In the Same Boat

Although Qu Yiheng looks like a soft persimmon that anyone can squeeze, in fact, he has never wronged himself.

Whether it was biting Yao Zhan back then, or the cannon shot at the reunion later, he did it voluntarily. If he didn't want to, no one could force him.

He has long felt that life is too short, and the only thing he should do is to make himself as happy as possible.

He didn't force himself, wronged himself, or forced himself. That's why he loved his lover openly and broke up happily.

On weekdays, if he doesn't want to go out, then he doesn't, and if he doesn't want to talk to people, then he doesn't. On these matters that he can decide by himself, he firmly defends his rights.

Of course, the matter of receiving manuscripts in an emergency can't be counted in it. Although that kind of thing is tiring, annoying, and makes him have complicated emotions, he is still willing to accept it. After all, he wants to earn money to eat.

In contrast, going out with someone is the first item on his blacklist in life, but now, he agreed to Yao Zhan's company without even thinking about it.

Therefore, many things are not because I don’t want to do them, but because I don’t want to do them alone.

It can also be said that some things are only willing to be done with specific people.

At this moment Qu Yiheng understood that Yao Zhan was really special to him, but if he got to the bottom of what was so special, he couldn't tell.

There were few topics and few words between them. It was a little awkward at first, but after drinking for a while, they all relaxed.

Qu Yiheng didn't know if it was because he had been drinking, but he rarely felt uncomfortable in the crowd. He leaned back in his chair, trying to figure out what words were being sung in the looping songs.

Yao Zhan thought he was in a daze, and asked him, "Are you feeling bored?"

"It's okay." Qu Yiheng smiled, and then saw Yao Zhan drink up the cup in one gulp.

Seeing that the other party had finished drinking, he raised his hand and drank it himself. The two looked at each other and smiled, got up and went out the door.

From the bar to the hotel, it takes less than half an hour by taxi.

Qu Yiheng felt as if he had returned to the last time they met. They sat in the back seat of the taxi like this, with their thighs pressed against each other. It was obvious that the car was very air-conditioned, but they were still sweating.

Both of them didn't drink much alcohol today, and even the smell of alcohol on their bodies was not that strong, but when the taxi braked suddenly, Yao Zhan subconsciously protected Qu Yiheng and put him in his arms, Qu Yiheng felt a little drunk up.

He suddenly remembered the smell of Yao Zhan when he was a boy. It was different from the reality. It was the kind of clean and light washing powder smell. Every time he approached each other with his eyes closed, he could smell that fragrance first.

He liked it very much, even for many years later, he didn't specifically recall Yao Zhan, but every time he went to buy washing powder, he always subconsciously looked for that familiar smell.

However, he never found it.

Now Yao Zhan has a light perfume smell on his body, which makes people feel comfortable and at ease.

The two Yao Zhan are different people, Qu Yiheng can't say which one he would like to meet more, in fact, either one is good, and either one can make him feel that his life like stagnant water has come back to life.

When he was kissed and pushed down on the bed, he suddenly understood the reason why he accepted Yao Zhan's body invitation. He was indeed too lonely, so lonely that he needed someone to tell him that he was actually alive.

When he was lying on the bed, Qu Yiheng would be in a daze. He obviously held a good amount of alcohol and didn't drink much, but he felt dizzy and didn't even know where he was for a few seconds.

He heard Yao Zhan's breathing, he heard the other party asking him questions, and he heard a voice so vague that he wasn't sure if it was his own.

Yao Zhan pinched his waist, and his lips stuck to the tattoo on his shoulder.

Afterwards, Yao Zhan asked him, "Is this a sentence?"

Qu Yiheng lay there, touching the tattoo on his shoulder.

Yao Zhan bit red that place again.

"Ah."

Yao Zhan's fingers caressed the black words tattooed on the white shoulder, and he asked, "What do you mean?"

Qu Yiheng didn't speak, so Yao Zhan didn't ask any more questions, just leaned forward, and started the next round in the intimacy.

This person made Yao Zhan realize what it means to know the essence of food. He never expected that Qu Yiheng 15 years ago would attract him so much.

The two fit together just right, and even every detail of what they did was perfectly suited to his liking.

The voice is very good, the strength of the response is very good, even the tears that are about to fall from the corners of the eyes and wiped away by the pillow are very good.

Yao Zhan thought, it’s okay, I’m content, meeting such a person not only fills up the fantasies of my youth, but also an unexpected gift for myself in my thirties.

A gift for grown men.

Qu Yiheng insisted on going home that night, even though it was past twelve o'clock, even though Yao Zhan really asked him if he wanted to stay.

For Qu Yiheng, no matter how special Yao Zhan is, the relationship between the two is only in bed, and once they stay overnight, they will become too ambiguous.

He was a little afraid of this kind of ambiguity, because obviously, the people around Yao Zhan didn't know that he was gay, which meant that in some respects, Yao Zhan might not be more reliable than his two ex-boyfriends.

For such a person, he can only accept physical contact with the other party, and don't want more.

It's more ambiguous, and it's not good for anyone.

"By the way, I almost forgot something." Yao Zhan lifted the quilt and got off the bed, naked, squatting in front of the suitcase and looking through it.

When he stood up and walked towards Qu Yiheng again, he was holding an umbrella in his hand.

"Last time you left on my car."

This umbrella was rented by Qu Yiheng from the hotel, and the name of the hotel was printed on it.

"I forgot." Qu Yiheng took it, thanked him, straightened his pants again, looked up and said, "Then I'll go first."

Yao Zhan only said once to persuade him to stay, since the other party wanted to leave, there was no need for him to force him to stay.

"Well, go back and pay attention to safety, and let me know when you get home."

Qu Yiheng opened the door and left, saying good night to him as he left.

The door was closed, and Yao Zhan stood there for a while, then went to the bed and sat down, lighting a cigarette.

He was facing the direction of the bathroom, looking at himself reflected in the glass, and only himself.

When Qu Yiheng got home, Dou Yucong was still awake, and ran out while brushing his teeth when he heard the door open.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Qu Yiheng asked casually.

Dou Yucong went back to the bathroom, spit out the toothpaste in his mouth, rinsed his mouth, and asked him, "Why are you so late?"

Qu Yiheng didn't answer, and put the umbrella in the drawer of the cabinet by the door.

He was still not feeling well, as long as he moved, he could recall the feeling Yao Zhan gave him. It wasn't that feeling that made him uncomfortable, but that the other party was too violent, and he needed time to recover afterwards.

Dou Yucong came out of the bathroom and watched him slowly walk towards the room: "Have you been drinking?"

"Yeah." Qu Yiheng passed by Dou Yucong and went straight into the bedroom, "I'm going to bed, so you go to bed early too."

The door of his room was closed, but Dou Yucong looked in the direction where he closed the door suspiciously.

Just now, Qu Yiheng passed by him, and what wafted into his nose was not the smell of alcohol or cigarettes, but the fresh scent of shower gel. He clearly meant to go out to eat and drink, but when he came back, he seemed to have just taken a bath. What does this mean? ?

Dou Yucong lay on the door again, and asked in a low voice, "Are you really going to drink?"

"Yes." Qu Yiheng lay on the bed and looked at the ceiling. He felt a little tired and didn't want to move.

"With that old classmate of yours?" Dou Yucong continued to ask, "Yao Zhan?"

Qu Yiheng didn't speak, turned over, hugged the quilt in his arms, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

He had a dream, dreaming that he and Yao Zhan, who was in his thirties, were doing that kind of thing in the school gymnasium. The sound of those boys playing basketball was next to their ears, but the two of them didn't seem to be afraid of anything.

When he woke up, it was already daylight. Qu Yiheng picked up his phone and checked the time, and found that Yao Zhan had sent two messages while he was sleeping.

After one o'clock, Yao Zhan asked him if he was home.

Yao Zhan said at seven o'clock that he was going to class and would contact him later.

Only then did Qu Yiheng remember that the other party asked him to tell him when he got home, but he fell asleep right away after he came back, without taking off his clothes.

He felt a little sorry and sent Yao Zhan a message back.

After changing into pajamas and opening the door, Qu Yiheng felt that his body was sticky from sleeping all night, and he wanted to take a shower quickly.

At eight o'clock in the morning, Dou Yucong was not at home, and Qu Yiheng didn't ask where he was, and fell asleep again after washing.

At ten o'clock, Qu Yiheng was woken up by the phone. It was his teacher who called, and it was about that matter, asking him how the preparation of the work was going, and whether he had thought about participating or not.

Qu Yiheng glanced at his drawing board, he hadn't finished drawing the man on it.

"I have not decided yet."

"What can I say about you?" The teacher sighed, "You have to come out, and you can't punish yourself with other people's mistakes."

"It was actually my mistake."

"Stubbornness! I've said so much for nothing!" The teacher was so angry that his teeth were itching, "Don't worry about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, start preparing the work right now, and you go to participate!"

The teacher hung up the phone, but Qu Yiheng kept his posture of answering the phone, staring at the painting.

It's a man lying on the water, and you don't know if he's dead and floating on the water, or if he's about to sink to the bottom of the water.

The painting is not yet finished, and he is not sure whether he can finish it.

He remembered that Yao Zhan asked him what the tattoo on his shoulder meant last night, but he didn't answer.

It meant that the answer was fluttering in the wind, but to Qu Yiheng, it was not just as simple as a line of words.

He didn't tell anyone about the tattoo, and those who knew about it didn't know he had it, it was his secret.

He got up from the bed, put his phone aside, and added a few more strokes to the painting a few minutes later.

Such a work needs a long period of time from the beginning of creation to the completion, and during this process, every stroke that falls is integrated into the soul of the creator.

The teacher said a long time ago that they are not creating with a pen, but with their soul.

But for a long time, Qu Yiheng's soul ran away from home and wandered outside his body. He couldn't create a work that satisfied him, so he gave in, resigned to his fate, and fell into depravity.

He accepts some manuscripts from magazines, the price is cheap, and he creates like fast food. He uses this to make a living, and even puts the focus of his creation on that.

He forgot his original intention of creation, and forgot to tell his teacher that he wanted to be the student he was most proud of when he was in high spirits.

The man he is now is not good enough for the man he was in the past.

He thought of Yao Zhan again, and then of himself as a teenager.

Suddenly, he felt that every step he took was pushing him to another world. Not only did Yao Zhan become another person, but he also became a strange Qu Yiheng.