refuse to be a teacher

It was the height of autumn in September, and the southern region was already a sad scene of falling leaves and withered trees.The warm water and soil in the spring and summer are gradually forming a thin frost at this moment, which suddenly fills every crowded gap in the air, and all of them are trying their best to show the coming of the autumn cold wave.

The defensive barrier on Lingtai Mountain has not been broken for many years. During the day, it has been bathed in the warm and soft light outside the bathroom for a long time. When it is late at night after autumn, the cold evening wind penetrates into the bone marrow like a sharp sword, bringing an unavoidable chill instantly.

Shen Miaozhou would go down the mountain every few days to buy more herbs. Most of the herbs were high-grade herbs that needed to be picked and sun-dried. Not to mention the high price, the mountain road was bumpy and muddy in rainy autumn, and it took her a whole day to go back and forth with her frail body. , Sometimes the boss of the pharmacy couldn't bear to watch it anymore, and tried to persuade her a few words on the sidelines, but she refused to listen, and decided to prepare the best medicinal materials for Mo Fuqiu herself, and she would not ask others to do it for her.

However, no matter how meticulous and considerate she was in taking care of her, Mo Fuqiu's stubborn illness seemed to be deliberately against her, and he never got better.Especially now that the weather is turning into autumn and winter, the excruciating pain caused by a pair of cold legs often tortures him all night, and often when he wakes up, he will be accompanied by an unbearable severe cough—she is sleeping next to his pillow, together with Woke up by the alarm, but kept silent, just quietly covered a pair of ears, and lived a life of physical and mental exhaustion over and over again.

Shen Miaozhou originally thought that Mo Fuqiu would not notice these tiny details.

But in fact, every time she covered her ears tightly and tried to retract into the quilt, he only needed to tilt his head slightly to get a panoramic view of everything.

One night later, she sent Mo Fuqiu the decoction as usual, but found that he unexpectedly did not rest early, but leaned against the table motionless, as if he was lost in thought, with his hands lowered. The short oil lamp had burned to the brim, and it was flickering with a paper-thin halo.

Shen Miaozhou felt a little uncomfortable.Then he walked over, put the medicine bowl down gently, and said in a low voice: "The doctor said, you should lie down and rest directly at night, I changed the mattress for you yesterday, you hurry up Go try to keep warm."

"Miao Zhou..." Mo Fuqiu came to his senses suddenly, and said to her in the same warm voice, "Thank you for your hard work, I... I will sleep again later, there are still a few important things at hand that I haven't cleared up, so don't worry .”

Shen Miaozhou lowered her head slightly and saw that there were several bamboo books spread out on his table, among which were a few people's names. After a cursory scan, they were all familiar people in the sect, she felt suspicious for a moment, she couldn't help asking again: "You What are you doing to organize these? Is there any task recently that needs to send a large number of people to carry it out?"

"Where is the task? Miao Zhou is confused." Mo Fuqiu propped up the bamboo book, placed it in front of her, and said with a smile, "In the early spring of next year, it's time to elect a new leader. Isn't this referring to the selection of suitable candidates?"

"Fuqiu, you..." Shen Miaozhou frowned, "I thought you were going to let Junior Brother Gu take over your position, after all in terms of qualifications and skills, he..."

"Wonderful boat."

Under the dim oil lamp, Mo Fuqiu's pale face became more and more tired and powerless, "Junior Brother Gu does have the ability to act as the head of the sect, but he has been in the deputy position for many years, and the real power in his hand has long been indistinguishable from the head of the sect. Poor—what I want to do more now is to pass on the position of master to the juniors who have the potential and potential. Wouldn't it be better to benefit from it?"

Shen Miaozhou's forehead was sweating, she seemed to feel something wrong and said, "Fuqiu, although your intentions are good, but...I think Junior Brother Gu has been in the awkward position of deputy head for a long time, and in his heart... …It’s going to be a little out of balance anyway.”

"What's unbalanced?" The bamboo book in his hand closed with a "snap", and Mo Fuqiu turned his head to blow out the oil lamp, and replaced the half of a candle in front of the table. The skinny knuckles were pale and shiny, "In life, contentment is the most important thing. You and I have lived to this age, but are you still too obsessed with these fleeting things?"

When Shen Miaozhou heard this, she couldn't help laughing and said: "Fuqiu, we are still young, how come we are 'such an age'?"

Mo Fuqiu shook his head and smiled, there was indescribable pain in that smile.

It seemed to be repeatedly telling her to be alert—she was still young, but he was old.

Shen Miaozhou took a deep breath, deliberately turned her body sideways, trying to avoid some unpleasant topics as much as possible, but just before she turned around, Mo Fuqiu's throat twitched, as if thinking of something again, a little He called her in an unclear manner: "That's right..."

Shen Miaozhou paused slightly, Fang wanted to answer him subconsciously.

"Sleep in a separate room tonight, Miao Zhou." He tried his best to calmly say, "I keep waking you up at night, these days...you must not have had a good rest, and you have become much emaciated."

——The door of the house under the flickering candlelight slowly closed the last gap.

Shen Miaozhou walked across the threshold with difficulty, completely turned her back to the cold and desolate figure in the room.When she raised her head slightly, a pair of eyes that had already been reddened were meeting the lonely and bitter gaze of another person outside the courtyard.

Gu Hebai looked sideways and turned her head, the bottomless eyes under the black gauze veil unintentionally brushed against her moist eyes.

"Why are you crying?" He asked, "What did senior brother tell you?"

Shen Miaozhou waved her hands, her downcast voice had a strong nasal tone: "It's nothing..." After a long silence, she asked him in a daze, "It's so late, what are you doing here alone?"

Gu Hebai said: "Seeing that you are busy alone, I want to come over and help."

Shen Miaozhou lowered her eyelashes, said coldly and lowly: "I'm done with my work, you can go..."

After finishing speaking, he immediately turned around and rubbed shoulders with him, but unexpectedly, his footsteps suddenly stopped halfway, but his arm was pulled back by a strong force.Shen Miaozhou looked up angrily, and suddenly shouted softly: "Junior Brother, are you crazy? This is Lingtai Mountain!"

"What's wrong with Lingtai Mountain? Can't you say that he's not good at Lingtai Mountain? You will always think of him first in everything you do, and what about him?" Gu Hebai grabbed her wrist, almost aggressively She whispered in her ear, "He prefers to pretend to be deaf and dumb, and even turns a blind eye to your kindness!"

"Junior Brother...!"

"I'm really fed up with his weak and incompetent appearance - he, Mo Fuqiu, the head of the Lingtai One Sword Sect, is a completely worthless coward!"

"Keep your voice down!" Shen Miaozhou hastily covered his mouth and said angrily, "What nonsense are you talking about at night? Fuqiu has a cough and is afraid of disturbing my rest at night, that's why I suggested that we temporarily separate rooms... It's me I feel sad in my heart, what are you blaming him for?"

Gu Hebai couldn't bear it anymore and said: "How can he not see that you are sad? Sister, he knows you are sad, he knows everything! He is just too useless, even if he sees everything clearly, he would rather close his eyes and act as a blind man... ..."

"……do not talk."

"Sister..."

"Enough, shut up!"

With a sudden stern shout, both of them were stunned.Relatively silent for a long time, Shen Miaozhou bent down and squatted down as if very tired, buried her head between her knees and completely lost the strength to speak.

Gu Hebai's eyes were silent, and he raised his hand to gently press her soft and thin shoulder: "Miao Zhou..."

The night was getting darker, and the surroundings were also deathly and bleakly silent.

"Even...even if he knows, so what?"

She bowed and huddled between the angle formed by the two high walls, her voice was as weak as the autumn and winter wind.

"He is my husband, and it is my duty to serve him steadily all his life."

Gu Hebai paused when he heard the words, and after a while, Fang smiled miserably: "Are you willing to do this?"

Shen Miaozhou's face was stagnant and said: "...how else?"

"So - it's life, contentment is the most important thing?"

Shen Miaozhou suddenly raised her eyes and said in disbelief, "Junior brother, you just... heard everything?"

Gu Hebai was noncommittal, just turned his back with his hands behind his back, and said with a smile: "Senior brother knows that he is going to be out of control, so he is anxious to elect the next head—he will recruit almost all the most qualified disciples in recent years. The list was listed one by one, and it was a coincidence that my name did not appear in it..."

"It's not like this, Junior Brother!" Shen Miaozhou hurriedly argued, "Fuqiu has high hopes for you, he hopes that you can..."

"I hope I can stay behind others and pave the way for others willingly for the rest of my life?"

Under the black veil, his dark and deep eyes are always placed in the motionless body. From a distance, he looks like a heavy stone sculpture whose soul is dusty and cannot be released at the bottom of the darkness. He will never understand. due redemption.

"...Or, brother, he doesn't trust me at all, so he never thought of handing over the final authority of the master to me?"

"No... Junior brother!" Shen Miaozhou's throat froze, and there was a faint trill in her voice, "How could Fuqiu be such a selfish person? He must have his own way before deciding on everything. The three of us have been together day and night for so many years, don't you understand his temperament?"

Gu Hebai looked back at her, and said in a deep voice: "Then senior sister thinks, who has the ability to take over the head and lead the entire Lingtai One Sword Sect to prosperity?"

Shen Miaozhou closed her eyes, turned her head deliberately and did not give him a half-word answer.

"Brother was seriously injured and comatose for three full years—during these three years, how did the Lingtai One Sword Sect fall into such a state of desperation? How did it recover step by step?" Gu Hebai said, "Brother doesn't trust That's all for me, don't tell me that even the senior sister who supported me with me at the beginning has always been full of doubts?"

After hearing this, Shen Miaozhou immediately retorted: "I didn't..."

Gu Hebai didn't wait for her to finish speaking: "Will Senior Sister believe me?"

Shen Miaozhou lowered her eyes powerlessly and said, "What do you want me to believe in you?"

"It won't take long... or... soon, I will be able to completely unravel the Jielong Seal..."

Under the entanglement of sharp knives in the evening wind, the blurred side face seemed to be divided into fragments wantonly.Gu Hebai turned around to face the moonlight shining in the sky, bent down slightly, and patiently spread out a gentle and strong palm towards Shen Miaozhou.

"I will prove to my seniors—prove to everyone that only I have the strength to take over the position of the final master."

"Junior brother..." Shen Miaozhou said with confused eyes, "I don't understand, why are you so obsessed with a meaningless position as head?"

"To me, it means a lot." The slender knuckles clasped the back of her soft hand, inch by inch.Gu Hebai met her slightly dodgy eyes intently, and said word by word: "I want to be able to stand by your side in the future, protect you...protect you and senior brother, and the three of us will live a safe and happy life together." Day, isn't it good?"

The night is getting cooler.

The autumn cold dew season on Lingtai Mountain seems to be more humid and cold than what I personally felt at the foot of the mountain.

Gu Hebai stood motionless on the spot, watching Shen Miaozhou's bleak back gradually leaving, until she walked slowly through the corner of the wall and completely disappeared from his long and deep sight - he was finally relieved, and turned his head to the sky to reveal a The long-lost comfortable smile.

The black gauze veil that was as heavy as the night was lightly taken off from his hands, and the treacherous facial features that were so familiar to him were shaken away by the moonlight, revealing a few pale outlines.

"Did you see...can you see?"

He spread his hands and whispered into the empty corner as if muttering:

"A cowardly and incompetent person lives to the end, and all the people and things he owns and cherishes will be completely taken away by the strong and taken away as his own—this is today, do you regret it?"

"Oh... I forgot. A waste like you who knelt on the ground and repeatedly begged for mercy from the very beginning has no right to regret it." Gu He raised his eyebrows and smiled hoarsely, "It's a pity that you tried your best to think about it. The person who wants to save the guardian no longer remembers you. The master and apprentice have lived happily for most of their lives, so what are you? In the end, there is not even a weed left on the grave..."

No one remembers you, and no one will be grateful to you.

All your sacrifices and pains are just worthless and disposable in the eyes of others.

...But don't worry.

I use your skin and your name to live a glorious life on earth.

what about you?You just stay in the ground in peace and order, and wait for a happy reunion with him in the future...

Gu Hebai closed his eyes silently, and raised his eyes quietly to look at the crescent moon above his head.Afterwards, it seemed that the silence had disappeared for a long time, until the smile on his face that had not changed gradually stagnated and dried up, like a small mottled bloodstain left by the tip of a knife.