sick white moonlight

Fate: deep love, severe responsibility.The deeper the love, the greater the expectation of him.It's just that I didn't understand back then that hard work does not necessarily lead to good results. There are too many uncertain factors in this world.At that time, so many fans turned off fans and replied to him on his Weibo, "I'm disappointed in you, never see you again.", but I used to like him so much, but I just watched him.

Fate: I did not stand up and tell him that there are still many people in this world silently supporting him, hoping that he can present better works.

Fate: I was wrong. I was too involved and excited at the time. I was all about my devotion and love for him, but that person didn't care at all.So, I was sad and felt so hurt.But actually, it's not necessary.I now feel that what I can do is to support him silently and stand up to encourage him when he is down.

Jiang Wan looked at this reply and fell silent.

For a long time, she kept herself from thinking about it.

Although she has been out of the circle for a long time and rarely speaks, she will occasionally type out that name and go to that person's Weibo to browse.

When she saw the picture sent by her old friend in the middle of the night, she was also quite upset.She didn't even dare to tell others that she was crying silently when she was living in a rented house, lying in bed, and had to get up early tomorrow morning to take the subway to work.

The busyness at work, the occasional accidents at home, and the rising pressure of life gradually blurred this matter a lot.

In the end, Jiang Wan looked at the text she typed and put down the phone.

[Actually, we watched him silently and supporting him may be enough. 】

Those pasts, I don't want to bring them up again, because they have no chance to come back.

The future is too vague, and the only thing that can be grasped is the present.

For the rest, I won't say more, I just hope that he can go smoothly and safely for the rest of his life.

Perhaps, this is the best blessing.

……

"I'm affected by this body, aren't I?"

On the bed, He An asked System 007.

System 007 hesitated and hesitated for a while before answering.

"Yes, host."

He An looked at the dark blue curtains, drooping his eyes and saying nothing.

Recently, his mood is very strange. Compared with before, he is more impulsive, depressed, and falls into a sad mood.

At first he didn't care too much because it wasn't obvious, only now he realized it was intermittent.

When he is partially dissatisfied, the body seems to amplify this aspect of emotion, making him more uncomfortable, and therefore lost.

Although not very serious, it did affect his mood, mobility, and thinking ability.

Accepting a body, accepting his relationships, accepting his physical imperfections, has always been inevitable.

"Host, I thought it should be nothing. Because you have always been so calm, I thought this body would not have a great impact on you."

"It's my fault for ignoring its impact on you. I should have made it clear to you earlier."

After a while, He An seemed to come back to his senses, and said something lightly.

"fine."

The so-called truth is no longer important, the so-called past will be forgotten one day, and the current low pressure will eventually recover.Love will die eventually, what will be left behind, he doesn't know.

But he is very sure that he will still stick to himself and move towards his goal.

……

It was another night, Luo Shaohui, who was alone in an apartment where he often lived, turned on the high-definition thin and light TV in the living room.

It was past ten o'clock, almost at the time of the evening news.

He lay on the sofa, slowly closed his eyes, and listened to the news.

The voice of the host is still mellow and mellow, and he broadcasts the current current affairs meticulously.

The mobile phone on the coffee table was vibrating, he barely opened his eyes, glanced at the caller, took the mobile phone, and turned down the volume of the TV a lot by the way.

"elder brother."

Luo Shaohui connected the phone, and he heard his younger brother on the phone feeling a little depressed, his voice was not as high-spirited or angry as usual.

"Am I too ignorant?"

"You are so tired, and I always make trouble for you."

"What's wrong?" Luo Shaohui lowered his voice, feeling a bit tired, the long hours of efficient work during the day made him lack of energy at the moment.

"When I was a child, my father always told me that I should study hard and train myself well. I will be your right-hand man in the future and help you share some of the burden. But I never take it seriously. I only regard you as my biggest support."

"What happened, the first thing I thought of was not my father and mother, but you."

Luo Yixuan put the phone on his body, rested his hands on his head, and lay on the sofa, looking at the wind chime-shaped crystal lamp on the roof. Elegant and refined.

When he went out with Li Ke at that time, he saw that Li Ke liked it very much, so he bought it back and put it in the house where he lives now.

Once, they lived in this house for a long time.

A camel-colored thin woolen coat was creased a little, and his legs were slightly bent.

He opened his eyes, but there was only a bit of confusion and bewilderment in his dark eyes.

He hasn't called his brother for a long time. He remembers that when he was very young, his brother took him out to play, and they were so close at that time.The parents are busy with work, and the nanny is often watching them, but the two brothers are noisy, and the other is tolerant and easy-going, so they are not so lonely together.

When he was young, he was very active, crying, and noisy. If the nanny didn't pay attention, he would always get bumps and bumps. Parents and elders always said that he was a carefree person.My elder brother seems to be a little adult, calm and steady since he was a child. The elders say that he will be a person who will do great things in the future, with a stable heart and no panic when things happen.The fact is indeed as the elders said, when I was still thinking about playing around, my brother who was much older than him had already become a child praised by the elders.

And even if I reached my elder brother's age, I was still under the care of my elder parents.

In the eyes of my parents, I never grew up.

How much he envied and worshiped his elder brother at that time, and talked to his elder brother about everything.

It's just that as his brother grew up, he and his brother seemed to be no longer as close and familiar as before.

When did it start, maybe after my brother returned to China, the contact between the two has decreased a lot.

"I remember when I first discovered my sexual orientation and found out that I might like boys. I first called you in country M."

"Thinking about it now, what I did was quite wrong. You should have been in the middle of the night at that time. I remember that my mother told me a few days ago that you were very busy with your studies at that time because you were taking a double degree."

Luo Shaohui sat on the sofa with his back straight, holding the thin and cold fuselage in his hand, still silent.

How could he not remember that at that time, he was alone in a foreign country, and he had a lot of discomforts. The foreign courses were difficult and difficult, and he chose an extra major. He was often busy until late at night, and often lacked sleep.

He had fallen asleep that night when the phone ringing woke him up.

Get up tiredly, pick up the phone on the desk, and take it.

He was a little surprised when the hoarse voice of his brother who was much younger than him came from the phone, but he was not overly surprised.

The young brother has never been as stingy in expressing emotions as he is, crying when he should cry, laughing when he should laugh, and he is always so enviable.

Even though I'm getting older, I'm no longer the little cry that my parents used to tease, and I'm occasionally emotional, and it's not like I won't shed a few tears when I feel uncomfortable.

[Brother, what should we do? 】

[I don't seem to like girls. 】

It seemed to be a little broken, and there was only crying after saying these two sentences.

The sound of panting and sobbing was so clear, until now, Luo Shaohui still remembers it deeply.

In the middle of the night, he first listened to his younger brother's constant crying, and later explained to him, comforting him, talking for a long, long time.

"Later, I..."

The younger brother paused for a moment, then spoke.

"Like him."

"At that time, the only person I wanted to tell was you." The younger brother's disappointed voice came from the other end of the phone.

"I like it", Luo Shaohui pursed his lips, just listening silently.

In fact, he remembered very clearly that what his younger brother said at the time was "I fell in love with him.".

Does his younger brother dare not say "love" easily now?

Or he has forgotten what he said all the time, he tends to make his younger brother no longer so rash.

……

After hanging up the phone, I looked at the time in my hand, it was eleven o'clock.

Holding the mobile phone in his hand, he pressed a number key by key.

Luo Shaohui looked at the connected phone and asked.

"Are you feeling better?"

There was no answer, and about 30 seconds later, Luo Shaohui heard a faint reply.

"much better."

"That's good." Luo Shaohui replied quickly, and he was relieved after hearing this voice.

"I thought you were already asleep, and I was afraid to disturb you. But after thinking about it, it's been a few days, so I'd better call and ask."

"Actually, it's not necessary, Mr. Luo. I'm grateful for the opportunity you gave me before, but I don't think there's any need to go further with some things."

"Did I take a step further? You are too sensitive." Luo Shaohui replied in a low voice.

"I think, yes."

"Everyone needs friends. Living in this world, if there is no one to talk to, what a shame..." Luo Shaohui stopped suddenly, not knowing how to continue.

He had never confided his thoughts on his friends to a single person like this.

He has many friends, friends from business exchanges and cooperation, alumni from college, and friends from childhood because of family factors.

But these friends are separated by a thick layer of film, and the depression in their hearts is naturally unspeakable.

"I consider you a friend of mine now."

"I don't expect you to accept what I said last time. It was too difficult, I know very well."

"Think of me as a friend who cares about you! Don't think too much, don't worry too much."

"You also need friends. Some things are inconvenient to tell others. You can call and tell me."

"Friend, Mr. Luo, you're joking." He An lay on the bed, his low voice came out of his throat with some difficulty.

"Am I not qualified to be your friend?" Luo Shaohui followed up and asked.

"In the eyes of outsiders, it should be that I am not qualified."

"Besides, you know very well. A friend might just be..."

The person on the phone stopped talking slowly, as if he was thinking about what to say next.

But until the end, still did not say the next word.

Some things are well known, and it is useless to say more.