sick white moonlight

"You don't want to open the door to see me, do you?" Xiao Ziyu leaned against the door, facing the cold night wind, and said coldly.

His chest was hot, surging with unknown emotions.

He admits he came here on a whim to prove something.

He felt that the person should not see him, because the person should know something, although he didn't say it, but he knew that the person was watching.

However, there was a light click sound.

He moved his body, turned his head, and looked to the right.

The door was half opened, the man's footsteps were light, he was dressed in white, his soft and docile face was slightly tired, and he was looking at himself suspiciously.

Black hair shawl, eyebrows lightly frowned, white and black intertwined, it was so soul-stirring, suddenly, a gust of night wind blew, the man's loose clothes floated up, for a moment, Xiao Ziyu felt that this man seemed real To become a fairy, go with the wind.

He stretched out his hand, dazed, and finally took it back.

The cold wind subsided, he looked at the man's gentle and clean eyebrows, and fell into silence for a while.

This person is really suitable for wearing a white shirt. There is nothing wrong with pure white on his body, but it reveals this person's elegant and indifferent temperament.

He was so clean and flawless.

And myself, I am so dirty, with blood on my hands, and that is what the road to power must pass through.

Those clear eyes that could not see any impurities were looking at him, Xiao Ziyu suddenly realized that he was looking at himself, but, which self was he looking at?

Ah!The self who has never experienced anything, the self who has been taken care of by teachers and teachers along the way, accompanied by friends, and helped by friends, is so naive, thinking that with his persistence and hard work, he can get everything and achieve it. own ambitions.

He smiled coldly, even a little recklessly.

How is that possible, it was just a joke.

It's a joke that he was so stupid once.

However, the self who has gained such a status, fame and support is not as happy and happy as the young self who knows nothing.

What I get is always a touch of bitterness, and those inexplicable emotions deeply affect me.

The person in front of him didn't speak, and the corners of his lips still maintained a flat arc, and he couldn't see any dissatisfaction.

"Who are you looking at?" Xiao Ziyu asked.

He An looked at him, but did not reply to the person in front of him for a long time.

In the end, he raised his eyebrows, his eyes darkened, looking at the over-thinking, dejected scholar in front of him, who definitely didn't have the vigor of a young man of his age, he asked rhetorically.

"What do you say?"

Xiao Ziyu didn't answer, maybe he already had the answer, but he didn't want to admit it.

"Come in! It's windy at night, and it's very cold outside." After He An said this, he ignored him and walked straight into the room.

He walked briskly, as if he had been waiting for such a face-to-face conversation a long time ago.

The light was yellowish, illuminating the pale complexion of the two people, which also had the gentleness of ancient jade.

The two sat on the couch facing each other, looking at each other silently.

He An found an idle book, opened it, and said casually.

"What's the matter, you don't want to say it anymore."

"I had some wine." Xiao Ziyu turned his head away from him.

"It's more than a little bit. I can smell the alcohol on you from a long distance away." He An flipped through a book with clear white writing, lowered his head slightly and said.

"I feel good." Xiao Ziyu paused and said, "The feeling of being drunk can make me forget everything."

"Alcohol does not intoxicate people, but people intoxicate themselves." He An replied.

"Do you really want to laugh at me?" Xiao Ziyu asked suddenly, "Laughing at me is too crazy, too arrogant, too stupid, too whimsical."

After He An heard it, he raised his head and glanced at him, then suddenly turned his head and said.

"You can think whatever you want."

He caressed the books on the small square table on the couch with his fingers, and turned a page back.

The man suddenly stretched out a hand and grabbed his left hand holding the book.

"Do you remember that story I told you?"

"You and I don't both know each other clearly." He An pushed his hand away and just said.

This person is well-read and knowledgeable, and has an outstanding memory ability. Not to mention reciting the memorized poems and books, or other historical books and strategies that he usually dabbles in, he only says that this person remembers what he said, the people he has seen, and the places he has been. It's all clear, without any mistakes.

"But, he doesn't know." Xiao Ziyu stared at him and said meaningfully.

He An was taken aback suddenly, and smiled softly.

"He should know, you told him."

"I didn't tell him, I didn't tell him that there was once a scholar who foolishly entered the officialdom, and foolishly worked as a petty official for three years before he realized that the essence of this world is that people cannibalize people."

"Educating the people and benefiting the people are all fake. In the end, it's not for promotion and wealth, to support the younger generation, annex the land, and raise domestic slaves. It's not enough to be rich for a while."

Xiao Ziyu laughed again, with strong irony in his smile.

"It is best to pass on the torch from generation to generation, to keep wealth forever, to be aloof, and to be worshiped by others."

"This is the official, the scholar-bureaucrat. A group of people who look at themselves all the time, think about their status and treatment, and are afraid that everything they get will disappear."

After Xiao Ziyu finished speaking, he paused for a moment, and asked again, "They, as long as someone violates something that does not belong to them but is possessed by them, they will reveal their true colors, don't you think?"

"That scholar finally understood the truth of this time. He is also considered a smart person, and he quickly mastered the doorway here, and his reputation has remained the same as before. There is no mistake, and there is nothing wrong with it."

"Finally..." Xiao Ziyu sighed, "Everything is going in the direction he expected, without exception."

"Then he died." He An suddenly said.

"Haha!" Xiao Ziyu laughed wantonly, "You're right, he died, cleanly, for no apparent reason, even he didn't know why he died? "

"Do you think he is a joke, a big joke. He has been fighting for it all his life, and in the end, it's still useless."

"Everyone is mortal." He An said with a low eyebrow, "There should be no regrets."

"But he is not reconciled." Xiao Ziyu said solemnly, looking at the person in front of him who was lowering his body and looking at the books on the table.

"It's not reconciled that he died like that."

"People are always unwilling to do what they can, and that's enough." He An replied after being silent for a moment.

He was also unwilling, and when he was lost and hesitant, sometimes, he wished to go back to the past, to the moment when he was born, to forget everything, to forget everything he had experienced.

He only needs to treat what he loves and what he misses sincerely, without letting go, avoiding, hesitating, or choosing.Choice is really a great pain.

Sometimes, he wonders if there is an existence called fate, which is constantly pushing him forward, making him unable to break free, and can only move forward with difficulty, step by step, without seeing the end.

"Who do you say I am?" Xiao Ziyu asked again.

"It's hard to define." He An replied after hesitating for a moment.

"The first time I met you was not here, not on the mountain." Xiao Ziyu replied calmly.

"Of course." He An shook his head and said, "That's at the night market."

Xiao Lingyin, who was listening to the conversation between the two, was stunned, that he never told himself about it.

And the person in front of him is communicating with another self, or someone who is not himself at all but uses his own body. This person has never told himself that they have met before.

That's right, although it is the same body, it is not the same person.

It's no wonder that the painting made by this old ghost is missing one.

They kept a lot of things from themselves, when he and the old ghost couldn't see each other's things.

"Then on the mountain that day, why didn't you speak up?" Xiao Ziyu said solemnly.

"The flow of people in the night market is chaotic, and there are countless tourists. At first I thought you forgot, but later..."

"I don't think most of the people who have met you will forget." Xiao Ziyu said with a teasing smile, which was rare.

After a while, Xiao Ziyu asked again.

"You said, am I him? Am I the same person as him?"

"I am not sure."

"I want you to tell the truth." Xiao Ziyu asked.

"Yes, and no." He An hesitated, and then replied.

"You're still hiding it." Xiao Ziyu stayed on the bed, like a playful and mischievous child in the room, walking in circles, without stopping.

"Who do you say I am?" He kept asking as he walked.

Seeing He An, he first smiled and then fell silent.

After some lights, looking at that person's somewhat blurred, but still handsome face, and his extraordinary figure, he was in a trance, not knowing where he was.

He asked this question, much like himself before.

He still doesn't know who he is, he has lost the memory he once had, and now he has another part of the memory.

But in the end, he figured it out.

"You are you, not anyone else. You are the you that no one can change. Maybe, there is always only you. Your memory is just a part of your experience, and your nature is the root of your existence. .”

The person in front of him, he actually couldn't tell, who he was, did he come to his side on purpose, or what, he was mysterious, but it seemed that some karma could be found, but it was still unclear after all.

The only thing I know is that this person doesn't have those memories.

Perhaps, he did it on purpose.

For some reason, He An felt that there seemed to be some common points of existence between them again.

"You mean I'm him and he's me?"

Xiao Ziyu stopped and walked straight to He An, her tall body cast a black shadow on the small table.

"You know? He doesn't think he is me. He says I'm not him." Xiao Ziyu said, "Actually, I don't think he is me either. I'm not as stupid, stupid, or stupid as he is. Even, I I always want to know, does he really like you? Or, do I really like you?"

"You don't like me." He An didn't look at him, just flipped through his book, and said straightforwardly.

"I don't know." Xiao Ziyu suddenly lifted He An's face and said, "Look at me, look into my eyes."

At this time, He An really wanted to whip the person in front of him with a stick, this annoying bastard.

Well, still a naive ghost, it's just too annoying.

Hmph, I haven't finished reading his book yet.

But he didn't say anything, and he didn't have a chance to react, but the man leaned down and sealed his lips.

He kissed very gently, but also very young, even with a little trepidation and hesitation.

It's not at all like the self-confidence and stability they used to argue, even cold and decisive.