The ten-year trace of the soul of chess

"What are you doing?" Seeing Guang kneeling in front of him, Zheng Fu's expression darkened.

Guang Guang didn't have the courage to look into his parents' eyes, so he just lowered his head and said in honorific words: "Father, mother, there is something I have been keeping from you, but in fact I..."

"I remembered that the TV series is about to start. I, I'm going back to my room first..." Midway through Guang's words, Mitsuko suddenly stood up, murmured and walked towards the room.

Zhengfu stretched out his hand to grab her: "What TV are you watching, sit down and listen to it!"

Mitsuko struggled slightly with her back to him, but did not break free.

"Mitsuko!" Masao called again.

His hand only gently pulled down the belt, but Mitsuko fell back on the sofa stiffly like a marionette.

Sensing his wife's strong uneasiness, the husband turned to look at Guang while holding her hand tightly: "What did you want to say just now?"

Guang quickly glanced at his mother, lowered his head again, and pressed his nails into his palms: "You'd better...just hit me up."

Zhengfu: "What did you do wrong? Why should I hit you?"

"I..." Guang was at a loss for words for a moment.

At this time, he knew that it was the best policy to admit his mistake immediately, but he never felt that he was wrong about "liking Liang", and admitting his mistake at this time was like denying his entire relationship, he couldn't do it ...

So, he could only keep repeating: "Just hit me."

In the living room, the atmosphere was tense to the limit.

It was like a rubber band stretched to its extreme strength suddenly snapped.

Before Zhengfu could speak, Mitsuko stood up first: "Hitting you, is it useful to hit you?! Why didn't you tell your father, why did you hit you?!"

She pushed and shoved Guang vigorously one after another, and when Guang answered with a muffled voice, she almost couldn't stand on her knees.

Seeing something wrong, the husband quickly hugged his wife, but Mitsuko still kept moving: "There are so many people in this world, why, why..."

Speaking of this, Mitsuko's eyes were completely red, and she could no longer say the following words.

Since the marriage, the husband thought that there were constant quarrels, but he had never seen his wife so heartbroken.

He coaxed Mitsuko into his arms and sat down on the sofa again, his gaze suddenly sharpened towards Hikaru: "Ah Hikaru, what's going on?!"

--what happened?

--what happened?

Masao's words were like echoes traveling through the mountains, hitting Light's eardrum back and forth, causing him to almost fall to the ground.

After a long while of silence, Hikaru slowly raised his head, his eyes passed Mitsuko and settled on Masao.

He finally "turned himself in": "Father, I like men."

Zhengfu: "..."

He could understand every word he said, but once he formed a sentence, he suddenly couldn't understand: "You, what did you just say? Who do you like?"

"I like men." Guang repeated calmly.

"No, you, how do you know...you haven't tried it, you..." Zhengfu's words are like a certain messy program, which is debugged repeatedly, but the output is still abnormal.

"No, father, I have someone I like." Guang interrupted him, looking straight into his eyes, "I love him."

"But that's all your illusion!! It's just because you and Taya-kun live together every day!! You're just used to his existence!!!" Mitsuko finally couldn't bear it anymore, and refuted sharply.

The moment he heard that name, Hikari's heart suddenly sank.

He shouldn't have said Liang's name in the morning...

What, what?

Just now Mitsuko said, Hikari... who does he like?Who does he love?

The expression on Zhengfu's face suddenly froze as if a plaster cast had been cast on it.He looked at his wife next to him as if asking for proof, but Mitsuko didn't want to stay there for even a second. She didn't even look at her again, she went straight back to the room and closed the door.

For a moment, the whole room was silent.

There was a dead silence.

Masao sat on the sofa, repeating as if talking to himself: "Taya-kun, Taya-kun..."

After reading it for the third time, he suddenly raised his head and asked Guang: "Your mother just said...'Taya-kun'? Which Taya is it? Do I know it? Have you seen it before?"

Light is speechless.

The husband stared at him, and the suppressed fire burned to the top door: "Why don't you speak? Why don't you answer?!"

Guang looked up at his father, only to feel that his chest was rising and falling more and more violently, as if something would burst out of his chest in the next second.

He tried to call "Father", but Zheng Fu raised his hand and stopped him.

Masao seemed unwilling to give up, and confirmed to Guang one last time: "So, if I understand correctly, the person you like is Ryo Taya, and...do you love him?"

"Yes, I love him without reservation."

"you……"

A palm wind swept across his face, and he closed his eyes as if appointed.

So be it.he thinks.

They always need to know.

There is no need...to hide it anymore...

However, in the great silence, the expected fist and slap did not come.

Guang opened his eyes, and saw Zheng Fu's face was livid, his raised palm was hanging in the air, and his right hand with veins exposed was trembling faintly.

It was too easy to drop this palm, but then what?Will the light change his decision because of this palm?Can this palm make everything pretend it never happened?

Seeing the resolute expression on his son's face, Zhengfu felt deeply powerless for the first time.

This kind of powerlessness has never happened even when I have to accept the abuse of customers.

His right hand finally fell down, Zheng Fu seemed to be extremely tired, he silently waved his hand towards Guang, Guang wanted to say something, but was stopped by him again.

"You... go upstairs first," Zheng Fu lowered his head without taking another look, "Let me think about it, let me, think about it..."

On that night, a small piece of the world of light collapsed.

At an unbuffered speed, it suddenly fell apart.

The relaxed chat at the dinner table in the past is gone, the brisk humming of the father in the bath is gone, and even the slightly long-winded nagging of the mother has faded out of the daily life.

Instead, there was a long silence.

It was midsummer, but entering the rattan house seemed to step into a long and cold winter, and all the hustle and bustle was buried underground with a thunderbolt.

However, except for the three people in the same house, no one has noticed the haze hanging over the family, and those who have really noticed can only try to figure out the lover's love for a few days in a few words every day. recent situation.

On the day Liang was discharged from the hospital, he faintly felt the abnormality of the light.

Although this so-called "abnormality", in the eyes of others, it is just a little more silence, a more serious expression, and a little too blunt when parting.

But it always felt like something was going to happen.

After Liang returned home, he called Guang.Even if no one answered at first, the light came back quickly.His voice and tone were the same as before.

It was this "business as usual" that made Liang loosen the strings in his heart.

Partly out of guilt towards his mother, and partly because he wanted to be with her more, Liang acquiesced to Ming Zi's suggestion of "going home to recuperate" after he was discharged from the hospital.

Due to prior adjustments, Liang had no work arrangements for three days after returning home.

In the past few days, he has been rehearsing the chess records alone at home, going out for a walk occasionally, and talking on the phone with Guang for a while.Even if I gradually realized that my mother was deliberately accompanying and staying with me when I went out or on the phone, I couldn't complain at all.

It wasn't until he later realized that Guang was silent on the phone more and more times, and his communication with himself gradually changed from phone calls to text messages. The expression that was hesitant to speak for a while finally resurfaced in Liang's mind.

He began to read the text messages that Hikari had sent him one by one.

Kwang said that he was waiting for him in their "home".

Just say, he's fine, don't worry.

Just say, take care of yourself.

Let's just say he's busy.

Just say good night.

How busy is it that you only have time to respond to text messages but no time to make a phone call?

Liang also once convinced himself that he was just supercilious.

He's just...not used to not seeing the light.

However, the uneasiness entrenched in his heart became more and more intense, like a seed buried in his heart, which gradually took root and sprouted, and then grew thorny vines that tightly tightened and entangled his whole mind.

He even called He Gu, but still got nothing.

Also, He Gu is not light, how can he be clear about the dynamics of light?

Liang wished he could visit their rented apartment right away, but he still couldn't find a suitable opportunity - his mother's meticulous care and company for him filled him with gratitude, but it also continued to intensify his urge to escape.

He thought that leaving the hospital early would at least allow him to spend more time with the light, but he didn't expect that he would be bound in another cage.

Pain that is too faint, like a drop in the ocean, is insignificant.

Everyday the sun rises as usual and everyday life goes on.

After that night, they were not grounded, their communication equipment was not confiscated, and they were not even given the slightest bit of beating and scolding. Everything was dormant under the almost weird superficial peace.

Guang tried to resume the topic more than once, but every time he mentioned it, his parents quietly distracted him in various ways.

It is the "as if nothing happened" of parents is like putting a glass cover on a burning candle, extinguishing the hope in the light's heart inch by inch.

I can't see the way forward, and I can't see the end of the long night.

Only those two white stars, who had earned it through untold hardships, silently talked about the meaning of light gritted teeth and perseverance.

It seems that every time you get one, you get closer to that person.

Walking on the street, a cold male voice in a video store by the side of the road is singing: "Even if you take a small step, don't let go... Before you are exhausted, it doesn't matter even if you are torn apart. At that time and place, The bond with you that will never disappear[1]."

In an instant, all the memories related to Liang flooded into Guang's mind like pieces of auspicious light.

So many lights, so many... the bits and pieces of the common experience.

As Guang walked, he suddenly stopped in the middle of the road.

When he felt his nose sour, he quickly raised his head, but the floating clouds in the sky looked at him, and the corners of his lips curled up as if relieved.

Thinking about the mood of Liangshi, it is like a breeze blowing away the dust, revealing the radiant inside.

Why should you feel lost?Just ask yourself.

Didn't he talk to Liang a long time ago?

Don't let go, don't give up.

He still has unfinished chess games to finish;

He still has the Honinbo title that he didn't win.

How can you admit defeat so easily?

In my heart, there seems to be a voice echoing, only when you become a better version of yourself and stand beside Liang, can you be more confident.

Although he hopes to be forgiven by his parents, he also wants to prove to his parents with practical actions that he is still their Hikari, and he can still make them proud.

Guang calmed down a little, and finally picked up his mobile phone and made a call.

The author has something to say:

[1]: The lyrics are selected from "Knead" by Kamenashi Kazuya, and I think it fits the light and brightness of that time very well.