[Ruijin] liar

【Everything that was once beautiful has turned into nothingness and turned into a nightmare. 】

"Jin?" Gray knocked on the toilet door, "Are you okay?"

There was no response from the other side of the door, only the sound of slightly heavy breathing passing through the gap.

Gray quietly clenched his fists, worry and confusion welled up in his eyes.

Facing Daniel's question in the afternoon, Jin immediately suppressed his smile, and pulled Gray back home almost at the speed of running away.Kim didn't say anything, and Gray didn't ask anything.

However, Daniel's words became a bullshit, and the conflicts accumulated for many days suddenly broke out.Gray has always felt that there is something wrong with him. There are many gaps in his memory, and many things seem reasonable, but they are not logical at all when he thinks carefully.The appearance of Jin gave him a sense of stability in his life and allowed him to return to the ground. However, after landing, he found that there was thick fog all around.

"Who are you talking to?" Does the "you" refer to Jin or himself?

Is Kim the existence of his delusions?Suddenly appearing when he was at the bottom of his life, he found the treasure that must be guarded, and found the motivation to keep going. It seemed, indeed, that he followed his inner calling.However, are such cute smiles and sweet words all fake?

...or is he himself the phantom?

Jin has been in the toilet for more than half an hour, and Gray has a bad feeling. "Jin? Jin?" He knocked on the door while calling out Jin's name.But never any response.He couldn't help but panic.

"Jin, don't be willful anymore, do you know that I'm worried about you!"

"sorry."

The door jerked, and something heavy leaned against it.

"I'm in a bit of a mess right now, can you just leave me alone?"

Jin's voice was low, as if he was suppressing something.

Tick, tick, tick, water hits the tiles.

Gray hammered hard, and the palm of his hand immediately turned red.He gritted his teeth and whispered: "Do you think you are the only one who is confused?"

As the last syllable dissipated in the air, a chasm-like rift of silence suddenly separated the two of them.

After a long time, Jin's dreamlike voice broke through the silence.

"I really don't know what's real and what's not. I don't understand, Gray. I don't understand.

"People in the class ignore me and treat me like air. When I sit in the classroom, I often think, do I exist? But outside the class, they bully me, and when those wounds hurt me I feel like I exist again. When I'm at home, when I'm in front of you, I try so hard to pretend those things never happened, you guys don't know anything, and over time, I start to doubt myself , did that really happen?"

There was a throbbing pain in his heart, and Gray couldn't help covering his chest. After it got better, he said with difficulty: "So to you, am I false? Am I an illusion?"

"..."

"No. When you talk to me, when you smile at me, you are the truth that I can touch.

"Why do you have to distinguish between true and false? I just want to grasp my happiness, and I don't want to care whether it is reality or a dream."

Gray took a deep breath: "But no matter how beautiful the dream is, it will be shattered one day, and you still have to face reality at that time."

"So, the day you wake up from the dream, will you leave?"

"No, I'll stay by your side forever. I promised."

"Well. There will be no day when you wake up from the dream, this is reality."

Something on the other side of the door was thrown on the ground, and there was a clear ding dong that made Grey's heart skip a beat.He watched as the door was opened, revealing Jin's face with a smile, looking down, what he saw was a piece of blood on his arm.

"You idiot! What are you doing!"

The shining silver blade lay quietly in a pool of bright red blood.

Gray's annoyed and complicated eyes moved quickly on Jin's pale face. He really wanted to yell and beat up the idiot in front of him, but seeing his calm eyes, it was like After being splashed with a basin of water, he calmed down in an instant.

He picked up the knife that was dripping blood, and moved his lips a few times: "Let me help you deal with it, don't do stupid things anymore."

Jin nodded, docile like a little sheep.A faint happy smile floated on his bloodless face.

Jin's already horrific arm had a few new stab wounds, like roses blooming on white paper.Gray treated it urgently, sterilized it, and then picked up gauze to bandage it.

"Why would you hurt yourself?"

"You're talking to me," King said dryly. "I've got to let myself know it's real."

Gray stopped when he heard this, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.Jin thought he was angry, and quickly said: "Gerry, don't be angry, it's nothing, I'm fine, really. Do you remember the meteor night I said, it was the day before you came back, that day I And tried to put the knife on the neck."

"What's there to be proud of?" Gray tried to smash his head with his eyes, he didn't know what was inside, "Why do you..." He swallowed what he didn't finish, and his eyes darkened.Does this still need to be asked, why would one attempt suicide, the answer is obvious.

"Hey, don't be angry. Didn't I stop? Although it's sad, I think of Gray and my sister. You must hope that I can live a good life. I don't want to be defeated by life, I I also want to live hard and live well. So, that night, I made a wish on the shooting star. As a result, Gray really appeared the next day!

"Now that I think about it, the days when you were not around were like a dream, although that has passed. Now, Gray will be with me at night, and I will no longer have insomnia, and I will not doze off in class. You will teach me homework, Supervise me, my grades have improved. And, also, Gray helped me beat the group of villains who bullied me! Walking on the road, with Gray holding my hand, I will not be afraid .

"I feel so happy right now, Gray. How can I be so happy?"

Gray slowly raised his eyes and met Jin Shui's hazy eyes.That connection was made again.

"I love you so much, Gray.

"I like you."

Gray was captured by that blue sky.He was almost greedily drawing from those eyes, and a certain part of his heart gradually swelled like a sponge that absorbed water.

This time, what is his choice?

Qiu jokingly said that he would not be able to live without Jin, but he knew that was telling the truth in a teasing tone.And he also knew that he couldn't do without Jin.

People have two needs, to love and to be loved.In Jin, Gray can satisfy both needs at the same time.This is also the motivation to support him to continue living.

He wants to hold Jin's hand, walk side by side with him, and live happily ever after.

"I like you too."

He finally gave his long-overdue answer.

Jin's eyes widened suddenly, and the already wet eyes were instantly blurred by the liquid.He tried hard to suppress the sourness rolling in his throat, and said in a hoarse voice: "I thought you rejected me before..."

"I didn't do that." Gray held his hand softly and reassuringly, "Can you tell me when that was?"

"The first day you came back...you said we were still friends..." Jin choked up, trying to raise his hand to wipe away the teardrops from sneaking away, but Gray grabbed his wrist.

"Listen, Jin." Gray's voice was unbelievably soft, and he slowly hugged Jin, letting him fill his arms.He leaned close to his ear and said very seriously, as if making an eternal oath:

"I like you."

"I have something to tell you."

Jin slightly turned his face away, a faint red color appeared on his cheeks.

Seeing his rare coy posture, Gray wanted to laugh a little, but he didn't succeed.He gently squeezed the warmth in his palm, as if to encourage: "What's the matter, tell me."

Rows of cars parked in front of the zebra crossing on the road, like melon-eaters waiting for Jin to say something.Jin's hand held by Gray moved uneasily, and his ears became more and more red: "That's it, uh..." The blood kept rushing to his face, he looked around quietly, and felt that the people next to him were Looking at the two boys holding hands, they must be thinking in their hearts why these two guys did not cross the road after the green light.

Gray vaguely understood what he was going to say, but deliberately misunderstood: "There are a lot of cars, hold on tighter later." He took Jin's hand and gestured to pass.

"It's not that!" Jin Ban said angrily, and quickly grabbed him.Suddenly there was the sound of a car starting, and he trembled in fright, only to realize in a blink of an eye that the green light had passed.

"Then what do you want to say?" Gray pretended to be serious and asked, with a hint of misery in his eyes.

Jin opened his eyes wide, smashed the pot, and shouted loudly: "Can you--" Halfway through the words, the volume was also reduced by half, "Kiss me?" At the end of the sentence, it was already sound like a mosquito.

Jin Qiang resisted his shyness, pretending to be calm and glared at Geri angrily, but he didn't know that his ears were so red that they were about to smoke.

"I don't know when your volume became so low." Ignoring Jin's annoyed eyes, Gray slightly curled his lips, "Do you want this?"

He leaned down and tasted the taste of those lips finally got his wish.

Jin's eyes were fixed in a wide open state, and he didn't realize what happened just now until the end of the touch-to-leave kiss.It was as if an electric current exploded from his lips and flowed to his limbs, and he felt his legs go limp for a while.

"Varied!……"

He let out a delayed exclamation.

"Do you want to do it again?" Gray smiled lightly, his tone was calm like a veteran in love, but he didn't realize that there was a layer of shyness of a young boy floating on his cheeks.

Jin stared intently at Gray's face with a gentle smile, and suddenly showed a smile brighter than the sun.

There were screams piercing the sky.

"I really really like Gray!"

Once again, he confided his heart on the side of the road, but this time, it was different.Tears glistened in his eyes.

"Kin be careful!!!"

Who yelled and pushed him away?What is that colliding giant?

"squeak--"

"Bang!!!"

My mind is like a universe that has just exploded, and chaos has destroyed everything.Jin tried to move his fingers, but he could hardly feel the existence of his own body.He felt as if he had become a ghost, a cloud, wandering aimlessly between the sky and the earth.

"how do you feel?"

A familiar voice sounded in a distant place, as if separated by a layer of fog.

Who is talking?What's up with him?Where is he now?

Sweet green kisses.

Gray...

car!

His closed eyes trembled violently.Jin tried hard to open the heavy eyelids, and finally saw a blur after a while.

"Gerry..." he murmured, his throat felt so dry it was almost torn.He coughed uncomfortably.

"You're awake, Kim, are you feeling alright?"

A glass of water was handed to his mouth, and Jin raised his hand to take it with difficulty, swallowing it hastily, and only after his throat felt comfortable did he realize that the person next to him was Daniel.

"Where's Gray? Where's Gray?"

Daniel tried his best not to frown together. He suppressed the worry in his eyes and said softly, "Don't worry, Jin, do you remember what happened?"

"Yeah." Jin nodded weakly, holding the water glass tightly with both hands, "The car accident... Gray was with me at the time, so it doesn't matter where he is?"

"It's 2019, Kim."

"I know." Jin looked at Daniel with a dignified expression suspiciously, feeling an invisible hand slowly grabbing his neck, and was very disturbed for a while, "Did something happen? How is Gray? As soon as he thought what happened to Gray, Jin lost his composure. He knocked over the water glass and grabbed Daniel's sleeve: "Gerry, what happened to Gray? He protected me at that time, Is it badly hurt? Daniel, please, tell me! Please!"

Beggingly stared at by those moist eyes similar to Qiu, Daniel went through all the ideas in his mind, and felt that his throat was extremely difficult: "You tell me first, last time I asked you who you were talking to, Gray Is it right next to you?"

"Yeah, what's the matter?" Jin let go of his hand unconsciously, "What do you want to say?"

Jin's eyes were ignorant, like a child who hadn't experienced much in the world.Daniel stopped breathing suddenly, because of this terrible reality.He closed his eyes, then took a few deep breaths, and it took him a while to face Jin's puzzled eyes.

"Listen, Kim, Gray died in the car accident a year ago."

"what are you saying?"

After a long time, Jin woke up from a blank state, his pale lips moved a few times, and then he uttered words so light that they seemed to be broken with a poke.

"Please don't make such jokes."

"It's not funny at all!"

He was screaming hysterically like a mad lion.

"How dare you! How dare you say that about him! He finally came back, he helped me with my homework, helped me fight off the villains who bullied me, he encouraged me and comforted me, although he always had a cold face, but Will smile gently at me. He responded to my confession, he said he likes me! He is the best person in the world, how dare you, how dare you!..."

Tears filled his eyes frantically, but Jin held his head stubbornly, trying desperately not to let the tears fall.In the blurred vision, Daniel remained silent, like a stone statue.

where is thisA hospital, yes, a hospital, a place full of liars.The lying doctor would tell him "Your sister is overworked," sigh "We did our best," and pretend to send Cho's body to the morgue.

Everyone is a liar and ganged up to trick him, even organizing a fake funeral.

They can turn the black into the white, and the living into the dead.They took his sister from him, and now they're going to do it again, and wipe Gray from the world.

He's had enough of these deceptions.He wants to go home, his beautiful and gentle sister is still waiting for him at home, waiting to smile at him and say you are back...

Daniel watched the skinny boy growl like a wild beast, and after an unknown amount of time, he finally calmed down.He watched silently as his always uplifted head slowly lowered, and two new dark water stains appeared on the semi-dry bed sheets.

"I want to go home..."

King didn't know how he finished the transcript.He only remembered that the incandescent lamp above his head was extremely dazzling, and the air in the sealed room was suffocatingly hot.The mouth of the man in uniform opened and closed, sporadic spit fell on the table.What is he saying?I don't know, I don't understand.What am I talking about?I don't know, I don't understand.

Daniel sent Kim off the complex, and Kim refused his request for companionship.

It was already night, but there were only a few sporadic windows showing light in the dilapidated neighborhood.Most people have already abandoned their old residences, where countless fond memories are buried, and are heading for an unknown tomorrow.There was a faint noise blowing by the ear with the night wind, Jin stood beside the corridor, listening to the voice quietly like an old man on his deathbed, slowly, slowly, losing his breath.It wasn't until the voice died that he opened his legs and stepped onto the corridor.

One step, one step, da, da.The old voice-activated lights have had enough of the ravages of the years, and they don't respond to any sound.Kim walked through the darkness like a ghost.He caressed the armrest with peeling red paint, which was uneven and rough enough to make his palms sting from time to time.The mottled white wall combined with the dim light distorted the disorganized graffiti lines into hideous ghosts, all squinting at him and sneering.Those crooked mouths opened and closed, and the cold sentences wrapped around his neck like a smooth little snake.They are asking:

Why are you alone?

The door was opened, and what greeted him was darkness.

"I am back."

He smiled as usual, with the corners of his mouth raised to a fixed angle, and deftly flipped on the light switch.He let the white light of the electric lamp illuminate every corner, but there was no shadow of another person anywhere.

In the vase on the dining table, the flowers curled up, watching the pale young man shuttle back and forth between the rooms.It replaced the corpse of the predecessor on the day Gray came back, and now, it cannot escape the same fate as the predecessor, after all, it has lost the roots it needs to survive.

"elder sister……"

Jin knelt down beside Qiu's bed, and suddenly sneezed loudly, stirring up dust flying all over the sky.His eyes slowly scanned the surroundings, and finally landed on the photo frame covered with a thin layer of gray on the bedside table, only to realize that no one has lived here for a long time.

That's right, my sister has a serious illness, and she's gone...

In the photo, Qiu hugged her beloved younger brother with a bright smile.

Jin didn't know how he crawled into his bed, and when he became conscious, the quilt had wrapped him tightly, isolating him from the world.

How can it be so cold?He grabbed the edge of the quilt, his teeth chattering up and down.A heavy despair and cold flooded towards him, gradually flooding the entire room, almost taking his breath away.

There is no sister here, and there is no Gray.

Daniel told him that Gray pushed him away a year ago, and he died under the wheel, and since then he has had psychological problems.While enduring the high pressure of life, Qiu was worried about Jin's depression and anxiety, and eventually died from overwork.

Therefore, the beauty of these days is nothing but an illusion created by himself.

"Gerry, among us, there is a liar..."

That's him, a little bastard who is addicted to lying and can even deceive himself.

That answer, that confession, and that kiss were all just his own imagination.

He never knew Gray's answer, and never would know that answer.

The tears that had been accumulated for a long time finally burst, and washed wantonly over the corners of the trembling lips.

"Gerry, Gray... Liar, big liar, you said you would never leave me again, you swore..."

In the confusion, someone hugged him gently from behind, and the reassuring breath made Jin murmur subconsciously: "Gerry..."

"Kim, don't cry. Go to sleep, it's just a nightmare."

Jin was awakened by the blinding light.He rubbed his eyes uncomfortably, only to realize that the curtains had been closed.Two chubby little birds are perched on the edge of the window, enjoying the warm temperature in the golden sunshine.

"Ah..." He muttered dissatisfiedly, he was still not fully awake.

"Do you want to sleep a little longer?" Someone next to him put on the quilt that had slipped off again, Jin Mi stared at him, and then fell into Ge Rui's arms unsteadily. "It's hard," he said.

Grey stretched out his fingers to gently stroke his red and swollen eyes, and said softly, "Why are you crying?"

"I'm having a nightmare." Jin covered his face feebly, as if he could forget the terrible scene, "That's terrible."

Gray gently moved his hand away, looked into those misty eyes, and then planted a kiss on his forehead: "Then have a good dream and forget about it."

"Yeah." Jin chuckled, blinking the mist out of his eyes.He adjusted to a comfortable position on the bed, half-closed his eyes and looked at the soft-faced Gray. "Wait a minute," the corner of his mouth curled up mischievously, and he grabbed Gray's hand domineeringly, "This way, you won't be able to escape."

There were helpless ripples in Grey's calm eyes. He untied Jin's hand from his wrist, then lay beside Jin, stretched out his hand actively, and interlocked his fingers. "Go to sleep."

Accompanied by the dawn and birdsong, Jin closed his eyes and fell asleep again beside his favorite Ge Rui.

end

☆, Sui Sui Nian

Thank you for watching. I don’t feel like writing this article, and there are quite a lot of shortcomings.At the beginning, I wanted to imitate some of Yiyi's techniques and write something interesting, but the more I wrote, the more I deviated from the outline, and the plots that I originally wanted to imitate Yiyi were useless at all.

That's not how I envisioned the ending at first. "Finally, Jin returned to his cold and empty home and wrapped himself in a quilt. He recalled the sweetness, tears fell, and called Gray's name. Then Gray hugged him from behind." It was my original idea.Then, when I was writing the last chapter, I changed my mind.

In my essay, Kim's attitude towards life is always positive.

If it were you, what would it mean for you to make Kim face reality?This is my question.

One has to live well.This is my friend's answer.

However, Kim cannot live without Gray and Cho as spiritual pillars.So he created illusions.Although the way is wrong, he really wants to live a good life.If Qiu and Grey were still there, they probably expected the same.He was not willing to sink into a life of despair. Gray's appearance actually corresponded to the wish he made to Meteor. It was also after Gray's appearance that Jin's life improved.

As for why I said in Chapter 1 that the biggest abuse point has already appeared.Because at the end of the chapter, I wrote about Kim’s confession before the car accident, and at that time, Gray was no longer there. That is to say, from the beginning to the end of the article, all the candies are plastic and fake.Gray will never have his answers, and Kim will never have them.The so-called liking and the so-called happiness are nothing but self-delusion.

Finally, sort out the background of the article.That is, Ge Rui and Jin were childhood sweethearts, one day Jin confessed to Ge Rui, and then there was a car accident, Ge Rui pushed Jin away but died.Jin Shou was hit too hard, and his spirit was not stable.And Qiu died of overwork within a year, and Jin completely collapsed.Everyone believed that it was Jin who killed Grey. Coupled with Qiu's death, some people said that Jin was the lone star of the evil spirit.Everyone in the class, including the teacher, treats him as a transparent person and ignores him on purpose. Outside the class, people with a heart will deliberately bully him, and Jin, who is muddle-headed, will not resist.

As for the ending, which one is a dream and which one is reality, you can figure it out for yourself.

Some realities are too cruel, and some dreams are too beautiful.

Is it necessary to distinguish between true and false sometimes so clearly?