What should I do if the double 11 express is sent to my ex-girlfriend?

Chen Yumu didn't know how long she cried, maybe it was because she was tired, maybe it was because of the pain, maybe it was because the alcohol was on her head, she fell asleep in a daze.

She had a lot of dreams, all about Shi Jing, about herself, about being with her grandmother when she was a child, and all the dreams ended with her standing alone in the same place.

At first, her parents left her. When her parents divorced, Chen Yumu was only four years old. Her first memory was that her parents were tearing and fighting. Grandma was holding her in the room, and she watched from the crack of the door. They seemed to be endless enemies, throwing things at home and tearing at each other.

Later, they finally separated, each established their own homes as quickly as fighting spirit, Chen Yumu's existence was like a shame and a scar, reminding the two of them of the relationship and past full of hostility and quarrels .

So, everyone wanted to get rid of this trouble by giving money. It was grandma who brought her home. Grandma's house was in the village. It was an old-fashioned yellow mud brick house. Behind the tile house was a dense bamboo forest. The light in the house was not Very good, even going in during the day is illuminated by dim electric lights.

But such a small tile-roofed house and kind grandma made up for Chen Yumu's missing childhood. At that time, grandma was still alive, and although the few uncles were not very filial, they were considered harmonious with grandma.

Grandma took Chen Yumu to several uncles' homes. Maybe Chen Yumu was cute and thin, and her uncles and aunts were kind to her.

The couple saw her once a year in the first year, and later paid money to see her once a year. After their grandmother passed away, they never contacted her again.He probably felt that if grandma wasn't around, all ties with her would be broken.

But everything came to an abrupt end with grandma's death, and her small world collapsed all of a sudden.Then she met Shi Jing, for Chen Yumu, Shi Jing had played many roles, she seemed to be the most important pillar in Chen Yumu's world.

She is an elder, a friend, a lover, a teacher... There are many, many roles. Chen Yumu always likes to give her many roles.

The last dream was that she was in the abyss, and Shi Jing stretched out a hand from the darkness, and she took her to soar in the sky. They looked at the mountains and the ocean, but when the picture changed...the sky collapsed, and in a hurry, she came from Shi Jing I was thrown into the swamp in my arms...

Pain...the unspeakable pain, she struggled, but found that she was sinking, and then the kind of suffocating and dying struggle...until she woke up...

Li Yilin didn't turn off all the lights, she left a very soft bedside lamp, so Chen Yumu opened her eyes in a daze and saw the dim light, she was a little dazed for a moment.

Then there was a feeling of dizziness in the head, a bit of pain in the mouth, and a feeling that the bladder was about to burst... She sat up with her body up, and felt a little dizzy for a while, but it was too urgent to urinate. She supported the bed, but couldn't find it. Shoes, she simply stepped on the carpet.

Then, leaning on the bed and the wall, she stumbled to the bathroom. The coldness of the bathroom floor woke her up.

Li Yilin didn't fall asleep all the time, and she knew it when Chen Yumu got up. She pretended to be lying down, but kept paying attention to the dynamics in the bathroom.

Li Yilin jumped up when he heard the sound of shattering glass. Fortunately, Chen Yumu didn't lock the door, so as soon as Li Yilin came in, he saw Chen Yumu facing the mouthwash glass that fell on the ground. Cup looked helpless.

Chen Yumu looked bewildered and fragile. When Li Yilin came in, she subconsciously looked up at Li Yilin, then at the broken cup on the ground, and said, "I didn't mean it, but it broke..."

Li Yilin was afraid that she would hurt him, so he walked over. Chen Yumu suddenly squatted down and wanted to clean up the broken cup. Finally, Li Yilin couldn't help but hugged her, pressed her firmly in his arms, and said, "Yes. , you didn't mean it."

Chen Yumu was still a little dazed by her hug, she looked up at Li Yilin, like a child who did something wrong, and explained in a panic: "I really didn't mean it, I just feel that my mouth is a bit bitter, I want to rinse my mouth , but the hand slipped and the cup fell."

Li Yilin felt that her heart was broken, the inexplicable soreness, why the girl she liked had to suffer such pain, she hugged her tightly, wishing to rub her into her body, and said: "Hmm... ...I know, you didn't mean to."

Probably because Li Yilin's embrace was so beautiful, Chen Yumu couldn't help stretching out his arms to hug her back, as if muttering to himself: "Well, Li Yilin, you just have to trust me."

Li Yilin was afraid that she would hurt him, so he hugged her out of the bathroom, put her on the bed again, covered her with a quilt, and said, "Go to sleep, wake up, everything will be fine."

Chen Yumu looked very obedient and said, "Okay."

Li Yilin wanted to go to the bathroom to clean up the mess. As soon as she stood up, she felt her sleeves being pulled by Chen Yumu. She lowered her head and saw that although Chen Yumu's eyes were closed, her head was leaning against Li Yilin's hand. There were tears falling silently.

She didn't speak, she didn't cry, but Li Yilin couldn't move all of a sudden, that kind of powerlessness that obviously watched everything happen but couldn't stop it.

She simply maintained the posture of being pulled by her sleeves, and stood beside her. She thought that what Chen Yumu wanted was not what she said, but being by her side, so that she could cry with confidence.

This is the first time Chen Yumu has cried like this since three years ago, because she is a liar, she lied to Li Yilin and herself, just now she looked at the glass and thought of her first suicide|suicide three years ago.

It was also on such a night, when she looked at her wrist, she felt that living was very tiring, as if she would be relieved as long as she fell down all at once, she didn't have to worry about whether Shi Jing wanted her, and she didn't have to feel that she was alone in this world.

So she slashed down, and then, the cold and sharp blade slashed across the skin, and the pain nerves issued a warning, it really hurts, and she lost her courage all of a sudden.

Just now she looked at the blue glass, on which she looked neither human nor ghost, and that black thought began to haunt her again, let's go on, all this is a relief.

That thought kept circling around, and finally the glass in her hand fell to the ground... Bang... She looked at the sharp shards of glass.

Then Li Yilin broke in. She seemed to be a bad person who had done something wrong and hurriedly defended herself, and then she was held in Li Yilin's arms.

It was a strange embrace with a strange body temperature, which seemed familiar. Chen Yumu felt that he should push her away, but on such a night, when she realized it, she had already hugged Li Yilin back.

It doesn't matter if she is selfish, but at this moment, she really doesn't want to push away the sunshine that is closest to her in this winter, so let her be greedy for a while, and when the sun rises, she will be Chen Yumu again.

Chen Yumu didn't know how long she cried, and then fell asleep in a daze. In the end, the alarm clock of her mobile phone woke her up in the morning, and she was almost awakened.

When she woke up, she saw Li Yilin lying beside her, and the two of them opened their eyes together. Chen Yumu was a little embarrassed and said, "I'm sorry."

As soon as she opened her mouth, she found that her voice was very hoarse. Li Yilin pulled out her hand and said, "It's okay." She went to the side bed and sat looking at Chen Yumu.

Chen Yumu smiled apologetically, then pointed to the bathroom, and said, "Shall I wash up first?"

Li Yilin thought of something and said, "I'll go first."

Chen Yumu nodded, and then Li Yilin went to the bathroom. When she saw the broken cup on the floor, she picked up the fragments of the cup with a towel, and after confirming that there were no fragments, she was thrown into the trash can with the towel wrapped in fragments. inside.

Sighed, then began to wash his face with warm water, looked at himself in the mirror, with faint dark circles under his eyes, remembered how Chen Yumu was crying last night, and saw himself in the mirror again, it turned out that being emotional really hurts Human, no matter the other party loves you or not.

Chen Yumu looked at her back, thinking of how crazy she was last night, couldn't help raking her hair irritably, feeling a little discomfort on her face, she turned on the light, took a photo with her mobile phone, and found that she was sleeping on the pillow last night. All night, Li Yilin's hands and face were covered with red marks.

She wished she could beat herself to death, what was the matter, she obviously didn't want to get entangled with Li Yilin, but in the end it was better to be greedy for Li Yilin and use her.

She looked at her phone, although her phone was turned off last night, but because of the alarm clock in the morning, the phone automatically turned on again, and after turning on the phone, Shijing's WeChat popped up.

It's all about you listening to my explanation, Chen Yumu smiled self-deprecatingly, then turned off the screen, she walked to the bed, opened the thick blackout curtains, and after opening, there was a bit of noise and a bit of dazzling sunlight .

The glare of the sun made her eyes a little sore and stinging, probably because she cried too hard last night. When her eyes got used to the sun, she looked at the smoggy city and suddenly felt very small. No matter how sad she was, this The world still goes on.

It won't change because of a person's shutdown, or because of a person's grief. She feels that her grief is insignificant.

Realizing this, I felt that something had loosened from my heart, and I felt that I was always digging into a dead end, and it was she who put Shi Jing at the center of the world.

It is my own wishful thinking to revolve around Shi Jing, and it is I who put all my weight on Shi Jing. It seems that the root of everything is that I put Shi Jing in the position that I need to survive.

When Li Yilin came out after washing, he saw Chen Yumu standing by the window, the sun shining through her, probably heard Li Yilin coming out, Chen Yumu turned his head, and what Li Yilin saw on her face was a completely relaxed expression , Li Yilin was a little stunned, always feeling that she was a little different.

Chen Yumu smiled slightly and said, "Good morning, Li Yilin."

As if sensing her good mood, the corners of Li Yilin's mouth slightly raised: "Morning, Chen Yumu."