2084

When Ms. He accompanied Ling Yan to see a psychotherapist, she once heard such a saying that there are some people in this world who can intuitively know how to help trauma survivors. A simple and safe social participation system can be re-established for the injured, but she has heard it all the same, saying that all people are the same when their anger is out of control, and any angel can become a lufaxi, become threatening, aggressive, And then vilify those trauma survivors with greater intensity and intensity.

Miss He was upset downstairs that day.

Whether it's Ling Yan's own team or Boqi's staff, these people have been carefully screened and their mouths are very strict. They know what they can say and what they can't say, but the maintenance personnel are different, so she can only talk one by one. , signing, sealing the money, and after sending everyone away, she had time to breathe and ran upstairs in a hurry.

It was about to scare her that day too.

She opened the door without knocking a few times, and Qi Siming came out with a gloomy expression. Ms. He subconsciously took a step back, and saw that Qi Siming's head seemed to have been smashed by Ling Yan, and the blood continued to flow down his cheeks horribly. The forehead dripped down.

At that time, her heart was cold, thinking how much conflict these two people had.

Qi Siming glanced at her indifferently, blood flowed into his eyes, he raised his arm and rubbed it carelessly, then left without saying a word.

At that time, she still had a little bit of luck in her heart. She thought that if there was a fight, Ling Yan would beat Qi Siming as well. She was frightened and prayed wishfully, that Qi Siming would never do anything to Ling Yan.Yes, it's her biased mind, she doesn't help relatives, she thinks that Ling Yan is wrong, even if he is sorry for Qi Siming, but others don't know, she knows Ling Yan's mental state and physical state, if he hits him, Isn't that killing him?

Probably this kind of desire is too shameless, no god from top to bottom can understand it.

So when Ms. He entered the room, she saw Ling Yan's whole body convulsed, holding the washstand and kneeling on the ground.At that time, he couldn't stand up anymore, and the whole bathroom looked like a murder scene. His pale back was covered with blood, and a small pool of blood was even submerged under his feet.

Qi Siming has hit hard.

This familiar scene made Ms. He's hands and feet cold. She gasped, and with a bang, her feet went limp, and she almost fell to the ground.

Fortunately, this time, Ling Yan was conscious. He turned his head tremblingly, and opened his mouth weakly.

He said to her, "Help me get the medicine."

Miss He really cried that day.

While adjusting the medical robot to help Ling Yan treat the wound, she flipped through the storage compartments in the bathroom, blaming Ling Yan for hiding medicines so hideously. She was crying while her hands were trembling, feeling to identify the vials. The name can drive her crazy.

"Don't cry, what are you crying for?"

Ling Yan tried his best to adjust his breathing, forced to calm his overactive heart, and said softly to Miss He, "I can't die again."

Ms. He's make-up was all over, and regardless of her image or not, she yelled at him full of grievances, "He must have intentionally hurt him, why is he such a bastard! Let's call the police, I'll find a lawyer, and we'll let him spend his time in prison." !"

Ling Yan was amused by her, gritted his teeth and said, "What stupid things are you talking about?"

Later, Ms. He contacted Ling Yan's psychotherapist, because she was afraid that Ling Yan would lose control after taking the medicine, and even asked them to secretly bring a tranquilizer and a restraint belt.Seeing the doctor coming with all kinds of professional equipment to examine him, Ling Yan gave them a cold look and said that he was fine, just a little tired, could he just lie on his stomach and do some biochemical tests, he thought Rest.

After taking the medicine, Ling Yan was always a little numb, but Ms. He was worried that he would be left alone, and asked him if it was okay if he didn't close the door, Ling Yan said it was free.

After a while, the doctor left his bedroom without a sound. Ling Yan was lying on the bed with his back naked, his face buried in the pillow, and in the silence where he could hear the needle dropping, he could hear the whispers of the doctor's discussion in the next room. , He could hear the clicking sound of the household robot cleaning the bathroom, he could feel the burning pain in his back, and then he fell asleep in a daze amidst the chaotic noise and pain.

Ling Yan's sleep is always rare when he is working, three or four hours is enough for him to last a day.

But this time, he slept for twenty hours at a stretch.

He woke up three times in the middle of the night, one time to drink water and two times to vomit.

The next day, when he woke up, Boqi was actually there, sitting beside his bed.He was a little nervous for no reason, and asked himself what was wrong and how long he had slept. Ms. He's eyes were red and her face was a little haggard, but she still smiled and told him that she hadn't slept for long, and that it was a good thing to be able to fall asleep, indicating that the body was starting to protect itself.

What she didn't say was that Ling Yan had been convulsed and sweating in his dreams for the past 20 hours. In the middle of the night, his blood pressure suddenly soared, his heart beat too fast, and his body trembled so badly that the doctor couldn't control it.Ms. He was really scared and had no choice but to call Boqi here in the middle of the night. If it weren't for the inseparable people here, she would really have the heart to chop Qi Siming with a knife.

Everyone knew that as long as there were outsiders around, Ling Yan would try his best to control himself.But after a severe trauma, the emotions may be controlled, but the body cannot be controlled.It will break through all disguises before consciousness, and make the most painful and most real response.

During the dangerous period of the previous two days, Ms. He kept thinking, yes, good luck and bad luck, why did Ling Yan fall in love with Qi Siming? Can't stand the crash.

Miss He stood by his bed, gently stroking Ling Yan's smooth and delicate wrists, lightly stroking those slightly bulges that have been repaired and plasticized, and you can't find them without looking carefully. Looking at his face, I feel that my heart It's about to break.

She always remembered that nine years ago, when she was a sophomore in college, she had been shamelessly pestering him in the service center because of the school's volunteer activities. At that time, Ling Yan was only 16 years old. When he took off her, he wrote to her, saying that he had a strong negative mental disorder, and told her to stay away, otherwise it would be affected.

No one would say that about themselves.

Hola had never seen anyone say that about herself.

They are all human beings with 23 pairs of chromosomes, who is more noble than whom?But this 16-year-old child has already loathed himself to such an extent that he regards himself as a disease, the plague of the Middle Ages, the smallpox of the eighteenth century, and a heinous source of infection that everyone should avoid.

At that time, she pushed him very hard and said, "What are you thinking?"

Later she found out that he had just come out of the psychiatric treatment and control center some time ago. She asked him that since he was discharged from the hospital, it means you are all right. He shook his head and typed on his personal terminal.

Later she learned that he was undergoing conservative treatment at home, mainly taking medicine.But he didn't speak for a long time at that time. It is said that for a year, his adoptive father was afraid that he would have a language barrier in the future, so he was forced to arrange for him to go to the service center.She has seen him connect, even if the opposite is an old man whose teeth are leaking, he can't help because of his slow pronunciation, sweating profusely and being at a loss.

He wanted to save himself.He has been trying to save himself.

He said that I know many people don't believe it, but I really don't want to die, I just can't control myself.

When humans experience the worst emotions, in order to get rid of that inner feeling of heartbreak, they will use some extreme behaviors to divert the pain.They cut themselves to relieve the pain, they bleed to relax - they tear themselves apart just to hedge the pain inside.

On so many difficult nights, when Ms. He didn't know it, when medicine couldn't relieve him, food and behavioral therapy couldn't save him, he would grab the last straw and call the emergency number, begging the people from the central hospital to pick him up .

But it was also that year, when Boqi’s medical reform coincided with the critical period. The major medical institutions disclosed their finances, clamoring that they were unsustainable and that the subsidies were insufficient. Accusing those hospitals and departments that don't want to operate and can't make a profit, and then the high-frequency patients in the emergency department of the central hospital were exposed on the Internet. It is the people who called the emergency call, saying that they are taking up medical resources, and they have to go to the emergency room of the hospital for a visit if they have nothing to do.

***

How many people can easily live this life.

They live freely, complain freely, dismiss freely, and curse freely.The blind and deaf don't know that there are other people in this world who try their best to live a normal life.

On that day, the hospital canceled the ambulance service for these people amidst the public sentiment.

It was also that day that Ling Yan asked for help, but to no avail.

Hola, 22, was stunned when she saw the familiar numbers on the list.

She called the police and took a taxi directly to the suburbs. When the police broke in, Ling Yan was lying in a pool of blood in the living room.

**

He cut his pulse, and the blood flowed so cold that his body was cold.

There was a hideous wound on the wrist, not a horizontal cut, but a vertical cut.

He was afraid that he would not die, so several cuts were superimposed, and his wrist was almost cut to pieces.

And the culprit was on his personal terminal.

A series of unfamiliar messages, a series of unfamiliar calls, the most recent one read, "If you are sick, you can't be cured, so don't treat it, what kind of helpline are you calling? Waste of our taxpayers' money!" And ...and... Hola turned over quickly at that time, the whole person was shuddering, all the information was similar, they said cruelly and savagely to Ling Yan, who had been working hard and trying hard to survive back then——

Why don't you die?

**

Life is really too bitter.

How many staggering self-helps are not as good as a tongue that kills.

Really not much. If Hola watched the news 5 minutes late that day, this person would not be saved.Ling Yan really couldn't save him.