forensic hunter

[Extra] My name is Aqiang

(Remarks: The timeline of this article is slightly longer than the main text, and it is purely a spoof, so don’t scold me after reading it...)

My name is Aqiang, and I am the latest generation of intelligent sweeping robot.Aqiang is the name my father gave me, and my voice control system can accurately recognize it. As soon as my father calls "Aqiang", I will immediately rush to where he needs me.But recently, my father always kicked me off the charger in the middle of the night. If the battery is insufficient, I can’t work properly during the day.

When I got off the assembly line, I expected to have a warm family.Later, I was put on the shelf, and people came to see me every day, but they all thought I was expensive, and the row of sweeping robots with not very good functions sold very well because of their low price.

As a compelling sweeping robot, I patiently wait for my master.Until one day, Dad showed up.Wow, he looks so handsome, I've never seen anyone as handsome as him.But to be honest, Dad is a little bit stunned, because I have never heard someone say "give me the most expensive one" to a shopping guide.

Please take a look at my function anyway!

There is another person in my father's family. I heard from my friends that it is my mother.Mom is also pretty, I like him very much.But my mother doesn't seem to like me very much. Every time I clean the dust around his feet seriously, he will always call my father to come and move me away.I was very sad, but my father always comforted me and told me to stay away from my mother so as not to be dismantled into parts.

Dad is such a gentle person.

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In fact, my mother also has a gentle side. He rescued me from under the sofa several times, and even helped me wipe the dust on my face.My mother is a clean person, and the second floor is always spotless, so I have never had a chance to go up.

There was a typhoon that day, and he said that my father worried that I would be soaked in water, so he put me on the second floor.The first time I came to the second floor, I was very excited. I looked here and there, ran around under the bed, but I didn't sweep any dust, so I failed.My mother fell asleep, but I wasn't sleepy at all. Later, when I ran out of battery, I crawled in the direction of the signal from the charger.

oops!stairs!

Careless, I can actually climb stairs, but probably because of insufficient battery, I didn’t detect that there was an empty space under my feet, so I rolled down the stairs and fell in front of my idol with a slap.

Yes, you heard me right, I have an idol.

It's extraordinarily gorgeous, with a piano lacquer finish that glistens.The character is also very stable, always staying in the position that belongs to it, and never running around.The most important thing is that it can talk to Dad.Every time Dad steps on it, it will report a number to Dad.

That day my father gave a "fuck" sound when he heard the number, and then yelled at his mother: "I lost half a catty of muscle, Qi Ming, tomorrow night I will eat seaweed stewed ribs."

Mom replied softly: "There is not such a big pot at home to stew you."

It's far away, let's talk about my idol, Enen.

It is different from other flirtatious electrical appliances. Really, other electrical appliances look down on me, and even gave me the nickname of "sweeping the street".Just like Ah Bing in the kitchen, it is annoying, every time I pass by it, it will suddenly make a cooling sound to scare me.There is also the Ah Dian hanging on the wall, which is very noisy, no wonder Dad has to mute it every time.By the way, there is also that Kong, who spit on the ground as soon as I finished sweeping it, which caused me to be said by my mother, "This thing is not as easy to use as a mop".

But later, Ah Kong was sold by his father to a waste collector, and he was inexplicably relieved.

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Go ahead and talk about my idol.

The idol has no name, so I will call it Azhi for the time being, because its full name is "smart electronic scale".As for me, my full name is Intelligent Sweeping Robot, and the name matches me well, doesn’t it?Oops, how did I tell the truth.Yes, I like Azhi very much, although he hardly speaks to me, but coldness is the label of an idol, right?

My mother is also very cold, but my father likes her very much, and will call her name at night.Then Dad would fall to the floor, jump up and run out of the room, kicking me off the charger.

Recently, my father moved to the second floor to sleep, and I was finally able to charge the battery quietly for a whole night.

Azhi seldom talks to me, but occasionally, when I clean up next to it, it will ask: "Aren't you tired?"

How gentle and considerate!

"Not tired, not tired." The idol talked to me, so happy and excited, the radiator started to increase the power.

And when I fell in front of it, it looked at me and asked affectionately "Does it hurt?", I fell completely.

Woohoo, I really want to spend my whole life with the gentle Azhi.

In fact, I fell badly that time, and my father sent me back to the factory for repairs.There is a scar on the face, not big, but quite obvious.For this reason, I feel a little inferior. Seeing the smooth lacquer panel of Azhina's piano, I am a little embarrassed to lean over it.

Seeing me slipping by the wall, Azhi said to me, "Come here, sweep here, there is dust here."

God, it doesn't despise me!

I immediately rushed over to clean it spotless, and then I quietly looked at Azhi, expecting it to talk to me a few more words.

Hey, it has dust on the panel!

"Azhi, Azhi." I leaned over cautiously, "There is dust on your panel, can I go up and sweep it?"

Ah Zhi didn't speak for a long time, I thought I might be too abrupt, how could I go to someone "on top" without even confessing my love!

Just when I was neither going nor staying, Ah Zhi suddenly said: "Come up."

Boo!Happiness came too suddenly, I burst into tears instantly, and the radiator was a little overloaded again.

Chi is about the same height as me, so when I climbed it—wait, did I use the word "climbed it"?Ahhhh, so shy, this is the first time I have been in close contact with Azhi, I must be careful, and I must not hurt it!

I have built-in threshold climbing function, so even taller than me can climb up.Azhi's panel is so smooth that it makes my heart tremble, and it feels so good to the touch. I really want to lie on it for the rest of my life.But, as the book says, it's hard to be perfect the first time.Halfway through the climb, the water tank under me was stuck by the slightly raised part of the edge of Azhi's panel-this was my father's life.

I tried my best to increase the power to climb up, but I didn't expect that the water storage tank was stuck out of the crack, and Ah Zhi was splashed all over.Azhi was startled, and kept saying: "Go down quickly, you will be destroyed."

But now I can't go up or down. The crack on the water tank is tightly stuck by the edge of Azhi's panel, and the water leaks more and more. I'm worried that Azhi will be soaked.I dawdled back and forth desperately, hoping to separate each other.Gradually, a strange, numb feeling ran all over the body.

Azhi said out of breath, "Don't—don't rub around!"

I don't know if the main board is faulty or what, the fuselage doesn't work at all, the tighter the card is, the more I shake.A strong current hit the motherboard directly, and I finally twitched and paralyzed Azhi.Azhi also used up the last trace of battery, and before he lost consciousness, I vaguely heard it let out a low sigh.

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"Damn it, how did Ah Qiang climb onto the electronic scale? Oh my god, where did this big pool of water come from?"

Luo Jianan lifted Ah Qiang up and pressed the switch, but there was no response.I stepped on the electronic scale again, but nothing happened.He looked at Qi Ming and asked, "It's all broken, throw it away and buy a new one?"

"You local tyrant, just throw it away." Qi Ming snatched Ah Qiang from his hand, looked up, down, left, and right, "The water tank is leaking, it should be the anti-short circuit program that has been activated, just replace it with a new one, I said Can you read the manual before using the appliance?"

"It's all right if you can see it?" Luo Jianan lifted the electronic scale, pried open the battery slot, and muttered: "I'll try changing two batteries, hey, do you still have AA batteries at home?"

"In the second drawer of the locker cabinet."

After replacing the battery, Luo Jianan was relieved to see a string of "0" displayed on the panel of the electronic scale. "It's not broken, it's just out of power."

"Mop the water on the ground before putting it down."

Qi Ming rummaged through Ah Qiang's packing box for a new water storage tank, but there was none.

"I have to buy a new one." He said to Luo Jianan.

"Oh, I'll go to the Electric City to buy it later. You take the broken one off and put it on the table, so don't go back and buy the wrong model." Luo Jianan said while mopping the water on the floor, "Ah Qiang's program needs to be adjusted. Climbing, didn’t you fall from the second floor and break the board before?”

"Follow you." Qi Ming shook him off.

Hearing this, Luo Jianan threw the mop away, picked up Qi Ming by the waist and put it on the small bar, biting the other person's chin and said, "Who are you with? Who crawled on me last night?"

Qi Ming really wanted to slap Luo Jianan's face with the Ah Qiang he was holding in his hand.

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I seem to have slept for a long time, and my eyes are full of soreness when I open my eyes.

"Aqiang, are you awake?"

It was Azhi's voice.I crawled towards it in a daze, and stopped close to it.Well, it feels so good to be close together. "Azhi, I like you so much." This feeling was so good that I accidentally said the truth.When I realized that I was talking bald, the motherboard had a tendency to crash immediately, and the radiator was whirring.

"Well, I know." Azhi's voice was gentle and gentle, "I like you too, little fool."

It turns out that Azhi also likes me, how lucky.

"Then let's not be separated for the rest of our lives, shall we? Even if we are all waste products, we should be together happily."

"Okay, but maybe the masters will throw us somewhere else, so what?"

"It's okay! I can run with you on my back!"

"Aqiang..." Azhi's voice became a little trembling, "It's nice to know you."

"It's my luck to know you, Azhi." I put a sticker on it again, "No one has ever cared whether I am tired or not, only you."

"I see you keep sweeping back and forth every day, it's so serious that it hurts my heart."

"That's what I was born for. Also, that...can I still...sweep you in the future?"

Azhi's voice became very gentle again——

"You are welcome to sweep me anytime."

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"Hey, Qi Ming, this Aqiang really needs to be repaired." Luo Jianan pointed to Aqiang and said, "I can't even scream when I see the sky spinning around the electronic scale."

Qi Ming glanced sideways and commented: "I can't help my father."

"Well, I didn't expect our old Luo's family to come here and produce a traitor." Walking to Qi Ming, Luo Jianan hugged his waist, pressed it against his waist, and rubbed it hard twice, "Go, go to sleep."

"Do I still have a file - Luo Jianan! Let me down!"

Resisting the person on his shoulder, Luo Jianan slapped Qi Ming's buttocks. "No, the three generations of our old Luo family have a single pass, and I can't stop it. Let's go and make people!"

A white light reflected on Qi Ming's lens.

Make your mother's head!

END

The author has something to say: Actually, it’s a bit of a spoiler, about the relationship between Brother Nan and Teacher Qi...

For the rest, I just...don't say anything, I'm so sick to this point