Balancing

"It's really you, and I can still laugh, why did it suddenly hurt like this?" Lu Heng was usually a rough man, and he seemed a little at a loss in the face of the moment.

Jian Ming looked at him, showed a wry smile, and shook his head, "Can I help you?"

"Say it quickly." There was a kind of smile, uglier than crying, just like the one on Jian Ming's face now, Lu Heng felt a little uncomfortable, and couldn't explain why, so he wanted to do something to lighten the weird feeling in his heart.

"Find a nearby pharmacy and buy a box of painkiller atropine..." Before he finished speaking, Lu Heng turned around in a hurry, and was grabbed by him, "And...buy a bottle of water, I'll give you the money." He said and took it out The wallet, the action of withdrawing money is still in progress, when I look up, the person in front of me has disappeared.

In a small moment, Lu Heng ran back with the medicine and water, turned around three times, but did not see Jian Ming. He looked around, looked anxious, and just took out his mobile phone to make a call, but Jian Ming called in first. .

"Who the hell are you? You're in so much pain, why don't you just stay there?" Lu Heng yelled at the phone as soon as he connected.

"...Officer Lu, turn around 20 meters away, the bus station."

He turned around and took a closer look. Jian Ming was sitting on the bench at the station with his waist bent, his head lowered, and the phone in his hand was still close to his ear.

Lu Heng was stunned for a while, then gritted his teeth and ran over, "Eat it quickly." Then he stuffed the medicine and water into Jian Ming's hand, stared at him and took a pill and swallowed it with water.

It was also at the bus station, and it was also sitting on a bench, and it was also waiting for him. The whole picture had been copying and pasting in Lu Heng's mind since he ran to Jian Ming, repeatedly engraving some kind of information. There is always a sudden influx at an undefended time point, for no reason.

Lu Heng suddenly felt chest tightness and brain swelling, even the amber color of his eyes darkened, and his eyes began to become blurred, implying strong sadness and loss...

A few minutes later, Jian Ming's pain seemed to ease a little, and he stood up with a long sigh of relief. "Thank you, Officer Lu."

Lu Heng didn't say a word, just stood on the side in a daze, Jian Ming turned his head to look at him, with a dull expression and empty eyes, which he was very familiar with as a psychiatrist, and he felt uneasy for a while.

He knows that this kind of trance and dissociation of consciousness without warning usually only occurs in three situations, one is psychological fatigue or guilt, and the nervous system self-regulates without realizing it. ; Then there is the perception of a certain event in life, but there is no clear result, which leads to unconscious tracking and searching for answers. The last and most likely to enter the psychological misunderstanding is the impact of emergencies, the self that transcends its own consciousness Responses, instinctive evasion and finding more appropriate coping methods, are like a defense mechanism built for oneself, and these are also called psychological stress responses academically.

My sister's symptoms included the last one, while Lu Heng's situation...is still unclear.Usually, most of the time, except for being explosive and irritable, he is no different from a normal person, but a normal person will adjust himself in a short period of time and make a reasonable response. Lu Heng's state is not right, he is not completely unconscious, but also No response, like... like being stuck in a daydream.

Jian Ming didn't know what happened to Lu Heng in just a few minutes, he only knew that he had to come out of the trance quickly, he approached Lu Heng, put his hand on his shoulder, and called his name "Lu Heng."

Hearing the sound, Lu Heng obviously reacted, and moved his body, but he still didn't respond.Jian Ming shook his shoulders, and just about to call out for the second time, the other party pushed him away and suddenly squatted on the ground, his head buried in his knees, and his shoulders shook irregularly.

It's so strange, he didn't lose consciousness in a daze, and he still had active emotional reflexes.All kinds of contradictory behaviors made Jian Ming want to find out the answer from Lu Heng.

"Lu Heng, come have a meal with me." Jian Ming was sure he could hear. "I have chronic gastritis. If I don't remedy it, I have to take painkillers."

Lu Heng raised his head slowly, he was still squatting, Jian Ming was surprised to find that his cheeks were full of tears, soaking his whole face.Could it be that the shaking just now was... crying?

Seeing strange looks from all around, he pulled Lu Heng up, walked out of the station booth, stopped a taxi without looking back, and stuffed people in. Lu Heng cooperated passively throughout the whole process, and soon obedient.

"Here, wipe it off." Jian Ming handed him a pack of tissues, and then said to the driver in front, "Changfu Road 'Taoyuan' tea restaurant".

"Wipe what?" Lu Heng hadn't fully recovered yet, and just responded passively.

"Touch it yourself." Jian Ming grabbed his hand and pressed it to his own face.

"Damn, what the hell is this?" Now Lu Heng was completely awake.His unbelievable expression obviously told Jian Ming that he didn't know that he had cried.

It turned out that his stress response also included the symptom of unconscious behavior, Jian Ming summed it up silently.

"Lu Heng, it seems we can't wait until tomorrow, let's start today." To cut the beginning and end of the sentence, it is not unusual for Lu Heng to have experience, but the taxi driver was probably shocked, and the rearview mirror stole Looking at the two of them, I must feel sorry for the girls all over the world. Is it popular for handsome guys to produce and sell themselves these days?

Confused, Lu Heng finally realized that his gaffe just now was not just a simple distraction...

For the rest of the journey, the car was very quiet.

The reason why Jian Ming chose the 'Taoyuan' tea restaurant was not only because of his convenience, but also because of its restaurant style. Most restaurants are almost connected with tables and tables, and every adjacent restaurant here Different types of vegetation and flower whiskers are planted in the seats, which are reasonably distributed in the partitions of each seat, respecting the privacy of the guests with great sincerity.

In the innermost part, there is a platform with a higher ground, which is specially designed as a glass room. Purple bamboos are arranged tightly and neatly inside the glass wall, cleverly isolating the outside world. Jian Ming chose this location.

After sitting down, he first ordered a meal, which was very simple, beef with kale, shrimp and egg soup and a bowl of rice.Then he raised his head and asked the silent Lu Heng, "Do you want something to eat?"

He shook his head, listlessly.

Jian Ming didn't say any more, but added another pot of fruit tea before the waiter left.

He took off his suit jacket, put it on the back of the rattan chair, and suddenly asked Lu Heng very seriously, "Do you believe me?"

Hearing this, Lu Heng looked at him, hesitated for a few seconds and sighed softly, "I have no choice, don't I have to believe it?" After speaking, he took out a cigarette and a lighter from his pocket, put one in his mouth, and was about to light it A voice came from the opposite side.

"Smoking is prohibited indoors." Jian Ming lifted his chin towards the warning sign hanging behind the door.

"Fuck" Lu Heng threw the cigarette in his mouth onto the table, and clenched his fists very hard.

It was quiet for a while, and after the waiter finished delivering the meal and left, the room sounded again.

"Let's eat first." Lu Heng felt inexplicably uncomfortable whenever he thought of Jian Ming's stomach ache.

Jian Ming lowered his head and took a sip of the soup, "I'll eat it, you tell me."

"say what?"

"Tell me everything you saw or heard or felt at the station."

As soon as Lu Heng heard it, he knew it was the same old routine again, recalling, telling...he was a little irritable, and instinctively wanted to reject it.Jian Ming didn't hear anything for a long time, and when he looked up, he saw that Lu Heng was sitting there with his eyes closed, his brows tightly frowned, and his hands resting on his forehead.

Many times people’s sense of helplessness comes suddenly, because people are good at disguising and avoiding, but they will eventually pour out. No matter how strong a person’s heart is, when the pressure breaks through the bottom line and is powerless, he still needs to face it. The necessary process of talking and asking for help relieved emotions, but Lu Heng was obviously an exception.

Jian Ming thinks he is very confident in his profession. He really wants to tell Lu Heng that your problem is not as serious as you imagined. As long as you are willing to believe and accept, you are already half the battle.But Lu Heng's problem wasn't his own, it was just that he hadn't taken the first step yet.

He believes that Jiang Luchuan has also been trapped here for the past three years. The man in front of him is extremely defensive. There is an indestructible city wall under the seemingly tough and sunny appearance. Weakness, helplessness and all negative energy are hidden inside the wall. No one is allowed to enter, and whoever walks in or touches it will resist with brutal violence.

Yes, this kind of Lu Heng is very annoying, but Jian Ming feels sorry for him at the moment, how much effort did he use to suppress his weakness and helplessness, so that he shed so many tears unconsciously? self-knowledge.

He looked at Lu Heng and secretly made a decision. It was very impulsive and risky, but... maybe it would work.

"My younger sister suffered from psychological traumatic autism at the age of six, and lived in a meditation nursing home for 15 years." Jian Ming put down his chopsticks, and his voice seemed calm with a little depression.

Lu Heng froze all over, slowly lowered his hands from his forehead, and sat up straight.He was very puzzled why Jian Ming said this to himself for no reason, and even more puzzled about the content of his words.

"Lao Jiang still has a daughter?" Actually, that's not what he wanted to ask, but it seems that this sentence is the most suitable for blurting out, just like he doesn't like others digging his scars, and he himself is not used to digging into other people's past.

Jian Ming was a little surprised how he knew that Jiang Luchuan was his father, but after thinking for a few seconds, he decided to put the question aside, "Well, Mr. Jiang is our adoptive father. It happened 16 years ago." He picked up the teapot and poured it out. Two cups, moved one to Lu Heng, and continued, "Although my sister and I have encountered disasters, we are still very lucky to meet Mr. Jiang and become his child." Jian Ming smiled, speaking calmly The wind is light.

A few simple words shocked Lu Heng enormously. What kind of past did the person in front of him have?Catastrophe?These two words are so heavy, it's like an inescapable destiny.Jian Ming, what exactly have you been through, and why you don't look like you used to, Lu Heng has at least [-] reasons why he wants to be answered.

"Lu Heng, I know there must be a knot in your heart. You can't untie it and you don't want others to help you untie it. I have experienced it, so I understand your feelings. I will tell you my past. I just want you to be clear, no matter how heavy it is. The past is just the past, you don’t have to forget it, but you have to come out.”

This time, Jian Ming saw a touch in Lu Heng's eyes.

"Didn't you ask me what to do today? I can tell you now." Jian Ming took off his glasses and put them on the table, looking at him intently with deep eyes.

Lu Heng's eyes dodged a little, and he lowered his head and took a sip of fruit tea. "Damn, why is it so sweet?" He frowned and licked his lips.

"Now do you want to know or don't you want to? I respect your wishes, and it doesn't affect what I'm going to do." Of course, Jian Ming could see Lu Heng's hesitation, but no matter what Lu Heng said, he still followed His own rhythm guides the conversation, and he doesn't mess up a step.

"I don't want to," Lu Heng replied decisively, staring at Jian Ming with sharp and firm eyes. "You said that just listening to you can make me normal, right?"

"Yes." It was almost a question that was pressed against him, without any uncertainty.

"I believe you."