Humanoids on the way to upgrade [Comprehensive British and American]

Zoe cleaned up her whole body, looked down at the five unknown creatures lying on the ground expressionlessly.

A woman with green skin and red hair, a bald head with dark skin and red tattoos, a talking raccoon, a human-shaped tree...

Among the group of lying unknown creatures, there is an incompatible existence-this is a man who looks like a man on earth.

Yes, very similar.Zoe suspects that these unknown creatures lying on the ground are the legendary aliens.

Zoe was smashed half to death by the spaceship that fell from the sky. The group of unknown creatures stood on the spaceship and chattered in a language she could not understand. knocked down.

At the moment, there is only one thought in her mind—is the documentary about Area 51 in the United States that Nima watched when she was a child turned out to be true? !

The little raccoon can talk?Trees can actually walk?There are skin colors other than black, white and yellow in the world?

Doesn't alien invasion only happen in movies? !

However, there are things on the mysterious side of magic on the earth, and it is not surprising that things on the scientific side like aliens are real.

...that's weird.

The colorful skin can be cosplay, the talking raccoon can be a simulation toy, and the tree man walking upright may be some unknown animal that is good at disguising as a plant—but such a big spaceship can’t be faked, right? ? !

Zoe sat in the pouring rain and took a deep breath to calm down. She tremblingly reached for the satchel splashed with muddy water, took out a bottle of Fat House Happy Water and took a sip.

The surrounding area was empty, the trees were gone, and what was left was a large circular pit formed by the impact. The rainwater was continuously pouring into the pit, and the water accumulated deeper and deeper.The group of five unknown creatures was submerged face down in the water, and they would probably suffocate to death in a while. Zoe controlled them to float up and moved them to the high ground.

At this moment, Xingjue groaned and woke up

He slowly opened his eyes, and what came into view was a pair of mud-covered boots. The boots had slender scales on their leather, a bit like tanned crocodile or snake skin.

Looking up, there is a pair of slender and straight legs. The owner of these legs is wearing very avant-garde ripped denim, and the T-shirt is printed with Captain America's shield.

This pattern is so familiar that it makes me want to cry, Star-Lord thought.When he was a child, he also collected a full set of Captain America’s figures, read a full set of Captain America’s comics, visited Captain America’s museum, and even the pillowcase and sheets were Captain America.

But this was a long time ago, ever since he was taken into space by aliens, and these familiar things were reduced to vague symbols in his memory, which only became clearer in his dreams.

"Are you awake?" the red-haired beauty who looked down at Xingjue spoke condescendingly.

Xingjue couldn't control the urge to cry when he heard this simple English sentence.It was the first time he had heard Earth language in decades.

Xingjue struggled to stand up, but couldn't resist and fell face down into the mud. He looked down, only to find that a strange rope was tied to his body. The texture of the rope was very strange, like a condensed flame. It is extremely tough and has a scorching temperature.

"So beautiful, do you like this kind of play?" Xingjue couldn't control his sloppiness.

"Are you an alien? You can speak English?" Zooey tilted her head, "Then it will be much easier, saving me from using the translation spell."

"I'm from Earth." Xingjue blinked and quickly understood his situation.

Zoe frowned. She is a Dementor and has passed the qualification examination, which means that Zoe has a license to "use Dementor in an emergency".

Now it's an emergency, and Zoe has used the ability of insanity.

But soon, Zoe found that she couldn't read Star-Lord's memory, and her telepathy could only stay on the surface of her brain, which showed that this man could use special means to resist the erosion of the curse, which ordinary people on earth couldn't do at all. a little!

Zooey's face sank, and she said, "You're lying! Do you think I'm a fool?"

"I am a human from Earth, and I have no ill will towards this planet! I was taken into space by aliens when I was very young. I was born on Earth and spent my childhood on Earth." Star-Lord said in English with a strange accent, " Please, I haven’t spoken English for more than 20 years. I grew up among a group of aliens, and I speak the universal language of the universe. I’m not used to speaking English suddenly. Believe me, I’m from Earth!”

"You do look very earthly, but you are not earthly." Zoe said blankly, "No human being can resist my magic. My magic can at least make ordinary people comatose for a day. You are the first to wake up. Yes, while your companions are still unconscious. You are stronger than your companions."

Xing is harmless to humans and animals compared to his ferocious companions Jue: "???"

——Sorry, I'm the weakest chicken among us.

"Wait, magic?" Xingjue looked blank, "People on Earth don't know magic! You are an alien!"

Xingjue stared at Zoe. Is it possible that the people on earth have evolved the ability of magic in the decades since he left?The speed is too fast, it is impossible!During these years of wandering in the universe, he has known some alien races who are good at magic and have special abilities, but no one has heard that the earth has magic!

"Uninformed, you underestimate the people on earth, and you can't even do intelligence work. You are unregistered, illegally invaded the earth, and violated our "Regulations on the Administration of Aliens from the Universe". The law enforcement officers of the alliance found out. Although it is not working hours, it doesn’t matter, I will hand you over to the prosecutor’s office.” Zoe’s fingers sent out crackling red sparks, and she threatened, “What awaits you is about 60 years in prison or sent to the prosecutor’s office. Going to seabed mine deposits for labor reform, despising the earth will have to pay a price! Aliens, what awaits you is the severe punishment of the law!"

Xingjue was terrified, "What?"

Xingjue doubted his own cognition, didn't the people on earth even enter the primary civilization of the universe?Isn’t the farthest distance for people on earth to enter outer space the moon at our doorstep?Aren't the Earthlings a purely non-magical race?Aren't the people on earth still at the low-level stage of guessing whether aliens exist or not?

Mother!This is not the Earth I know anymore!

All the bigwigs in the universe sneered at the mention of the earth: "Oh, the earth, a remote place where people with few resources can't afford it? I don't even bother to invade it!"

Whenever this happens, Xingjue will feel both lucky and sad. Fortunately, his hometown is relatively poor and has no value in robbery, so the poor and weak people on the earth have developed steadily to this day.

"You're not lying to me, beauty?" Xingjue said hopefully, "If this is true, can I file an appeal? This is an accidental invasion, and the spaceship suddenly broke down, so we jumped here .”

"Sorry, no. And it's useless for you to tell me, save it to the earth court and tell the judge." Zoe said ruthlessly, "Aliens do not have the right to appeal on earth, which is only enjoyed by earth citizens of."

"It's been said that I'm from Earth!" Xingjue said with a "you believe me" expression on his face.

Zoe was thinking about how to ask questions to get more information.

Now she said that there are three points of information: [-]. There are aliens who know the existence of this planet Earth, and have even visited it.[-]. This earth-like man knows the earth very well.Three, the ability to jump through space in his spaceship.

Many years ago, the United States launched an exploration satellite into outer space, which carried records, played different earth languages ​​continuously, and even attached the coordinates of the earth, expecting to come into contact with alien intelligent life.Some scientists think this is a terrible idea, because it will expose the position of the earth in the universe, and even lead to a war of aggression.People at that time didn't even know whether aliens existed, and even believed that aliens had triangular faces with big eyes, and their hands and feet were slender octopus tentacles.

However, no one knows that the earth has been exposed to the universe.

Zooey thought of the space vortex that appeared in midair, and her heart sank.

The technology of aliens is amazing. The spaceship actually has the ability to jump in space. Under normal circumstances, it is estimated that the earth's technology will have to develop for hundreds of years to reach such a height.

This means that aliens have the ability to invade the earth on a large scale and start a war of aggression on this blue planet. Whether the earth people have the ability to resist is still unknown.

In particular, Zoe noticed a word in Star-Lord's mouth - "universal language".

What does lingua franca mean?English can be regarded as the lingua franca of the earth. It is the official language of many countries. People learn English to communicate with foreigners who do not understand the language more conveniently.If there is a common language in the universe, it means that there are many races using different languages ​​in the universe, and they use the common language to facilitate communication between different races.

In translation, the universe has more than one advanced civilization.

The earth is like an isolated island separated by the sea. People on the island are very closed and self-sufficient, but they don't know what lies beyond the sea.

Zooey didn't expect to encounter such a shocking event when she came to Amazon. She was thinking about how to deal with these aliens.

The green-skinned red-haired woman who was supposed to be in a coma moved her fingers, and Zooey looked at her keenly.

Gamora suddenly exploded, broke the magic rope at once, and rushed to Zoe as fast as lightning and punched her in the abdomen, but when Gamora's hands touched the left and right abdomen, her body It was instantly knocked away by a powerful energy.

With a loud bang, a shallow crater appeared under Gamora's body, and the twisted and violent fiery red energy tightly wrapped around her like a big hand.Gamora's clothes began to disintegrate, floating in the air like powder, followed by fingertips, hair...

This is a terrifying energy that is beyond the rules. Any object wrapped in this energy will return to the original atomic state.

"Let me go!" she yelled in the Universal Tongue.

The fiery red energy wrapped around Gamora's body suddenly loosened, and strands of it floated to Zoe's side like homing, and disappeared after touching her skin.

A touch of red flashed across Zooey's pupils, and she said, "It's best not to do anything to me, and it's best not to kill me, unless you want to be like her."

At some point, Rocket Raccoon, Drax, and Groot all woke up, and Groot quietly retracted the protruding vine. They looked at Zoe defensively, as if they were sizing up some monster.

Gamora is known as the most dangerous woman in the universe. She was personally taught by Thanos, the overlord of the universe. Gamora was once the strongest under Thanos, but her swift attack was easily resolved by Zoe.

"Of course, of course, we have no malicious intentions, I am from Earth." Xingjue, who was still bound by the magic rope, immediately succumbed.

He stared at Zooey's trembling fingers, feeling as if she was trying to restrain herself.

The girl's energy attack just now could easily kill any of them if it happened again, and Star-Lord had no doubts about it.

But red energy emerged from Zoe's body again, and the faces of several members of the Guardians of the Galaxy changed.Zoe closed her eyes slightly and took deep breaths... It seemed that after some fierce struggle, the energy entangled in her body was taken back again.

"You can't control it," Gamora said coldly.

She was using the Universal Language, which Zoe didn't understand. She frowned, and several golden ropes came out of her sleeves, wrapping Gamora tightly.

Xingjue winked wildly at his teammates, signaling Gamora to stop irritating the girl with nonsense, their lives could not stand the toss.

"Where is this place? Where's our spaceship?" Rocket Raccoon whispered.

"Yeah, where's the spaceship?" Star-Lord woke up from his dream, looked at Zoe and asked.

"IamGroot?" Groot was puzzled.

Rocket: "No, no, it won't disintegrate to the point where you can't even find the scum."

"Is this what you're talking about?" Zoe took out a fingernail-sized... spaceship from the ripped cowboy's pocket? !

Drax: "...how did it become like this?"

Even Gamora, who has always been calm, was dumbfounded.

"It's too big, trouble, I made it smaller." Zoe said.

Guardians of the Galaxy: "..."

——What's the matter with such an understatement tone!

In fact, during the period when the five people were unconscious, several helicopters flew over from the sky, but Zoe cast a Muggle repelling spell nearby and laid many layers of large magic barriers, so the people on the helicopter did not see them, Nor did they find a huge pothole in the rainforest floor.

There was a deafening roar from the rainforest in the distance.

Zoe showed a look of surprise, it was the voice of a green-skinned short-necked dragon.

Xingjue trembled, "What kind of creature can make such a sound?"

Zooey raised her eyelids, "Dragon, the kind that eats human flesh."

Star Lord: "?!?!"

——How could there be such unreasonable creatures on the earth? !

The companions who don't understand the earth language listen to Zoe's words blankly, and Xingjue sincerely feels that sometimes ignorance is also a kind of happiness.

"If you don't obey, I'll leave you to feed the dragon." Zooey said lightly.

Probably the sound of the collision of the spaceship was transmitted too far, and the human helicopter circled around again, making these dragons think that their territory was invaded, which is why they were so manic.This place can't stay for long, the wizarding government of Brazil is expected to send dragon trainers to appease the runaway dragons soon, otherwise these big guys will fly to the human habitation.

Zooey recognized the direction of the dragon roar, and planned to take advantage of this gap to collect dragon claw orchids as soon as possible, otherwise there would be no chance.

It was still raining, Zoe took a look at these aliens, raised her slender hand to the hole created by the spaceship, magic light shot out from her fingertips, and the sunken ground rumbled up and changed again. It was leveled, and countless saplings emerged from the ground, growing at an extraordinary speed, and turned into towering giant trees in a short while.

The destroyed rainforest was restored to its original appearance under the influence of Zoe's ability.

She turned to look at the five aliens whose jaws dropped to the ground, lost in thought.

The goals of these people are too big to carry.

Zoe snapped her fingers, and with a bang, the five members of the Guardians of the Galaxy turned into snails the size of a fist.

"It's easy to transport like this, it doesn't take up space, and it runs slowly." Zoe leisurely picked up the five crawling snails on the ground, put them in the transformed glass jar, sealed the lid tightly, and left Two ventilation holes.

The five snails were obviously very frightened. Their tentacles were erected very high, and they tried their best to crawl inside the glass tank, but this was of no use. There is no slower species in the world than snails.

Zoe observed the snails for a while, thought for a while, and stuffed a handful of leaves into them.

"Your body has become a snail, and only leaves can satisfy your hunger. If you are hungry, eat this." She said deliberately.

Alien snails: "..."

— Bah, how do you eat this kind of thing!

Drax curiously took a bite, and flicked his tentacles—it smells so good!

"Stop it! You are human, how can you eat this?!" Xingjue turned pale with shock.

Drax said blankly, "Isn't this the special food of the earth?"

Rocket couldn't bear to look directly at her, "This woman was randomly picked up from the ground, idiot!"

"IamGroot." After becoming a snail, Groot still only said this.

Drax was puzzled, "The special grilled bugs that Star-Lord eats are also randomly obtained from the trees in the Mitri star field, and they are also aphrodisiac."

Xingjue said that it is really difficult to explain the cultural generation gap of the planet, "I eat grilled bugs because the staple food of Mitri people is bugs! Earth people don't eat leaves!"

Gamora: "She gave us this to mock us, not to make us eat it! Shut up you idiots!"

Zoe was too lazy to understand what the aliens were communicating. She put the glass box in her satchel, took out her broomstick, cast the invisibility spell and quickly flew to the green-nosed short-necked dragon's lair.

This is a small fire dragon, and they are flying out of their nest to the place where the spaceship fell. Zoe avoided the fire dragons in the air with the superb flying skills of a professional Quidditch player, and plunged into their nest. Successfully found the dragon claw orchid.

Ten minutes later, Zoe set off home with a bag full of dragon claw orchids and a glass box of snails.

……

"Kolson, why do we put hamsters, weasels, and small lizards in the cells for serious criminals?" a subordinate asked suspiciously.

Coulson: "...Because they are prisoners. Sorry, this is confidential."

"Should the prisoner's standard breakfast, lunch and dinner be sandwiches, salads, hamburgers... Should hamsters, weasels and small lizards also be configured like this?" the subordinate asked again.

"...Prepare them nuts, dried fruit, raw chicken and mealworms." Coulson wiped his face and said.

The author has something to say: Zoe: You are definitely not from Earth!

Xingjue: Is it my fault that I have half alien blood?

……

Even if I, Xingjue, were to die, here, at the door of our house, and be strangled by Thanos, I wouldn't bite a leaf!

——Emma, ​​it smells so good!Come and try it, friends!

Teammates: Tired.

……

This chapter is two in one.

I hope everyone will not think that the heroine's attitude towards the Guardians of the Galaxy is too bad... because she faces a group of unknown aliens with strong attack power. .

Zooey preconceived that Star-Lord lied, and his blood was indeed not a complete earthling.

The aliens in the movie speak English, so here we change it to Universal Language_(:з」∠)_