[Comprehensive Manga] Live with a smile

"Sister Xi Ji, I think I need to talk to you."

The servant had just opened the door, and Xi Ji heard this sentence before he had time to change his shoes.

The words "I want to talk to you" were simply a curse, and Xi Ji quickly recalled the bad things he had done recently.

She still remembers that when Seijuro said this to her half a month ago, he revealed all the bad things she did in the past month or so, and was full of worries about Xi Ji's grades, and discussed some progress. learning problem.

But she hasn't done anything bad recently, has she?Is it almost murder in Ikebukuro today?Ah, I absolutely can't say this, and I will definitely be asked about it again.By the way, can she put the box away first?It's unnerving to hold that skull box...

When Yuki sat down on the sofa with an obedient face, Seijuro looked at the box in Yuki's hand strangely, and took out a cardboard box from the side.

What's the matter, enjoy the box conference?

"Is it time to unwrap the presents now? How well do you know each other and bring early birthday presents?" Xi Ji patted the box in his hand suspiciously, thinking that there might be a big brother behind him, and couldn't help but turn pale.

Ignoring his sister's trickery, Seijuro opened his box with a serious face.

Just when Xi Ji was thinking about whether to cooperate and open the box, he was taken aback when he saw what he took out.Then he immediately got up and ran back to his room, put down the box that got in the way, knelt on the ground and started digging through his trash can.

Empty, of course it is.

When Xi Ji walked downstairs, her brows were also frowned.She had a hunch that the conversation that followed might not be very pleasant.

"Do you know what this is?" Seeing her coming back, Seijuro asked, pointing to something on the table.

"...I know, rolls of toilet paper, it's normal for girls to have them in every room." Xi Ji smiled self-mockingly.

Seijuro still didn't pick up the topic, he directly opened the paper ball with a faint red surface.It was a paper towel stained with blood, and the white side was carefully wrapped outside.

Then, he took out a fruit knife from the box and put it on the table.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?"

Xi Ji closed her eyes with dripping cold sweat, still struggling to say: "I'm already 14 years old, it's normal for girls to have this kind of situation. Isn't it good for you, Ah Zheng, to casually rummage through girls' trash cans?"

"First of all, I found this in the trash can in your bedroom. Secondly..." Seijuro looked at Xi Ji with some doubts and some shock: "You know your own physical condition best. I asked the cleaners, they They say they've never seen you in that situation."

Ah, Ah Zheng is indeed that kind of gentleman, and he didn't say it clearly in this situation.

Inwardly bragging about her younger brother, Xi Ji scratched the back of her head, thinking that half a year would indeed be a bit of a concern, so she said helplessly, "Well, I admit that I haven't even had my period yet. But this kind of Do things have to be forced?"

"Then what are these balls of paper?" As he said, he poured out a large pile of the same white balls of paper from the box.

To be honest, if he didn't know that his younger brother was talking to him very seriously, Xi Ji would feel that this behavior was a little abnormal.

"...Well, what do you think?"

Sensing that Xi Ji had been evading the problem, Seijuro sighed while holding his forehead. He lowered his head and looked at the palms of his hands and did not look at Xi Ji, and said slowly: "I know that we have only been a family member for half a year after all, and I don't care. I know what you have experienced in the six years since you left the Akashi family. But at least we are family now, and I hope you can trust me a little more."

Xi Ji sighed, it seemed that he couldn't hide.

"Let's talk in my room."

"I seem to have something emotionally wrong recently."

Starting with this sentence, Xi Ji briefly mentioned his mental journey since the battle of the group.

Suffering from his own weakness, afraid of not being able to protect others, but unable to do anything about such a powerless self, even the desire to become stronger feels unrealistic.Then, the two most important friends suddenly lost contact, and the person she could rely on disappeared, leaving her completely at a loss as to what to do.

Fortunately, she met Natsume again during that time.At that time, she really felt that she had nothing left, and she just wanted to grab the life-saving straw that had saved her. In the end, she had an oolong, and she sentenced herself to death for a love affair.

Then comes the present, which seems to have everything, but actually has nothing.

"Then that's why you chose to escape and rely on your resilience to do this kind of thing?" Hearing all the way, Seijuro's brows never loosened, and his brain kept running rapidly.

Xi Ji looked at the fruit knife and sighed helplessly, and said: "Many times, negative emotions cannot be stopped, and I regret it when I calm down, and feel that it is wrong. But really only the pain can remind me How weak, warning me not to indulge in this peaceful daily happiness, I'm not as strong as I think, I'm just one of many."

Does it hurt?It hurts, but it doesn't feel real without it.It is because of this pain that I can feel my own existence more deeply.

Wounds appear quickly, and recovery is equally fast.Anyway, no one will find out that as long as you wear a long-sleeved dress, you can even go out when the wound is still not healed.If it doesn’t work, it will be deliberately injured the day before, and when I go home alone, I will deliberately increase the wound, and then wrap it with a bandage honestly.

Xi Ji thought that this might be the reason why she became more and more unhappy with Dazai later on.

The guy talked about wanting to die, but never actually carried it out.Xi Ji herself never wanted to die, but she took the initiative to do it every day, and now she couldn't even control her emotions.

The thing about her self-harm is a fact, and the thing about her suicide is also a fact.

Seijuro, who knew this, pressed his forehead with some discomfort, and asked again: "Most mental illnesses are caused by the people concerned, but what about you? You said you want to be a doctor in the future, why don't you want to say it?"

"I want to be a forensic doctor in the future. And my problem is quite special, you might not believe me if I tell you." When mentioning this, Xi Ji bit her lower lip, not wanting to continue.

"...We are family, right?"

"……Fine."

In order to explain better, and by the way, I don't want to have Big Skull next to me to listen, Xi Ji stood up and pulled out a safe from under the bed, took out a few test tubes from it, put the box in and closed it, and arranged the safe again. An illusion to prevent outsiders from eavesdropping.By the way, I secretly sighed in my heart that the blood of pure blood is really different, it is still in liquid state after half a year, and it looks extremely fresh.

After drinking the blood in the test tube and carefully feeling the power in the blood, Xi Ji stuck out his tongue, disgusted by the taste of the blood, and said, "You should have seen this at Vengley's place last time. I never From a pure-blooded vampire, the most noble kind, I can extract power from the blood of non-human creatures or people with special powers."

He didn't speak, waiting for Xi Ji's explanation.

"Before that, let me explain to you the problem of menarche." She also did not expect that one day she would discuss this kind of biological problem with her adolescent brother, "I am not a human being in the standard sense. The organ structure is the same as that of ordinary humans, but this is only based on the fact that I was once human."

Seijuro was a little surprised, but also somewhat expected, nodded to indicate to continue.

Xi Ji snapped his fingers, and used illusion to transform his arm into the appearance of the last Shibusawa incident, saying: "In a broad sense, I am now a corpse that has been dead for many years. How can a dead person's DNA be Will it spread through normal channels? So although I grew up with it, I am actually not fertile."

This is also the main reason why she didn't think that anyone might like her so far.

Her expectations for the future are only her own career and protecting the Akashi family, and she has never considered the issues of marriage and children.She originally thought that she would be alone for the rest of her life, and she only expressed kindness to the people she liked, and never dared to go further, because she didn't believe that such a self could go on with anyone.

So what happened to Heizi really gave Xi Ji a great mental shock.

The amount of information in this passage is a bit large, Seijuro hesitated and doubted, and held back for a while before asking: "Then when did you... die?"

Xi Ji released the illusion on her arm, closed her eyes tightly and then opened them a little bit, a pair of terrifying blood-red vertical pupils suddenly appeared, she pointed to the hot eyes and said: "It's been a long time ago. But when I died, I got I am alive because of my special ability. In other words, if I encounter someone who can extract or invalidate my ability, I will die again."

Well, she has encountered Dazai many times, it seems that it is not good.His disqualification in the world can only be applied to the abilities that need to be effective, and he cannot eliminate the abilities of his own body like Yuki and Kenji.

Speaking of this, I began to feel sorry for the silly snake's performance when Shibusawa made trouble last time.

Even if it's annoying, the silly snake also likes her to do this, this unbelievable little silly snake...

"But that's not the main reason for your illness, is it?" Seijuro calmly sorted out a thought even though the amount of information was huge and obviously violated his worldview.

"Uh, I just lost the fight before." Xi Ji said with a smile, recalling the last time with some embarrassment, "The last time I was blessed with the blood of a vampire, I felt that I could live every day, but I was beaten People rubbing against the ground frantically, if the self-esteem is too high, the more miserable the loss, the more unacceptable it will be in my heart."

Seijuro didn't answer, but just stared at Yuki's usual smile at this time, feeling a little unnatural.

"But I didn't expect you, Ah Zheng, to notice it so soon. I thought it was well hidden." Calculating the time, it will be more than a month, which is a bit scary.Thinking about what was there, Xi Ji sat cross-legged with a smile on her face, and said that she was not as free and easy as she said, "How, after listening to this, do you know more about your lovely sister? Or do you want to take her with you?" Am I going to get medical treatment?"

If possible, I really don't want to...

Even after nearly a year, Xi Ji still remembered the consequences of asking a psychiatrist for consultation in Bingsheng.Gouging out the eyes with bare hands and bleeding to death sounds like trembling with pain.

"I don't force you to see a doctor, but you still have to take the medicine you should take. And..." Seijuro rubbed his chin with some hesitation, he glanced at Yuki and said: "Don't take it just because of your own condition." Beat everyone to death, there are many people who like you in the world."

"Ahem, huh?" This topic was too sudden, and Xi Ji coughed twice in fright, and said in surprise: "I have family and friends who like it. Lovers are not necessities of life, and they must be considered." It is too early?"

Seijuro frowned, looked at the worried elder sister with a question mark on her head, and sighed.

"To be honest, you should be more considerate to the people around you."

Xi Ji:? ? ?

Why let her grow up again?Shouldn't she be growing mushrooms if she's dead?

Because of the skull, Xi Ji didn't dare to sleep today. She always felt that Ryuhiko Shibusawa, whom she had never seen before, might bring the iron horse Glacier to sleep.

She wandered around in her bedroom for a while, regretting why she didn't ask Natori if she had any tips on seeing ghosts on Monday, and now she got goosebumps at the thought of someone standing there invisible.

What does this feel like...

Ah, like when Heizi is around!

There was really no other way, Xi Ji took out the box from the safe, and put the rest of the test tubes in it.

After removing the fancy decorations and opening the box, she carefully lifted the skull out, with a tangled expression, and tried to put spiritual power into the skull to test it out.

The groove on the skull's forehead where the red power crystal was originally placed seemed to be shining red again, but it disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Well, it seems that she is really not good at mental illusion.

Giving up thinking about this question, Xi Ji stuffed the skull into the box and threw it into the toilet.How about this, go to Ikebukuro tomorrow and give this skull to Celti, hasn't she always wanted her head back?Although it's just a skull and it belongs to a man, it shouldn't matter to the Headless Horseman, right?

Because of a sudden interest, he drank blood in front of his younger brother, and now Xi Ji ushered in a day that he didn't have to die for a long time.

Lying on the bed and falling asleep, in the dream she was stepping on the white sand and sitting on the bed that had a special meaning to her.

Xi Ji couldn't explain why he didn't recycle today.

As long as you go to Yahara to save Natsume before going to Ikebukuro, she will not go berserk later, and everyone will forget her crazy and bad side.

But Xi Ji didn't want to do that, wouldn't it be the same as cheating?If someone really died by Xi Ji's hands, she would definitely return to rescue them.only this time...

Don't those chicken soup for the soul in the book always say, 'You only have one life, please live it for yourself'?

Xi Ji also hopes that she can only live once and not have to worry about so many bad things.

With her coming to Tokyo, various changes have taken place in her life, and there are more and more people close to her, and she is less and less afraid to recycle casually.What if I am not careful, and the important fetters are lost in the cycle?What if I can't synchronize with everyone's memory?

The more she interacts with people, the more she can't use this ability, and even some people who haven't seen her for a long time feel the fear of reincarnation.That sense of dread that everyone is in time, but she herself is cut off.

Don't dare to cycle.Even if she made things smelly and bad, she didn't dare to recycle.

After covering the quilt, and listening to the sound of the waves beside her ears, Xi Ji touched the little black snake beside her who was looking at her worriedly, signaling not to worry too much, then closed her eyes, and fell asleep in a dream after a long absence.

This time she didn't have a dream, just like what most people often encounter when they fall asleep, she didn't dream of anything, just to soothe her tired spirit.

In a trance, she seemed to feel someone beside the bed.

The man ran over in a hurry, looked at her sleeping in surprise, and seemed to ask the little black snake again, then turned and left again.

Xi Ji didn't open her eyes to look, but she felt that she knew who it was.

That must be someone she trusts so much...

The author has something to say: Since the next day will definitely enter the future, the last paragraph is still May 5th.Remind everyone again that the date of the title is Xi Ji’s own date, including the number of days of her cycle, which is nearly four years more than the actual real date. The real timeline is now the beginning of August.

Misjudgment, there are still about three chapters before it officially arrives in the future.

He explained the main reason why Xia Xiji was so dull: she didn't think she would be a partner with anyone, so she didn't think that many good intentions were expressed to herself, and the matter of Heizi really enlightened her.

I feel that what I wrote is not about smiling depression, which is a bit off topic.If you have a mental illness problem, remember to see a doctor. Xi Ji must not be used as a reference!

-1, thanks to the cute "Chuan Gibai" and "╰﹀奀嫃湜湜湜杀~??" (Let's change the name again (sorrowful) mines, currently there are 7 left.

Not sure if it can be updated at noon tomorrow.