sick white moonlight

Once upon a time, I was a queen; later, I was a queen mother.

Since I was a child, my father told me that in the future, I will definitely be a rich, noble and beautiful lady.

Even, in my father's conception, I am very likely to be selected into the royal family and become the supreme woman.

So I have to be virtuous, to be patient, to know the rules, and of course, I must also learn to use all means to occupy a moral position.

In this way, I can remain invincible.

In this way, I can remain supreme forever.

About what my father told me and taught me, I always study hard and try to do my best.However, I never had enough confidence in my future, as my father expected.

I don't ask for much, and I never expect anything. I think I am cautious, practical, and timid at the same time.

In fact, I never believed in the nonsense about what my father told me in the novels. It wasn't until later that I was chosen as the prince's concubine, and then became the queen, that I had a few times in awe of fate. .

It is said that in the year I was born, a Taoist priest asked my father for a bowl of water as he walked past my house.His father was a benevolent person. He not only gave the Taoist priest a sweet spring, but also a sumptuous banquet.

After drinking and paying for the banquet, the Taoist said to his father, looking at the sky above your Su mansion, there is a young phoenix singing in the sky, I am afraid that it is a person who descended from the sky, born with the wind and fate.

At that time, not long after I was born, my father was very happy after hearing this and gave the Taoist priest silver taels. Unexpectedly, the Taoist priest refused to accept it and left in a hurry.

This incident is well-known far and near, and it is quite magical.

So since I was a child, my father had placed high hopes on me, and tried his best to train me and publicize my deeds.

In fact, I have always suspected that maybe there is no such thing as commandment at all, and maybe even that Taoist priest was hired by my father to perform the show.

My father has always paid attention to publicizing his reputation. Everyone said that he is a kind person who is willing to do good, and that I am a lady with excellent conduct and virtue.

For these compliments, in fact, I always want to laugh inexplicably in private, but I never show it. Therefore, in front of my father, I am still his good daughter, living up to any of his expectations, and I have not violated the rules.

His father's reputation is indeed solid, outside he makes friends with many people, he is quite famous, inside he has strict requirements, and the family tradition is just like.

Of course, the most important thing is that he was not born in a wealthy family. Even, many years ago, he was a poor scholar, and he was not able to escape the sea of ​​suffering until he was admitted to Jinshi.

However, according to what my father said, there were still officials in the generation of the ancestors, and they were not even minor officials, but in his generation, they had already declined.

I've even always thought that the idea of ​​my father, who wanted to push me into the royal family and send me to the palace, made me extremely unbelievable.

He is a scholar and a literati who was born in the orthodox imperial examination.Based on his contacts in the officialdom, even if he can't get married to a high-ranking official, wouldn't it be a better way out to find a classmate in the same ranking, find a close friend who knows him well, and marry his daughter off?

The family of literati who were both born innocently knew each other's family well. Is it not good enough for a woman?

Of course, this is also the normal way out for most ladies of the same age.

Even if there is no wealth and wealth, at least it is safe and worry-free.

In the dead of night, I also had such silly dreams, marrying a talented scholar, he will come on a white horse, wearing a green shirt, and come to the peach blossom tree, the jade tree is facing the wind, elegant and unrestrained.And I was in the carriage, secretly lifted a corner of the curtain, and looked at his handsome side face silently.

Unfortunately, that will always be just a dream and will never become a reality.

When I just grew up and matured, when I recalled my past thoughts, I would always laugh at my innocence; later, as time went by and I was old, when I thought about it, I felt a little sad and envious.

Dreams come true, that is the idea that only young people have.

Such silly dreams, except in the playbooks of talented men and beautiful women, how can I hear it in reality.

Even if there are, there are only a few of them. They are happy with each other, and they are married, and they are more likely to be joking.

In this world, being able to accompany each other until old age, stay close to each other, and have children and grandchildren is the greatest happiness for a woman.

Living has never been easy.

Young, young, for an old man who has passed away, he is always envious, envious of such vitality and vitality.

As an old man, I have already learned to be content.

Even though, in my whole life, I may never have had a painstaking love, nor have I had the opportunity to be happy with each other, but I live a dignified life, live a life with all my heart, and live a life that goes well with my heart.Although I didn't get love, I got precious family affection.

Even though he doesn't love me, he has protected me for the rest of my life.

Even though he didn't love me, he gave me protection.

Even though he didn't love me, he never lied to me.

I know that my husband, the husband in name, is the most noble person in the world, the most ruthless person, but also the most merciful person.

He doesn't love me and never gives me a chance to love him.

I know he is doing it for my own good.

Love him, it can indeed be said to be easily hurt.

Fortunately, I never really loved him. I regard him as a relative, like an elder brother.

Speaking of this, maybe you don't know my name yet.

I'll just say it.

My surname is Su and my first name is Hanwei.

I know, you've never even heard or seen my name, and you probably don't even know who I am.

I am a character that has not officially appeared in the text, and even, I only occupy a short sentence in other people's memories, no more than ten characters.

As you know, I'm a supporting character, even a minor one.

The only time it appeared was in other people's memories, and even my name was shortened directly, and only the word "Queen" was used as a pronoun.

You are right, I am a queen, no matter in the past or now, no matter in which history has been changed or not changed, I always occupy the title of queen, have the status of queen, enjoy With the power of the queen.

However, although I have very few appearances, I can tell you with certainty that I am actually very important, and the progress of the plot has never been separated from me.

Even, my destiny is set long ago, and my life is always closely related to the protagonist.However, I can tell you clearly that I always have my own life, and the choices I make are my own choices, not coerced or coerced by others.

He once told me that if I want to leave the palace, he is willing to do it.

But I ended up saying no.

It's hard to find a lover, even if I leave this deep palace, I may not be able to get what I want.

I am no longer the young lady who still had fantasies even though I was bound by the rules.

Now, I am the queen, and I am in the supreme position in the harem.

He has given me all the glory, all the status, all the honor that can be given to me.

Nothing but love.

Even, he once gave me a chance to escape and find my own happiness.

However, I am afraid, I am timid, I am cowardly, I never dare to take that step.

I am not his younger sister, who has the courage to marry again and again, even though she missed a few marriages and even suffered a lot of injuries, but in the end she also obtained happiness.

She can meet her lover, that's what she deserves.

And I'm just a coward.

I can't live without what I have now, and I don't want to start from scratch, even though I know that if I try, he will help me solve all the difficulties ahead.

Because I knew in my heart that he felt he owed me.

I said he is ruthless, maybe you all believe it, because he never gave me hope.

All my life, because I married him, I have never received the love of my husband.

But his compassion is also true, although he never mentioned it.

Actually, let me tell you, he owed me nothing.

It's just that he doesn't love me.

This book cannot be forced.

What's more, he is the king of a country. Before becoming a husband, he was always the master of the world and a symbol of imperial power.

Whatever he wants, he should let him ask for it.

In the eyes of the people of the world, this is a matter of course.

As for me, I'm just a woman, at best I'm occupying the righteousness of the queen.

I am the queen, so what, everyone likes to hear that the queen is virtuous and virtuous, and never fights for favor or power.

As for the deep love between the emperor and empress, I am afraid that in the eyes of outsiders, it is the most insignificant.

However, he seemed to be a different person.

He never felt that way, that's why he felt like he was hurting me.

To be honest, I can't understand him, although we have been a couple for more than 20 years.

Maybe they are not real couples after all, our two hearts have never even been close to each other, and the years of getting along with each other only enabled me to care about him and ask him to be like his relatives.

Although, in fact, he doesn't need me to do this.

He has people who love him, and people who always love him wholeheartedly.

That person, I can't speak directly, and I can't keep silent.

After all, that person has always influenced me throughout my life.

He took my husband in name now, and he killed my actual husband.

Of course, I was really dissatisfied with the previous sentence.

As for the latter sentence, I can say that I have never complained.

That incident was done jointly by him and me, even I was the real culprit, and he was just pushing the boat along.

As you can imagine, I'm back.

They are all back, why can't I come back.

Although, I came back a little late, a little overwhelmed, and a little inexplicable.

To be precise, nothing is called back.

It's just a dream.

Maybe it's because my previous life was too unsatisfactory, and this life is too smooth, so I asked the dream to warn me.

I have never told anyone in my life that when he came to me on the day after the ceremony, I was full of joy, and finally exhausted.

That night, he lay beside me, quietly, at first, he didn't say anything.

I went from apprehension to panic, but he didn't touch me, and he didn't even say a word to me.

Although I was calm on the surface and pretended to be indifferent, I couldn't stop thinking in my heart, why I couldn't please him.

Later, late at night, he told me that although I will be his wife in the future, he does not love me and will not love me in the future.

He also said that even though he doesn't love me, he can give me everything I deserve.

Nothing but love.

Finally, he said, he likes men.

I was shocked that he was so frank and direct, without any cover-up.

Treat me like family.

From now on, I will be your elder brother.

I will take care of you, protect you, and be your support.

Just, don't think of me as your husband.

Later, he said this to me again.

What can I do, and what can't be done.

I chose to accept.

Even after the shock, I carefully judged in my heart. Maybe it is a good thing for me. I no longer need to worry about my status being damaged in the future. I don’t have to work hard to win the favor of my husband in order to get A certain amount of petting, to consolidate their position.

And my husband, he will be nice to me, even if it is not love.

However, my heart couldn't help but ache, and after all, I was a little unwilling.

After all, I had fantasies that the husband and wife would treat each other as equals, or treat each other as guests, but it never occurred to me that he didn't want to be my husband, but only wanted to be my elder brother.

The days passed slowly like that. He was not in good health and had no children for a long time, which was expected by everyone.As for me, I also gradually became acquainted with him.In fact, if we talk about meeting, there are not many. When facing him, I often have difficulty speaking.

He often said things that may be shocking to ordinary people and risk the world's disgrace. If I were a dutiful boudoir girl, I would definitely be frightened by him, and then I would not dare to say a word.However, I am not after all, I always feel that I always have energy, I am not convinced, I can't get used to it, it is obviously a bit out of line, even though I have not done anything, just thinking in my heart.

So, I gradually listened to what he said, and gradually developed some unknown admiration and worship for him.

He even discussed with me later that when he becomes the emperor, he can secretly send me out of the palace to find a beloved man.

I still refuse.

If I were here, he would be as stable as before, without being suspected.I know that he doesn't care much about others knowing about it, but after all, he is the future emperor, so I want to do something for him.

I admit that at that time, I still had the mentality of a child.

Or, it is too well protected and never bothered by worldly affairs.I still can't help liking him a little bit, even though I didn't realize how much I liked him back then.

Until, he ascended to the throne of God; until, the man gradually entered the court; until, I broke the relationship between them.

This time, I was completely desperate.

Even, I still remember the last experience in my dream.

At that time, I was also a queen, but I was not as chic and comfortable as I am now.

I have a smart and affectionate husband. He used to be a prince and later became an emperor.

It's just that he doesn't love anyone, he only cares about his throne and power.

In other words, he only loves himself.Everything else is just a vassal.

At first, I was deceived by his perfect appearance, but later, after knowing his true face, I gave up.I have endured and endured for many years, I have no children, I am just a virtuous and virtuous queen.

However, this is not enough.He actually wants to abolish my posthumous position for the sake of a pregnant concubine.

I know, he wants me to stay in the cold palace.

Because I know too many of his secrets.

Don't worry, I will live well and live well.At that time, I swore in my heart.

So, I began to unite the ministers who returned to the court and were trusted by him.

Next, I poisoned my husband with an elixir.

On the day he died, I walked to his bed, whispered in his ear, and told him the truth.

His expression at that time was really interesting, hehe, I know, he couldn't believe that a well-behaved woman like me had the courage to resist him and even betray him.

How dare my wife poison him!

Of course I dare.

I was never the cowardly, well-behaved woman he thought I was.

I raised a young prince to my knees, and ascended the throne with him in my arms.

Today, I am the queen mother, and it can even be said that I am the highest-ranking and most powerful person in the palace.

I started to walk out of the harem and into the court.

I soon realized that I was not capable enough to deal with those ministers and compete for power.After all, etiquette imprisoned me deeply.

I chose to give up and choose to let another person run the country.In fact, I trust that man.

That person is the one I didn't talk much about, and I didn't say much about it.Maybe it's because he and I are really destined, and the two lives are closely related because of other people.

I always thought he was a good guy.

A good man does not live long, so I say he is a good man.

Then, many years passed, and the little emperor grew up and had his own ideas. He wanted to seize power, and he wanted my help.

But I turned it down, I didn't like him.

He was the one I saw the most, and I knew him well, he would not be a good emperor, he was neither smart nor courageous enough, he couldn't suppress the ministers of the court.

But I didn't expect that he actually succeeded.

The man was on an expedition, and died of poisoned arrows.

Could it be that this is God's help, I can't help thinking.However, the facts quickly disappointed me.

But in just a few years, the country under my feet was broken.The capital was broken, and I didn't run away. I felt that I had lived enough, so I chose to stay and die with it.

Such a bitter and helpless dream, I dreamed again and again until I fully understood, maybe, that was my previous life.

Fortunately, my life in this life is good enough, there is no conspiracy, no rivalry to frame me, as a queen, my life is pretty good.

Of course, I understand that the reason is that when my husband changed.

In fact, I suspected that the person my husband was having an affair with was the same as me.I can tell a little bit, after all, we have known each other for many years and have a certain understanding of each other.

But I never opened my mouth to ask, why should I ask, the previous life was so bad, why not let it go completely, and why bother to bring up the old things again.

Later, I still stayed in the palace and became my queen, but this time, I had a different idea.

Why do women have to depend on men.

Women, why do you have to feel sorry for yourself.

In this world, besides love, there are too many things worth cherishing.Those precious family and friendship are more worthy of my dedication and nostalgia.

I have lived for so long, I should thank God, and naturally I should do something for this world.

So, I chose charity and relief. After that, half of my remaining life was spent learning what I didn't understand and what I didn't know, and the other half was reserved for charity and relief.

I also often invite that person's wife into the palace, and we accompany each other. In fact, I have always known this person. How should I put it, she has always been a woman who is both lucky and unlucky.

In the previous life, her husband undoubtedly loved her, but in this life, she told me that this marriage was just a transaction.

The two of us are companions, but we are no longer overly lonely.

I didn't say much about those, time went faster and faster, so fast that I couldn't believe it, I just watched them leave me one by one.

My husband went and I went from Queen to Queen Mother.

Later, that person also went, and before he died, I told that person that I would take his ashes away and bury him beside the person he wanted to be.

He was surprised and grateful.

At first, the emperor didn't quite agree, but later, he was gradually persuaded by me.

Before my husband died, I secretly asked him, did you love that man?

He smiled and said, why talk about love.

Indeed, love is too frivolous and superficial to afford their company and staying together over the years.

Of course, I think, it’s impossible not to love, right? If you don’t love, then why bother to entangle you for so many years, and don’t want to let go until you die.

Later, I was old, and I was almost unable to walk.It is said that women in the palace tend to live longer, and they often leave later than the emperor, which is true, after all, I live so well.

This time, my child was also sick.

That day, when I went to see him, he asked all the palace people to go down, and he asked me if he was wrong.

I didn't answer, and I knew he didn't need to.

He is the emperor, and the things he did a few days ago are just like that. Even if the ministers persuade or object, he will still insist on doing it.

I know, he doesn't want others to know those secrets.Even more, I don't want future generations to discover that secret from the history books.

Although, this secret has already been guessed by many people.

However, he wanted those two people to stay clean and clean in the history books, without slander or criticism.

After all, he respects and loves his teacher so much, and loves his father so deeply.

I have always known that this child actually has a deeper affection for his father, even though the father and son did not get along more.

But people like his father are always fascinating.

Of course, this is not love.

He told me again that he has no regrets, he asked the historian to edit and delete so many historical materials, and he personally destroyed the evidence that might allow people to discover the secret, he has no regrets, never regrets.

Also, there is nothing to regret.

In fact, we all know that for those two people, they don't care about those false names.

However, as their only remaining relatives, we just want to give them a better treatment that they deserve.

Instead of the so-called sycophants who become people's gossip and jokes.

Between them, there is no need for others to beak.

The author has something to say: Sorry, because the author really has no time to write, this article can only be concluded.

I'm really, really sorry, alas, I'm so sorry.But rest assured, I will come back. Of course, I will come back for the next book. In the next book, I will try my best to be a better author and write the stories I want to write.Of course, I also hope that I can improve and write articles that I am satisfied with and that everyone is satisfied with.Sorry again!This article has been written with bumps and bumps, and the state is not very good, but for me, it can be said to be a wonderful experience.Thank you to the readers who stayed until the end, I really appreciate it, because before I opened the third world, I always thought that my world would be a stand-alone, but I didn’t expect that some readers would accompany me all the time. As an author, really super grateful.Thank you also to all the readers, who gave me the courage to write this article and tried three times.If there is a chance, I should open a side story of this book in the future to finish writing the remaining two worlds that were originally set.

But this book really wants to say goodbye to everyone here.

Of course, I also hope to see you again next time.

ヾ(￣▽￣)Bye~

Explain why it ends...

Because the author really has no time to write the next world, the author has a very, very important exam to prepare for, and it takes a long time to prepare.

Forced by helplessness, I don’t want to make everyone wait anymore. I think it’s better to end it, because I may not write the new world for a long time, and it will be interrupted for a long, long time. When I come back and write again, not only the status will decline, but there should be no one. Remember this article, think twice and decide to end it.

Of course, I didn't finish it because of the lack of subscriptions.

When I come back next time, I will start a new article, as a side story of the current book, to bring this story to an end.

In this case, it is actually a good choice if you think about it carefully, which is equivalent to the upper and lower parts, (*^▽^*) the upper part is over, and the lower part is still being conceived and prepared. (ó﹏ò)

In fact, it’s over, and I also feel a sense of loss, as if raising a child, the child grows up and leaves his parents (*￣)￣)

Goodbye, it may take a long time to see you T﹏T