A Thousand Mountains and Evening Snow: Searching for Love and Leaving Traces

There was a warm sun outside the window, I opened my hand towards the sun, and I caught the sun again.

I have done this before. Although I was young at that time, I have already experienced vicissitudes. Although I tried my best to grasp the warmth, I always felt so empty and empty.

Now I am standing in this snowy field under the sunlight, describing my own life.

Today is my birthday, the weather is fine, I hurried to the airport with the cardboard box I got from the landlady, Yueying called me, she is on the plane today, to help me celebrate my birthday.Me and her are still best friends even though I've been away for four years.

We played around like children for a day, and we returned to my residence very late. Yueying clamored to chat with me all night, but she still couldn't resist the tiredness and fell asleep, but I hugged her like every year today. The carton in my arms lost sleep.

The box is small and wrapped in beautiful paper. Although I haven't opened it, I know what's inside.Since I came to Germany, I have received such a cardboard box from the landlady every year on my birthday. There is no sender’s name, only the addressee “Tong Xue” on the box, not even a card .

I remember being very surprised when I received it in the first year. At that time, I opened the paper box in a panic, but what I saw was a box full of thousand paper cranes, colorful ones. That night, I lay down on the bed and counted all night. , no more, no less, 365 only.At first I thought it was Xiao Shan, because he was the only one who could fold paper cranes for me, and he seemed to know my address from Yue Ying, but my intuition kept giving me another answer, but I never dared to ask for confirmation. The real answer, I'm afraid it won't be the one I hoped for in the end.

So, I receive such a birthday present every year, but I don’t tell anyone, not even Yueying, as if it’s a secret, I don’t want to reveal it, I don’t want to explore it, and I can always guess The answer that I want most in the bottom of my heart.

I hid the box in the closet with the ones I had received before, and then I curled up under the covers, staring at the ceiling with my eyes open.The arrival of Yueying allowed me to truly touch my past. We were separated by such a long distance before, and I began to feel that those initial love-hate entanglements, hurt and being hurt have gradually moved away from me. Only those three The words are deeply engraved into my heart.But now, it seems that the memories from that time flooded back into my mind with Yue Ying's arrival.I still remember that I stabbed him with such sharp and vicious words, in the coffee shop where we first met, I think maybe after I hurt like that, it is impossible for him to say those three words to me again , because my body can still feel the trembling when he grabbed me and the words he gritted his teeth that day.

So, after crying at the airport, I chose to flee and came to Germany.When I first settled down in Germany, I couldn’t sleep well every night, and I often woke up from my dreams, but it was no longer for Xiaoshan, I always dreamed of the lonely and desolate back by the sea, slowly going away in the mist of the sea until dissipate.So I finally understood the pain of not being able to sleep at night. I remember that Butler Ding once told me that he often suffered from insomnia all night. Maybe he was in such pain at that time.

I didn't feel it until now.

I looked at Yue Ying, who was sleeping soundly beside me, she didn't seem to notice my tossing and turning at all.For four years, I kept in touch with her, and she would tell me everything that happened in her city, including her separation from Happy, Xiaoshan's situation, and Mu Zhenfei's rise in the business world. But there is no news about him. I understand that Yueying doesn't want to remind me of those past pains and start a new life, so I deliberately don't mention that name anymore, but I finally can't muster up the courage to do it. I took the initiative to ask about his condition, although I always suspected that he sent the boxes of paper cranes, but when I remembered the expression on his face when he told me to fuck off in hysterics and told me not to go to him again, my heart ached. The heart sank in the deepest place.

Yueying was going back to China, she was reluctant to say goodbye to me, and urged me to finish my studies and return to China as soon as possible.I nodded and waved goodbye to her.On the way back, I suddenly felt that my desire to go back was so strong, not only because of Yueying, but more because of my heart. I could no longer look at him in this foreign country, but even his love No news at all.

So, one week after Yueying returned to China, I returned to the city where too many things happened four years ago. What came back with me was a suitcase containing a phone that did not belong to me and the Those colorful paper cranes.

The sun shines on me, and I walk towards this city full of my love and hate under the sun.

The author has something to say:

A few years ago, after watching the TV series adaptation of the bandit "A Thousand Mountains and Evening Snow", I was very entangled in the ending of Mo Shaoqian and Tong Xue, and finally I couldn't help it. I serialized this derivative novel on Tieba, which satisfied my desire for this There is a wish for a happy ending to CP, I hope someone likes it.

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