Hollywood Rhapsody

"After 22 years of running with him, Leonardo DiCaprio finally won the Oscar statuette. Is there any more inspirational story in the world than this?"

"Professional accompanying runners for 20 years, take stock of the world's top ten famous professional accompanying runners!"

"Walking with the running emperor for ten thousand years finally took away the little golden man, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, Oscars will be nothing to watch from now on!"

In 2016, Leonardo DiCaprio won the Best Actor Award at the 88th Academy Awards for his movie "The Revenant". The world went crazy, and even the media interviewed Far In Space Astronauts at the station asked about Leonardo's impression of winning the Oscar. There is no doubt that the memes between Leonardo and Oscar have swept the universe!

However, when the whole world was reveling for the new film star, he himself was drunk at the celebration party, and his last memory was being surrounded by three beautiful supermodels, pouring into a glass of wine that occupied the entire bedroom. On the big bed.

The alarm clock kept ringing, and he murmured irritably, but before he opened his eyes, a kiss had already landed on his forehead, followed by a gentle female voice: "Honey, I'm going to a meeting. You can sleep a little longer. I set an alarm clock for you in two hours. Rui Fan will definitely wake up by then! And Noah, you promised him that you will accompany him today Playing basketball, love you..."

"Got it, got it." Leonardo waved his hand impatiently. What kind of dream is this?Whose married woman is nagging in the ear, it's so annoying!

He rubbed against the soft quilt and soon fell asleep again. However, when the alarm clock rang again two hours later, accompanied by the ear-piercing cry of a baby and the rapid knocking on the door, he finally had to get out of bed. In the dreamland, he struggled to open his eyes, and then he was stunned—is this still his bedroom?Who is playing a prank on him, those three hot supermodels last night?

"Father, hurry up, Rui Fan's voice is almost hoarse from crying, he shitted!" A boy's voice came in from outside the door, and the content almost scared Leonardo from the bed. flip down.

what? What?He must be dreaming, right?Who do you call daddy?Leonardo shrank unconsciously towards the head of the bed, his gaze at the bedroom door was horrifying, and then something even more horrifying happened...

He pinched his thigh fiercely, hoping that he would wake up from this nightmare quickly, but the severe pain in his leg made him grin his teeth, and he rubbed his leg quickly out of instinct, but the movement quickly stopped Stop, the whole person is like an electric shock, and like a cat with fried hair, this hand...feeling... He lifted the quilt in horror, Leonardo looked at those...legs...

"God. Is this my leg? And this belly, where's my belly? Where did this fucking six-pack come from?" Leonardo didn't care about the constant knocking on the door The child immediately jumped up from the bed as if being stabbed in the ass, found the mirror, and then his eyes suddenly widened, as if the eyeballs were about to pop out of the eye sockets, and the mouth was also opened wide enough to fit a egg.

"Is it me, or is it me? This face is still mine? But why are you so young?" He patted his face, pinched it on the left side, rubbed it on the right side, and pulled it out again, as if to give the whole face Mianpi was doing relaxation exercises, but when he looked closely, the handsome young man with six-pack abs was still in the mirror!At this moment, Mr. DiCaprio, who has returned to the peak of his appearance, thinks of dreaming first!Even if I pinch my leg and it hurts, it must be a dream!So what should he do next in his dream?That old bar you used to frequent isn't closed yet, is it?Let's go for a stroll in a while!

Leonardo was enjoying the idea of ​​clubbing and bewitching countless beauties and supermodels, while looking around, he found that this was indeed his room, but the decoration was obviously quite different from before, and soon his eyes fell on the table beside the bed. A photo was posted: "Hey, what happened?"

This is a family portrait, in which he is embracing a beautiful woman with a baby in her arms, and beside him is a beautiful little boy.What kind of trouble is this family of four seeing?Also, the time displayed on the watch is 2004?

Leonardo seemed to be frightened, and staggered back two steps. At this moment, he unexpectedly remembered the words he had heard in his sleep?The one whispering softly in the ear should be the beautiful woman in the photo, right?Although he had to admit that this woman was very beautiful, if he had met her before, he would probably have chased her to sleep with her, but now, he really can't imagine that he will get married and have children one day, and even have two children!What he couldn't ignore was the words of the woman before. The woman was busy going to meetings and going to work, while he stayed at home to take care of the children. Was the role reversed?sky?Could it be that he eats soft food?Leonardo grabbed his hair, feeling the urge to hit the wall!The world view has been completely subverted, the world has collapsed, can it be restored?He hasn't watched any supernatural novels or weird movies recently, even if he travels through time and space, he can't marry a wife and have a son!The persona collapsed!

Slapping himself hard on the face twice, Leonardo forced himself to calm down. He took two deep breaths before forcing a smile. When he opened the door, he saw the little boy who had been knocking on the door. The little boy is unbelievably beautiful, his facial features are very similar to the woman in the photo, and his golden hair is very pure. It seems good to have such a good-looking son, but why doesn't he miss himself at all?Leonardo secretly complained in his heart, could it be that his genetic combat effectiveness is that bad?

The little guy was looking up at him dissatisfied, and said with contempt: "Dad, you are sleeping late again! Didn't you hear your little son's cry?"

Although the little guy didn't continue talking, both his expression and his eyes were silently condemning, as if he was saying—[How can there be such an irresponsible father in the world, who sleeps in bed and his son is crying to death? Regardless, contempt, 1 contempt! 】

"What... what are you doing?" Leonardo avoided the little guy's sight, followed the crying and walked towards the baby's room. Sure enough, he saw a little baby in the blue crib with tears in his eyes. After seeing him, Xiao.'s mouth was flattened, and the cry suddenly amplified, which was more than two decibels higher than before!The little guy was obviously very dissatisfied with his father, and he was protesting with the most violent cry!

However, the father who was supposed to serve him in a hurry when he heard the cry, now his eyes are fixed on the corner of his bed!I have never seen such a luxurious and domineering baby crib!It's not that the crib is made of gold, but each of the four feet has a golden trophy...

And they are all statuettes with their arms around their chests!

Must be watching a sci-fi movie!Otherwise, how could there be four statuettes in the family!Use four statuettes as crib posts?How domineering is this family?

Involuntarily picked up the trophy, Leonardo’s mind was already frantically swiping the screen—the Oscar’s statuette does not have inscriptions, but the information of the winners, including the name, award category, film and award time, will be engraved on a sheet of paper. On the gold foil, after receiving the award, go to the backstage of the ceremony to place the gold foil engraved with the winner's information on the seat of the statuette.Having just got his first statuette, Leonardo's gaze quickly fell on the bases of the four statuettes, and then... the whole person opened his mouth wide and entered a petrified state as if struck by lightning.

Even the baby's increasingly piercing and intense crying could not drag him back from the shock.

He was completely in an unspeakably terrible mood, Sarah Stern?Sarah Stern?Sarah Stern?Sarah Stern?

With such a little expectation, this is at least his home, right?Can there be at least one of the four statuettes?Anyway, this world is already very fantasy, so it seems understandable even if he got the statuette in 2004 in advance, right?

But looking around, the same person's name is engraved on the bases of the four statuettes, that is Sarah Stern!Even thinking about it with his toes, he knew it was a woman's name, and what was even more frightening was that it was probably his wife's name.too!fear!terror!up!Could there be anything more terrifying than this?What kind of monster did he marry?Living with such a wife, wouldn't life be loveless?

"Dad, what's the matter with you? Why are you staring at Rui Fan's bed in a daze, he's almost crying to death!" Noah couldn't bear it anymore, and reminded his father dissatisfiedly not to wander anymore, while pulling Rui Fan's diaper away , and then something yellow, unexplainable, and sticky appeared in the sight of the two of them. Although the little guy doesn't smell bad, this visual effect is still very impactful, especially For Leonardo, who had never been a father, there was really no difference between his youngest son's papa and a biological weapon.

Whether this is a ridiculous dream or not, but here he is, and the boy in front of him is calling him daddy, so Leonardo forces himself to help change the baby's diaper, although he is extremely reluctant, but this is obviously also a dream. Technical work, the great Mr. DiCaprio, the best actor in the 88th Oscar, can do everything in the movie world, fly to the sky and escape the earth, but he scratches his head when faced with a diaper full of yellow poop Completely overwhelmed.

By the way, you can check it on your mobile phone. Mr. DiCaprio’s first reaction was to search on Google on his mobile phone. He forced himself not to pay too much attention to the golden four feet of the bed, but ran back to the bedroom to look for his mobile phone. However, He was completely dumbfounded when he got the mobile phone. He forgot that it is 2004 and smart phones have just begun to become popular. How can they be as advanced and omnipotent as they were in 2016?

Just when he was helpless, the crying in the baby room had stopped, and then his eldest son Noah had already carried Rui Fan, who had completely changed his diaper, and walked to the bedroom. They all cast contemptuous eyes at him, yes, contempt!Even the little baby who cried with a small voice and flushed face from crying before had undisguised contempt in his eyes, as if saying [I am so unlucky to have such a father! 】

Leonardo was very depressed, and wanted to ask Noah by his ear [Since you know everything, why do you keep knocking on my door and let me go? 】

Probably because the resentment in his heart was too deep, even if Noah didn't hear his voice, he knew what he was thinking, Noah snorted and said: "Yesterday was my brother who took care of me, we agreed, today it's your turn, But I didn't expect you to stay in bed."

"...cough cough..." Leonardo opened his mouth, showing no face, looked at Noah and Rui Fan at the door, and after a while he couldn't speak, "The door is obviously unlocked, why didn't you just come in?"

"Isn't that because...because..." Noah, who was very confident a second ago and was going to hold the daddy meeting, suddenly blushed, and his pretty little face turned into a red apple, groaning. Chi seemed to be hard to say, he hugged his younger brother and walked downstairs, he answered in a voice that Leonardo could barely hear, "Isn't it because the last time I opened the door and ran into you and mom?" ...um...do that kind of thing, so I will never take the initiative to open the door again, even if mom is not around, who knows if you will be alone...um...looking at mom's photo..."

Subconsciously turned her head to look at the head of the bed, the warm family portrait is in front of her eyes, the woman in the photo is indeed very beautiful, even if placed in Hollywood, she is a top beauty, but... brat!Could it be that your father and I will react to such a warm family portrait?How many beasts do I want?How horny?To do such a thing?brat!don't go!Speak clearly, hey!

At this moment, Mr. DiCaprio's heart is broken...

It's a pity that the two children in the family can't understand his complicated mood at the moment, and they won't give him a chance to sort out the logic alone and appease his fragile little heart. Soon, Noah's dissatisfied greeting came from downstairs: " Dad, are you still going downstairs? You must keep your word, you should take care of my younger brother today, he needs milk when he is hungry!"

Whose son is this?This must not be my son!How did my son grow up like this?Don't respect the old and love the young at all!While complaining in his heart, Leonardo had already agreed loudly, and ran downstairs. Fortunately, everything was in the kitchen. It was really difficult for him to change diapers, but because he likes small animals , He has fed puppies, kittens, and even tiger cubs, so making milk powder is not a problem for him. He even has the mood to make milk powder while teasing his two sons, watching Rui Fan grinned, showing a silly, innocent smile, and Leonardo's heart was hit by something, and it became soft. New life always has this kind of magical power, it can conquer everything, no matter what. See in those fairy tales, even in the middle of the jungle, the wolf is reluctant to kill the human milk baby!

Leonardo was completely unaware that he was subconsciously thinking of this place as a jungle adventure, comparing himself to a...wolf who took care of...human cubs, and there was no comparison like that!

"You. Mom said, we're going to play basketball today?" Leonardo hugged Rui Fan's limp body, fearing that a single force would crush the little guy's bones. At the same time, he did not ignore his elder son Noah, especially Noah. Ya is watching him secretly with the eyes of observing aliens (actually observing idiots), which makes him very embarrassed, so he has nothing to say.

"That's right, we made an appointment to play basketball this afternoon, and Uncle Toby." Noah looked suspiciously at his unreliable father as he spoke. He felt that his father was usually a little unreliable. , Today he was more and more absent, as if he hadn't woken up, which made him immediately alert. Before Leonardo spoke again, the little guy had already reminded loudly, "You have missed three appointments. Last week you Suddenly, I had the idea to leave Rui Fan and me behind, and just take my mother to go surfing. Last week, a director came to invite you to make a movie. The director seems to be very famous, so you left me and came back very late. And last week, you and your mother hid in the room all morning and didn't come out. In the afternoon, you sent me and Rui Fan directly to grandma. You said it was to talk about work? But don't think I don't know what you are doing. Well, hum..."

Noah stared at Leonardo vigilantly, as if Leonardo was his prey. This time, he had to watch closely, so that this guy could not escape from the cage again. This look made Leonardo quite embarrassed, especially Noah mentioned what happened last week, ahem, it seems that he and his wife are living in harmony!

At this time, in another parallel world, the other Leonardo was also completely shocked, seeing his fat body, his chubby belly, and the three naked, sexy, sexy You on the bed. .Things, inexplicably fell into the silk cave when he woke up (because there is a wife who loves Chinese culture, Mr. DiCaprio has read "Journey to the West"), Leonardo almost let out a cry He screamed miserably, as if he had been kidnapped and gang-raped, it was inhumane!

Especially when a young model next to him woke up humming, and her body as soft as a snake stuck to him, hugging his neck, and at the same time another supermodel also woke up, hugging him very intimately. one arm, and the hand caresses. Some unspeakable part of him...

Leonardo's whole body was petrified, he was so frightened that he almost rolled over from the bed to the ground, the three white bodies were too scary!As if he had encountered the end of the world, he grabbed the bed sheet on the ground and rushed out, escaping from this terrifying silk hole. When he ran out, he found that this was indeed his house, with the same layout, only the decoration completely different.

In front of a large mirror in the living room, Leonardo carefully looked at himself and was about to cry. What is going on with this Nima's fat body?Was he under some spell?Like was the aunt in Harry Potter blown up?However, the TV was still on at this time, and the host reported the news about him in an exaggerated tone - running with him for more than 20 years! ?How can it be?

He was told on TV that chasing the little golden man was like an infatuated man who couldn’t ask for it, but he finally won the little golden man the night before, with a movie called "The Revenant"... the movie zoomed in on the TV The poster made Leonardo stagger, this appearance is enough!

However, as a wife slave, Leonardo's first reaction was not to wonder what was going on with this movie?Instead, he wandered around the room, wondering if he should go upstairs to drive the three strange women away, and then destroy all the evidence of the crime, so that his Sarah... Huh?etc!There seems to be something wrong!

Leonardo is scratching his hair all over the house looking for his and Sarah's wedding photos, where is his wife?And what about their two cute little kids?God, what should I do?Where's his baby Sarah?There is no trace of it at all!The most frightening thing was that the Oscar award ceremony was played back on TV, and the one who accompanied him to the ceremony was not his dear wife, but his mother. How could this be possible!He will abandon his dear wife unless it rains red, oh no!If he walked the red carpet with his mother, which man would his wife walk the red carpet with?

Did they break up?A big thunderbolt from the blue sky!

In particular, there was no mention of his wife in his thank you words, divorced?It's 2016 now, God knows what happened in the past ten years!Could it be that guy Ian Mellon finally succeeded in poaching?Ahhhhh!How can this be?

He was still thinking that if Sarah found out that he was fooling around with three women, he would have to divorce him, but now he wished that Sarah could ask him for a divorce. At least it would mean that he still has a wife!Leonardo fell down on the sofa, buried his face in his hands and wanted to cry, what kind of bad dream is this?He must find a way to wake up quickly!I don't know what time it is, but he has already promised to take care of his two sons today, if he sleeps late, he will definitely be read by his wife.

Too bad, really bad, Leonardo looked in the mirror and looked at his obviously old face and fat and out-of-shape figure ten years later with distaste, feeling that he was no longer loveable!His Sarah doesn't like fat people the most!His family Sarah... When he thought of the possibility of divorce, even though he knew it was probably a dream, he couldn't calm down.But at this moment, the three beauties from the upstairs came down. The three girls' bodies look amazing at first glance, but you want to show off your perfect body so much that you can walk down naked ?Leonardo believes that any man will be excited when he sees this scene, and at the same time that some unspeakable parts react, blood will spurt from both nostrils, but Mr. DiCaprio is not in the mood to appreciate it at all. .

He just wanted to cry, and kept thinking in his heart——Wife, where are you?

Daughter-in-law is so scary here!

Wife, don't get me wrong, I have nothing to do with these three ugly monsters!

Wife, I must lose weight!Don't despise me!

The author has something to say: Ahhhh!Accidentally, the extra time was so long, Dai Lin felt great!

Are you satisfied after eating?

谢谢达菲猫扔了1个地雷投掷时间:2017-01-3103:01:12

The first red envelope of the year of the rooster, yum!Thanks!