[Comprehensive] How to pretend to be a victim?

"Shuyao! You must help me!"

Chen Shuyao scratched her hair: "Then you have to talk about something first..."

Before the words finished, Watson squeezed past Sherlock, stuffed the child into her arms, turned around and ran out from Sherlock again.By the time she realized it, Watson had already gone downstairs.Only one sentence was left far away: "Come back and bring you a gift."

The doll in her arms raised her head and blinked her big eyes at Chen Shuyao, who looked at Sherlock in a daze: "Tell me, you know what's going on."

"To put it simply, Watson went on a date with his sister. No one is looking after him. He needs a nanny." Sherlock walked over, frowned, twisted his sleeves with his thumb and forefinger, snatched his water gun, and threw it away. to the couch.

The doll looked at Sherlock, and then at the water gun thrown on the sofa, her mouth was deflated, and her eye circles were red.

"Sherlock, hurry up and get the water gun!" Chen Shuyao hurriedly patted his back and coaxed, "Go!"

"This is a very unreasonable behavior. He sprayed me with a water | gun first, and my hair is still wet." Sherlock pointed at his hair, "I did this to prevent him from continuing to do evil... ..."

Before he finished speaking, he heard the doll cry "Wow", and the teardrops fell down with a thunderbolt.

"Oh, my dear, don't cry, my dear." Chen Shuyao bit her lower lip and bumped Sherlock, who blocked her ears, and pointed her chin at the sofa, "Go!"

"My God, why do people create such terrible monsters?" Sherlock lamented, and in the end he obediently took the water | gun back and sent it to the little | evil |

Sure enough, as soon as the water | gun was in hand, the doll lowered its eyes and fiddled with it. The teardrops were still hanging from the eyelashes, and it stopped crying immediately.

Sherlock pointed at him with a serious face: "Little boy, listen to me, this is my house, you have to abide by the rules when you come here, otherwise I won't pamper you like your brother Watson, see That window, fell from there, with the hardness of your bones, it must be..."

The doll suddenly aimed the water | gun at Sherlock, sprayed him twice, and dubbed: "Fa? Da!"

The latter impatiently sipped the water from his face: "It's useless to call me dad! I don't have such a nonsense, low IQ, ugly, and playful son like you! I'll call Mrs. Hudson now, Let her control you!"

Then he took out his phone from his pocket.

Chen Shuyao couldn't help laughing and coughing dryly: "He seems to be just making random noises, and he didn't mean to call you dad."

"...In short, the crimes he committed | are unforgivable!"

"Don't you rise to the level of crime, will you? He's only a few months old..."

"Then you are totally wrong. Several scientific studies have shown that the bad habits of many criminals have been accumulated since childhood. Because there is no reasonable correction, it will lead to catastrophe in the future." Sherlock dialed the phone number, Put the mobile phone to your ear, "Hey, Mrs. Hudson, where are you? Oh yes, someone is looking for you, it seems to be in a hurry..."

Chen Shuyao looked at the pacing and lying man, rolled her eyes silently, went to Sherlock's sofa and sat down, wrapped one arm around the doll's waist, and lightly scratched his little nose with the other hand.

"Baby, you can't learn from this uncle, you know?"

"Ang, mom, scold!" The doll looked around, loosened her fingers, and the water gun fell|fall|to the ground, Chen Shuyao thought he was going to cry again, but he looked around, and his eyes fell on her chest.

Why have a bad feeling?

Just as he was thinking, he saw his two small hands covering her chest, stretching his neck and sucking her up.The point is, it actually sucked!What is this magical give function?

Chen Shuyao was still in a dazed state, and the villain in her arms was picked up by Sherlock lazily and thrown onto Watson's chair.

Sherlock blushed with anger, and pointed at his nose: "I solemnly warn you now, your behavior just now constitutes obscenity|obscenity! If you don't repent again, I will call 999 and ask Lestrade to bring the special police to arrest you!" you!"

The doll stared straight at Sherlock with a pair of big eyes. Although she didn't cry or fuss, she obviously didn't understand what he meant.As soon as Sherlock finished speaking, he held the armrest with both hands, stretched out his hand above the fireplace, and leaned forward slightly.

Sherlock held his two little hands and pressed him back: "I'm talking to you, didn't your parents teach you basic etiquette?"

Chen Shuyao couldn't stand it any longer: "Sherlock, he can't speak yet, isn't it a bit high for you to ask him?"

She was a little concerned that when they had a baby, Sherlock would be driven insane by the little monster he was talking about.

"So I said the basics." Sherlock explained solemnly.

Then I saw the doll stretching out her hand towards the fireplace again, spitting bubbles anxiously: "That! That!"

Chen Shuyao pulled the tissue and was about to wipe the drool from the corner of the doll's mouth when she was stopped by Sherlock: "He is not sensible, and you are going to give him a chance? Leave him alone and let him reflect on himself."

"...His thoughts are not as nasty as you think, maybe he's just hungry." Seeing that he didn't have any intention of backing down, Chen Shuyao had to stuff him with a tissue, "Then you go and wipe his drool."

Sherlock looked unhappy: "Why should I wipe him with saliva amylase?"

"Because you are more than thirty years older than him! Go!" Chen Shuyao pushed Sherlock.The latter frowned and moved closer, patted the tissue in his hand on the doll's mouth, licked it, and threw it into the trash can.

Chen Shuyao saw that the baby kept pushing towards the fireplace, so she couldn't help but also look in that direction: "Sherlock, what do you think he wants?"

She really didn't think Sherlock would have anything that would attract a child's attention.

Sherlock also looked at the words, looked at the doll in disbelief, walked to the fireplace a few steps, and picked up Mr. Skull.Looking at him, he lowered Mr. Skull, and sure enough, the doll's eyes moved with Mr. Skull.

Chen Shuyao hurriedly stopped Sherlock: "Sherlock, I think you'd better not give it to him, there might be a lot of bacteria on this thing..."

"Oh, you underestimate me, how could I give him my friend to play with?" Sherlock said, and put Mr. Skull back.

"..."

The little devil is not easy to provoke, after being teased by Sherlock, he kept crying.Not for water guns, not for stuffed pigs, not even!Chen Shuyao carried Sherlock on her back, even if she showed her chest to him!

Chen Shuyao also lost her temper because of his crying.After searching online, I thought he had peed his pants.As a result, the diaper was opened and it was clean again.

"Is that hungry?"

Watson did the same. He threw the child to them without saying anything, and he didn't bring a single daily necessities.Does she still want to buy a set of baby products now?But the question is, if she goes shopping, will Sherlock turn around and throw him away?

Thinking of this, she frowned and looked at someone who was squatting in front of the sofa, with two big lumps of tissue paper stuffed in both ears, who was still arguing with the doll.

"How soon will Mrs. Hudson be back?"

Sherlock turned his head to look at Chen Shuyao: "She said one hour, but it usually takes about two hours. She is a person with a bad sense of time."

God, this was a disaster.But, you have to go shopping, how can you let such a big child go hungry?

"I'm going to buy something now, and I'll be back in half an hour. You, don't make trouble with him, don't retaliate in any form, and don't throw him out of the window, do you hear me?" Chen Shuyao took off the Sherlock plug Ear paper, pointing to his nose, as if educating another child.

Sherlock frowned slightly: "So are you going to leave me and the monster behind?"

"No! I'm going to buy milk powder for him. Do you want to hear him cry until he grows old?"

When Sherlock heard this, his attitude immediately turned 180 degrees: "Hurry up and come back, I will take a good look at him."

"……gone."

As a result, when Chen Shuyao rushed back, she saw Sherlock sitting in the living room, looking at the computer very engrossed.Where is the shadow of the doll in the house?

Chen Shuyao put a lot of bought things on the coffee table, and looked around: "Where is the child?"

Sherlock pointed to the bedroom nonchalantly: "He's sleeping."

"Really?" Chen Shuyao hurriedly ran to the bedroom and opened the door, only to see the doll stuck to the bed in horizontal and vertical stripes with yellow tape, holding Mr. Skull covered with three or four layers of safety bags in her hands. Chewing happily.

To untie the bell, the bell bone must be tied. In the final analysis, Mr. Sherlock's skull is to blame.Okay, although this kind of toy looks a little scary, but at least people don't cry anymore.It's a pity that she ran so far to buy milk powder, feeding bottles and diapers for him, which seemed to be of little use.

The fact is that she is still too naive, coaxing children is not a problem that Mr. Skull can solve.An hour of Mrs. Hudson's time can basically be counted as a day.

When she stayed up until eight o'clock at night, Chen Shuyao was already half dead.

Sherlock glanced at the clock: "In the past fourteen hours and 36 minutes, he has cried 8 times, each time ranging from 3 minutes to 10 minutes. He drank milk three times, urinated four times, and defecated twice. Second-rate."

"Don't count the data there! Stand for me for a while, I'm almost exhausted." Chen Shuyao directly stuffed the doll into Sherlock's arms, then dragged her shoes and walked towards the bathroom.

Sherlock frowned and looked at her: "Shuyao, why are you going?"

Chen Shuyao didn't even turn her head when she heard the words: "I'm going to take a bath and go to sleep, you call Watson now, and give him half an hour to come back and pick up the child, otherwise we'll throw him out the window."

So under Sherlock's coercion|coercion|lure|lure, half an hour later, Chen Shuyao finally returned to the peaceful paradise after taking a shower.She was almost lying on the bed, not wanting to move.

Half asleep and half awake, she felt someone's restless hand approaching her.

"My bones are about to fall apart now, don't touch me! Otherwise, I'll throw you out of the window too!"

The author has something to say: I'm really out of my mind, oh my god!The manuscript was lying on the computer, I thought I put it on [cover face] What should I do? ?Fortunately, I read the comments before going to bed, thank you baby 666, for saving me from being passively interrupted [cover my face]