[Comprehensive] Idol reboot

Lu Jianxing has been a rather strange child since he was a child.

I heard what the grandmother meant, because from the time she was in the womb, her mother was troubled by her existence. ——The idea that unexpected children are not surprises but troubles has become commonplace in big cities with the development of society in recent years.The mother who has always been single and working hard is already busy enough and does not need any more pressure, so she was sent back to her hometown to be taken care of by her parents when she was almost born.So when she was a child, she hardly saw her mother.What I saw more was the way other children were picked up by their mothers after they were tired from playing.

The grandparents, on the other hand, are not the "grandchild-loving" type as is often the case in stories.They also have their own jobs in their hometown; their grandfather is the statistics executive in the town, and they prefer to find work everywhere with their old friends.Grandma never goes out all day long, but she only burns incense and worships gods in the small shrine in the yard, thinking of her excellent son who died young due to an accident.The word Lu Jianxing heard the most when she was a child was "your uncle", so she used to like to talk about "how is my uncle" with others, talking nonsense, but the neighbor smiled helplessly and took her home and told her grandmother.I made my grandma fly into a rage, and I don't want to talk to her anymore. Except for three meals, I let her go out to play, and stay in the study when I don't play. In short, just don't go out and say something she can't listen to.

So Lu Jianxing, who was locked up at home with nothing to do, became very fond of reading books - she didn't like going to school, and she didn't like playing with those children who seemed silly and dull to her. Stuff is the funniest.After reading a lot, she began to send letters and submit manuscripts indiscriminately like those in magazines and books. ——The teacher at school once said that she was the smartest child he had ever seen, but Lu Jianxing didn't care about being smart, and she didn't even care about the care and praise of people around her, including her family.Instead, I only care about the things I perceive; the warmth and love flowing from the words and the heart, the wonderful adventures, the horrible strange stories, all kinds of incredible...

It wasn't until her grandfather discovered that she had stolen the postage stamps from home, because it was very valuable but was mailed out after being collected by him for many years, and she was severely beaten by him.The manuscript written in pencil was also completely burned by the fire. ——Compared to the previous beatings, this time it hurts much more.

The day she finally came out after lying in bed for more than a month was a gloomy afternoon, the orange sunset was slowly setting, and the humming of cicadas was deafening. She thought she might still have tinnitus, so she went to the yard to fetch water drink.

Then she saw the grandmother coming out of the small shrine.

Grandma was taller than she was, and she stood before her like a circus puppet with huge limbs and joints that had been tattered from years of repair.The grandmother with drooping eyelids was quiet, but what she said still shocked her.

She said: "It's finally all right? This is the result of being naughty. Be careful in the future."

……

——At that moment, Lu Jianxing suddenly realized that she was living here just like the book written by Kundera—in fact, she was living elsewhere.She nodded and smiled obediently at her grandmother; after drinking the water, she went back to her room.

Standing in that dark, small and sinful Japanese room, she felt that from that moment on, freedom already belonged to her.

So without hesitation, she disposed of her photos, notes, and school materials... all like the manuscripts that had been burned by fire before, and she was very satisfied with the pleasure of being burned.On the second day, she secretly hid in the haystack of the oxcart going to the city from the countryside, and ran away quietly like those people written in the books.

This should not be regarded as running away from home; Lu Jianxing thought so at the time: I don't need me here, and I don't need here even more.But since I exist in this world, there is naturally a place for me.Because she is small and smart, she didn't go very well, but compared to the protagonists in those stories, she arrived at a new place smoothly.

This is a new beginning.She was very excited to see the busy world; she finally took risks in the city like a real child, and even got on a long-distance train heading for the distance by pretending to be stupid. ran where they could not be found.

She thought: I want to go farther, farther - to a place where the whole world can't find me, like Peter Panry's Neverland, where I will live forever and do all the things I want to do .

…………

If the previous development was like a fairy tale, the next development may be a bit unsatisfactory; first of all: she was hungry; half of the money on her body was spent and half was cheated, so she needed something to eat.Secondly, when she arrived in a new city, she had nowhere to live again.A series of developments really made Lu Jianxing a little dejected at the time, wandering the streets and alleys with an empty mind, and she found that she had become a "stranger who is not welcome in the city" again. ——It wasn't until she met a woman who was more dejected than her that she felt a little like "meeting an old friend in a foreign country".

That woman was in a trance, and in Lu Jianxing's opinion at the time, she might have suffered from what her grandmother called "crazy" like those weird people nearby.But thanks to her good looks, the two of them had a hot meal anyway.Lu Jianxing thought that there are many children who are so stupid and easy to deceive, but not many adults, so he cleverly followed her.They drifted like this for a period of time, ignorant of even the most basic common sense around them; their lives deserved to be a mess.It wasn't until she had suffered a lot that the woman's sanity gradually came to her senses.

At first, Lu Jianxing always thought her name was "Lotus", because she couldn't understand a word of her muttering; she could only understand a few familiar words from a few words.But she thinks the lotus is a bit tacky, because her voice is so nice.

So while the woman wasn't paying attention, she changed her new name: Xing.

——It’s not bad, isn’t it?Because at that time, she liked those distant and untouchable stars the most.

.........

Unfortunately, after the woman woke up, she introduced herself as Leila.

Lu Jianxing thought this sounded nice, so he changed Xing into his own name.

Being with Layla, although she had to endure her nerves from time to time, was enjoyable most of the time; so much so that even her voice, which had always been hoarse, gradually learned to sing.

After Leila was found by friends, they got better.

That was the first time Shikami Xing came into contact with the term "idol". They told her that Leila was a big star and a singer in a very famous band-and played her many songs for her.Lu Jianxing was not sure if this was a way for them to coax their children (because they would often be coaxed when they were children), so she explained it in a daze, although her understanding of these things at the time was poor.

After all, apart from books, she hasn't been exposed to too many novel things.

They treated her very well, fed and clothed her, and at first wanted to send her home, but after she ran away, they got nervous and took care of her as if they had an extra child.

However, living with those people is not the same as Leila herself.

She didn't like that kind of life: going to school day after day, being a well-disciplined child. ——This is no different from her before!That way you can't do whatever you want, can you?

So she said goodbye to Leila and started looking for what she wanted again.

At that time, she was already 11 years old. With a passport and a passport, she changed from a member of the marginalized to a normal human being who was beginning to be recognized by society.It's a pity that because she is too young, the part-time job site is unwilling to take her in, and wants to send her home again and again.At that time, Lu Jianxing thought, sure enough, the world of adults is still very cruel.Otherwise, why keep sending her to "home", she obviously doesn't want to go home.

However, she is still sending harassing manuscripts to various magazines, and if she is rejected, she will continue, and she doesn't care if she is replaced. ——After all, seeing her own story become a printed existence is one of her greatest joys.

It was from that time that she slowly realized what she really wanted.One after another, I drew material from the "I'm alive" incident, and of course occasionally had the mentality of "forget it if I die?", but in the end I survived successfully.I met a lot of strange people and things, some were pretty good, some were so-so.That feeling of self-imposed exile... It's not that bad to be honest, as long as it doesn't get noticed.

——Lu Jianxing hates those eyes: the cold stare of grandmother, the frowning of others, the affectionate eyes of Leila's friends, and the unconscious sympathy from the contempt of peers.

Among them, what she dislikes the most are some serious-looking adults who think they are saving the world with love, but they have their own real faces.The more she got in touch, the more unbearable that look became for her.Until one day someone told her that she is still old enough to go to an orphanage, and they can be responsible.Those people's expressions were full of arrogance and pride in doing good to themselves, but the expression of "I'm for your own good" made Lu Jianxing hate it very much, and it was this sentence that she hated the most in her life. ——Including Leila, who always felt that she was young, so they never figured out one thing: it was she who abandoned what she didn't need, not the other way around.

——This was what Shikami Hoshi used to think at the time.From an early age, she learned to enjoy solitude rather than be bound by it.This is not the so-called "Second Childhood Disease" popular in society, but an uncommon personality tendency in adolescence.In professional terms, it is probably the so-called "locked-in psychology".

After growing up, Lu Jianxing, of course, gradually learned to correct them; but from the heart, this is just a compromise with social reality.Since she has never cared about the meaning of those so-called "entering the world" since she was young; to her today, it is nothing more than a reference for inspiration, a source of material, nothing more.

——These are just a small, little-known and innocuous secret about Lu Jianxing.