The ten-year trace of the soul of chess

For a moment, the whole room was oppressed as if it were a closed container, making it difficult to breathe for a few minutes.

It was too late to speak, and Mitsuko asked again: "What's going on?"

Hikaru looked up at her, then quickly looked away as if being scalded: "Well, I, Taya..."

Mitsuko: "What happened to you and Taya?"

"I..." As if using too much force, the words broke as soon as they came out.

"I like..." Light tried again.

However, as if under some spell, any words related to "Taya" and "Like" will be stuck in the throat once you want to connect them into sentences.

Just when Hikari was about to speak for the third time, Mitsuko's eyes lit up suddenly: "I see!"

Light froze for a moment, then raised his head abruptly.

Mitsuko: "You must have quarreled with Taya again, right?"

"..." Guang smiled feebly, and after laughing, he became dumb again.

As if regaining his language ability little by little, he asked tentatively, "What do you think, Taya...?"

"Taya?" Mitsuko became more and more confused, "He was talking about you, what does it have to do with Taya?"

Hikaru said something quickly, but Mitsuko didn't catch it.

"It's related." Guang said again, the hand hanging by the side of his body was clenched tightly, and a little bit embedded in the palm, "He and I have a relationship."

Mitsuko's eyes gradually dimmed when she saw the light, her mouth was still urging, but her heart sank for no reason: "You child, what are you going to say? The TV is still on in the room."

Guang looked into Mitsuko's eyes, and didn't answer directly, just continued to ask her word by word: "If, if I let you have another son like Taya, would you accept it?"

Mitsuko: "What do you mean?"

Guang forced a smile: "It's literally. Would you like to?"

Mitsuko didn't answer right away.She seemed to be searching for all the memories related to Taya in her memory.

That child... In the few contacts between Mitsuko and Taya, she always remembered that child's gentle smile and always decent behavior, but she always felt that there was a kind of loneliness in him that was not like a young man should have. Like a lone shadow framed against a black background.

After a long time, Mitsuko finally responded.

She didn't say "willing" or "unwilling", but she seemed to touch the softest part of her heart as a "mother".

She touched her bald head: "From now on, bring Taya to our house for dinner often. The two of you live together, and you don't need to think about who is taking care of whom."

Light nodded silently.

Mitsuko asked again, "Any other questions?"

Light did not squeak.

He looked at his mother silently like this, and felt as if a pair of hands in his body were tearing him into two pieces——the devil was clinging to his right ear and bewitching him in a low voice, why are you still hesitating?speak out!Say it and you will have no worries anymore!

On the other side, the angel clasped his left shoulder firmly, do you really want to say it?Don't you care about anything?Even if you personally ruin the smile on your mother's face for this? !

In a dilemma, at a loss.

And no matter which choice you make, you are doomed to fail to have both.

Finally, he heard himself say hoarsely, "No more."

Mitsuko still repeated confirmations anxiously, until Guang turned around impatiently and gently pushed her into the room, before finally telling her: "Then I'm going back to the room. Remember to close the door when you leave at night."

Half of her body was almost submerged in the room, but Guang, as if waking up from a dream, hurriedly asked behind her: "Tonight I—"

Mitsuko turned around suspiciously, and listened to him complete the words: "I sleep here tonight, is it okay?"

Her silly son actually asked her if he could sleep in his own home tonight...

It was so abnormal.

Mitsuko sighed helplessly, and walked back to Hikari.Her intuition told her that the child had something on his mind.What does it look like for a boy to lose his mind when something happens?But she couldn't bear to be too harsh.

"Ah Hikari, raise your head!" She patted Hikari's arm heavily, and when Hikari finally looked up at herself, Mitsuko softened her eyebrows and said with relief, "This is your 'home'. This home will always be yours Its safe haven. Wherever you go, its doors are always open to you."

For a moment, Hikari almost blurted out: "What if I say, I like Taya?"

But he gave up after all.

Surprised that he had said something stupid again, Guang bowed his head and laughed silently.

If Mitsuko pays close attention to Hikari's eyes, she will find that in his lowered eyes at this time, bright red blood threads like spider webs are slowly emerging one after another.

That was the evidence left after the violent mood swings.

Although it only took a blink of an eye, they all disappeared without a trace.

After Mitsuko returned to the room, the whole room fell silent again.

It was so quiet that one could feel a shudder running down one's spine, as if a pair of eyes were hiding in the shadows watching what happened in the living room just now.

For a long time, the light is like a puppet that has been disconnected, standing numbly in the living room.When he entered the room, the blood on his face had already faded to paleness in the almost overwhelmed guilt.

Just now, he clearly had the opportunity to speak out.

That secret is like Shen Ke's bone marrow, which can't be removed without cutting the flesh of the wrist bone.He may be bloody and bloody, but as long as he can be exposed to the sun, the wound will heal one day.

Still, he backed off.

Go back to the room.

When I called Taya, my mind was in chaos.In the chaos of his thoughts, he only had one thought - Taya was still waiting for him to go back.

After the phone rang, it was quickly picked up: "Light?"

It was clear that they had only been separated for a few hours, and when he heard this extremely familiar voice again, Guang actually felt sad for a while.

He called softly: "Taya."

"Huh?" Liang's tone was faint, as if with a slight smile.

Guang couldn't help but clenched the phone tightly, and said with some difficulty: "That...Taya, it's too late, I...won't come back today."

Liang just responded lightly, and then said naggingly: "It's really getting late, go to bed early."

Light moved his lips, but couldn't utter a word.The calmer Taya's voice was, the more uneasy he felt.

After that, there was a long silence at both ends of the line.

Guang is like a child who has made a mistake and is waiting for his parents to claim him, keeping his head down and holding his mobile phone all the time.His hands were sore, but he still couldn't bear to let go.

He seemed to return to their rented apartment through invisible electric waves.He saw Taya who was sitting alone on the sofa in the apartment at the moment.He wanted to turn his shoulders and see his expression clearly.

Unfortunately, he can't...

During the waiting time, the second hand passed by one by one, like a sharp claw scratching sharp scratches on the heart of the light.

Unable to bear the long silence, he finally spoke first.

He tried to make his voice sound more relaxed: "Taya, are you still there?"

Liang: "I'm here."

Guang relaxed a little as if he had settled down, and leaned lazily on the edge of the table: "What are you doing now?"

Liang laughed: "Call you."

"..." seems to be right.

Guang said again: "I'm not at home at night, so don't lose your sleep."

Liang was silent for a while: "Well, I will try my best."

It was still faint, as if with a casual tone, but Guang felt unreasonable in his heart.

Just as he was trying to change the subject, the bright voice on the other end seemed to be engulfed in fog, coming from far and near.

It should have been unclear, but Guang could hear every word clearly: "Guang, can you promise me one thing?"

He pretended to be calm and asked, "What?"

Liang: "When you say it, at least let me stay by your side."

"..." This time, Guang was silent for a long time.

Despite Taya's ambiguity, he understood immediately what he meant.

He knew that "that day" would always come.He can't escape, and he can't hide.

But when "that day" really comes, what's the use of Taya being by my side?Does being by your side mean sharing responsibility?What do you take me for, Taya?

He closed his eyes, and the distressed appearance of his mother in the dream came back to his mind as clearly as yesterday.If Ta Ya was not around, he could have the cheek to beat and scold him as he pleases.But if Taya was with him...he didn't dare to think about it, he only knew that his self-esteem would not allow it, and he would never let Taya suffer the slightest bit of grievance—any embarrassment that his close relatives put on Taya, It made him feel more ashamed than beating him and scolding him.

Maybe Taya felt that he was responsible, maybe Taya had shielded him countless times in the past, but this time, only this time, he hoped that he could prop up a piece of their future for Taya with his own hands.

It turns out that such people really exist in this world.You are willing to share all your success and joy with him, but you are reluctant to let him experience even a little bit of pain with you.

He once swore to himself that he would never deceive Taya again.But he didn't want to disappoint Taya either.

After a long time, Liang finally heard Guang say, "You are always by my side."

He still pushed himself away...

The moment he put down the phone, Liang suddenly realized clearly that the young man he loved so much was gone forever.Although in Guang's bones, there is still the stubbornness and innocence of the original intention.

A strong sense of frustration suddenly surged in his heart.For this change of light, he didn't know whether to be happy or sad.

For the first time, he doubted himself - if time could be turned back, shouldn't he have provoked Shinto in the first place?Shouldn't he rot in his heart the unceasingly growing Qi Nian until his death?

Is he... wrong?

However, the unknown is not terrible, what is terrible is that you do not have the ability to deal with the unknown.

In the game between Hikari and Nakamura this afternoon, he really couldn't imagine what kind of chess game would make Hikari refuse to resume the game with him after the game.And Nakamura's meaningful words before leaving.Who is this person?What happened to the sense of oppression that he invisibly brought about?

In the living room, the lights were brightly lit, but it was bright but there was a cloud of black mist invisible to the naked eye, which was engulfing him at a lightning speed.

After closing the line, the uneasiness in Guang's heart seemed to be broken.

He wants to go back.

immediately!

Almost without a pause, he just grabbed his schoolbag and walked out.

However, as soon as he opened the door, he bumped into Mitsuko who was standing at the door and was about to knock on the door.

Mitsuko: "Ah Guang, you are..."

Guang: "I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry and I have to go back now."

Just when he and Mitsuko were in the same body, Hikaru suddenly stopped in his tracks.

He turned to look at his mother, with a little bit of guilt in his eyes: "Did I cause you a lot of trouble when I grow up so big?"

Mitsuko: "..."

Guang asked again: "Can I apply for a 'forgiveness charm' in advance?"

Mitsuko has heard of "talisman" and "safety charm", but she has never heard of "forgiveness charm".

She couldn't help but asked Guang: "What is 'Forgive Talisman'?"

Hikaru lowered his eyes and held Mitsuko's hand lightly. After a while, he raised his head again, his eyes seemed to suppress some emotion: "If one day I do something to make you sad, you can...forgive me again ?"

The moment the words came out of his mouth, there was a voice in his heart saying, it's too despicable.

Why didn't he know that he was using his mother's love for him to leave a way out for possible harm to them in the future.

But he has no choice.

He loves Taya.

Although at the age of 18, it is too early to say the word "love"; although he has never said "I love you" to Taya seriously.

But he did love him.How much he loved him, he couldn't tell.If I had to use an analogy, if one day Taya left him first, he would still be breathing, but it seemed that all life had lost its color.The time to come has become a countdown of waiting and reunion.

Mitsuko pretended to think about it deeply: "It depends on what happened. If I really broke my heart, I might not recognize you as a son."

Hikari's eyes turned red almost immediately.

It's been too long since I saw her son so sad. Mitsuko was eager to bring this topic up, and she became incoherent: "I won't forgive you for saying anything. Even your IQ, which is full of Go, can't do anything like murder and arson. things."

"Mother..." Guang whispered.

Mitsuko's heart trembled, and her heart suddenly softened into a mess: "Okay, okay. Forgive, forgive. Anyway, I owe you from the day I gave birth to you. You are really getting more and more promising. You haven't grown up at all!"

According to Guang's original temper, he must refute on the spot.

This time, he accepted it with a smile after hearing it: "Well, I haven't grown up, and I've been standing still for the past few years. Maybe it's a little bit backward."

Mitsuko stood where she was, looking at her son with a complicated expression.

In the end, she just patted Guang Guang's shoulder: "What are you still dawdling about? Isn't there something urgent? Be careful on the road."

Hikaru hesitated for a moment, said goodbye to Mitsuko, and went out.

Looking at the back of the light disappearing into the night, Mitsuko smiled gratifiedly at first, but after laughing, there was a hidden worry on her face that she had never had before.She suddenly felt that her son seemed to be walking far, far away without her noticing, and she could hardly keep up with him.

When rushing out of the subway station, Guang's footsteps paused slightly.

He unconsciously looked to the left of the exit.The memory seemed to open the gate, casting a slender figure in that inconspicuous corner.Once there was a boy who was waiting there holding an umbrella.He moved the umbrella to the top of his head, smiled with watery eyes and said, I want to see you soon.

More than once.

Light has never felt so clearly.

Like a kite himself, Taya held the other end of the kite string firmly.No matter where he goes or how far he goes, as soon as Ta Ya pulls up the line, he will return to him at the end of the world - even he can't control it.

"Taya, I'm back!"

Pushing open the door, Guang couldn't wait to walk into the living room.

However, in the next second, his pupils shrank suddenly.