[HP] Raven

Episode 34

Among the people who knew the existence of "A", apart from Regulus himself, Narcissa might be the only one for a long time.

She first met Alex at Professor Slughorn's Slug Club, very unremarkable girl, skinny like malnourished, she didn't even remember Alex Everly She only vaguely knew that she had an expelled father from an Austrian pure-blood family and a mother who was a Muggle.This kind of story is always regarded as a topic of conversation after dinner at the dinner table, and it ends in a flash, and she doesn't remember much.

What really got her interested in this mixed-race girl was her cousin, Regulus.

Because her cousin has seen too many best people and things since he was a child, he has never been too curious and fond of anything.So as long as there is such a small fluctuation in the heart, Narcissa, who is naturally keen, will immediately catch it.When Regulus was only a child, it was not difficult to see through his thoughts.What's more, the emotions of curiosity and liking are hard to hide even if you want to, and there are always traces to follow.

But Narcissa didn't see Alex as a problem at the time.On the surface, she would always show that she didn't hate Muggles and half-bloods so much, and her lover Lucius had always maintained a hypocritical courtesy to the half-race Severus, even though Severus Snape was just a The first-year kid who has not yet shown his amazing talent in potions has greasy hair all day long.

In her eyes, there is really nothing good about Alex. She comes from a humble background, and she doesn't have an earth-shattering beauty. If she has a bright head, she can't be regarded as an unborn genius, but only some talent. Not worth mentioning.

At that time, Narcissa firmly believed that Regulus just hadn't seen a half-breed, he was just curious, and had a faint liking along the way, but this feeling would disappear soon.After all, they are not from the same world.When Regulus looked at Alex, at most he was looking at a dazzling defective product. After the dazzling light passed, he would always see clear cracks on her body.

Later, around the time Regulus was in third or fourth grade, he began to show an obsession with knowledge and books, which was a good thing, and Narcissa's uncle and aunt were very pleased with it—they all sent their youngest son With high hopes, Regulus never let them down.

Narcissa had long since graduated from Hogwarts, and she was engaged to Lucius, but she still often returned to 12 Grimmauld Place, and her uncle and aunt liked her, and they always made her visit there often.On a summer vacation afternoon, when her uncle and aunt were away, Narcissa woke up from a nap and wanted to walk around, and found Regulus's books on the desk in the study room, with a thing inside.Narcissa didn't want to touch it at first—it belonged to her cousin, and she didn't like to pry into privacy, but when the wind blew, the thin piece of paper floated to the ground, with the back side up, and she roughly touched it. Look, it turned out to be a newspaper cut from what appeared to be a roll of honor, and Regulus wrote a perfectly docile letter, "A", on the back with a dipped quill.She thought it was a grade, after all, A is the last grade in the school's homework grade, but when she picked it up and wanted to help him put it back in the book, she realized it was not.

Here is a photo.

The youthful Alex Avery is wearing a Hogwarts wizard robe, and the medal symbolizing outstanding achievement is pinned next to the Slytherin house emblem. She smiles seriously at the camera. She is a little older than Narcissa's memory Bigger, taller, with a thinner frame, a pair of big clear blue eyes under the regular eyebrows, a thin high nose bridge, thin lips with a petal-like curvature, and the corners of her eyes and mouth are slightly downward Slanted, these details make her appear more melancholy than a child her age.

In Narcissa's eyes, she was indeed more beautiful than when she was a child, but not enough to be called beautiful.It can't be blamed that Narcissa's requirements for appearance are too strict. Except for the beauties of the Greengrass family, all the children of the Black family are also naturally good-looking.

It had been two or three years since she first noticed Alex Everly, and she remembered the name for the first time.But she didn't pay much attention to it. Most of the throbbing and ambiguity in adolescence would disappear as she grew up.Just had to wait, one day her cousin would wake up and turn to the pureblood girls.Although there may not be something that can touch him that much, but there is always something that satisfies him.They are the scion of powerful families, and the ending is always happy.Whoever Alex Everley is will one day be irrelevant.

However, what really made Narcissa realize the seriousness of the problem was the conflict between Regulus and Bella at Malfoy Manor that day, and the two fought to the death.She yelled in her heart that it was not good, but she also knew that it was too late.

She later went to ask Regulus, but it was actually just some old-fashioned topics, and there was not much difference between what she said and what Mrs. Black said.It's nothing more than "Have you really thought about it?" "For her, can you really give up the expectations of your uncle and aunt?" "Is the "always pure" of the Black family a joke in your eyes?" ?”

Regulus didn't answer her question, but asked instead.

"If Lucius was of Muggle blood, would you leave him?"

Narcissa froze.She never thought about it, because Lucius wouldn't be a half-breed, he'd be Malfoy.But if he is... Narcissa knows that she will not leave him, she will help him hide it, help him lie, help him argue with those who question his blood, and even kill him to silence him.The reason is simple, she loves him.They both know that each other is pure blood, but this is not the only reason why they choose each other. Although their love is accepted and blessed by everyone because of their blood, it seems "reasonable and legal", but it has already developed beyond blood.They exclude everything that is bad for them, accept everything that is good for them, trust and protect each other, and live together as husband and wife.

Among the five children of the Black family generation, Regulus and Narcissa are the most similar, ambitious, judging the situation, and are very typical Slytherin in their bones.Although Narcissa and her own sister, Bellatrix, seem to be always in one mind, it has to be admitted that Narcissa and Regulus understand each other best.

So Narcissa knew about Regulus, she understood at that moment that Regulus was seriously in love with Alex.But it should never be, Alex Everly is a well-known half-blood—if Everly is a pure-blood, even if the family is poor, as long as Regulus persists, even if Mrs. Black is not so satisfied , will let go.The harsh facts embarrassed Narcissa, and made her have a hint of sympathy for her cousin.She made the last concession in her heart - Regulus would definitely not be able to marry her in, but they could be lovers.This kind of relationship is not unprecedented in the history of pure-blood families.

Despite this, Narcissa did not show her concerns or concessions in front of Regulus. She still admired pure blood in her heart, and she was arrogant, and she would not let herself show weakness in front of her cousin.So she said indifferently to Regulus, "Anyway, Lucius is a pure blood, don't be dazzled by love," and quickly found an excuse to leave.

However, Narcissa was not alienated from Regulus. In other words, Narcissa had been observing Regulus' behavior as a bystander. She was a little worried, but more of a playful curiosity, wanting to know How far can the cousin of his cousin persist until this tragic and tortuous love story can come to an end.Therefore, when she observed Regulus's pain very subtly, she appeared in the reception room at No. 12 Grimmauld Place in time, and did not ask any questions. She just drank tea quietly and waited for him to speak.

Regulus acted very dull, he was not like this in front of Narcissa.But that day he just stood silently by the window of the reception room on the second floor, silence upon silence.

He couldn't hold on any longer.He saw the distraught Alex a few days ago, and he understood everything, at least he guessed pretty well.She had seen his brother.But his brother rejected her again, just like before.He wanted to hear Narcissa tell him in her usual calm and self-possessed tone that what he was doing was not worth it, or that Alex was not worthy of his love, or that he should find a way to love Dalia Greengrass, but he was too proud I couldn't ask anything, and Narcissa didn't say anything, just kept silent.

The pain and bewilderment of unrequited love was far more difficult than Regulus had expected, and he was afraid that he would be tormented by it until he died.

They were tacitly silent.Narcissa drank the tea in the cup and left.Regulus sent her away and saw Lucius waiting for her at the gate of the manor.

He took a step back and nodded goodbye to them.When he walked back through the dew, he didn't expect that the light in Alex's room was still on. Finally, he couldn't help it, bent his fingers and gently knocked on her door.

"Sorry, wait a minute." Alex opened the door after tidying up. Regulus smelled the white moss, and he guessed that she was just changing the dressing on his wound.In fact, Alex is not good at this. She has been very quiet since she was a child, and the chances of getting injured are very few, and they are all related to Sirius.

Regulus saw her injury at a glance, the blood that just gushed out had soaked the brand new gauze, and blurted out. "Did Sirius hit it?"

Alex froze, lowering his eyes. "Yes."

She never lied to him.The answer in his heart finally came true. After a brief blank flashed in his mind, the most direct emotion for this fact was anger, followed by pain and anxiety.

"How dare he!"

Alex looked at him very calmly and openly. "Why didn't he dare?"

He turned and walked towards the door.

She grabbed him. "What are you going to do?"

He said calmly, "Go and fight him."

"Don't go!"

Alex's reaction took the strength out of Regulus to be angry with her any longer.He tried to tell himself, or rather, told himself again, that he and Alex were not going to be together.

but why?He watched her hastily tidy up the white moss and the extra bandages on the table, feeling uneasy.

--why?

—Because she may love you a little, but she loves Sirius more.

He didn't understand why Sirius was always better off than him, even in love.

But what if there is no love?It's not that he didn't think about having her like a lover, and the idea of ​​having her was so, so offensive to Alex that he sometimes couldn't face the dirty side of himself, but there was a corner of his heart that definitely did I've thought about it more than once - use everything I have, don't care what she thinks, provide her with everything she likes and doesn't like, own her.But in the end, he was honest with himself that that life wasn't for him, and it wasn't for Alex.He wanted Alex, but what he wanted above all was her love, the love that was equal to his own.Love is something higher than sex and possession, and Regulus has only wanted the best since he was a child.

But why she never wanted to look back at him.

Regulus' heart clenched, like a poisonous snake that had been pricked by a needle. "Why don't you let me go? Because you love him? Does he have to kill you to show his righteousness?"

He regretted it as soon as he opened his mouth, feeling extremely embarrassed.But he couldn't help asking because he wanted to know the answer so badly.

"Just because I'm a Death Eater," Alex stared at him without moving, "is enough."

Regulus was silent for a while. "Is the answer to that question you told me last time really that important?"

"It's very important," Alex said, looking away from him, looking at the candles in the room. "At least to me, the answer to it is very important."

"You want to hear my answer," he gave up on himself, and said his thoughts directly for the first time, "Is it because I resemble him?"

This was the first time they had really put Sirius' question on the table.

Alex froze for a moment, as if she hadn't expected him to ask so bluntly, then she sighed softly. "You think so, I thought you always understood that you are very different people."

"Of course he and I are different people."

Alex glanced at him. "So in your heart, will I admit my mistake?"

"No, no, I just..."

He just wasn't confident enough.Regulus knew he couldn't afford to lose.In the emotional game, he is always the one who loses first.What's more, Regulus has already understood that his brother who is reckless and impulsive and acts recklessly - although he doesn't agree with many of his actions, he does have his reasons.He only agrees with Sirius in part, but he can't object to what he feels is right, and he can't hate Alex for making that choice at the time.

Alex put the candlestick lightly on the table and gave him another glance. "You are you, he is him."

"What about you, do you still think about him?" He looked at her blankly.

A candle shadow swayed and shone on Alex's face, forming a layer of dim and warm halo.She shook her head, her eyes fixed on the big fire in front of her eyes. "His candle has burned out."

He breathed harder than usual, hesitated for a long time, and finally struggled to speak out the last straw in his heart. "That question, why are you asking me?"

silence.Great swathes of silence.

After a while, Alex blinked, and the candlelight reflected in her eyes, forming a calm day sea.

"Maybe it's because," she paused, her voice suddenly became very soft and erratic, "I think you are different from others?"

She spoke so fast that he doubted his own ears.He was silent for a while, feeling happy instinctively, but inevitably there was a trace of fleeting regret, he wanted to hear her explanation, what is different about him, isn't he all Death Eaters.But Alex didn't explain, and she was silent.

The sound of the wind was shut out of the window, and the bleak fallen leaves drifted across the window, drawing a meandering shadow. They greeted the turn of autumn and winter in 1979 quietly.

Alex didn't tell Regulus that she met someone she thought she would never see again today, Nina Raymond.Nina tried to knock the wand out of her hand as soon as she saw her, but Alex picked up the wand and swung it hard, blocking it.Nina staggered and fell to the ground. Alex looked at her coldly and didn't help her up, but Nina's scattered things on the ground caught her attention.After a quick glance, she bought a lot of food, not enough daily necessities for one person to use, and even men's shaving foam, which she didn't need at all.

"Do you want to kill me?" Nina got up from the ground.

Alex laughed without a smile. "Shouldn't I be asking you this question?"

"You are a Death Eater, is it wrong to kill you?"

Alex pursed her lips and stopped talking. She was silent for a while and asked. "Have you joined the Order of the Phoenix?"

Nina tremblingly picked up her wand and pointed at her. "Yes... I'm not afraid of you."

Alex turned her back, her tone very flat. "You go."

Nina stood still, as if wondering if this was a cunning trap.

Alex sighed and repeated it patiently. "You go. I don't want to hurt you. But you've attracted other Death Eaters, and there's nothing I can do."

Nina Raymond was actually very afraid of her. There are very few people who are truly fearless in the face of death. Seeing that Alex really didn't move, she quickly disappeared from her sight, and she didn't even care about her purchase. A bunch of things are still lying on the ground, and they have become unowned sundries. It won't be long before beggars and tramps will take care of them.

Alex stood there looking at it for a long time, and she began to wonder if Sirius was with Nina, and whether her clumsy guess at the beginning of puberty had really come true.

She used to think that she would hate Nina and be jealous of Nina, because she had a clean and perfect background, and she had never studied black magic.She wouldn't touch what Sirius hated the most, but Alex would.

But she didn't.

She treated Nina as she would any member of the Order, and was even secretly relieved that she had finally done "the right thing" and was at ease.She seemed to let go of Sirius suddenly, and she also seemed to have finally admitted that she was not Nina, nor could she join the Order of the Phoenix like Nina.But she was still unwilling to admit that she was a Death Eater. Some questions were better dealt with vaguely, and some questions needed a clear answer.

She sighed, and glanced at Regulus who was standing beside her.She never forced him to make a choice, because she knew that the forced choice is not a choice, everyone has the right to choose their own position, she can only wait.

I don't know how long the silence lasted, Regulus asked coldly. "What if I say, you're right?"

He seemed to have finally made up his mind, asking very difficult questions, and the complex emotions in his eyes were as elusive as a lead gray sea.

Alex was stunned, and she lowered her voice in a panic. "Are you planning to betray him?"

Regulus didn't say yes or no, but just said without thinking: "...but I'm scared."

Alex closed her eyes, her throat choked up a little. "I'm scared too."

He stretched out his arms to hug her, Alex hugged him back, patted the back of his shoulder, then Regulus lowered his head, and the two of them touched their foreheads, feeling each other's body temperature and breathing, Alex Kesi felt a drop of warm liquid touch her cheek, and she realized that Regulus was crying, and then she cupped his face in both hands, stood on tiptoe, and kissed his forehead softly.

The faint light from the candles illuminated them, and blurred shadows were cast on the empty wall. Where the candles couldn't reach was an empty darkness, but their bodies were covered with a layer of pale golden net.

The next morning, Alex heard Kreacher knocking on her door, looking devastated, with a very delicate locket around his neck, handing her a letter with trembling hands.

She opened it and was stunned.

"Dear Alex,

I finally understood what the right choice was, and I was ashamed of my ignorance.For this right choice, I will give my everything, including my life.Maybe death is not to be feared, because we will meet again in a world without darkness.At that time, Merlin will testify to the deepest love of my life.

Withallmylove

RAB"

The author has something to say: Regulus was actually ready to sacrifice for the locket before he went to Alex.His mentality is similar to "I am finally not the kind of person you hate, and you can't refuse me at last, because I'm going to die" ←

The plots of the anti-killing and the locket are linked together, and those who share tears are more like lovers than sharing laughter

Ah, I am an angel among devils x