it's sunny with you

Shen Haoyu just didn't want to see Xiao Leqing. From the first time he saw him, no one could tell him what to do, including his elder brother who he had admired since childhood.

In fact, sometimes, Shen Haoyu occasionally examines himself, and feels that he looks at people with prejudice and is not a gentleman's behavior.

But it's one thing for him to be aware of these things, but it's another thing to get angry when he sees Xiao Leqing's highly similar face.Shen Haoyu sometimes thinks, if you want to blame him, he and Chen Zhijin look too much alike, that face seems to remind Shen Haoyu of his stupidity.

Recalling the first time when Shen Haoyu saw Xiao Leqing, the lights were just like that at that time, and he was directly regarded as Chen Zhijin, with a mentality that watching the excitement was not a big deal.

Shen Haoyu, who likes to sing, was distracted and looked at the audience. It was the second time in his life that he was so distracted that he almost forgot to continue singing when he was passing by singing.If you want to ask who he was distracted from singing for the first time, of course it is to kiss Xiao Mengxuan.

cough!Let's get off topic, let's continue talking about the first time I met Xiao Leqing.Generally, Shen Haoyu will sing three songs together and go home.But that day when he was singing on stage, he noticed that Chen Zhijin in the audience had changed from his usual unrestrained behavior (later he found out that this person was Xiao Leqing), showing resistance and repulsion towards the man he seemed to have known before.

The point is that Mengxuan was not at home after work that day, and she was alone when she went back, so Shen Haoyu became interested.After singing, I sat down in the corner to watch the progress.

As expected, they chatted for a while, and the sinister-looking person really shot him.I don't know if he was stupid or playing hard to get, he actually went to the bathroom and left in the middle.

Later, fortunately, when he came back, he didn't have the brains to drink that glass of wine.Shen Haoyu was surprised that the man could not plan and directly sprayed the medicine.Sure enough, he left the store in a daze.

Shen Haoyu thought about it seriously, this is his own shop after all, it's good that he didn't see this incident, since he witnessed it with his own eyes, it has nothing to do with him if someone is taken out by that man to commit adultery.

However, in case this person is killed because of the deep resentment of others and becomes a murder case, then the loss outweighs the gain.Anyway, Shen Haoyi had come out from before, so he decided to let his brother know.

What he didn't expect was that the eldest brother, who he always remembered was dressed in a meticulous and prudent manner, came here in pajamas with only kicking off his shoes.The tension is palpable.

When Shen Haoyu regretted his thoughtless decision, Shen Haoyi carried Xiao Leqing on his back on the road, and listened briefly to introduce Xiao Leqing's name and Shen Haoyi's known information, such as he is very good, has a younger brother and so on.

Listening to it all the way, Shen Haoyu was in a complicated mood. He was very curious about how the old brother, who had been stuck to death, knew Xiao Leqing. The old brother's tone sounded like he had a good impression of him.

But Shen Haoyu didn't understand, and it was hard for him to imagine how his brother chatted with others about family affairs. Forgive him for his incompetence in imagining that scene.

Although Shen Haoyu didn't want to see Chen Zhijin and didn't care about his life, the main reason why he dared to call Shen Haoyi was that he believed that his brother didn't have the habit of deceiving himself and others.

So when Shen Haoyi said Xiao Leqing was innocent, he made it very clear, soberly said that he was Xiao Leqing and Shen Haoyu believed it.In order to ask clearly, he went to his brother's house the next day to wait for him to wake up.

Then, Xiao Leqing lost a bit of memory, and even quarreled with him.Shen Haoyu had a bad tone because he thought he was not pleasing to the eye, and Xiao Leqing over there was also very angry.

When the atmosphere intensified, Shen Haoyu forgot to take care of Xiao Leqing's elder brother who was catching up on sleep in the morning.Hearing Shen Haoyi calling his full name, he knew he was going to make his brother angry, so he slammed the door and left reluctantly.

On the way back, Shen Haoyu remembered that his relatives and girlfriends were leaving get off work, so he forgot to worry and went to pick Mengxuan from get off work.Sitting in the car, he said that he wanted Mengxuan to comfort him about this matter, but unexpectedly, Mengxuan took him over to apologize.

Depressed by Shen Haoyu, it made the whole person feel bad.In order to let Mengxuan calm down, he had no choice but to go back obediently. As soon as he entered the door, he saw the old man cleaning up the dishes and a familiar face sitting on the sofa.

At that time, Shen Haoyu was a little bit wronged and a little angry. His brother cooked like Shen Haoyu used to eat when he was a teenager, okay?Afterwards, it was rare to have a meal once in a while, so why did Xiao Leqing enjoy this supreme treatment as soon as he came?Just because he looks like that?Well, even if he deserves it, I still think it's unfair!

But if you think so, Shen Haoyu must maintain a good gentleman's demeanor while Mengxuan is still beside him, even though Shen Haoyu is soberly aware that he does not have these things.

Shen Haoyu secretly decided to investigate Xiao Leqing carefully.Then Mengxuan thanked Xiao Leqing, and Shen Haoyu learned that his brother fainted and was sent to the hospital by Xiao Leqing, he became flustered, forgot about Xiao Leqing and Chen Zhijin, these two people were irrelevant to him, and ran directly to the kitchen.

Shen Haoyu, who claims to be eloquent, ran to the door of the kitchen. Shen Haoyu wanted to ask why Shen Haoyi was sick and didn't tell him.Seeing Shen Haoyi's thin and pale face, it hurt like a needle in his heart.

His brother was not so thin before, and his complexion is better than now.The scene of hurting Shen Haoyi in the past flashed by, and Shen Haoyu was so poor at words that he didn't know what to say.

I vaguely remember that in the past, Shen Haoyi had a slightly fat body, with a rosy complexion and a gentle personality, although he didn't talk much, he didn't feel depressed like an adult.Shen Haoyu sometimes imagined, if he hadn't hurt his brother deeply before, whether his brother would be a little more lively when he became an adult, and wouldn't be like this.

Even though there was a one-year difference between the brothers when they were young, Shen Haoyu was doted on because of his eloquence and kindness, and he was the boss at home.If there is anything he likes, his brother will always treat him so gently and always give in.In school, Shen Haoyi is strong and excellent, and he can't allow others to say a bad word about him.

Growing up like this, Shen Haoyu didn't realize his cruelty.His parents were so busy with work that they always circled around Shen Haoyu when they came back from work. He threw away his own share of the toys his parents brought back for the two of them, turning his head and pretending to cry for a gift from his brother.

Shen Haoyi always gave it to him without any fluctuations, and never said a word, Shen Haoyu thought that he really didn't care and made things worse.When the elder brother's things got his hands, Shen Haoyu felt at ease and threw them away without cherishing them.

This cycle continued until the age of nine, when Shen Haoyu finished playing again and threw away the toys. He was bored and went out to find friends to play with. When he went downstairs and found that he forgot to bring something home, he saw Shen Haoyu squatting on the ground carefully picking up the broken toys and putting them in the box. .

Shen Haoyu thought that his brother must have hidden interesting things in the box, so he sneaked around and didn't want him to know.Later, Shen Haoyu secretly opened the box while his brother was away and took a look. It turned out that it was full of the toys that belonged to Shen Haoyu from childhood to nine years old.

It's just that most of them are incomplete and broken, some are broken and some are blurred.Shen Haoyu often throws things away when they are broken, and he has never noticed that the thrown things disappear at home.

At that time, the young Shen Haoyu also knew that the big brother Shen Haoyi was very righteous, he was so kind to him without holding grudges, and he was still protecting him in school. Shen Haoyu felt guilty that he was sorry for Shen Haoyi. Be nice to your brother.

However, habits are not easy to change.When his parents came back again, Shen Haoyu couldn't help looking at the gift in his brother's hand.

When his elder brother handed it over without hesitation, Shen Haoyu also restrained his urge to fuck the toy, and reluctantly touched it before returning it.Shen Haoyi had a rare expression on his face, and looked over in surprise with his arms hanging by his side.

When Shen Haoyu insisted on returning it to him, he took back the toy with a slightly trembling hand and a happy smile.Looking at it with a smile, he felt uncomfortable.I feel like a jerk, not only grabbing attention and love from my parents, but also grabbing things my brother likes.

Shen Haoyu thought, if he were Shen Haoyi, since his parents were not often at home anyway, he would definitely give a good lesson to himself who didn't know what to do.It is absolutely impossible for Shen Haoyu to ignore the previous suspicions and make up lessons and fight for him.

Later, the brothers got along more and more harmoniously. As he grew up, his elder brother became more and more excellent, and his whole person gained momentum. Shen Haoyu admired and was proud of him.Shen Haoyu thought that they would continue like this until they got married and had children.

But I didn't expect that in the first year of high school, I went to Shen Haoyi's bookshelf to look for professional books, and accidentally noticed a hidden drawer at the bottom of the bookshelf.

It was the turbulent period of teenage youth at that time, and Shen Haoyu came to his senses, thinking that it was some pornographic magazine, or some kind of CD.When he opened the drawer and took out the book, his smile froze when he saw the title of the book.

The title of the top book is "Homosexuality Subculture", Shen Haoyu reads the next one is "Homosexuality in the Perspective of Chinese Law", followed by "On Homosexuality", "Homosexuality in China" and more than a dozen other books on homosexuality.Shen Haoyu's heart turned cold when he saw it.

Since he was a child, Shen Haoyu belonged to the very disgusting homosexual group, and suddenly knowing that his brother might be gay was hard to accept.

Thinking about it before, Shen Haoyi was even more unwilling to be kind to him. I hope my brother will deny that homosexuality is boring to read these books.Even if it is, he encourages his brother to change back.

Then he kept opening the cabinet and waited for Shen Haoyi to come back and explain clearly.Unexpectedly, when he came back, he found that the secret was revealed by Shen Haoyu very calmly, but Shen Haoyu couldn't be quiet, he directly questioned his sexual orientation at that time.

When the question came out, he hoped that Shen Haoyi would deny it, but the answer he got was admission and confession.Shen Haoyu is going crazy, his brother is good at everything except talking less, how can he have such a disgusting stain?

Shen Haoyu insisted that it was a disease that needed to be treated, and all the suggestions put forward were rejected by Shen Haoyi.Whatever was said was rejected.Shen Haoyu went to the extreme.

In the days that followed, Shen Haoyu thought countless times that if he could travel to the first year of high school, he would definitely kill himself. How could he be so hateful and treat his brother like that.

The young Shen Haoyu was brain-dead and did things according to what he wanted. He didn't care about his brother's thoughts, and he couldn't think of so many things when his mind became hot.If persuasion doesn't work, I just start to feel disgusted.

However, Shen Haoyi was always silent.He simply used his pocket money to rent a house and move out.When I was in school, when it was rumored that Shen Haoyi was gay for some reason, Shen Haoyu was also in the ranks of the crowd who scolded him.

Shen Haoyi disappeared into Shen Haoyu's life without a sound.They will no longer hang shoulders in school, play basketball, and go home together when they go to and from school.Even if they meet by chance, they will pass by tacitly without squinting as if they don't know each other.

It's just that Shen Haoyu didn't feel that it was enough to vent his anger. After he deliberately told people around him that homosexuals should be damned, the school would be better.

After two years of stalemate like this, Shen Haoyu was in pain but didn't know what to do. He watched his brother lose weight.I don't know when he became thin, his face was pale, his eyes were dim and his whole person sank down.

But the more excellent his grades are, the better he is at sports, but he starts to get sick.In the past two years, no matter how much Shen Haoyu hated, he had almost vented it.After all, it was his elder brother who loved him since he was a child. He felt distressed and had no choice but to compromise.

In addition to heavy academic work in the third year of high school, Shen Haoyu tried to restore the previous mode of getting along with Shen Haoyi.No matter how deep the wound on the body is, it will slowly heal and scar over time, but the wound on the heart will not heal over time.

It is obvious that Shen Haoyi still pampers and has no intention of caring about it, and the knot in his heart is still keeping a distance, and they have never crossed shoulders again.

Even later, Shen Haoyu was retaliated against for his high-profile homophobic remarks at school. In this life, Shen Haoyu blocked the fatal wound for him and lay dying on the ground.

Shen Haoyu spoke weakly and his voice was so low that he could barely hear him, and he asked Shen Haoyu to convey to his parents that he would lose his word if he couldn't protect his younger brother in the future.

When Shen Haoyu held him and regretted crying bitterly, he forced himself to laugh and told Shen Haoyu not to be sad, saying that Shen Haoyu was sorry to have such a brother who was criticized by others, although homosexuals also have the right to live, but he was too tired to die. Both he and Shen Haoyu are a good thing, the younger brother who is gay has a bad name, so as not to leave a stain on Shen Haoyu's future life.

After two years of suffering, Shen Haoyi was obviously sick.His skin was pale and bloodless, and he was breathing weakly when he closed his eyes and lay on the ground.It looks like dead.

Shen Haoyu carefully put his ear close to his brother's nose, so that he could hear the sound of breathing that was so shallow that there was no sense of existence.From the time the ambulance finally arrived, from the road until he was sent to the operating room, Shen Haoyu was terrified and cried loudly. It was the first time he realized that his life was fragile.

Shen Haoyu resented his selfishness and hated what he had done before.Before Shen Haoyi lost consciousness, he always apologized guiltily. Only then did Shen Haoyu suddenly realize that he was angry with his brother not to go for treatment, and just wanted to say nonsense that didn't make sense.

But his elder brother didn't show his face, and kept it in his heart without saying anything.Where Shen Haoyu couldn't see, those words turned into a sharp knife piercing Shen Haoyi's body with cuts and bruises.Therefore, when life is weakest, Shen Haoyi will feel so guilty, and will say that death is a good thing.

Fortunately, God had eyes for Shen Haoyi to survive.The moment he opened his eyes, Shen Haoyu would have thrown himself into his arms and cried bitterly if he hadn't worried about his serious injury.Only then did he suddenly realize that life is an individual with multiple sides, the side he likes is him, and the side he doesn't like is also him.Either way this man is his brother,

Shen Haoyi has always been single in college, even though they have different majors in medicine and business, they can still meet in the same school.Then Shen Haoyu also started to read same-sex books, wanting to know what kind of crazy demonized group is in the population.

It was also because of the book "Gay Subculture", when Shen Haoyi was bored reading in a chair under a tree, he accidentally met Mengxuan from the medical department who was also studying books.

At that time, Mengxuan was confessed by her senior sister, but she didn't feel repulsed in her heart, thinking that she was crooked to understand.In the end, we will be together again and again.

After understanding, Shen Haoyu found that homosexuality is nothing more than different sexual orientations, and it is not as outrageous as the perversions of his buddies in middle school.Shen Haoyu always enlightened Shen Haoyi that a group of animals should not be alone and lonely.When Chen Zhijin appeared and pursued Shen Haoyi persistently, Shen Haoyu, who felt guilty that he could not make up for what he had done before, regained his spirit and gave him many strategies.

Later, Shen Haoyu was about to graduate, and occasionally heard Chen Zhijin say that she felt that Shen Haoyi had feelings for him, but there was no progress in intimacy.I remembered that in college, Chen Zhijin had lost love with a girl before, and I had never heard of it being gay.But he just said something that would infect others.

Faintly felt that it looked like he had lost his memory and forgot the past, and forgave his ignorant brother, but in fact the door of his heart was deeply locked.At that time, Shen Haoyu thought optimistically, maybe it will get better after a long time.

Unexpectedly, when Shen Haoyi first became a doctor shortly after graduation, they broke up.Shen Haoyu saw the vulnerable side of Shen Haoyi. He cherished Chen Zhijin for his brother, and felt that the way of cherishing Chen Zhijin for fear of harm was not worth it. Obviously, this way of doing things is not suitable for people who want to change.

Knowing the fact that it may be that her elder brother has too much entanglement, Chen Zhijin is impatient with loneliness because of being too cautious.Shen Haoyu still hated Chen Zhijin in his heart.Shen Haoyi resigned and was depressed for half a year.

Not interested in the family business, he refused Shen Haoyu's invitation. Later, he didn't know that his interest could not give up his profession, so Shen Haoyi marched into the pharmacy.

Later, Shen Haoyu didn't dare to urge him to get out of the order when he was having dinner or going to play.It's been a long time like this.

But she never expected that Xiao Leqing's appearance many years later broke the tranquility.

The author has something to say:

When writing about Shen Haoyi and Shen Haoyu's childhood, I think of my sister.

Children are the cruelest, and they take it for granted that they don't realize it.A few years ago, after my sister got married and had a baby, I complained to my mother that my elder nephew was too well-behaved, my younger nephew loved to cry and fight, and my elder nephew had to yield everything to my younger nephew.My mother told me that you were like this when you were young?

At that time, I was stunned. I only vaguely remembered that, for example, when visiting relatives during the Chinese New Year, my sister was excited to get in the car and wanted to leave. Just because I was crying and wanted to go, my sister had to get out of the car to give me the opportunity.The same is true when you encounter delicious sugar

It feels like what I remember is just the tip of the iceberg, in so many childhoods that I don't remember, but I don't know how much bitterness my sister has in her heart.