[Comprehensive British and American] Poor daughter and billions of boyfriends

How to raise a crying baby is a good question.

Qing Qu and Zhou Ge, master and apprentice, faced each other in a daze, at a loss for what to do.

To be reasonable, neither of them has practiced the course "How to take care of a little baby who knows nothing but biological instincts", okay?

Qing Qu is not young at all, but he has lived for 68 years, of which 67 years have been spent on cultivation, and he has just accepted an apprentice who is related to inheritance.He has heard of such a creature as a baby, but he has never held it, let alone cared for it!

Not to mention Zhou Ge, who is only ten years old. To say that he knows nothing about taking care of babies is flattering him.Master Zhou has spent the past ten years being taken care of, okay?He is familiar with being served by others, but serving people... Master Zhou sneered, saying that he was completely out of the scope of his life dictionary!

Then, Master Zhou, who was sneering, was slapped in the face.

Although this one is only a few months old, his seniority is a generation higher than his. It is his little uncle's baby, and he pissed!

Urine!up!

Wet the swaddle!

While coaxing the child at a loss, his master gave him the bird's wet swaddle without the master's love!

let him wash it!Dry!net!

Swaddle!

Swaddled wet with piss!

Master Zhou's face turned green into a prairie.

Don't ask him why in this age, his master doesn't even use diapers for babies!

He wants to know more than anyone!

Thankfully, although their mountain is considered a place outside the world, the Special Affairs Bureau is a conscientious department after all, and they have not forgotten about water, electricity, and internet. All kinds of electrical appliances necessary for modern life have also been sent to the mountain.

For example, washing machine :).

If you don't have a washing machine...

Master Zhou thought about the consequences of not having a washing machine with a green face... No no no!He just asked people to buy a container of swaddling clothes and send them up the mountain, and ensured that the baby would use one set and throw the other, but he would spoil it at will, and he never washed the swaddling clothes by hand! ! !

If Zhou Ge had to make an evaluation, taking care of babies, which can be called anti-humanity, should be left to professionals to do well!

However, there are no professionals on the mountain.

And they have no way to ask professionals to go up the mountain.After all, this mountain hidden in the enchantment is the lair of their master, and it can be called a place where unscientific events are gathered. If an ordinary person is really found to come up to take care of the baby, I am afraid that the Special Affairs Bureau will find him within three days. Come to the door, drink tea and chat with Qing Qu.

As for sending the baby down the mountain, asking someone to take care of it for the time being, and bringing it back when he is a little older and more sensible, this operation was also rejected by Qing Qu.

"Cultivation starts at an early age, starting from a baby, the sooner the better! The innate qi brought out by the baby from the womb may not be completely lost. The clean qi in the body is greater than the turbid qi, and the spiritual platform is also clear and clean. When you get twice the result with half the effort, how can you send it down the mountain to be contaminated with the air of mortals!"

Zhou Ge: "..."

The master said so much that he didn't know where to start!

Cultivation started from a doll?Can the baby understand the cultivation method, or can he lift a sword?Are you sorry for saying this?

Also, what the hell is Lingtai Qingming?If he remembers correctly, Lingtai should be a Buddhist theory, but master, you are practicing Taoism, right?

In the end, what the hell is the air of the world of mortals?If it's really like what you said, wouldn't I be a disgrace to my teacher, the first disciple who has been in the world of mortals for ten years?

***

Although they have never done anything like take care of babies, the master and apprentice have passed the IQ test anyway. After asking relatives and friends for advice, and asking the Bureau of Special Affairs to help purchase a batch of books for infants and young children, the two stumbled gradually. Get started and take care of the children.

Raising children, cultivating, although the life on the mountain is no longer pure, but in the words of Zhou Ge and Qing Qu's self-consolation, it is——

"It's very popular! It's very lively, very good!"

Under the influence of several years, two men, Qing Qu and Zhou Ge, one old and one young, managed to learn how to take care of the little girl, and unexpectedly encountered another problem——

Seven year olds, it's time for school!

Regarding this issue, the Special Affairs Bureau also specially sent people up the mountain to emphasize it to them by ear to ear.

"Children must receive nine years of compulsory education!"

"You teach? You can teach ancient Chinese, can you also teach mathematics, science and chemistry?"

"The child has been living alone on the mountain with you for more than six years. Even if she goes down the mountain occasionally, she will not meet normal people! If you don't let her have contact with her peers and learn about collective life, I'm afraid she will grow crooked!"

It was the last sentence that moved Zhou Ge and Qing Qu in the end.

The child is going to grow crooked?

That absolutely must not work!

Give away!Definitely send her to school!

Zhou Ge at this time, not only didn't realize it, but unconsciously in his heart, the little uncle has changed from a annoying little baby to my little uncle who is the best child in the world!

Not only didn't find it, but even enjoyed it.

However, a new problem has arisen.

Where do you send your kids to school?

There are no schools on the mountain.

The Special Affairs Bureau even verbally rejected the whimsical request of the master and apprentice to send teachers up the mountain to build a primary school for their children.

Then there is only one option left - sending the children down the mountain to school.

But if the child was to go up and down the mountain every day, neither Zhou Ge nor Qing Qu would be willing to make her work so hard.

So, Zhou Ge used money to solve this problem.

He chose the best elementary school near the mountain, and bought a small villa near the school as a temporary residence during school, living next to the school from Monday to Friday, and returning to the mountain on weekends.He also used money to clear the way, and directly stuffed the little uncle into the admission list of that year...

Zhou Ge suddenly discovered a serious problem!

So what, it seems that the little uncle has never had an official name? ? ? !

In this way... the little uncle will not always be a black household, right? ? ? !

"No." Qing Qu patiently explained this problem to his senior apprentice, and generally speaking, his patience would only be used on the little junior sisters.

"Your little uncle is registered with the Special Affairs Bureau, but the life column is temporarily blank."

Zhou Ge: "Why?"

Why don't you name the little uncle?The two of them, master and apprentice, have been called junior sisters and uncles for almost seven years. Thinking about it now, they are so stupid!

Qing Qu glanced at his apprentice inexplicably, not understanding why he would ask such a silly question.

"The name of a practitioner must have a source. For example, your name comes from your parents, my Taoist name comes from my master, and your little uncle is my apprentice on behalf of my teacher, so her name has to be obtained through God. The ancestor gave it. But these days, if you ask God without any legitimate reason, you can't get a response.

This time is just right, because your little uncle needs a name to go to school, I don't believe I can't get it! "

"..."

Zhou Ge really knows a lot.

As for the inexplicable look in the master's eyes, he didn't even want to know what it meant!

Please ask God to name the little uncle first, before it's too late.

After preparing some sacrifices, Qing Qu began to invite the gods into a trance.

Anyway, I would like to ask the ancestors of the Shimen, as long as the preparation of the sacrifices is as good as they thought, it is not necessary to strictly follow the rules of inviting gods to sacrifice, anyway, the ancestors would not care about the younger generations, would they?

Sure enough, as Qing Qu himself said, it is formal to go to school to be named, and it is impossible not to invite ancestors.

Not long after entering the samadhi, Qing Qu opened his eyes, picked up the pen and paper that he was going to put aside.Write down a name - Wei Dannan.

Wei, from the surname of the master Zhou Ge had never met.

However, the 16-year-old Zhou Ge keenly discovered a problem.

In the result of asking God to ask the ancestors, the little uncle only has a name, but no dao name!