deserved

The sun was just right when I woke up.

Anger and disappointment have become a long time ago, only the sense of powerless suffocation lingers around me, like a person surfacing from deep water, I escaped from my bed in despair and threw myself on the cold floor, regardless The pain in his knee was so painful that he only wanted to get the mobile phone on the bedside table.

I was terrified, unlocked it with trembling hands, opened the address book, and pressed the name of "A Xiaohuai".

There was a brief silence as long as a century, and then Qin Huai's indifferent and formulaic voice sounded: "Hello, this is Qin Huai, if you can't get through, please transfer to voicemail."

"Qin Huai." I said with trembling mouth, "Where are you?"

"Hello……"

"I'm so scared."

"Hello……"

I shut up, and then the voice turned around, the annoying loop in my ear disappeared, and a silent person answered the phone, I put the voice up very loudly, close to my ear, and the sound of breathing was clearly audible.

Reality and dreams split me in two. On the one hand, I am eager to get close to Qin Huai, to hear his voice, to be embraced by him, to be kissed by him, to let him show his sense of existence with domineering means; Deceit to me makes me want to tear him to pieces and break his legs: he is so over the top, selfish, full of self righteous superiority, only cares about his own feelings, and doesn't know what his heart is Not made of iron and stone.

We were silent with each other, the impact of the nightmare eased a little, but the aging me and the painful Qin Huai lingered in my mind.

Finally, it was Qin Huai who broke the silence first: "I'm in a meeting."

"That's bothering you." I said sullenly, but my body greedily absorbed his voice, only my heart was loyal to me.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"At home." I replied.

Qin Huai forced a smile and said, "Did you just get up, why are you so obedient today?"

"I'm not good." I said displeased, "Why do you work every day?"

"Of course," Qin Huai said, "otherwise, what will I do to support you?"

"It's true that you should work hard. From now on, you'll be a family man."

"Indeed." Qin Huai's voice sounded a bit strange, as if he had a bad cold, "Ah Lin, we will be together for a long time in the future, I have to say that what happened yesterday made me very angry. I hope you can apologize and stop being willful , and promise not to do so again.”

Oh, he is angry.I'm also very angry, what did I do wrong, do I care about Qin Huai so despicably?

"I'm really sorry." I said sourly, "I almost interrupted your wedding feast. I must prepare a congratulatory gift some other day. When you give birth to a child, I will definitely prepare more money for you and 'Linlin'. The 'love' you have given me for so many years will be fully returned to you."

"Ah Lin!" Qin Huai said seriously, "What are you imagining jealousy for? I said yesterday that she and I are just a cooperative relationship, and we have no other relationship. I love you."

I:"……"

Qin Huai continued: "Why can't you trust me more?"

"Is it the kind of cooperation to give birth to a child? That's a really good idea. A healthy little Qin Huai will never be as stupid as me."

"No." Qin Huai choked speechlessly.

I ignored his denial and continued: "In the future, you will have many, many children, young, beautiful, lively, and more beautiful lovers, more 'Xiao Lin'. I will become a dispensable old favorite , a good-for-nothing ugly guy, when the time comes, can you still say 'love me', and still feel guilty, feel sorry for me twice... pity that useless thing..."

"Jiang Lin!" Qin Huai said angrily, "What evil did you run into today?"

"No."

"Lie." Qin Huai said angrily, "Truly, did Ji Jinglin tell you something?"

"No."

"Jiang Lin!"

I grabbed Qingzi's knee, "It's you. I had a dream, Qin Huai. I dreamed that I was dead. My life was miserable. When I died, it was so painful and hopeless. You were right in front of me. You have always been in my heart." Far away, but you refuse to come to save me, you are so cruel, I am so old, but I still can’t get a happy ending, isn’t it funny?”

"Jiang Lin!" Qin Huai said in a panic, his voice resounded in my ears, and there was an aftertaste of anger: "Dreams are all fake, how could I abandon you, you are still here, young, fresh and beautiful, so angry I can't stop, do you miss me?

"But you are getting married." I said cruelly, "I can't miss you, let me go..."

"Okay." Qin Huai said, "I'm going to get married, let me give up Jiang Lin as my boyfriend, marry him as my bride, and let him accompany me every day."

I wondered: "What are you talking about..."

"Jiang Lin, don't think about it, I'll go back right away, don't get close to the window... Be obedient and go back to bed."

"Yeah." I returned to my cage, sniffing Qin Huai's breath, it was almost gone.

"Jiang Lin?" Qin Huai called my name, he would only call my name when he was angry. "Listen to me, don't hang up the phone, listen to my arrangement."

"But……"

Qin Huai's voice became dangerous: "What did you say?"

"Nothing." I said softly.

"Then wait for me to come back."

"Ah."

"Don't do stupid things."

"it is good……"

Then I hung up the phone.