[football] this god

Extra

'Messi Ronaldo came out today'

The BBC headlines updated the news, angrily crowding out all other social and entertainment news, and the number of hits exceeded [-] in an instant.

There was an explosion on reddit.

'impossible. 'A Real Madrid fan expresses his attitude so simply.

'Nothing is impossible,' said Adi. '

'JUSTDOIT,' said Nike. '

'So today all the fans who have fought and scolded the street with real emotion are losers, and the biggest winners are the big capitalists Adi and Nike who have been frantically brushed with a wave of advertising slogans here today, right? '

'Moneyalwayswin.zqsgalwaysemmmm... - I said it. '

In reality, Adinike is not so Buddhist-of course, other relevant people in reality are not so Buddhist either.

"I personally think," the Adidas representative looked at the Nike representative sitting across from him, pretending to be calm, "if they are going to have a reality show, I will ask that Adidas products be placed in the middle of the shoe cabinet, and both sides Wear clothes with the Adidas logo on it—it’s okay to not wear them, but at least you can’t wear competing products. Not being able to wear competing products is the bottom line.”

"Nike and Cristiano have cooperated for so many years. He used to wear Nike when he participated in activities and interviews, and he made sure to put Nike shoes in the middle of the shoe cabinet." The Nike representative showed his standard commercial smirk, "But There is a saying that is true, you can’t wear competing products, this is the bottom line.”

Mendez sat next to the two and sighed.

Maybe Mendez sighed too loudly, so the eyes of both sides were attracted - they looked at Mendez sitting on a sofa next to them, and after half a minute, they suddenly said in unison: "The door Mr. Des, I think you are sitting about five centimeters closer to the Adidas/Nike representative than I am, so I think your behavior is very inappropriate and unfair to both of us. This represents you emotional tendencies.”

Mendes felt more headaches and hated those two idiots who left him here to send their kids to school.

At the same time, another negotiation is in full swing.

"Why is Maradona not online? Has he given up ownership?" Jazz asked the old Mr. Messi who was online in Spanish, which is not very proficient, "Figo is here!"

"I'm here too, please look clearly." Old Mr. Aveiro emphasized sullenly.

"I contacted Maradona, but he insisted that Leo's social account was stolen. He said that he never believed that Leo would fall in love with the Portuguese brat. He thinks that Ronaldo is undoubtedly ugly, good-looking Very magical, not very good at playing football, naive and ridiculous, not worthy of trust." Mr. Messi said, "Barcelona's Puyol and Xavi are also-but they still sent the respected Mr. Iniesta Join this video conference."

"I don't think Mr. Maradona said that. You added the devilish part." Jazz didn't think his children had any flaws—except for the part about finding a boyfriend.

"Uh... Anyway," Iniesta said cautiously, "Carls and Harvey don't really believe that Leo would like Ronaldo, but they suggested that if this is true, Barcelona must have as many guests as possible at the wedding banquet, more than Manchester United, Real Madrid and Juventus combined - but they allowed Gerrard to be removed."

"Who?" Figo asked politely.

"Pique, Barcelona's gossip incompetent, unreliable pig's trotters - I didn't mean to mention pigs in front of you, Mr. Figo, I just conveyed Xavi's words truthfully." Iniesta apologized smile.

Figo curled his lips unattractively.

"That's impossible," Allegri said politely. "The Juventus youth team was so passionate that they demanded to witness the wedding of the century."

"You guys from Juventus can start an online live broadcast." Jazz said dryly, "So why are you looking for people from Juventus to participate in the seat allocation?"

"Courteous," said old Mr. Macy sullenly.

"But then again, as a representative of Portugal, I have to ask, why was there no representative from Sporting Lisbon?"

"There are too many people," Argentine representative Aguero said. "Didn't you see that the Argentine clubs have not been able to send representatives?"

"But why can you be the representative of Argentina? The only one who can represent Argentina to share seats with us is Maradona!" Jazz tried to squeeze out Aguero and vacate Argentina's seat share for Manchester United, "You should go offline Mr Aguero."

Aguero pretended not to understand Jazz.

"Young people nowadays are becoming more and more unruly, and the elders pretend not to hear them." Figo rarely stood on the Jazz's side-because he also fantasized about reducing the number of seats in Argentina and leaving more seats for Portugal Children of the national team.

"Andres, we can be regarded as a family, we are all Leo's family, you have to help me." Aguero urgently asked for on-field assistance, "And you, old Mr. Messi, I am in O's best friend, Leo and I are incomparable friends. We were teammates who helped each other when we were in the Argentine national youth, and we hit it off right away!"

"Then why aren't we discussing your wedding with Leo right now?"

Xavi suddenly emerged from behind Iniesta and gave Aguero a knowing blow.

The rest of the representatives slapped the table and shouted in unison: "Foul foul! Barcelona actually sent two representatives! Reduce ten seats!"

Xavi is stared out of the screen by Iniesta.

"I don't think Argentina needs so many seats, so it's better to allocate ten seats to Barcelona-after all, there are some Argentine players in the Barcelona team, and they can be counted as double burdens." Iniesta tried to save the situation.

Allegri's inspiration was lit up, "It makes sense, then the Argentine national team can also give us a few seats, because there are also Argentines in the Juventus team."

"But I'm representing the Argentine national team!" Aguero tried to protest, "Also forget about Barcelona, ​​Juventus is on Ronaldo's side, why should they divide the seat on Rio's side! Protested!"

The rest ignored Aguero and continued to fight for seats in his delegation.

"But at least I have to be Leo's best man!" Aguero had an idea and suddenly changed the subject.

There was a sudden silence from the other representatives, and then they stared at each other online for 10 minutes before a bloody fight over 'whose representative can be Messi/Ronaldo's best man team'.

Taking advantage of this opportunity, Aguero quickly operated in the dark, booked [-] special seats for the Argentine national team with Leo, and prepared to use it when Maradona decided to face the tragic facts.

Today's Aguero, a complete victory.

The author has something to say: [Interviews with insiders after coming out of the closet]

The Onion Daily, Pique and Ryan Giggs gathered together.

A banner was pulled behind: A meeting of unreliable gossip trotters

"I have been complained about canceling my account, and I have been complained thousands of times. Facebook headquarters personally called me and asked me to pay attention to my morals and be more disciplined." Onion Daily opened the prelude to the tragic event with a sentence.

"Even Andres scolded me as a useless stupid guy. You know, Andres never scolds people." Pique complained with tears.

Mr. Giggs was silent, pointing to his handsome face with bruised nose and swollen face.

"But I really couldn't think of it. I wrote it like this because I thought it was impossible! Who knew it was true this time! This is unrealistic! I can't believe it! They really don't know each other at all! Could it be A matchmaker for Mendes? No! I don’t believe it! Why did Messi fall in love with Ronaldo? Why did Ronaldo fall in love with Messi? What kind of beautiful girl or handsome boy do they want? They have so much money , even if you want to make a fool of yourself!" The representative of Onion Daily was agitated.

"Isn't it! Even if the two of them like to play football, why didn't Leo choose Aguero? Why didn't he choose Mascherano? Even, even choose Mr. Guardiola! You must know that Mr. Guardiola is I like him very much! It's really not Maradona..."

"Farewell then." The representative of Onion Daily politely asked Pique to shut up.

Mr. Giggs stroked his handsome face with bruised nose and swollen face, secretly sad.

"I have thought about a hundred and a thousand possibilities, I have gathered thousands of gossips, and 99.99% of the news in my gossip life is right, but only this time! My Waterloo! I am the extraordinary Yingwei But he was tricked by his own people into a sloppy Napoleon!" Pique burst into tears.

"But you have to say something, Mr. Giggs. After all, you are the originator of unreliable gossips." Onion Daily Cue Giggs.

Giggs burst into tears for a moment, touched his face and said nothing.

"He was beaten up by Kean Ferdinand Neville and the others, and now he can't speak, let me speak for him." Pique, as a former teammate, took pity on his big brother, "He is probably the only one who has witnessed two A real person on the dating scene, but he is limited by his own vision, he thinks Ronaldo is straight, so even if he feels that the person sitting next to him has strong masculine features, he still believes that it is a girl-although I admit those Leo's haircut in [-] was a little deceptive, but apart from him, I still haven't seen anyone mistake Leo for a girl, especially when you can see his profile."

"Anyway, it's impossible for Leo's figure to be a woman?! Has your rich life experience taught you to be blind?" Pique became more and more emotional as he spoke, "And when you see Leo again I think he looks familiar, but I still don’t notice it at all. Did you already have dementia when you were 30 years old? Maradona always said that Aguero was disabled and strong, but I think you are!”

As Pique said, he danced so excitedly that he wanted to beat up Giggs.

But Giggs refused to be beaten by the little brother, so he also stood up and rolled up his arms and sleeves.

Mr. Onion Daily’s skinny representative hurried over to stand between the two of them, “Forget it, forget it, bosses, forget it.”

After some pointless accusations and attacks, the three sat down again.

"They actually hid it so deeply!" Onion Daily lamented.

"It's not very deep!" Pique said heavily, "The future is long, the Phantom of the Wardrobe, special people, just think about the grass snake gray line."

"There are foreshadowings everywhere in life." Onion Daily continued to sigh.

"But we're not the worst." Pique suddenly smiled—the Onion Daily thought he was crazy.

But in the next second, the Onion Daily and Giggs burst into laughter after listening to the second half of Pique's sentence.

"Kars also scolded Harvey that day, what kind of shocking news do you think he revealed?"

"Puyol said Xavi had said he wanted to thank Leo's partner and even offered to call her the little queen of the Camp Nou and kiss her feet."

"So did he kiss?" Giggs insisted on asking this question even if his nose was bruised and his face was swollen.

"No, Harvey said he would defend Camp Nou with a sledgehammer. If that bastard Ronaldo dared to step into Camp Nou, he would smash his dog's head."

[When Maradona learned of coming out]

Tyrannosaurus Rex sat slumped on the sofa, staring blankly at the picture on the TV.

He stared blankly at the picture of Leo and Cristiano taking their children shopping together, which was secretly photographed by the media.

He had been trying his best to deny it before, and he believed that the social accounts of the two were stolen, so he came out of the closet.

Even though everyone told him it was true, he kept denying it.

Until today, everything was in front of him.

Giannina thought back to the days when her father had tried to match herself and those two idiots.

Don't mention how happy I am.

But Giannina still intends to comfort Maradona a little bit.

But she didn't have time to speak.

"So it wasn't me that 'special person' Leo talked about in Zurich?"

"So he's been hooking up with the little Portuguese brat behind my back for so long?"

"He actually did such a thing!"

"When you wanted to match me and Ronaldo, he was your heir, but now he has become a little bastard?"

"Aren't you a little too real..."

Giannina complained like this.

Maradona buried his face in his hands and made a sound similar to a sob.

Giannina patted her father's walled shoulder sympathetically.

Then Maradona suddenly looked up.

Giannina nearly fell off the couch in terror.

10

"Let's put it this way."

"Can Leo's son and the kid from the Portuguese bastard's family be classified as Argentine citizens?"

"Giannina! Get out of the way! I'm calling the President!"

"Don't let the Portuguese take the lead! That bastard Figo in Portugal must be thinking of a way!"

+1

at the same time.

"Where is the president! I want to get through to the president! I sweated for Portugal! I brought up my son for Portugal!"

Figo yelled at the presidential secretary on the phone.

"It will be too late if we don't do anything! The Tyrannosaurus Rex must be thinking of a way!"

"There must be a policy!"

"The sons of Portuguese same-sex couples should also be included in the scope of naturalization!"

"It doesn't matter whether he wants to play football or not! The important thing is that if he wants to play football in the future and has talent, he can't let the old Tyrannosaurus rex take advantage of him!"

【Come out butcher meme】

》》【News】Messi and Ronaldo announced their 18-year relationship on social networking site today

#1Shekjengskpwngwisngzpnwwgozbgeisbvsixbevusbeuosbagoabxgshzjbdhzkbzshvgjvidsviocsdbovsxnidcjreckuedbodcbidsvkudjotcnudsbodgktsvjiewcjisgkudvkdadvodafbiusckusktsbuesh

#2

……

From the garbled code of the landlord, I feel your collapse

me too

#3

ssihdhelnbaoigableaiwbbioahwanlghbwnljwohfbagbhkdoddjcuhsocjklshckulxjsks

#4

shienhldoiibnheanhblsujguklosjdunjdsidnemgjbhnekcjmkosaohlahwibvuiwonhjvbianwbohuebvownciow

#5

Compensation for me who slumped on the sofa for 5 minutes and then cried

#6

Brainstorming a homepage of Onion Daily that was complained about jumping off a building

#7

Onion Daily, so hot that I shed tears

#8

Sheiebgeoskbxgejbgsosbgekzobdvehjbkzbgepsbzlzhiebelxvejzkoxvc

#9

Another crazy one...

#10

I do not understand

I do not understand

I do not understand

I do not understand

What's so good about Ronaldo? ? ? ?Laughing like a cracked earthen jar is terrible!

#11

So the Phantom Stone Hammer in the wardrobe in Macy's house back then?

#12

Ronaldo's long-term future has also been solved

#13

Does anyone have a little yellow text?The Phantom of the Wardrobe

#14

Guide AO3

But the closet play seems to have not come out yet

remember to call me

#15

The Phantom of the Wardrobe No

But there is bathroom play

#16

Bathroom, toilet in Zurich, text messages from Xiao Huangwen under the podium, daily video play

Poke me to send the link

#17

Sorry

What is the text message of Xiao Huangwen under the podium in Zurich?

Send it out for everyone to enjoy

#18

Didn't Camp Nou/Bernaeu toilets go off?

#19

You may not believe it

But even Old Trafford has misfired

#20

Do you want to see Scottish wedding terriers?

#21

Can it be purer?Is there any play where Ronaldo is jealous because of KUN?

#22KUN

What did you say upstairs!Can you say that again!

Whoever eats whose vinegar! !

What is my relationship with Leo!

Is he able to step in!

Back then, Rio hung up on Ronaldo for me!

#23

Another crazy one on the 21st floor

Anyway, I still think this jealousy is quite convincing.

#24

There is also a jealous play link!Poke me to take it!

-

"Is this plausible?" Aguero held up his mobile phone and pointed it directly in front of Leo and questioned him, "Leo, tell me, do you think Ronaldo can get involved in our relationship? Some people even made it up about Ronaldo Jealousy and what to do with you in the car - did these people consider my feelings? You hung up on Ronaldo for me!"

Aguero looked like he was about to cry.

Lying on the recliner, Leo glanced at Cristiano, who was squatting with the children on the beach not far away to build a sand castle, with an embarrassed smile on his face, "It's true that he's not in the car."

The tears that Aguero was about to shed suddenly hung in the air, and he felt that there was something wrong with this sentence.

Leo quickly put on his big sunglasses, not daring to look at Aguero who looked at him in panic.

===============

【Come out letter】【The year is blurred! 】【I'm scared of all the PhDs in the Department of Mathematics! 】【Which passage in the last time actually figured out that I will let Leo retire in 18 years...】【Let me cry again! 】

Cristiano and Leo's coming out announcements are identical except for the first sentence, "I have been in love with XXX for more than ten years." In this sentence, XXX is the name of the other party, which is different, and everything in the rest of the full text is exactly the same.

as follows.

Over the years we have kept the truth from everyone, but today it is no longer necessary, so we have decided to give each other and everyone an account, a truth.

When we met, one sixteen and one eighteen were just young people who had just entered the top league and had not been a stable main force. During that time, we were busy proving ourselves, and we were learning to be adults and studying Let other people recognize our growth. Looking back now, that period of time seems ordinary and worthless. Some people may even think that it is a gray stroke in our legend, but we have benefited a lot.

There is no past and no future. After all, there is no story of success and failure in the world.

However, when we finally smashed our prejudices and entered the world of adults, what greeted us was not tenderness and happiness.

On the contrary, our world has become colder and harder than ever before.

There is an old saying in the East that is used to describe the tenderness and happiness between lovers, which is called being in love with each other.

But we are not like that.

Being in love with each other means living together, but we want each other to be defeated.

There is no pity, no sympathy, and there can be no pity, no sympathy, there are only losers and winners between us.

We have loved each other, alienated each other, and even at some point we thought about leaving each other.

But now that it's all over, after the dust has settled, we just want to spend the rest of our lives with each other.So together we have made this decision to announce our relationship today.

We used to be separated from each other and looked at each other from afar, but in the future we only want to depend on each other for life and love each other.

[Senior group 'Heal the wounded heart support group after coming out']

Mr. Maradona, the team leader, and Sir Alex Ferguson, the honorary chairman, held the first general meeting.

In order to join in the event, Mr. Mendez generously booked an island.

The president of the Argentine Football Federation took the last few dollars from under the insoles and sponsored the conference to buy a box of beef.

As a result, Maradona still scolded the Argentine Football Association on the grounds of 'disgrace me and Rio'.

And pressed that poor box of beef directly on the face of the president of the Argentine Football Association.

After all, he saw Figo come to the meeting with five large boxes of meat, ten boxes of beer and several large boxes of vegetables and fruits sponsored by the Portuguese Football Association.

"I knew it very early." Mr. Mendes told his family history of suffering while turning the meat and brushing the sauce after the meeting began, "Mr. Tell me, but I don't really want to know."

"It's powerful and cheap! It turned out that we knew about it later than you!"

The old Mr. Messi and the old Mr. Aveiro criticized angrily in unison.

"Who is his father?!"

Figo, Jazz and Maradona stopped discussing the issue of their grandson's nationality, and looked at the old Mr. Messi and the old Mr. Aveiro in unison.

"Nonsense! Of course it's mine!"

— Maradona snarled at old Mr. Messi.

—Jazz and Figo glared at old Mr. Aveiro.

Hey Hey hey!What about meeting in harmony and building a peaceful world together?What about friendly negotiations and no internal strife?

Why did you rob the child and take it to your own father right now!

Guardiola, Simeone, Mourinho, Ancelotti, Zidane, Allegri, Sanchez and more than a dozen old football artists stopped chewing their meat and focused on Jazz, Maradona and Figo.

10

"What are you looking at! Did I say something wrong?!"

Jazz, Maradona and Figo turned their heads and asked angrily.

10 + 1

Bailey, who came over to eat the meat, smiled and faced the infighting.He sent a message to Neymar to praise him. Compared with Messi and Ronaldo, he is really a good boy who keeps his own way and never makes trouble for his elders.

10 + 2

Neymar laughed and fell off the bed when he received the message.

After getting up, Mr. Nei decided to generously give Cristiano one of the rings that he bought one get one free in the last discount promotion in the mall to express his gratitude to him.

[Is this everyone's complaint or Pique's inside story]

Stakeholders have organized a 'support group for those who have been deceived and need healing'.

Leader: Pique.

The hall, which can accommodate hundreds of people, is bustling with people.

Before the meeting, everyone gathered together, regardless of each other or the mortal enemy, holding hands and looking at tears, crying to each other about their trauma.

Pique stepped onto the podium, coughed, and motioned for everyone to be quiet.

Then, he invited today's guest speaker.

Ms Antonella.

Mrs. Carlos burst into tears, and the auditorium was infected by her emotions for a while, and ghosts were crying and wolves were howling.

"I'm really stupid."

Ms. Antonella said so.

"I'm really stupid."

"I guessed early on that Leo had someone he liked, and I even helped him, attending Barcelona's party as his girlfriend, so that Barcelona's friends never had a chance to expose his mask."

"I'm sorry to my friends at Barcelona, ​​I'm sorry!"

Friends of Barcelona sighed and lamented the injustice of fate.

"I knew he bought a house in Barcelona and decorated it himself, and I knew right then and there that he was going on a secret date with someone."

"I knew he had a strange lover, and I even encouraged him to take his lover to meet his friends. I told him that girls need to feel safe."

"I'm so stupid."

"I saw a report later that Ronaldo hung a jigsaw puzzle in his living room. I was so stupid. I actually told Leo that this secret confession is so sweet."

"I said why Leo laughed so strangely that day! So he was waiting for me here!"

"Grass snake gray line, there are foreshadowings everywhere in life, but it's a pity that I didn't see it."

Puyol's eyes were also red.

Xavi couldn't help crying and scolding Ronaldo in Iniesta's arms.

Interestingly, on the other side, Ramos also held the hand of Torres who was forcibly dragged by him, crying about his heartache over the years.

On the other side of Torres, Pique was also sighing and telling Cesc Fabregas about his family history of blood and tears.

10

I hope that when Pique is aggressive, he will not leak his words and let others know that I have complained to him about sese.

Torres thought to himself.

The characters of "Torres is not familiar with Pique" must stand upright.