[Entertainment BTS] 100 confessions and 99 rejections

Zheng Haoxi and I sat in the restaurant with the camera turned off, and the two of us were silent.

Everyone on the reality show is going home for the time being.

"Can I have a cigarette?"

I tugged at the corner of my mouth at him and forced a smile.

I really haven't smoked for a long time, unless it is particularly painful.

"There's no smoke in the house, you idiot."

Zheng Haoxi also laughed weakly, and buried his face there.

"I have," I said, he raised his head, slightly dazed, "I've always had it, but I don't smoke."

I keep it in my little drawer for emergencies.

I went upstairs to get a pack of cigarettes, lit one for him and one for myself,

Zheng Haoxi is not very good at smoking, nor is he used to it.

On the contrary, it is me, because I haven't smoked for a long time, I feel a little nostalgic.

"What about people... why did they disappear?"

He took a sip, his voice full of pain and confusion.

"Yeah, it's just gone," I took two puffs and smiled wryly, "Our brother..."

When I think of his name, I can't help but tremble.

Zheng Haoxi's eyes were reddish, and he wiped away my tears.

"Tomorrow we will go to express our condolences," he exhaled, "I will go back to the dormitory later."

"Well," I coughed a few times and put out the cigarette, "Tomorrow I'll go with Sister Shijing too, and I'll also go abroad in the afternoon."

"it is good."

He pulled me up and we both hugged.

I just looked at him so quietly, away from tears.

He just gently touched my head and kept kissing the tears that flowed from me.

"Brother like this can be regarded as a good rest?" I asked, "When I went to my brother's radio station to do a program, my brother told me that he always couldn't sleep."

"Yes," Zheng Haoxi hugged me with great strength, "our dear brother..."

We, Haoxi, were crying too, so I stood on tiptoes and kissed his face again and again.

"Let's shed our tears today," I patted his head lightly, looking at him, "Let's save our strength for tomorrow, okay?"

"We're the ones," he hugged me and turned around, "You can't cry tomorrow."

He pinches the tip of my nose.

"Tomorrow I will be Sister Shijing's strong backing."

I wrinkled my nose, pretending to be strong.

"Hey Yigu, you're so cute."

He patted me on the back.

"Why can't we learn to cherish when we are alive."

I lowered my head, as soon as I said that tears were about to come out again.

"Now I only have regrets, didn't I take good care of it?"

What he's thinking right now is what I'm thinking.

I don't know if it's what we think, but it's what many people think.

"what time is it now?"

I looked at the time, it seemed a bit late.

"Well, my brother said he was coming to pick me up," he scratched his head, "it seems to be coming soon."

I followed him upstairs to get my luggage for the past few days, and followed him to the entrance to put on my shoes.

"We're going to move the dormitory again," he seemed to remember, even though he still tried to share his happiness with me, "the most expensive apartment in Seoul, haha."

"Oh? Big Hit Dafa," I also tried my best to cooperate with him, maintaining an active atmosphere, "Then why did you tell me?"

"There are so many things I want to talk to you every day." He put on his shoes, and the laces undid within a few steps, "Ah..."

He squatted, bent over, trying to tie his shoelaces.

I was squatting there, and I happened to take a small step to help him tie his shoelaces.

"... "

This guy, gently touching the top of my head, treated me like a dog.

"Okay," I tied my shoelaces, sighed slightly, looked up at him, "goodbye."

"Well, let's go."

He took his bag, put on his hat, checked the message, and really left.

I sat there in a daze for a while, went back to relight the cigarette, and continued to smoke.

Many people will not be able to sleep tonight.

After regaining my energy, I went to Sister Shijing's house in the morning.

My sister opened the door immediately, but her face was pale and lack of energy.

"Yeah, I'm fine." My sister was a little helpless, and let me into her house, "Did you tell me you were with me?"

"What's wrong with wanting to be with my sister?" I was also very lethargic, and I was still playing tricks with my sister. "Has sister had breakfast? I bought some for you."

"Well, I made some soup when I knew you were here," she looked at me sitting opposite her, and smiled feebly, "Thank you, Can."

"It's okay," I shook my head slightly, and asked with some concern, "Is my sister's schedule busy with TV dramas?"

"It's okay, that's it." My sister waved her hand, cheering up, "Okay, let's eat, and tidy yourself up a little later, I think you are also in a mess."

"Is there?" I scratched my face in embarrassment, "To be honest, I really can't think of washing up, but luckily I have already washed up."

"Well, you wait for me, and I will clean myself up."

My sister also took a few sips of breakfast, I believe she is more eager to see him at this moment.

The one who is no longer there.

We all have never felt a night like this.

I dare not watch TV, dare not look at my mobile phone, and I don’t want to hear confirmation from others over and over again.

I want to go and see for myself to confirm whether this is a nightmare or not.

Putting on black coats together, there was never a trace of color on their bodies.

Accompanied by two brokers, we went to the mourning hall together.

There are a lot of reporters off the field, but it's nothing.

We just pretend we don't know each other.

But there is a strange feeling.

It was when I got on the elevator, standing beside my sister who was full of grief, I suddenly had a question of "Why am I here".

Then I thought of him, the person who made our hearts hurt.

When I went in and saw the photo of him smiling brightly, I felt even more distressed about him.

The guilt in my heart made me speechless.

Just quietly shed tears.

My sister was about to collapse, but she was holding back her crying.

I supported her, and I agreed that today as my sister's backing, I should be stronger.

Everyone present had swollen eyes, pale faces, and forced a smile.

The four members of SHINEE acted as mourners.

Brother Key has only arrived for a while, and he, who loves to cry, is also crying in grief.

I hugged him and comforted him.

Say some useless words, anyway, he can't listen to him at this moment.

I took my sister away and went to eat something.

Because my plane was about to take off, I said goodbye to my sister.

"Do you feel that this day is so unreal?"

I smiled wryly at the assistant sister.

"Yes."

My sister also agreed and took me into her arms.

"Sister, I'm not crying anymore," I said helplessly, "You don't have to keep patting me like this."

The writer sister who came to take the picture thought I was crying, and shouted at the camera sister to point at me.

"Okay, okay," my sister said accommodating me, "have a good sleep on the plane."

"Well," I nodded, and said out of nowhere, "I will remember him well."

Even if people's tears flow and sorrow passes, forget him.

I will also remember him, not as an idol, but as an ordinary person who told me to eat more every time we met with a smile.

That brother who loves to laugh.

I'm really sorry that I didn't take good care of you when you were still by my side, and didn't ask you how you are doing recently.

The chance is gone.

Then rest well.

Didn't you complain to me about not being able to sleep?

I am sorry.

Really.

Thank you for your hard work.

The author has something to say: Hey, depression is terrible.This is the topic I studied recently, I hope it will be sunny, everyone!