After dressing as a villain, I'm with the paranoid male protagonist.

During the third mock exam, Qiao Annian realized that there might be something wrong with his mentality.

Holding the pen in his hand, he stared intently at the test paper.

The test paper was full of content he was very familiar with, but his mind was blank.

Those words and numbers that he used to be able to handle with ease, became messy in front of his eyes and turned into completely unfamiliar arrangements and combinations.

He needs to poke the back of his hand with a pen and use the pain to clear his mind.

He didn't poke too hard.

At that time, he was still able to control himself and not hurt his own body.

It worked the first time.

His brain regained clarity due to the pain, and the words and numbers that had become unfamiliar to him appeared in front of him again with a familiar face.

He successfully completed the exam before handing in the paper.

But before that, he would finish the test papers ten or even 20 minutes earlier every time, so he would have enough time to check the papers.

When the results of the third mock test came out, his total score dropped slightly compared to the previous two, but it was not too obvious.

He still took the first place in the school.

Then, the second time, the third time...

Stimulating the brain with pain, the effect of maintaining clarity is getting weaker and weaker every time, even if his strength is getting stronger every time...

The effect is no longer so obvious.

His ranking dropped again and again.

When he failed the test for the first time, the teacher asked him to talk to him, telling him not to put too much pressure on himself. It is normal for him to perform abnormally in the test.Just try to do well next time.

After he heard it, he didn't suddenly see the light.On the contrary, his heart seemed to be tied with a heavy object, and it fell heavily.

He is very clear that he is not performing abnormally, but his own mentality is wrong.

He is afraid.

He was afraid of the exam, and also afraid that his symptoms would not get better.He's afraid that next time things won't get better, they'll only get worse.

There is an old saying that the more you are afraid of something, the more you will come.

The more he was afraid that he would not be able to adjust his mentality in time next time, the result would really come true.

He really failed in the next few exams.

To make matters worse, he started having insomnia at night.

Drinking milk before going to bed, soaking feet, taking a bath, listening to light music, listening to soothing white noise... He has tried all the methods that can relax his mind and make it easier to fall asleep.

With little success.

I can only fall asleep at two or three in the morning every day.

Finally falling asleep, but also dreaming.

I dreamed that I was back to the scorching summer when the cicadas were singing...

The first time he paid for a taxi, he rushed to the examination room, because it had been 10 minutes since the start of the test, and he was stopped by the traffic police outside the examination room.

"This classmate, why are you alone? What about your family?"

"That's right, where is this child's family? This is too irresponsible! The high school entrance examination is such a big deal, why did you let him come here by himself?"

"Poor, I guess it will take another year to take the exam next year, right?"

"I'll have to wait until next year! I'm missing a subject! Not to mention that the score is a lot worse than others, I'm sure I won't be able to stabilize my mentality!"

"That's right. Hey. The child's family members are really big-hearted! Why didn't the family members remind me of such a big matter?"

The admission ticket in his hand was soaked with sweat, and when he let go, the ink on it swam away.

The admission ticket was hidden by his stepmother, and he coaxed his younger sister with ice cream, and got words out of her mouth.He took the knife from the kitchen and rushed to the factory of his stepmother and father.

He finally found his admission ticket, took the money from the iron box under the bed, took his information bag and rushed out.

It's still too late.

"You still say that your son is honest! Honestly, he will point a knife at us today? Oh my god, I'm scared to death. I don't know who it is... At a young age, with such a cruel heart, he dares to threaten people with a knife Oh, it's terrible. If he gets serious one day, won't he kill us all? It's terrible."

"Who told you to hide his admission ticket? Don't you know how important the senior high school entrance examination is? You messed around this time."

"Don't you agree with the decision to hide his admission ticket so that he can't go to high school in the county?"

"When did I agree?"

"You didn't agree? You didn't agree that day I said that if An Nian went to high school, if we got busy, no one would watch the two children, Da Bao and Xiao Bao. It would be fine if An Nian didn't go to high school. Don't you say that? He sighed, didn't he say anything? He also said that if he was admitted to high school, he would have to pay tuition fees. Besides, he couldn't go to high school, so he stayed at home and taught Dabao and Xiaobao their homework. One point, he went to work in the factory to make money, didn't he not delay at all? Isn't reading also for making money?

His mother left for so many years without any news, nor did she send a penny back.I have done my best to raise him so big.It's not possible, you still want me to pay him for high school, and then for him to go to college?Ah, what my own mother didn't do, I don't have the ability either.After what happened today, I understand even more, if this is not my own, it is not my own, no matter how nice you are to him, it is useless!It's all meat buns beating dogs, which is thankless.

No, today, the more I think about it, the more afraid I become.You have to ask him to apologize to me, the best thing is to sign a letter of guarantee that he will not threaten us with a knife in the future, otherwise he will go out to work for me immediately and send money home!Yes, this is good!He has gone out to work and is not at home, so naturally no one can threaten us.He stayed at home, he always felt, like a ticking time bomb.Who knows one day his madness will strike again. "

"Qiao Guangpin, I'm talking to you, did you hear me?"

Dreams are disordered.

Old house, dilapidated yard, listless classroom fan...

It doesn't matter where he was in the dream in the first place, who was talking to him, or who he heard talking to.

In the end, I always dream of the examination room and the classroom.

In the dream, he was always anxiously looking for the classroom.

Sweating profusely and panting, I found the classroom and sat down.

The test papers were all familiar to him, but he couldn't even remember the answer to one question.

It's not the scariest.

The frightening thing is that his palpitations in the dream have affected his emotions in real life.

In reality, during the exam, his mind also went blank...

...

The wind rustled the leaves.

Qiao Annian never thought that when he came out from behind the tree, he would meet someone.

To be precise, he never thought that he would be discovered.

The last class in their class is a self-study class. He asked the head teacher for leave in advance and wanted to go home for self-study.

Every year, students experience emotional breakdowns due to excessive study pressure.

His recent performance probably made the young class teacher worry too much.

As soon as he said he wanted to go home early for self-study, the head teacher agreed without saying anything after hesitating.

He didn't go back early.

Going back early, Zhang Qianrou must be worried.

He is home and school every day, at two o'clock and one line, for a while, he doesn't know where to go, wandering around the school with his schoolbag on his back, and it is easy to attract inquiries from passing teachers.

He just wanted to go to a place where no one was around and be alone.

After thinking about it, I found that there is no place more suitable than the tree-lined road next to the playground.

The teacher will make the students so relaxed. They hide here during class. Even if they are free activities, the students will not come here. There is no sports equipment here, and the students will not be interested.

There may be several girls coming here together.

But he was lucky, there was no physical education class this class, so he avoided the cleanliness of a class.

He came to the playground almost a class early, and of course those kids couldn't touch him.

The excuses used by those kids are too lame. Everyone must come to practice together...

In the past, when we made an appointment to practice ball and run together, which time was not random, whoever loved it so much, and who didn't love it so much that he fell down.

What everyone wants is clearly given to him.

If Qiao Annian was really a fifteen or sixteen-year-old boy, he might really play ball with a group of friends, break a sweat, or complain together, which would really relieve the pressure.

But he is not.

He wasn't even mentally unstable because of too much study pressure.

During this time, he has listened to too many comforting and enlightening words.

He understood their wishes.

But for the time being... he just wants to be alone.

Never thought that there was another one "waiting" for him here.

...

"Why are you here? Your first grade should have been out of school long ago?"

Qiao Annian looked at the child who appeared in front of him with a puzzled expression.

For more than two years, Xiaolou's stature has been much higher than that of two years ago.

It was only a little bit big before, but in the past two days it has grown up like a bamboo.

But still not as fast as him, of course, not as high as him.

He was only 1.6 meters 1.7 when he was in the sixth grade, and now he is almost 1.8 meters [-]. It is not impossible for him to grow to [-] meters [-] no matter how hard he works.

He Nanlou: "On duty."

Qiao Annian looked at the child's empty hands, not even holding a rag, "Have you finished cleaning?"

He Nanlou nodded

Today is indeed He Nanlou's duty day.

However, he has never been on duty before, as long as he asks in the small group of the class if anyone is willing to help on duty, give a red envelope, and someone will naturally take care of it.

Looking down from the third grade classroom, the playground can be seen at a glance.

The moment Qiao Annian appeared on the playground with his schoolbag on his back, He Nanlou noticed him.

The time for the two of them to leave school is not uniform now, and the driver usually picks them up twice.

He Nanlou called the driver and asked the driver to pick him up when the ninth grade was out of school.

...

Lin Lele's conversation with He Nanlou was no younger than Qiao An's.

He Nanlou hadn't come to school for a long time, and since he learned of Qiao Annian's identity, he hadn't opened the monitoring software installed in Qiao Annian's phone for a long time.

Before today, he didn't know that Qiao Annian had a problem with his study mentality.

A man over 30 would be nervous because of an exam like the senior high school entrance examination.

It’s ridiculous.

He Nanlou didn't take Lin Lele's words seriously at first, until Lin Lele and the others left, Qiao Annian didn't come out from behind the tree—

Avoiding this kind of thing, if it is not out of prank or disgust, then somewhat, it has a hint of evasion.

"Since you finished cleaning, let's go back together. Come, give me the schoolbag."

Qiao Annian reached out to help the child carry the schoolbag, the smile on his face was different from usual.

"Need not."

There were not many books in his schoolbag.

Qiao Annian also came across the child's schoolbag at this moment, raised his eyebrows slightly, "Xiaolou, you only came to school with a schoolbag on your back, right?"

The weight of this schoolbag is too light, as if there is nothing in it.

He Nanlou: "Did you pass the exam this time?"

Joannian: "..."

...

During this period of time, most of the people around him have been wary of him.

Xu Minglang was the first in the school several times in a row, but he didn't mention a word in front of him, and even in the small group, no one mentioned it.

But before that, if someone between him and Xu Minglang got the first place in the school, Lele and the others would immediately flash fireworks and applause in the group.

In fact, it has been a long time since anyone in the small group mentioned grades.

Everyone will complain in the group that the teacher sends out too many test papers, which is too cruel and inhumane.I will also share in the group which milk tea shop has opened near the school, which milk tea shop has the most discounts, and the new desserts launched by Lelejia are delicious.

It's just that no one will mention the exam, let alone the grade.

Not to mention, when I suddenly heard someone asking about my grades so coldly, the apex of my heart really felt like it was slightly twisted and stung by a bee.

Besides, there was a little bit of embarrassment.

He is an older brother, so he should set an example for Xiaotuanzi.

In other words, with Xiaolou's IQ, it seems that there is no need for him to set an example.

Qiao Annian laughed dryly, "Haha. That's right. The rankings are out of sight."

He Nanlou stared at Qiao Annian: "Are you very concerned about the high school entrance examination?"

Joannian was silent.

care.

I care too much.

He knew in his heart that it was because he wanted to make up for the regrets of his previous life too much and was too obsessed, which made him even have problems with his state now.

He clearly knew what was wrong with him, and he tried his best to adjust his mentality, but it didn't work.

This kind of feeling is like, he knows that he is sick and what disease he has, but he just doesn't know what medicine to prescribe and what treatment method to take.What makes him even more desperate is that he can't even find a doctor who can treat him, so he can only stand next to each other and suffer like this every day.

He Nanlou intentionally guided Qiao Annian to talk about him related to the high school entrance examination.

But obviously, Qiao Annian didn't seem to want to mention it.

Just like he avoided Lin Lele and the others, Qiao Annian also avoided the topic of the senior high school entrance examination.

This is an unusual signal.

Whether it was the single-parent family situation or the embarrassing life in childhood, Qiao Annian never avoided it.

But for the senior high school entrance examination, Qiao Annian took an attitude of avoiding talking about it for the first time.

Joannian's phone beeped in his pocket.

"Uncle Qian called us. It should be because we haven't gone out for so long. Let's go, we're going back."

Qiao Annian picked up the schoolbag he had put on the ground, and easily put it on the child's shoulders. After putting the schoolbag on his shoulders, he picked up the phone.

Sure enough, it was the driver calling.

Qiao Annian told the other party that he was with Xiaolou and they would go out soon.

Qiao Annian ended the call.

He Nanlou: "If you don't do well in the exam this time, there will be a next time, next time."

Qiao Annian showed a painful expression instantly, "Don't! I'll have a psychological shadow once, if I fail again..."

He Nanlou captured the key word: "Again?"

Joannian: "..."

"What I mean is that the exams have been unsatisfactory for several times in a row, and I have a shadow in my heart. If something goes wrong in such an important exam as the senior high school entrance exam, I will be mad at myself."

"The high school entrance examination is not the whole of life."

Qiao Annian was amused, "You are a student in the third grade, where did you learn these words? One set at a time."

"Short video."

"Short videos have become a bit too popular in recent years. But you have to watch less, some of the content in it is adult-oriented, too much exposure, it is not good for you, do you know?" Qiao Annian told all the parents The same as I was afraid that my little boy would be affected by these short videos.

Children are too young, and their mental development is often immature. Exposure to too many adult-oriented short videos can easily cause children to mature.

Xiaolou is already mature enough in some aspects, he hopes that the child can be like other children, don't have to think too much, just be a free and happy little kid.

He Nanlou lowered his eyelids.

Qiao Annian once again avoided the topic of the senior high school entrance examination.

...

With a white pill lying in Qiao Annian's hand, he hesitated.

The hand holding the cup was put down and picked up again.

Or...or try?

Qiao Annian raised his hand, but before the pill could be stuffed into his mouth, the door of the room was suddenly pushed open.

Qiao Annian was startled, his hands trembled, and the pill in his palm almost fell to the ground. He looked up at the door, "Small building? Why..."

He Nanlou stepped forward, lowering his head: "I had a nightmare."

Of course, He Nanlou didn't have any nightmares.

He was on the surveillance screen and saw Qiao Annian picking up a bottle of medicine from the table.

He zoomed in on the picture, it was a brand of melatonin.

There must be something wrong with Qiao Annian's sleep, otherwise he wouldn't have tried to take melatonin even though he knew the side effects of melatonin.

The reason why He Nanlou concluded that Qiao Annian was aware of the side effects of melatonin was because Qiao Annian had obvious hesitation before taking it.

Only when you know that the medicine has side effects, will you show hesitation, otherwise most people will just take the medicine as usual.

"what?"

Only then did Qiao Annian notice that it was past ten o'clock.

Children go to bed early, at this point it is really possible to fall asleep and wake up again.

Still a child is good, this sleep quality.

At this point, he had already fallen asleep, and still had time to dream.

It has to be how early you go to bed.

admired.

"Fear."

When He Nanlou said this, his face was still expressionless, he was still a little cold boy.

Xiao Lengnan had a nightmare and came to look for him in fear.

Ahhhhh!

This is too cute!

This was the first time the child had come to him because of a nightmare.

Qiao Annian's heart was unbelievably soft.

He held the child in his arms and softly coaxed him. "Hey, don't be afraid, don't be afraid."

He Nanlou seemed to have just noticed the pill in Qiao Annian's hand, "What is this?"

"Oh, this? This is melatonin, which is used to improve sleep. Brother Niannian has not been sleeping very well recently, so he wants to eat it so that he can fall asleep more smoothly. However, you have to promise me, you can't tell Mom, I don't want him to worry."

Qiao Annian didn't tell the children what kind of candy it was. One was worried that the children would believe it. They would think it was a piece of candy later on. If they took it and ate it, there would be no accidents. However, it is obviously not suitable for children to take it.

Another one, the child is too smart, if he turns around and takes a look at the bottle, he probably understands everything.

Adults often teach children not to lie, and he can certainly lead by example.

It would be too ironic for adults to teach their children not to lie, but to become liars themselves.

This is why, as long as he can tell the truth, he will not choose to fool Xiaotuanzi.

He wants to give good leadership to his children.

He Nanlou: "Is it because of grades that you can't sleep?"

Joannian: "..."

It doesn't have to be so sharp.

"Not at all. Of course I feel bad if I failed the exam, but it doesn't mean I can't sleep. It's just... hey, you are too young to tell you that you don't understand. Let's solve your sleep problem first. You have nightmares , woke up with fright, and now I still feel a little scared, so I can’t fall asleep, right?”

He Nanlou didn't blink: "Yeah."

"Little poor." Qiao Annian lovingly rubbed the little guy's soft hair, "Then I'll accompany you back to the room first, put you to sleep, and I'll leave when you fall asleep, okay?"

He Nanlou: "I want to sleep in your room."

Qiao Annian turned pale with shock: "...Baby, please let me go. I think I can basically open my eyes until dawn with your majestic sleeping position."

He Nanlou turned his head and left.

Qiao Annian quickly grabbed him: "Baby, good baby! Good baby! Okay, I was wrong, I was wrong. Sleep, sleep together, sleep together!"

The child still has to go.

Little brat, I don't know where the strength came from, it really took a little effort for him to grab him.

Qiao Annian: "I beg you to sleep with me! Is that all right?"

He Nanlou stopped in his tracks, turned his face, "Go wash up."

Joannian: "!!!"

Well, it's all about turning against customers.

"I've already washed it!!!"

He Nanlou got on the bed, patted the empty space on the bed with his little hand, "Come up."

Joannian: "..."

Qiao Annian climbed into bed, "Let's just say yes, you are not allowed to kick people at night. You are old now, I can't stand your kicks. You are not allowed to punch me. But you don't have to pretend to be asleep, stay up all night or something." .Anyway, we agreed, try your best at night, don’t kick or hit people. But you still have to fall asleep normally. I just want to let you have such a consciousness before going to bed, so that after you fall asleep, most of you won’t Roll on my side, okay?"

Qiao Annian tried this method.

It's useless when a child is young, unless the child pretends to be asleep, it should roll on his side, and roll on his side.

Since last year, as long as he reminded the children before going to bed, it really got better.

And not pretending to be asleep.

Whether it's pretending to sleep, breathing or something, he has already experienced it and can hear it.

He Nanlou: "Yes."

The two lay down together.

Joannian turned off the lights.

The room was plunged into darkness, and a hand was wrapped around Joannian's waist.

"Haha, it's so itchy, Xiaolou, what are you doing..."

Qiao Annian thought it might be retribution.

Obviously Xiaolou was more ticklish when he was a child, and would keep hiding when he was scratched. I don't know when, the ticklish person became him.

In fact, Xiaolou didn't do anything to tickle him, just hugged his waist and put his hands on his stomach, which made him itchy.

"I'm afraid I'll still have nightmares."

"Hold me so you won't have nightmares?"

"Ah."

Qiao Annian couldn't help laughing, "How dare I have the effect of calming the nerves and warding off evil spirits?"

The child didn't speak, but the hand around his belly tightened, "Hahahaha, okay, I won't laugh at you."

"However, when is this going to be hugged?"

There was a hand on his belly, it was really itchy.

Qiao Annian couldn't help but moved to the side, and the child also lay down on his side.

Just, sigh.

He Nanlou: "You said you wanted to coax me to sleep."

Joannian: "Okay, okay."

Qiao Annian patted the child on the back, "Do you think this kind of strength is okay? Are you satisfied with this service? If you are satisfied, please remember to give a five-star praise, dear."

"Joannian, you are too noisy, be quiet."

Qiao Annian: "Call me brother Niannian!