"

"What is 154? Some kind of code?"

"No! 154 is the color number @#￥%...&"

"I see!"

"Oh!"

……

We get along so harmoniously that we lost the original meaning of [wretched stare].Overnight, the reputation of the host and Xiaochong changed from "freak with high IQ" to "goddess and her staff". Xiaochong is the bodyguard and the host is the nanny.

Everyone in the school is asking: "What's the situation? The goddess is playing with them for Mao? I can understand being with Xiao Chong, but what the hell is ZZ (referring to the landlord)?"

The landlord is bitter, but the landlord is generous by nature and doesn't care about them like them.

The landlord looked for Xiao Chong and roared: "She has been in N City for several days!"

Xiaochong didn't know, so: "So?"

The landlord held his breath: "So why is she still hanging out with us? [Worry staring] has lost its original meaning! Do you know that I am too embarrassed to stare at pretty girls for too long in front of her!"

Xiaochong: "You didn't dare before."

The landlord went crazy: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Xiaochong handed the landlord a glass of Coke: "Calm down."

The landlord took a sip of Coke and said calmly, "Do you like her?"

Xiao Chong's face was as red as ketchup: "No...no, it's her father who asked me to take care of her more at school."

The landlord was not forgiving: "You just like her, you don't sit with me in geometry class, and you are busy helping her with experiments in chemistry class."

Xiao Chong's face was as red as a purple eggplant: "Nonsense...nonsense."

The landlord suddenly pointed at the door: "Ah, why are you here, Mrs. Chong?"

Xiao Chong jumped up with a "whoosh", his fingers quickly stroked the messy hair, and quickly checked his clothes.

The landlord showed a meaningful smile: "Hee hee, I lied to you."

53L:

The landlord is really badbad!

56L:

The landlord vividly explained what it means to be "jealous".

57L:

The landlord should write more about the interaction between Xiao Chong and Mrs. Chong!

60L:

I defend the host against injustice, why is Xiaochong the bodyguard but the host is the nanny!

The male Wang behind 67L (host):

Back to 57L, will write.

Back to 60L, because Xiao Chong has good physical fitness, and the host has a superpower to discover delicious food and has a gentle personality.

The landlord and Xiao Chong have long been used to the malicious sarcasm and sarcasm spread by school bullies, but Mrs. Chong is very angry: "Why? Why do they have the right to be mean to you?"

Those few days Xiaochong went out to participate in the competition, the host was afraid that she would cause trouble, so he quickly said: "It's okay, we are used to it, really."

Mrs. Chong became even angrier when she heard this: "Are you used to it? How long have you been bullied? Where is my nine-foot chain baseball bat?"

The landlord took a peek at the locker where the baseball bat was hidden: "Forget it, let's be generous and not argue with them—"

"No!" Mrs. Chong flicked her long hair, "What are you talking about with school bullies? I have to haggle with them. It's okay to bully you, but to bully the cute little bug—"

She blushed suddenly and stopped talking.

Landlord: ... Meow meow? ? ?

Landlord: "Did you just—"

Mrs. Chong: "No!"

Landlord: "It means you like bugs—"

Mrs. Chong: "You misunderstood!"

Landlord: "I clearly heard—"

Mrs. Chong: "That's an illusion!"

Landlord: "But—"

Mrs. Chong: "Where do school bullies usually go after school?"

Host: "Confine the classroom or the playground, wait a minute, don't change the subject—"

However, Mrs. Chong has already rushed out like a tornado across the farmland. The host moved his two short legs with difficulty, and the pumpkin rolled behind him, shouting, "Don't be impulsive!"

Subsequent content may expose three-dimensional privacy, so the host will not describe in detail, just write a few pictures for everyone to make up.

Mrs. Chong found the school bully and said that she wanted to have a private talk with him. The school bully's friends made a fuss, but the host was still crawling on the way to the sports field.

The landlord went to the sports field after going through hardships, and then heard the school bully's screams from the equipment room, and the school bully's friends were stunned.

The bully was terrified, crying and yelling, crawled out of the equipment room, and dragged his friends away, while Mrs. Chong held a seated rowing machine in one hand and smiled at the host: "Are you here?"

Landlord: "...what are you holding in your hand?"

Mrs. Chong threw the sitting rowing machine casually, and it hit the ground with a loud "boom": "Oh, it's a model made of foam."

The landlord looked at the small hole on the floor that was smashed by the equipment in a complicated mood: "#￥%...&*"

Mrs. Chong affectionately handed the landlord a cup of Coke: "Don't worry, I'll cover you, he won't dare to bully you again in the future!"

The landlord took a sip of Coca-Cola: "How did you—"

Mrs. Chong built a pergola with her hands and looked into the distance: "I really want to eat Lao food."

The host said quickly: "I know where there are authentic Lao dishes, let's go and I'll take you there to eat!"

Then there was no more. After eating Lao food, the host went back and gained a full five catties.

68L:

Am I the only one who wonders how Mrs. Chong raised her sitting position?Listen to sink ah!

70L:

Could Mrs. Chong be a superpower acquirer? City N?New York...it makes sense.

73L:

Wow, are Xiao Chong and Mrs. Chong a two-way crush?I like it I like it!Faster and faster!

The male Wang behind 76L (host):

That night, the host lay on the bed, touched his round belly, and thought for a long time.

The landlord decided to match the two of them, but the landlord didn't quite understand how to do it.

So the host got up and watched several classic love movies, watched the scenes of the assists very carefully, and finally came to a conclusion: "Assists, it is to create opportunities for the protagonists to get along alone, and to solve their conflicts for them at the right time. .”

That weekend, the host watched dozens of love movies, wrote a notebook of "God's Assisting Experience", and put it into practice on Monday.

The host is full of expectations, the host is eager to try, the host is restless, and it is hard to wait until Monday, the host successfully——

have a fever.

The host cried and fainted in the emergency room holding his laptop: "No, I still want to benefit mankind!"

The nurse sister looked at the electronic thermometer and shook her head: "No, the temperature has risen again, and I'm starting to talk nonsense."

The doctor in charge said: "Notify the family members to go through the hospitalization procedures, you give him an injection first."

Landlord: TAT

In the afternoon, Xiao Chong and Mrs. Chong made an appointment to skip biology class and Spanish gram, and came to visit the host with delicious food. The two sat beside the hospital bed.

Xiaochong said, "I'll organize your notes for you."

Mrs. Chong said: "It's your favorite typesetting method."

Xiao Chong said: "The font is your favorite Chalkbord."

Mrs. Chong said, "Ink is your favorite brand."

Xiao Chong said, "Get well soon!"

Mrs. Chong said: "We don't know what can and can't eat the dishes in the cafeteria when you're not here."

Take a look, look at the tacit understanding between the two of them, the host couldn't help but be happy, with a kind smile on his mouth, he hurriedly urged Xiao Chong to confess his love while Mrs. Chong was away.

As a result, the unsatisfied young man blushed and hesitated for a while, and then choked out a sentence: "Let's talk... Let's talk..."

This time, he discussed it again for several years...

Not to mention that the host did not work hard to match, the host really tried his best, and everything the host has experienced in order to promote the development of their relationship is enough to get a CEO position in a top dating club.However, the two of them are just shy, they can be all kinds of nympho behind each other's backs, and they are shy when they see each other, the host is also very desperate!

In this way, wasted wasted, we graduated from high school.

80L:

? ? ?High school is over?Why can't I see anything?

82L:

No, which episode did I miss?

84L:

Strongly protest against the landlord's way of expressing the head and the tail!I don't believe that Xiaochong and Mrs. Chong are not pink at all!

87L:

Dewdrop, you big|fart|eye|son!

The male Wang behind 92L (host):

Of course there is pink, for example, the two of them stay together every day, and for example, Mrs. Chong is not good at biology and chemistry, so Xiao Chong helps her organize her notes and do her homework.What's funny is that every time he would seriously teach Mrs. Chong: "You have to write your homework yourself, I can't help you in the SAT test room!"

Mrs. Chong looked at him with grievances, looked at the exercise book in front of her bitterly, and then looked at Xiao Chong with tears in her eyes.

The host was eating cheese sticks on the sidelines and watched strongly, secretly counting how many times the above conversation had happened.

Sure enough, Xiao Chong didn't hold on for a few seconds before giving in: "Okay, okay..."

"Yeah!" Mrs. Chong jumped up cheering, "I'll go buy you something to eat!"

But the snacks Mrs. Chong bought, Xiao Chong was busy with homework and had no time to eat, so all of them went into the stomach of the host, hehe.

Oh yes, the host once gave advice to Mrs. Chong in private: "He is busy, you can feed him!"

Mrs. Chong stammered: "Then... how embarrassing that is!"

The landlord raised his forehead: "Woman, how dare you rush into the men's locker room to settle accounts with the boss of the football team?"

Mrs. Chong twisted her fingers: "Hey, I have no feelings for them. Looking at their flesh is like looking at pork."

Host: "But I just want you to feed Xiao Chong a muffin, and I don't want you to strip him of his clothes..."

Mrs. Chong flew up and kicked the landlord to the ground: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

The host covered his buttocks with a confused face: "??? What did we honest people do wrong?"

95L:

Smoked pain landlord hahahahahahaha!

The male Wang behind 97L (host):

By the way, the two of them often meet to visit museums. At first, the host was interested in accompanying them. Later, they really couldn’t stand the mode of getting along with each other, shy and unable to take the next step, so they quit altogether.

Really, the host is willing to make light bulbs bravely for the happiness of his good brothers, but now the light bulbs are almost burnt out, and the protagonists have not yet entered the state, how embarrassing is this for the host?

Well, the high school stage is over, the host will go out to buy a bottle of Japanese soy sauce and come back to update.

99L:

Go out and buy a bottle of soy sauce and come back to update...

The familiar prelude to abandoning the pit...

101L:

After climbing all the stairs, I finally understand why I have been single for 30 years...

Say it out loud if you like it QAQ! ! ! !

104L:

Brother 101 is the truth.

105L:

Brother 99 and Brother 101 are both the truth.

Everyone leave, the host will not come back.

108L:

Landlord eunuch?

112L:

The landlord is indeed a eunuch.

The male Wang behind 117L (host):

Back to 105L, hehe, didn't expect that?

Go back to 112L, you are the eunuch.

Xiao Chong and Mrs. Chong established their relationship after graduating from high school. It is said that after they drank all the coffee houses in N City, they suddenly became blessed, with a flash of inspiration, a flash of love, and then they kissed frantically...

The landlord expressed doubts: "Kissing? Crazy? Are you afraid you are not cheating on me?"

Xiao Chong's eyes flicked around: "Uh...uh, I...seeing how soft her lips are, I can't help it..."

The landlord was extremely calm: "Don't talk, let me be quiet."

The landlord calmly walked into the living room of the dormitory, opened the window calmly, climbed up the window sill calmly, and raised his arms calmly and shouted: "My big brother is promising!!!!"

Xiao Chong dragged the host away with a blushing face: "Don't yell! Let me ask you... Then what, cough... If a person wants to kiss his girlfriend all the time, is it normal?"

The landlord quickly flipped through the notes: "Normal! It would be abnormal if this person didn't want to kiss! What's wrong?"

Xiaochong: "Then... what if you want to have more intimate contact?"

The landlord flipped through the notes again: "What kind of contact are you talking about?"

Xiao Chong's eyes flickered: "Forget it...forget it."

Landlord: "Hey? Brother, don't run away, tell me the key words, and I can go to Google!"

The big brother slipped so fast that he almost bumped into the other two dormitory members outside the door. Let's call them math brother and mechanical brother here.

The math brother asked: "What's wrong with the bug?"

The landlord closed the notebook: "Hurry up to find your girlfriend, hug her and hold her high."

Brother Ji was shocked: "What?! Our dormitory has a man who is out of order?!"

The landlord couldn't help being proud: "That's not it!"

Brother Mathematics always thinks he is superior to us, but when he heard that Xiaochong has a girlfriend, he immediately became unbalanced: "Hmph, what kind of girlfriend, right?"

The landlord has always been hostile to him, so he rolled his eyes: "I'm a childhood sweetheart, we've been together since high school, thank you."

Brother Ji was shocked again: "Huacha, true love!"

Brother Mathematics was disdainful, and whispered as he walked towards the room: "Why don't we just make a couple together, what kind of true love."

My buddies and sisters are disgusted by others, the landlord's lungs exploded!

The mechanical brother is even more embarrassed, because he and the mathematics brother are good friends, and he can't say bad things about his good friend in order to comfort the landlord (if he really said the landlord, he will look down on him), so he had to chat with the landlord casually, and then hugged The book slipped away.

The host sits in the living room and gets sulking, the more he thinks about it, the more he gets angry. After eating a few big bags of snacks, he can’t get rid of it. Just in time, Mrs. Chong called to ask for dinner. Hearing the host’s tone of voice, she asked, "Hey, how did you hear about eating?" It's not high at all, are you broken in love?"

Host: "Who is in love with me? Computer? Mouse? Keyboard?"

Mrs. Chong giggled: "Yo, it looks like I was bullied by a bitch. Tell me! Who is so bold to bully my big brother?"

The landlord described the ins and outs in an emphatic way, and Mrs. Chong was furious: "Who gave him confidence? Xiao Chong is so good, so cute, so understanding—er, anyway, who gave him the confidence to diss Xiao Chong?"

The landlord reminded her: "Honey, he still dissed you—"

Mrs. Chong raised her voice: "That's not important, but Xiao Chong!"

Unprepared, the landlord ate a mouthful of dog food: "Hey, you abused the dog."

Mrs. Chong laughed: "Leave them alone for now, come here first, I ordered the Thai restaurant you like."

So, the host happily hung up the phone, changed clothes and went to find them for dinner.

Who would have thought that the host didn't eat a few mouthfuls of Tom Yum Kung soup, salt-baked prawns, roasted pork neck, curry crab, wine-steamed basil clams, and garlic spinach, but a bowl full of dog food...

121L:

Insect sister-in-law's boyfriend power MAX!

123L:

Seeing that I am so hungry, I got up and ordered a takeaway and chased after it.

124L:

Landlord: I hate it!

127L:

Crying, the landlord has been abused!

134L:

Daily fumigation hurts the landlord, call for the landlord!

The author has something to say: I originally wanted to post it after I finished writing it. Seeing that there are at least [-] words left in the manuscript, I will post a paragraph first.The poster here is the male supporting role of "Spider-Man: Homecoming", a cute Asian brother. For the convenience of reading, only the main characters in the post have fixed vests.