2084

Although the game that night was full of twists and turns, it ended successfully.

That night when Qi Siming sent Ling Yan back home, the two of them took a car ride and walked for a long distance. Qi Siming helped Ling Yan carry the backpack and talked about the pets he had raised since he was a child.

Said that he once raised a kitten with mandarin duck eyes and a gray rabbit together. The two little guys made an appointment to go to the designated place to go to the bathroom every noon and night. He said that the little raccoon he raised grew from a cub to 9 kg. Every morning, he would lie on his face and wake him up. His family now has a devil squirrel, who is his younger sister in terms of seniority. On weekdays, she flies over eaves and walls, chews on household wires, and opens Utopia to show Ling Yan the videos he recorded. , the camera angle is against the light, and his sister stands motionless on the big cage like a piggy bank with a big belly, maintaining the same posture for 530 seconds.

Ling Yan asked: "What is it doing?" Qi Siming raised his eyebrows, "Digesting food."

Finally Qi Siming asked, "Do you have any pets at home?"

Ling Yan paused for a moment, then shook his head.

In fact, before this day, Ling Yan always thought that he had pets.Qi Siming feeds and trains his younger sister, and he has been setting up programs for the little monsters in his family to maintain, and he used to think that the lifespan of the robot is 23 years, which is longer than the average lifespan of ordinary animals, and it will safely self-destruct when it reaches the end of its lifespan. It creates danger and does not create garbage. From the perspective of environmental protection, I don't know how many levels it needs to be advanced, but at that moment Ling Yan suddenly envied those carbon-based creatures with warmth, flesh and blood.

Qi Siming raised his hand and gently pinched the back of Ling Yan's neck.His fingers were scorching hot, and when he rubbed the skin of his neck, he felt warm and ironed, "My sister is about to give birth, and I will send you a nephew when the time comes...Okay, hurry in, see you on Monday."

As a result, Ling Yan, who was teased by Squad Leader Qi, suffered from insomnia that night.

In fact, he often suffered from insomnia. 80.00% of mental illnesses are usually accompanied by chronic insomnia in addition to long-term and stubborn depression. That kind of pain is hard to explain. He did not have the intelligent control of Utopia for countless late nights, and he relied on death.

But he kept pursing his lips and smiling that night, staring at the luminous ceiling with piercing eyes, and even the little demon squatting in the corner detected that his infrared thermal image was abnormal, thinking that he had a fever, he turned his head frequently to give him Check your temperature.

Ling Yan had been studying at Sanli School in the west of the city before.

Sanli in the west and Boya in the east, this is the peak of public schools and private schools in City A of Region XXI.Sanli is a century-old school with a great reputation, where the children of eunuchs gather together. It is a rising star of Boya. It was only established for more than ten years. In 74, because of an A-level champion, the house price in the community doubled several times in just one summer. times.

And Boya has lived up to the expectations of the real estate speculators in the past ten years. It gathers the children of elites from all walks of life, and its reputation is close to Sanli in the west of the city, becoming a veritable elite private school.

Last year when Ling Yan was most seriously ill, Ms. Wen leniently allowed him to drop out of school and ride along the southeast coastline for a year.Not long after he set off, Utopia’s news pushed Ms. Wen’s interview. In the camera, the frozen face looked directly at the camera with a smile, promoting the concept that parents should give their children maximum freedom, and never mentioned his hidden secrets about his illness. .At that time, the Ministry of Education was carrying out the policy of reducing the burden of education, so Ms. Wen was also set up as a model.

When he came home this summer, Ms. Wen laughed at Yan Yan and talked to him about "the role of groups and social interaction in shaping youth", and then without asking about his freedom, she simply packed him up and stuffed him into Boya in the east of the city. elite private schools.

New environment, new classmates, Ling Yan put on his mask of good character and academics, and disguised himself as a normal person again.

He really felt the pain. He forced himself to attend classes, cooperate with teaching, and maintain social relations. One day in mid-October, he really couldn't take it anymore. He turned off all the smart devices at home and lay down. He committed suicide in a bathtub full of water. He was afraid of the pain, and even stole a bottle of Remy Martin from his father's liquor cabinet as a farewell party for himself.

This is not the first time he has committed a crime. The last time was last year, which was a week before his ride.At that time, the blade of the scissors cut the flesh of the left wrist, and the blood gushed out. He didn't feel any pain, so he pressed it with his right hand. He didn't realize it until the blood couldn't stop.

The ending was also embarrassing. He repented halfway and ran downstairs to search for Baiyao. The floor was stained with blood and was caught by Ms. Wen.

In fact, he asked Ms. Wen during that time, why did he give birth to him?Ms. Wen was supposed to be busy going to the dinner party at that time, and she was a little anxious when she was dressed in an evening dress, she was a little anxious, saying that the child was thinking about something, and left.

He really can't understand the meaning of life. In his eyes, life has never been "a gift" like the media said. He just feels that there is too much helplessness. People are born, study, work, get married, have children, and go round and round , passed down from generation to generation, even if the physical environment is changed, it is still a closed circle that cannot be broken through. The poor and the humble are still poor and the rich are still rich, the bitter place is still bitter, and the sad place is still sad.

Like his father, he is full of ambitions on weekdays, but secretly he doesn't know how much brutal harm he has to bear from a higher power. Ms. Mingmingwen holds the microphone in her hand, but he does not even have as many ways to seek social relief as ordinary people. Waiting for him to become a prince , After gaining the rights, they will stick to the rights endlessly, feel uncomfortable all their lives, and seek up and down all their lives...

No matter from which angle, the meaninglessness of life is so obvious, Ling Yan just doesn't understand why the suicide rate of human beings is so low.

Ling Yan lay relaxed in the bathtub, this time, he was determined.

Utopia let out a sharp scream, even though the authorization was transferred out as early as the year he was activated at the age of six, he still sensed Ling Yan's huge vital sign crisis.Ling Yan felt that it was noisy, but he couldn't close it. He had no choice but to raise his wet right hand to knock on the edge of the bathtub, humming an old song with his eyes closed.

Abravemanoncerequestedme

toanswerquestionsthatikeep

"isittobeornottobe"

and ireply "oh why ask me"

……

In fact, he didn't remember that day, but according to the doctor, it was Xiao Yao who sent the SOS request to the emergency center. When he woke up, Boya's vice-principal and director were communicating with the doctor. Ms. Wen turned on the remote projection screen to talk to him. Say to him, "Xiaoyan, stop making trouble, okay?"

He was disheartened and didn't want to talk at all. Without Ms. Wen's words, he went back to school the next day without following the doctor's advice.The first period of that day was English class. Qi Siming came early and passed the screen to him the paper that the teacher had corrected. He paused and asked him suddenly, "Do you know that your survival is always wrong?"

His fingers are thin and strong, holding a capacitive pen that is not too long is inexplicably funny, he tapped his smart desktop, and said patiently, "Here, look, you wrote survive in several places in the composition." Suicide, check the electronic dictionary, these two words are not the same word."

Suicide does not equal survival.

They are not one word.

Ling Yan said that it was a lie not to be touched, but he always thought that Qi Siming mentioned it unintentionally. At that time, he was seriously making revisions and comments on the electronic paper, and a classmate from another class happened to pass by the door. It seemed that he was asking Qi Siming for help. He left Shi Shi didn't know which tendon was wrong, and suddenly rubbed the back of his neck, his voice was so low that Ling Yan could hardly hear him clearly.

Ling Yan thought about it later, and felt that what he said at the time should be: Human, quite shallow.

Ling Yan felt touched at that moment, at that moment he felt that the boy beside him understood him.He looked at his figure walking away, and suddenly thought, why does this person have so many friends?so likable?why is he so happy

Later, his mental disorder was exposed by Qi Siming, and he was indeed depressed a lot, but he always thought that it wasn't because his condition had worsened. In fact, among the mental disorders, Smiling Depression caused the most self-harm. Ling Yan found an accomplice and let him be by his side After removing the disguise, he was quite happy.As for drug withdrawal, the discomfort is still tolerable.

On a snowy day in early 2084, Ling Yan still arrived early as a habit.A screw on his smart desk was a little loose. He didn't want to contact the logistics to talk to people, so he prepared his own tools. Since the last time he used a knife, Ms. Wen locked up all the sharp objects in the house. He tried his best , stealing the pointed knife from the little demon's storage compartment.

It's just that the pointed knife is too small to fit in the hand, and he, a handicapped party, accidentally cut his hand.

When Qi Siming entered the classroom, he saw Ling Yan just crawling out from under the desk, holding a sharp-edged knife that didn't look like it could turn screws in his hand, and the other hand seemed to be wearing a color.

His face sank at that moment, and he warned, "Are you trying to cut your wrists in the classroom or self-mutilation?"

Qi Siming didn't even give him a chance to speak, so he picked him up, grabbed his scratched hand very rudely, and led him to the medical box next to the lecture, "Fuck, these days There are people of all kinds. If you get a little sick, you have to seek death and life. Everyone is like your ancestors. If you don’t set up a board and pray three times a day, you will be sorry for you. If you want to say this about me, I am also sick, and I am fucking sharp. Object phobia."

Qi Siming took him into his arms a little fiercely, and the other hand couldn't help pinching the handle of the knife in his hand, as if he was afraid that he would not give it to him, "School rule 79, teachers and students of all grades are not allowed to carry controlled knives, bows and crossbows Dangerous objects such as daggers enter the school, and offenders will be given a warning or a fine of more than 4000 yuan—for the sake of being my deskmate, I will not report it, and I will deal with it for you—you let go!”

The little robot in the corner of the classroom received the signal and moved the big white cocoon lazily over. Qi Siming raised his hand and threw the sharp knife into his mouth. The indicator light beeped, indicating that the processing had been completed.

Qi Siming became anxious and spoke like firing a cannon. Ling Yan originally wanted to explain, but he felt that caring was precious, so he couldn't tell the difference after he endured it.Without saying a word, he watched him take out alcohol to wash his wound, ordered some medicine, and clumsily wrapped it up for him.

At this moment, Qi Siming also closed his mouth and warned, "Ling Yan, listen to me, I don't care what kind of disease you are, I just want to say that everyone is the same these days, and no one can find Utopia. It’s not necessarily normal, labor and management are still in the house listening to heavy metals and killing several cacti, so don’t look down on anyone, don’t cause trouble to anyone—you can still go to school, it means that the disease is not serious , so don’t be pretentious with me, if you really can’t go home and update your values, get a good night’s sleep, there will be decades in the future, what’s the problem with a little ailment now?”

Neuroscience continues to develop, but it is constantly being misunderstood and belittled. Ling Yan has heard too many comforts from relatives and friends who think they are wise, "Your problem is just thinking too much", "You should look forward", "Who doesn't What about when you’re in a bad mood?”, “Boys shouldn’t be so fragile, okay?” “I think you’re pretty stable.”…

Qi Siming's high-spirited talk was full of sticks and sticks, and he was not polite, but there was earnest concern in his rudeness.

At that time, Ling Yan cared unimaginably about very trivial matters. For almost two years, since he was diagnosed with a mental disorder, he faced the misunderstandings of everyone, and Ling Yan seemed to have fallen into a swamp. People around him always felt that he had stepped into a puddle, asking him over and over again why he didn't keep up.Ling Yan kept struggling, but found that the harder he tried, the deeper he sank.

It was a kind of powerless despair, he thought he had already resigned to his fate.

For those days when he sank into the water and couldn't speak, he thought he had already admitted it.

But Qi Siming just told him that it was nothing.

With a somewhat disdainful attitude, he implies that he is all the same, that all struggle.He was clearly ignorant of his pain, but he triggered the unlock code at that moment, skillfully stretched out a hand, and dragged him out of the swamp.

Tell him that after serving his sentence, fate will finally pay off what he owed him.

At that time, Qi Siming didn't even know that he saved a person with a single word.

Ling Yan became abnormal when no one knew about it, and returned to normal when no one knew about it. Qi Siming didn't know the difficulty of the transformation between the two, let alone the kindness of his single thought, so he quietly planted a seed in Ling Yan's heart. In the next thousands of days and nights, childlike branches and leaves will be born, and trees will be full of youthful flowers.