Bamboo Horse Cultivation Manual [Rebirth]
Chapter 67 Chapter 67
At seven o'clock in the evening, Aunt Huang came to cook. Half an hour later, Qiu Mu pushed open the door of Ye Li's room and woke him up from the bed.
Ye Li sat up from the bed, pressed his head with one hand, and let out a slight groan from his throat.
"Are you still uncomfortable?" Qiu Mu asked.
Ye Li nodded, lifted the quilt and got off the bed: "It's a bit uncomfortable."
"Let auntie cook you a bowl of hangover soup later."
"Can you cook?"
Qiu Mu blinked: "Yes."
"You can do it for me, Auntie will think about it." He lowered his head and sniffed his cuffs. His clothes were no longer the clothes he wore when he went out. There was not much alcohol smell on his daily clothes, so he shouldn't be caught Discover.
"Okay." Qiu Mu said.
"..." Seeing Qiu Mu standing still, staring straight into his eyes, Ye Li asked, "Is there something wrong?"
"Do you remember what you did just now?" Qiu Mu asked.
Ye Li was puzzled: "Me?"
He glanced sideways at the bed with the half-opened quilt still carrying body temperature, probably wondering why Qiu Mu asked this question.
"...Did I fall asleep and do something?" He guessed.
"KTV, bathroom." Qiu Mu reminded.
"..." Looking at Qiu Mu's face, he took half a second to sort out the situation, and then began to think about what the answer Qiu Mu wanted to hear.
Is it more appropriate to play dumb and deny saying "I forgot"?Generally speaking, no matter whether he really forgot or not, Qiu Mu can choose "just pretend it never happened", and then all problems will be gone.
Commonly speaking, Qiu Mu should want to hear such an answer more.
Such thoughts quickly popped up in Ye Li's mind, and Ye Li almost blurted out the words.
But when he saw Qiu Mu's eyes fixed on his own, Ye Li quickly retracted his words, and his heart beat twice quickly. From the outside, he couldn't seem to hesitate, as if he didn't think about anything in his mind, and went directly As fast as he answered, he said, "Ah... I remembered, I was really sorry at that time."
Qiu Mu was very satisfied with this answer.
"It's okay." He turned and left Ye Li's room: "Let's go eat."
Ye Li looked at Qiu Mu's back, and heaved a sigh of relief.
Actually asked when he just woke up and didn't have time to think about the situation slowly, Qiu Mu obviously became vigilant.
Sincerely apologize, Qiu Mu will not think too much, after all, it is not uncommon to do stupid things after drinking, and the two of them will gradually forget about it after a long time.
But if you say you "don't remember", you're obviously guilty and you're wrong.
Why can't he remember?Isn't it because he is afraid that if he remembers, he will be alienated by Qiu Mu?
But if there is no ghost in his heart, why is he afraid of being alienated?It's enough to apologize upright.
That idiot Ma Bin.
Condemning secretly, Ye Li followed Qiu Mu to the living room.
Qiu Mu said: "Will you take Xiao Hei for a walk later?"
Ye Li: "Not sure."
"Then I'll take it for a walk, you can continue to sleep."
"it is good."
Aunt Huang put away the clothes that Qiu Mu and the others hung on the balcony, folded them up and put them in the bedrooms of the two of them, and then left.Neither Qiu Mu nor Ye Li had the habit of talking and chatting while eating, so the huge living room could only hear the slight sound of the collision of dishes and chopsticks, and a little bit of chewing, which seemed a bit silent.
After eating, Qiu Mu went to the kitchen to make hangover soup for Ye Li.The soup was ready in a while, put the small steaming bowl on the tea table for Ye Li, and Qiu Mu led the little black dog out the door.
"..."
Clasp your hands together, curling your fingers in a prayer gesture.With elbows resting on the knees of both legs, head lowered and hands gently supporting the chin, eyes closed and thinking started.
He recalled the things he posted in KTV before, and slowed down all the details bit by bit and kept thinking, making sure that every small move could have a proper explanation, and would not make Qiu Mu overly suspicious, Ye Li It was only after this period of self-examination was over that I breathed a sigh of relief.
It's not that he didn't think about it, so he let Qiu Mu know directly.
But the timing was really bad.
Even if Qiu Mu uses this to know that he is interested in him, Qiu Mu will only choose to escape and pretend that he doesn't know.
In this way, Ye Li doesn't even have the last chance to get close. No matter what he does, Qiu Mu will become suspicious and vigilant. Not only will the means of flattery or seduction not have a positive effect, but it will make Qiu Mu farther and farther away.
Not long ago, Ma Bin said "it's not easy for you" in the same tone of emotion. He said, "if you like others, you can probably succeed by waving your hands, but you have to be as careful as you are now." "My sisters are very cute, and they like you so much, their eyes always follow you. If you choose them, you will be very happy in the future."Such words made Ye Li stop thinking about Qiu Mu, relax, and find someone who loves him very much even though he doesn't love him very much.
Ye Li didn't listen to this sentence at all, and took it to heart.
It would be great if a relationship can be given up if you really want to give up so much.
Then Qiu Mu won't always like Gu Yu, and won't give him a look.
Like Ye Li, he felt that the difficulty was too great, so he quickly gave up and chose someone who loved him.In this way, Ye Li will have the opportunity to enter Qiu Mu's field of vision and let him choose himself.
But is that love really love?Isn't it because of emptiness and regret, so in order to find comfort, the life-saving straw and good medicine that I specially found are just props to relieve pain.
When he was in junior high school, Ye Li was confessed to by many girls in the school.At first, I still felt guilty, but after I refused, I could feel self-blame and uncomfortable when I faced the crying eyes of the other party.
So after a period of time after the refusal, Ye Li would unconsciously pay attention to the existence of the other party, wanting to see how she was doing, if she really forgot about herself, or if she still remembered him all the time.
Then one day, he saw a girl who confessed to him with a flushed face a month ago, standing side by side with a boy in a cold drink shop to buy drinks, holding hands.
——It’s just this level of love.
The other party came to confess to him with the idea of "it's okay, if it's not okay, change to another one".
Therefore, it is naive to feel that I blame myself.
Recalling the sincere face and longing eyes of the other party at that time, and the pitiful tears and crying after being rejected, I suddenly felt a little nauseous.
This is not real love, just a game.In order to make yourself happy, so as long as you are an excellent and suitable person, you can play games together.
He has no way to say that his own ideas are absolutely correct and that others' actions must be wrong.Everyone has their own way of life, no one is right or wrong.
But he could never bear to live like that.After falling in love with Qiu Mu, he couldn't bear to think about Qiu Mu with the idea of "just try it, if it doesn't work, forget it".
True love is to try to get it even if it is humble, and to fight for it even if it is selfish.
Whether it's embarrassing or cunning or excessive, as long as he can get it, he will do whatever he wants.Now that you like him, you should like him for the rest of your life and do everything you can to get him, no matter how long it takes, how many years you have to wait, or how much you have to pay, it's okay.
Some people may think that such feelings are too heavy, not in line with reality at all, and only exist in movies or TV dramas, but Ye Li thinks so.
Because that object is Qiu Mu, because he likes so much and so deeply.So he can afford to wait and is willing to wait.
As for why you like it so much...
The index finger and third finger tapped on the coffee table a few times, and his eyes casually looked at the soup bowl in front of him.
Probably because of this.
Picking it up and taking a sip of hangover soup, he found it tasted very good, Ye Li squinted his eyes and thought silently.
Qiu Mu has never drank alcohol before, how could she even know how to do this kind of thing.
Although he usually looks low-key and restrained on the outside, he seems to have no other advantages other than "excellence".But some places are really unpredictable and unpredictable.As if omnipotent, as if omniscient.Occasionally showing a hand quietly can be amazing.
At first, maybe it was because of such little surprises that he became more and more fascinated by Qiu Mu.
Before he knew it, his eyes had been looking at him.When he came back to his senses, he was the only one thinking about him.
Like the ubiquitous and breathing air, it lingers around you, and you can't get out of it, and you don't want to get out of it.
Every time I know more about Qiu Mu, I like him more deeply.The closer the distance is, the more the heart cares.
Qiu Mu is like a magnet, as long as it appears, the heart will be tightly attracted by the other party, and there is no way to control it.
He was poisoned by a poison named "Qiu Mu", he couldn't heal himself, and he didn't intend to heal himself, so he could only sink into it and let himself get sicker and worse.
When seeing Qiu Mu in KTV, Ye Li suddenly heard that joke that appeared countless times in his dream.
I thought to myself that since it was a dream, it would be okay to act a little coquettishly and satisfy the love that I can't always fill.
So he used to hug Qiu Mu in the past, no matter whether it was real or not, as long as he understood that "I am hugging Qiu Mu", an indescribable satisfaction would make him ecstasy, more than drunk To make people dreamy.
Kissing and touching were completely subconscious behaviors. Although he could no longer remember the feeling of touch at that time, at that time he really felt as if he was embracing the whole world and enjoying the unparalleled supreme happiness.
It would be great if it could be like this every day in the future.
Putting down the soup bowl, feeling the warmth remaining in his throat, Ye Chui let out a satisfied breath.
......
Qiu Mu came back very quickly, Ye Li finished the soup, put it in the kitchen to wash and walked out, when he heard the faint movement of walking from the door, and the joyous barking of a puppy.
Qiu Mu led the little black dog to open the door and walked in. Seeing Ye Li standing outside the entrance, a little outside the kitchen, she was slightly taken aback, then smiled and said, "Why didn't you go to bed?"
"After drinking the soup, I felt much better, so I didn't sleep." Ye Li said, "Where did you take it?"
Qiu Mu became embarrassed: "Xiao Hei is not willing to leave, so I will..."
Ye Li said: "That's why it's always been so fat."
"I've lost a lot of weight now." Qiu Mu defended her behavior in a low voice: "If grandpa saw it, he might think that we abused him and didn't give him food."
"You spoil it too much." Ye Li said, "Be a little self-conscious."
Qiu Mu smiled and said, "Aren't you here?"
Ye Li was helpless: "Seeing Xiao Hei, I couldn't help thinking, if I was a little lazy, would you and grandpa take care of me until I lost my self-reliance."
Qiu Mu thought for a while, then opened her eyes wide: "Maybe it's really possible!"
It is impossible for Qiu Mu to be so strict with a child. Although the old man will be dissatisfied, he will not say anything unpleasant to Ye Li.So if Ye Li had the same personality as other children, if he acted a little bit more like a baby and didn't face reality, he would probably become like other children who are loved by adults. He would not be as independent and assertive as he is now. .
Ye Li walked over and tapped Qiu Mu's forehead with his index finger: "You still say."
If he really becomes like that, he probably won't even have the last bit of ability to win over Qiu Mu.
Qiu Mu laughed twice, blocked Ye Li's second attack with her palm, and then loosened the little black dog's collar.
"It's still early, what should I do?" Qiu Mu said.
"Actually, I came up with a plan recently, and I don't know if it will work." Ye Li said, "There are more and more people using the Internet now..."
Qiu Mu listened carefully, then nodded repeatedly: "Well, the idea you said is quite interesting."
Ye Li: "Do you think it is feasible? Then I will think about it later and write a formal plan for you."
Qiu Mu smiled and said, "Okay."
Ye Li glanced at him, and then suddenly said: "Speaking of which, you don't seem to have mentioned Xiao Yu much recently."
Qiu Mu was taken aback.
After recalling it carefully, he murmured: "Hey, it seems to be..."
Then he shook his head again, and said with a relieved smile: "But isn't it the same as usual when we get along?"
Ye Li pointed out the reason and said, "Are you still waiting for him to break up with Chen Siqi?"
Qiu Mu: "Yes."
Ye Li: "Can you wait?"
Qiu Mu's tone was casual: "Of course I can wait to get it. It will probably take another half a year."
Ye Li didn't know where Qiu Mu's confidence came from.
He belongs to the school of action and theory. After careful investigation and thinking, he will act immediately.
But Qiu Mu is a bit negative in contrast, he likes to keep everything in his heart and not to say it, although he can solve most of the things with ease, but when encountering some emergencies, he seems a bit busy To deal with it, I can only accept it hastily and passively "beaten".
It was the same when Gu Yu suddenly dated Chen Siqi at first, and it was also before Chen Siqi appeared.He neither took the initiative to fight nor launched an attack, so he didn't know what Qiu Mu was thinking.
Although Ye Li wanted to correct this habit that Qiu Mu himself hadn't noticed, but since the situation was in his favor, it's better to wait and say nothing.
He said, "Really, there is still half a year left."
The buffer time of half a year has put a certain distance between Qiu Mu and Gu Yu, which is enough for him to do a lot of things.
Qiu Mu suddenly remembered something, and said: "By the way, you still remember, I told you that the condition for my mother to let me come back to study is to give her a few competition titles."
Ye Li: "Remember, what's wrong?"
Qiu Mu: "Among the five competitions, the first test of biology is almost here, and the other four subjects are in the second half of the year, so I think it's better to give up biology altogether and focus on other subjects."
Ye Li asked: "'Five events'?"
Qiu Mu explained: "It's a national competition. We are science students. There are five science competitions: mathematics, physics, chemistry, information, and biology. The importance and difficulty are listed in the order I said, and biology is at the end. noodle."
Ye Li blinked: "So, which ones do you want to take?"
Qiu Mu answered the first three questions, and then said, "Do you want to take the exam with me?"
Ye Li probably understood the reason why Qiu Mu suddenly brought up this matter.
He said briskly, "Yes."
Qiu Mu smiled: "I knew it - I have learned all the knowledge points in high school, and I have nothing to do at hand, you will definitely agree."
Ye Li: "If you win this competition, can you get extra points in the college entrance examination or something?"
Qiu Mu: "Not only can you get extra points, but you can also get recommended admission qualifications. The better your test scores, the more and better schools you can choose from."
Ye Li couldn't help but said, "Isn't this a great opportunity!"
Qiu Mu smiled and said, "That's right, so if you have the spare energy, you'd better take the exam, you won't be at a disadvantage anyway, right?"
Qiu Mu said it was easy, but in fact, for most high school students, it is very difficult to finish the homework at hand. It is simply impossible to spare time and energy to do this. Task.
It was only the two of them who had learned all the content of high school in junior high school, and only then could they make this choice without hesitation.
Qiu Mu said: "The competition time is from July to November. There are three competitions for each subject, the municipal preliminary competition, the provincial league competition, and the national final. If we can enter the national final, we will be able to compete in all competitions by the end of November at the latest. finish exam."
Ye Li calculated the date: "There are still about five months before the first competition."
Qiu Mu smiled and said, "Do you feel quite sure?"
Five months is enough for them to study these three subjects over and over several times.
Ye Li nodded, showing full confidence: "Yes."
"In two days, I'll talk to the teachers in the school about this, and then ask my parents to find two tutors who are knowledgeable about this competition." After explaining this sentence, Qiu Mu patted Ye Li's shoulder: "I'll go to Xiao Yu and talk to him too."
With an expression he had expected a long time ago, Ye Li said: "Okay."
Ten minutes later, Qiu Mu came back.Ye Li was sitting in the bedroom turning on the computer when Qiu Mu knocked on the door and walked in.
Looking back at Qiu Mu, Ye Li raised his eyebrows lightly: "What's wrong?"
There was something wrong with Qiu Mu's expression: "...Xiao Yu is not at home."
Ye Li pondered for a while, and probably guessed what happened.
"Are aunt and uncle at home?"
"Both are here." Qiu Mu said: "They called Xiao Yu in front of me, and then Xiao Yu said the wrong thing... I guess they can't hide it."
Ye Li thought for a while and said, "He didn't tell us that he was going out today."
"Probably because I heard about Ma Li's birthday and knew that we would spend the night there, so I was negligent." Qiu Mu said, "It's past eight o'clock now."
"..." Ye Li's eyes were a little weird. He was thinking of something, but he didn't have the nerve to say it in front of Qiu Mu. He felt that Qiu Mu probably thought of it too, so he changed it directly. Topic: "Uncle probably wouldn't say anything, but Auntie's words..."
She has said in front of Qiu Mu and the others more than once that puppy love is not allowed.
Qiu Mu sighed with a complicated expression.
His shoulders slumped, and he sat down on the edge of the bed dejectedly.Put your arms back, support the bed, lean your body back, and look up at the ceiling above your head.
"Suddenly feel very tired." Qiu Mu said: "It's very boring, I don't want to think about anything."
Ye Li said: "You feel uncomfortable in your heart."
After all, even if his heart could make a sound, he wouldn't say 'pain' to others, so he directly reflected this idea on his body.
Qiu Mu smiled with a slightly pale expression, said "maybe", and then said: "You may not believe it, I have experienced this feeling many times, but I can't adapt to it every time."
"I'm used to it, and I can't feel it anymore, which means you don't love him anymore." Ye Li said softly.
Qiu Mu smiled bitterly: "Sometimes, I really don't know what kind of feelings I have for Xiao Yu now. It's been too long, the habit has been integrated into the bone marrow, and I have already forgotten to think. It's like people have to breathe, and I have to like it too." Like light rain, naturally, day after day."
Now his physical age is 16 years old, and the time he has been secretly in love with Gu Yu before and after adds up to exactly 16 years.
From the heartbeat at the beginning, to the entanglement later, and finally tormented by pain tolerance and negative self-blame again and again, until now, apart from the habitual bitterness, I am so exhausted that I can't even surge up the strength to resist.
Gu Yu fell in love with Gu Yu when he first met him in college, and he didn't change his mind until he graduated from college. At that time, Qiu Mu was surprised by his persistence, but he didn't expect that he would be so firm after liking someone.
Later, with the passage of time and the growth of being with Gu Yu year after year, he was too lazy to calculate such things anymore.I refuse to give up this relationship every year, watching the time dragging on, and now it has reached the No. 16 year, which makes people feel complicated.
A long period of self-proclaimed long-term love is definitely not an exaggeration.
"I just want the person I like to also like me." Qiu Mu said, "Isn't this too much to ask?"
"Hmm." Ye Li's gaze fixed on Qiu Mu, watching him mourn for others, watching him show his love for others, and he could clearly feel the pain in his heart.
"Why do the people I like always want to like others, why don't they just look at me and come to like me." Qiu Mu murmured, "I wish I had more courage."
Ye Li was silent for a while, and said, "You just cherish it too much."
If he didn't like Qiu Mu, he might think Qiu Mu's actions were stupid and cowardly.Long-winded, wobbly and hesitant like a little girl.
"If you say it, you may lose the other person. In the eyes of others, your approach may be stupid. It is because they have not faced this situation. They do not value the people we value, so there is nothing to be afraid of losing. .That's why I can say irresponsible things casually."
Qiu Mu couldn't help but nodded again and again, he thought he had found a comrade in arms.
But who would have thought that Ye Li would pour cold water on him again.
"But if you cherish it, you might miss it." Ye Li's words sound contradictory to those before: "'Not getting' is no different from 'losing', isn't it."
"..."
Ye Li thought for a while and said, "Do you still remember those plants raised by grandpa?"
Qiu Mu looked at Ye Li: "I remember, what's wrong."
Ye Li recalled it for a while, and said: "It should be in the second semester of the second year of junior high school. Didn't Guangling have a big typhoon? At that time, the flowers and plants that grandpa raised in the yard were seriously damaged."
Qiu Mu: "Yes."
But so what, Ye Li suddenly mentioned what to do.
"At that time, I saw the plants that my grandpa took care of every day turned into such a pity. I wanted to help my grandpa reduce the loss as much as possible and save the plants." Ye Li said, "But when I was holding an umbrella and standing In the courtyard, when I wanted to run a few more times to bring all the flowers and plants back, I saw Grandpa went over to take a look at them, and only took away a few pots that were intact, and left all the others alone."
Qiu Mu became slightly interested.
This is something he doesn't know.
"why?"
"Grandpa said that there is no need to take care of those." Ye Li said: "But in my opinion, those plants were just watered a little too much, and some of the branches were broken by the wind."
Qiu Mu nodded and listened carefully.
"Although it's broken, as long as you wait a bit, cultivate and take care of it carefully, it should be able to recover." Ye Li said, "That's what I thought at the time."
"What did grandpa say?"
"Grandpa didn't say anything at the time." Ye Li said: "He only told me that since I think it can be restored, let me take care of these plants, and then return them to him one day in the future when they feel that there is no problem. "
Qiu Mu looked thoughtfully.
"So I took care of it seriously and followed my grandfather's usual practice, without any negligence."
Qiu Mu believes that since Ye Li said so, he must have really cared about doing it.
However, in his memory, it seems that after the typhoon, the number of plants in the garden was halved, that is to say...
"How did you do it?" Qiu Mu asked.
"As usual, I did it seriously and carefully." Ye Li said: "But looking back, it's because I'm 'the same as usual', I don't change anything, and I don't want to give up anything. It will kill all those potted plants."
Qiu Mu raised her eyebrows slightly: "How should I say it?"
"Didn't you tell me before that the branches of the potted flowers I took were all broken?" Ye Li said: "Grandpa reminded me at the time that it's best to cut them all off, maybe there is still a chance to save them. But I saw that if it was all cut off, wouldn’t there be nothing left but a little bare trunk? Even if I survived, I would be ashamed to give it to my grandpa, after all, it’s meaningless to continue to grow this kind of plant , I always feel like I'm cheating."
Qiu Mu said "hmm": "And then?"
"Then, I realized deeply that what grandpa said was indeed correct." Ye Li said, "In the first few days, those plants were still very energetic. The statement is wrong. I began to imagine how happy I would be to give these flowers and plants to my grandpa. But then, the situation suddenly changed. Those broken branches stayed on the trunk and absorbed most of the nutrients from the trunk. , but it is still withering day by day. No matter how I save it, there is no strength to recover. After all, no matter how anxious I am, there is nothing I can do about it.”
Qiu Mu's expression gradually became silent.
What Ye Li said next could already be regarded as an explicit statement.He changed the description of what he wanted to express, and said it to Qiu Mu blatantly: "If you cut off all the broken branches at the beginning, then the main trunk that remains will be bruised and ugly, but it will still be broken. I can continue to live well. Maybe one day, new branches and leaves will grow, and then bloom luxuriantly. If you hold on to the end, you will get nothing but the worst ending. The process is painful, not to mention , It was not a good experience for the branches and the trunk. You can only choose to give up when you know there is no hope at the beginning, and make a conclusion on the spot like my grandfather at that time. It is not like me, endless Procrastinating, thinking that things might still have hope, miracles might happen, after such a period of torture, I watched them die bit by bit.”
Qiu Mu's fist on the bed was unconsciously clenched tightly.
His eyes were uncertain, and he lowered his head suddenly, as if he was fighting fiercely in his heart, struggling desperately.
Every time Ye Li said a word, the expression on his face became more and more uncomfortable, until finally, he sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands, panting in pain as if he lacked oxygen.There seemed to be something blocked in his throat, and his voice sounded very hoarse and depressed.
"Is there any way, I can't help it, what can I do..." Qiu Mu said: "As long as Xiao Yu and Chen Siqi break up, I have hope, as long as he is not married, then no matter how many women he has in the future Friends, I can wait until the chance to break up, I—"
But if you do this, isn't it the same as the previous life, struggling in vain?
In his previous life, he waited for ten years, and in this life he waited for another six years. Could it be that he still has to wait, until Gu Yu gets married at the age of 28 just like in his previous life?Only then can he really give up.
This is simply a copy of the green plant in Ye Li's mouth.What is the difference between what he is doing now and the plant that refuses to cut off its branches, keeps struggling, and expects a miracle to happen.
"I'm not forcing you. You are different from that potted plant, you still have a lot of time to wait." Ye Li said: "I just feel that, watching the plant that was still full of vitality, little by little It's so sad to be shriveled and eventually rot and die. I wish you had made the decision sooner so it would have hurt less."
"..." Qiu Mu lowered her head, bent her waist, and curled her body together.It looks like a small group, so pitiful and helpless.
Ye Li suddenly felt pity. He wanted to walk over and hug Qiu Mu gently, telling him not to be sad, and telling him that I was still here waiting for you, but he didn't have the qualifications.
So he stretched out his hand, wanting to reach the top of Qiu Mu's head and stroke his hair, but he paused for a while, and patted Qiu Mu's shoulder instead.Silently comforted him.
Ye Li sat up from the bed, pressed his head with one hand, and let out a slight groan from his throat.
"Are you still uncomfortable?" Qiu Mu asked.
Ye Li nodded, lifted the quilt and got off the bed: "It's a bit uncomfortable."
"Let auntie cook you a bowl of hangover soup later."
"Can you cook?"
Qiu Mu blinked: "Yes."
"You can do it for me, Auntie will think about it." He lowered his head and sniffed his cuffs. His clothes were no longer the clothes he wore when he went out. There was not much alcohol smell on his daily clothes, so he shouldn't be caught Discover.
"Okay." Qiu Mu said.
"..." Seeing Qiu Mu standing still, staring straight into his eyes, Ye Li asked, "Is there something wrong?"
"Do you remember what you did just now?" Qiu Mu asked.
Ye Li was puzzled: "Me?"
He glanced sideways at the bed with the half-opened quilt still carrying body temperature, probably wondering why Qiu Mu asked this question.
"...Did I fall asleep and do something?" He guessed.
"KTV, bathroom." Qiu Mu reminded.
"..." Looking at Qiu Mu's face, he took half a second to sort out the situation, and then began to think about what the answer Qiu Mu wanted to hear.
Is it more appropriate to play dumb and deny saying "I forgot"?Generally speaking, no matter whether he really forgot or not, Qiu Mu can choose "just pretend it never happened", and then all problems will be gone.
Commonly speaking, Qiu Mu should want to hear such an answer more.
Such thoughts quickly popped up in Ye Li's mind, and Ye Li almost blurted out the words.
But when he saw Qiu Mu's eyes fixed on his own, Ye Li quickly retracted his words, and his heart beat twice quickly. From the outside, he couldn't seem to hesitate, as if he didn't think about anything in his mind, and went directly As fast as he answered, he said, "Ah... I remembered, I was really sorry at that time."
Qiu Mu was very satisfied with this answer.
"It's okay." He turned and left Ye Li's room: "Let's go eat."
Ye Li looked at Qiu Mu's back, and heaved a sigh of relief.
Actually asked when he just woke up and didn't have time to think about the situation slowly, Qiu Mu obviously became vigilant.
Sincerely apologize, Qiu Mu will not think too much, after all, it is not uncommon to do stupid things after drinking, and the two of them will gradually forget about it after a long time.
But if you say you "don't remember", you're obviously guilty and you're wrong.
Why can't he remember?Isn't it because he is afraid that if he remembers, he will be alienated by Qiu Mu?
But if there is no ghost in his heart, why is he afraid of being alienated?It's enough to apologize upright.
That idiot Ma Bin.
Condemning secretly, Ye Li followed Qiu Mu to the living room.
Qiu Mu said: "Will you take Xiao Hei for a walk later?"
Ye Li: "Not sure."
"Then I'll take it for a walk, you can continue to sleep."
"it is good."
Aunt Huang put away the clothes that Qiu Mu and the others hung on the balcony, folded them up and put them in the bedrooms of the two of them, and then left.Neither Qiu Mu nor Ye Li had the habit of talking and chatting while eating, so the huge living room could only hear the slight sound of the collision of dishes and chopsticks, and a little bit of chewing, which seemed a bit silent.
After eating, Qiu Mu went to the kitchen to make hangover soup for Ye Li.The soup was ready in a while, put the small steaming bowl on the tea table for Ye Li, and Qiu Mu led the little black dog out the door.
"..."
Clasp your hands together, curling your fingers in a prayer gesture.With elbows resting on the knees of both legs, head lowered and hands gently supporting the chin, eyes closed and thinking started.
He recalled the things he posted in KTV before, and slowed down all the details bit by bit and kept thinking, making sure that every small move could have a proper explanation, and would not make Qiu Mu overly suspicious, Ye Li It was only after this period of self-examination was over that I breathed a sigh of relief.
It's not that he didn't think about it, so he let Qiu Mu know directly.
But the timing was really bad.
Even if Qiu Mu uses this to know that he is interested in him, Qiu Mu will only choose to escape and pretend that he doesn't know.
In this way, Ye Li doesn't even have the last chance to get close. No matter what he does, Qiu Mu will become suspicious and vigilant. Not only will the means of flattery or seduction not have a positive effect, but it will make Qiu Mu farther and farther away.
Not long ago, Ma Bin said "it's not easy for you" in the same tone of emotion. He said, "if you like others, you can probably succeed by waving your hands, but you have to be as careful as you are now." "My sisters are very cute, and they like you so much, their eyes always follow you. If you choose them, you will be very happy in the future."Such words made Ye Li stop thinking about Qiu Mu, relax, and find someone who loves him very much even though he doesn't love him very much.
Ye Li didn't listen to this sentence at all, and took it to heart.
It would be great if a relationship can be given up if you really want to give up so much.
Then Qiu Mu won't always like Gu Yu, and won't give him a look.
Like Ye Li, he felt that the difficulty was too great, so he quickly gave up and chose someone who loved him.In this way, Ye Li will have the opportunity to enter Qiu Mu's field of vision and let him choose himself.
But is that love really love?Isn't it because of emptiness and regret, so in order to find comfort, the life-saving straw and good medicine that I specially found are just props to relieve pain.
When he was in junior high school, Ye Li was confessed to by many girls in the school.At first, I still felt guilty, but after I refused, I could feel self-blame and uncomfortable when I faced the crying eyes of the other party.
So after a period of time after the refusal, Ye Li would unconsciously pay attention to the existence of the other party, wanting to see how she was doing, if she really forgot about herself, or if she still remembered him all the time.
Then one day, he saw a girl who confessed to him with a flushed face a month ago, standing side by side with a boy in a cold drink shop to buy drinks, holding hands.
——It’s just this level of love.
The other party came to confess to him with the idea of "it's okay, if it's not okay, change to another one".
Therefore, it is naive to feel that I blame myself.
Recalling the sincere face and longing eyes of the other party at that time, and the pitiful tears and crying after being rejected, I suddenly felt a little nauseous.
This is not real love, just a game.In order to make yourself happy, so as long as you are an excellent and suitable person, you can play games together.
He has no way to say that his own ideas are absolutely correct and that others' actions must be wrong.Everyone has their own way of life, no one is right or wrong.
But he could never bear to live like that.After falling in love with Qiu Mu, he couldn't bear to think about Qiu Mu with the idea of "just try it, if it doesn't work, forget it".
True love is to try to get it even if it is humble, and to fight for it even if it is selfish.
Whether it's embarrassing or cunning or excessive, as long as he can get it, he will do whatever he wants.Now that you like him, you should like him for the rest of your life and do everything you can to get him, no matter how long it takes, how many years you have to wait, or how much you have to pay, it's okay.
Some people may think that such feelings are too heavy, not in line with reality at all, and only exist in movies or TV dramas, but Ye Li thinks so.
Because that object is Qiu Mu, because he likes so much and so deeply.So he can afford to wait and is willing to wait.
As for why you like it so much...
The index finger and third finger tapped on the coffee table a few times, and his eyes casually looked at the soup bowl in front of him.
Probably because of this.
Picking it up and taking a sip of hangover soup, he found it tasted very good, Ye Li squinted his eyes and thought silently.
Qiu Mu has never drank alcohol before, how could she even know how to do this kind of thing.
Although he usually looks low-key and restrained on the outside, he seems to have no other advantages other than "excellence".But some places are really unpredictable and unpredictable.As if omnipotent, as if omniscient.Occasionally showing a hand quietly can be amazing.
At first, maybe it was because of such little surprises that he became more and more fascinated by Qiu Mu.
Before he knew it, his eyes had been looking at him.When he came back to his senses, he was the only one thinking about him.
Like the ubiquitous and breathing air, it lingers around you, and you can't get out of it, and you don't want to get out of it.
Every time I know more about Qiu Mu, I like him more deeply.The closer the distance is, the more the heart cares.
Qiu Mu is like a magnet, as long as it appears, the heart will be tightly attracted by the other party, and there is no way to control it.
He was poisoned by a poison named "Qiu Mu", he couldn't heal himself, and he didn't intend to heal himself, so he could only sink into it and let himself get sicker and worse.
When seeing Qiu Mu in KTV, Ye Li suddenly heard that joke that appeared countless times in his dream.
I thought to myself that since it was a dream, it would be okay to act a little coquettishly and satisfy the love that I can't always fill.
So he used to hug Qiu Mu in the past, no matter whether it was real or not, as long as he understood that "I am hugging Qiu Mu", an indescribable satisfaction would make him ecstasy, more than drunk To make people dreamy.
Kissing and touching were completely subconscious behaviors. Although he could no longer remember the feeling of touch at that time, at that time he really felt as if he was embracing the whole world and enjoying the unparalleled supreme happiness.
It would be great if it could be like this every day in the future.
Putting down the soup bowl, feeling the warmth remaining in his throat, Ye Chui let out a satisfied breath.
......
Qiu Mu came back very quickly, Ye Li finished the soup, put it in the kitchen to wash and walked out, when he heard the faint movement of walking from the door, and the joyous barking of a puppy.
Qiu Mu led the little black dog to open the door and walked in. Seeing Ye Li standing outside the entrance, a little outside the kitchen, she was slightly taken aback, then smiled and said, "Why didn't you go to bed?"
"After drinking the soup, I felt much better, so I didn't sleep." Ye Li said, "Where did you take it?"
Qiu Mu became embarrassed: "Xiao Hei is not willing to leave, so I will..."
Ye Li said: "That's why it's always been so fat."
"I've lost a lot of weight now." Qiu Mu defended her behavior in a low voice: "If grandpa saw it, he might think that we abused him and didn't give him food."
"You spoil it too much." Ye Li said, "Be a little self-conscious."
Qiu Mu smiled and said, "Aren't you here?"
Ye Li was helpless: "Seeing Xiao Hei, I couldn't help thinking, if I was a little lazy, would you and grandpa take care of me until I lost my self-reliance."
Qiu Mu thought for a while, then opened her eyes wide: "Maybe it's really possible!"
It is impossible for Qiu Mu to be so strict with a child. Although the old man will be dissatisfied, he will not say anything unpleasant to Ye Li.So if Ye Li had the same personality as other children, if he acted a little bit more like a baby and didn't face reality, he would probably become like other children who are loved by adults. He would not be as independent and assertive as he is now. .
Ye Li walked over and tapped Qiu Mu's forehead with his index finger: "You still say."
If he really becomes like that, he probably won't even have the last bit of ability to win over Qiu Mu.
Qiu Mu laughed twice, blocked Ye Li's second attack with her palm, and then loosened the little black dog's collar.
"It's still early, what should I do?" Qiu Mu said.
"Actually, I came up with a plan recently, and I don't know if it will work." Ye Li said, "There are more and more people using the Internet now..."
Qiu Mu listened carefully, then nodded repeatedly: "Well, the idea you said is quite interesting."
Ye Li: "Do you think it is feasible? Then I will think about it later and write a formal plan for you."
Qiu Mu smiled and said, "Okay."
Ye Li glanced at him, and then suddenly said: "Speaking of which, you don't seem to have mentioned Xiao Yu much recently."
Qiu Mu was taken aback.
After recalling it carefully, he murmured: "Hey, it seems to be..."
Then he shook his head again, and said with a relieved smile: "But isn't it the same as usual when we get along?"
Ye Li pointed out the reason and said, "Are you still waiting for him to break up with Chen Siqi?"
Qiu Mu: "Yes."
Ye Li: "Can you wait?"
Qiu Mu's tone was casual: "Of course I can wait to get it. It will probably take another half a year."
Ye Li didn't know where Qiu Mu's confidence came from.
He belongs to the school of action and theory. After careful investigation and thinking, he will act immediately.
But Qiu Mu is a bit negative in contrast, he likes to keep everything in his heart and not to say it, although he can solve most of the things with ease, but when encountering some emergencies, he seems a bit busy To deal with it, I can only accept it hastily and passively "beaten".
It was the same when Gu Yu suddenly dated Chen Siqi at first, and it was also before Chen Siqi appeared.He neither took the initiative to fight nor launched an attack, so he didn't know what Qiu Mu was thinking.
Although Ye Li wanted to correct this habit that Qiu Mu himself hadn't noticed, but since the situation was in his favor, it's better to wait and say nothing.
He said, "Really, there is still half a year left."
The buffer time of half a year has put a certain distance between Qiu Mu and Gu Yu, which is enough for him to do a lot of things.
Qiu Mu suddenly remembered something, and said: "By the way, you still remember, I told you that the condition for my mother to let me come back to study is to give her a few competition titles."
Ye Li: "Remember, what's wrong?"
Qiu Mu: "Among the five competitions, the first test of biology is almost here, and the other four subjects are in the second half of the year, so I think it's better to give up biology altogether and focus on other subjects."
Ye Li asked: "'Five events'?"
Qiu Mu explained: "It's a national competition. We are science students. There are five science competitions: mathematics, physics, chemistry, information, and biology. The importance and difficulty are listed in the order I said, and biology is at the end. noodle."
Ye Li blinked: "So, which ones do you want to take?"
Qiu Mu answered the first three questions, and then said, "Do you want to take the exam with me?"
Ye Li probably understood the reason why Qiu Mu suddenly brought up this matter.
He said briskly, "Yes."
Qiu Mu smiled: "I knew it - I have learned all the knowledge points in high school, and I have nothing to do at hand, you will definitely agree."
Ye Li: "If you win this competition, can you get extra points in the college entrance examination or something?"
Qiu Mu: "Not only can you get extra points, but you can also get recommended admission qualifications. The better your test scores, the more and better schools you can choose from."
Ye Li couldn't help but said, "Isn't this a great opportunity!"
Qiu Mu smiled and said, "That's right, so if you have the spare energy, you'd better take the exam, you won't be at a disadvantage anyway, right?"
Qiu Mu said it was easy, but in fact, for most high school students, it is very difficult to finish the homework at hand. It is simply impossible to spare time and energy to do this. Task.
It was only the two of them who had learned all the content of high school in junior high school, and only then could they make this choice without hesitation.
Qiu Mu said: "The competition time is from July to November. There are three competitions for each subject, the municipal preliminary competition, the provincial league competition, and the national final. If we can enter the national final, we will be able to compete in all competitions by the end of November at the latest. finish exam."
Ye Li calculated the date: "There are still about five months before the first competition."
Qiu Mu smiled and said, "Do you feel quite sure?"
Five months is enough for them to study these three subjects over and over several times.
Ye Li nodded, showing full confidence: "Yes."
"In two days, I'll talk to the teachers in the school about this, and then ask my parents to find two tutors who are knowledgeable about this competition." After explaining this sentence, Qiu Mu patted Ye Li's shoulder: "I'll go to Xiao Yu and talk to him too."
With an expression he had expected a long time ago, Ye Li said: "Okay."
Ten minutes later, Qiu Mu came back.Ye Li was sitting in the bedroom turning on the computer when Qiu Mu knocked on the door and walked in.
Looking back at Qiu Mu, Ye Li raised his eyebrows lightly: "What's wrong?"
There was something wrong with Qiu Mu's expression: "...Xiao Yu is not at home."
Ye Li pondered for a while, and probably guessed what happened.
"Are aunt and uncle at home?"
"Both are here." Qiu Mu said: "They called Xiao Yu in front of me, and then Xiao Yu said the wrong thing... I guess they can't hide it."
Ye Li thought for a while and said, "He didn't tell us that he was going out today."
"Probably because I heard about Ma Li's birthday and knew that we would spend the night there, so I was negligent." Qiu Mu said, "It's past eight o'clock now."
"..." Ye Li's eyes were a little weird. He was thinking of something, but he didn't have the nerve to say it in front of Qiu Mu. He felt that Qiu Mu probably thought of it too, so he changed it directly. Topic: "Uncle probably wouldn't say anything, but Auntie's words..."
She has said in front of Qiu Mu and the others more than once that puppy love is not allowed.
Qiu Mu sighed with a complicated expression.
His shoulders slumped, and he sat down on the edge of the bed dejectedly.Put your arms back, support the bed, lean your body back, and look up at the ceiling above your head.
"Suddenly feel very tired." Qiu Mu said: "It's very boring, I don't want to think about anything."
Ye Li said: "You feel uncomfortable in your heart."
After all, even if his heart could make a sound, he wouldn't say 'pain' to others, so he directly reflected this idea on his body.
Qiu Mu smiled with a slightly pale expression, said "maybe", and then said: "You may not believe it, I have experienced this feeling many times, but I can't adapt to it every time."
"I'm used to it, and I can't feel it anymore, which means you don't love him anymore." Ye Li said softly.
Qiu Mu smiled bitterly: "Sometimes, I really don't know what kind of feelings I have for Xiao Yu now. It's been too long, the habit has been integrated into the bone marrow, and I have already forgotten to think. It's like people have to breathe, and I have to like it too." Like light rain, naturally, day after day."
Now his physical age is 16 years old, and the time he has been secretly in love with Gu Yu before and after adds up to exactly 16 years.
From the heartbeat at the beginning, to the entanglement later, and finally tormented by pain tolerance and negative self-blame again and again, until now, apart from the habitual bitterness, I am so exhausted that I can't even surge up the strength to resist.
Gu Yu fell in love with Gu Yu when he first met him in college, and he didn't change his mind until he graduated from college. At that time, Qiu Mu was surprised by his persistence, but he didn't expect that he would be so firm after liking someone.
Later, with the passage of time and the growth of being with Gu Yu year after year, he was too lazy to calculate such things anymore.I refuse to give up this relationship every year, watching the time dragging on, and now it has reached the No. 16 year, which makes people feel complicated.
A long period of self-proclaimed long-term love is definitely not an exaggeration.
"I just want the person I like to also like me." Qiu Mu said, "Isn't this too much to ask?"
"Hmm." Ye Li's gaze fixed on Qiu Mu, watching him mourn for others, watching him show his love for others, and he could clearly feel the pain in his heart.
"Why do the people I like always want to like others, why don't they just look at me and come to like me." Qiu Mu murmured, "I wish I had more courage."
Ye Li was silent for a while, and said, "You just cherish it too much."
If he didn't like Qiu Mu, he might think Qiu Mu's actions were stupid and cowardly.Long-winded, wobbly and hesitant like a little girl.
"If you say it, you may lose the other person. In the eyes of others, your approach may be stupid. It is because they have not faced this situation. They do not value the people we value, so there is nothing to be afraid of losing. .That's why I can say irresponsible things casually."
Qiu Mu couldn't help but nodded again and again, he thought he had found a comrade in arms.
But who would have thought that Ye Li would pour cold water on him again.
"But if you cherish it, you might miss it." Ye Li's words sound contradictory to those before: "'Not getting' is no different from 'losing', isn't it."
"..."
Ye Li thought for a while and said, "Do you still remember those plants raised by grandpa?"
Qiu Mu looked at Ye Li: "I remember, what's wrong."
Ye Li recalled it for a while, and said: "It should be in the second semester of the second year of junior high school. Didn't Guangling have a big typhoon? At that time, the flowers and plants that grandpa raised in the yard were seriously damaged."
Qiu Mu: "Yes."
But so what, Ye Li suddenly mentioned what to do.
"At that time, I saw the plants that my grandpa took care of every day turned into such a pity. I wanted to help my grandpa reduce the loss as much as possible and save the plants." Ye Li said, "But when I was holding an umbrella and standing In the courtyard, when I wanted to run a few more times to bring all the flowers and plants back, I saw Grandpa went over to take a look at them, and only took away a few pots that were intact, and left all the others alone."
Qiu Mu became slightly interested.
This is something he doesn't know.
"why?"
"Grandpa said that there is no need to take care of those." Ye Li said: "But in my opinion, those plants were just watered a little too much, and some of the branches were broken by the wind."
Qiu Mu nodded and listened carefully.
"Although it's broken, as long as you wait a bit, cultivate and take care of it carefully, it should be able to recover." Ye Li said, "That's what I thought at the time."
"What did grandpa say?"
"Grandpa didn't say anything at the time." Ye Li said: "He only told me that since I think it can be restored, let me take care of these plants, and then return them to him one day in the future when they feel that there is no problem. "
Qiu Mu looked thoughtfully.
"So I took care of it seriously and followed my grandfather's usual practice, without any negligence."
Qiu Mu believes that since Ye Li said so, he must have really cared about doing it.
However, in his memory, it seems that after the typhoon, the number of plants in the garden was halved, that is to say...
"How did you do it?" Qiu Mu asked.
"As usual, I did it seriously and carefully." Ye Li said: "But looking back, it's because I'm 'the same as usual', I don't change anything, and I don't want to give up anything. It will kill all those potted plants."
Qiu Mu raised her eyebrows slightly: "How should I say it?"
"Didn't you tell me before that the branches of the potted flowers I took were all broken?" Ye Li said: "Grandpa reminded me at the time that it's best to cut them all off, maybe there is still a chance to save them. But I saw that if it was all cut off, wouldn’t there be nothing left but a little bare trunk? Even if I survived, I would be ashamed to give it to my grandpa, after all, it’s meaningless to continue to grow this kind of plant , I always feel like I'm cheating."
Qiu Mu said "hmm": "And then?"
"Then, I realized deeply that what grandpa said was indeed correct." Ye Li said, "In the first few days, those plants were still very energetic. The statement is wrong. I began to imagine how happy I would be to give these flowers and plants to my grandpa. But then, the situation suddenly changed. Those broken branches stayed on the trunk and absorbed most of the nutrients from the trunk. , but it is still withering day by day. No matter how I save it, there is no strength to recover. After all, no matter how anxious I am, there is nothing I can do about it.”
Qiu Mu's expression gradually became silent.
What Ye Li said next could already be regarded as an explicit statement.He changed the description of what he wanted to express, and said it to Qiu Mu blatantly: "If you cut off all the broken branches at the beginning, then the main trunk that remains will be bruised and ugly, but it will still be broken. I can continue to live well. Maybe one day, new branches and leaves will grow, and then bloom luxuriantly. If you hold on to the end, you will get nothing but the worst ending. The process is painful, not to mention , It was not a good experience for the branches and the trunk. You can only choose to give up when you know there is no hope at the beginning, and make a conclusion on the spot like my grandfather at that time. It is not like me, endless Procrastinating, thinking that things might still have hope, miracles might happen, after such a period of torture, I watched them die bit by bit.”
Qiu Mu's fist on the bed was unconsciously clenched tightly.
His eyes were uncertain, and he lowered his head suddenly, as if he was fighting fiercely in his heart, struggling desperately.
Every time Ye Li said a word, the expression on his face became more and more uncomfortable, until finally, he sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands, panting in pain as if he lacked oxygen.There seemed to be something blocked in his throat, and his voice sounded very hoarse and depressed.
"Is there any way, I can't help it, what can I do..." Qiu Mu said: "As long as Xiao Yu and Chen Siqi break up, I have hope, as long as he is not married, then no matter how many women he has in the future Friends, I can wait until the chance to break up, I—"
But if you do this, isn't it the same as the previous life, struggling in vain?
In his previous life, he waited for ten years, and in this life he waited for another six years. Could it be that he still has to wait, until Gu Yu gets married at the age of 28 just like in his previous life?Only then can he really give up.
This is simply a copy of the green plant in Ye Li's mouth.What is the difference between what he is doing now and the plant that refuses to cut off its branches, keeps struggling, and expects a miracle to happen.
"I'm not forcing you. You are different from that potted plant, you still have a lot of time to wait." Ye Li said: "I just feel that, watching the plant that was still full of vitality, little by little It's so sad to be shriveled and eventually rot and die. I wish you had made the decision sooner so it would have hurt less."
"..." Qiu Mu lowered her head, bent her waist, and curled her body together.It looks like a small group, so pitiful and helpless.
Ye Li suddenly felt pity. He wanted to walk over and hug Qiu Mu gently, telling him not to be sad, and telling him that I was still here waiting for you, but he didn't have the qualifications.
So he stretched out his hand, wanting to reach the top of Qiu Mu's head and stroke his hair, but he paused for a while, and patted Qiu Mu's shoulder instead.Silently comforted him.
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