[Comprehensive] Fate holy fool

"...I see. Is that why you two were kicked out?"

In the morning, the teaching building.

Wearing a sand-colored long windbreaker, the black-haired young man with delicate features turned his head towards Satsuki and Karna who were looking at each other with a smile.

"That's right, that's the way it is."

After a brief silence, Karna raised his head to meet the young man—Osamu Dazai with a kind (?) smiling gaze, and calmly admitted the embarrassing reality he was facing.

In other words, he was kicked out of the stronghold by the Master.

And everyone except himself and Satsuki seemed to understand the reason clearly, and they agreed with one voice.

At the same time, everyone agreed that—except for Fukamachi Satsuki, there was no other person who could be Karna's companion.Certainly, absolutely, definitely.

With unanimous approval as the end, today's itinerary for this wonderful combination is finalized.

...Although, the person concerned has not reacted until now.

"Well, this time I also agree with Sakura. You are right, Lancer."

Dazai smiled at them and made up the knife, then opened his arms wide and spun around lightly against the cool wind blowing on his face.

"Remember? The mood of a young girl is as slender as a sugar snack or a chick just hatched. It must be held in the palm of your hand as a treasure. If you brutally destroy it with the 'truth', no matter what It’s too incomprehensible to say.”

Gao Yue looked confused: "But, I don't think there is any problem..."

"Stop, stop, stop. Xiaoyue can't be used as a reference in this regard, so I skip it~"

"...Is this some new type of discrimination, Dazai-sensei. I'm going to file a complaint against you to the Board of Education?"

"No, you can't do anything but complain."

Dazai smiled wryly as if troubled, shook his head, then leaned back and lazily leaned against the railing.

"Xiaoyue, you seem to be much docile than Akutagawa-kun, but in fact, you are not as good as 'not listening to people'. ——What do you think, Akutagawa-kun?"

"...It has nothing to do with me. Besides, I have never failed to listen to Dazai-san."

A cold, low voice, and at the same time suppressing a certain kind of warmth in the depths, sounded from behind Satsuki who was standing still.

"Ah, Akutagawa-senpai."

Gao Yue turned her head mechanically, "Please tell the teacher a few words. This person obviously has a hole in his head, but he always likes to push the problem on us... To be honest, I have had enough."

—By the way, Akutagawa didn't appear suddenly, but was with them from the beginning.

Because of some kind of "necessary", Satsuki and Karna can't handle it by themselves.

"I have nothing to say. It's just..."

Uncompromising about Satsuki's proposal, Akutagawa bowed his head and coughed lightly as if trying to escape reality, then raised his face slightly——

With an infinitely complex expression, he looked up at the young man standing on the roof of the building against the wind, as if he would fall like a kite with a broken thread at any time.

"Mr. Dazai, are you... come down from the roof first. Although you are not saying this for Fukamachi, I think you are making the conversation more difficult than necessary."

"Well, that's right!"

Dazai closed his palms together with a snap, and let out a cheerful smile that didn't fit the roof, "Because Satsuki and Akutagawa-kun are both annoying people, they won't let me go and let me free fall freely, so I'll commit suicide in a different way today !"

"...No, please don't kill yourself if you can, not in any way."

Gaoyue rolled her eyes numbly, "Ja and I... Lancer is very busy today, and I don't have time to go fishing by the lake or untie you from the cherry tree."

"That's it! Then let's try a gas explosion this time—"

"Akutagawa-senpai, can you please use your ability to send me to the top of the building? I want to beat him up." ← Stick reading

"Just kidding. My Rashomon is not for you to use like this..."

"Fukamachi, although he respects Osamu Dazai as much as you do, he doesn't regard Dazai as a dreg of society while respecting him like you. Based on this, it's better not to force others to vent your grievances. I want to go upstairs If it’s top, I’ll send you sooner—do you need it?” ← Sincere and caring tone

"Wow, Mr. Lancer, please go for a walk elsewhere!! Having you by Xiaoyue's side is like adding wings to a tiger, even I feel a chill, to be honest!!!"

……

10 minutes later · downstairs

"I see. Although I said this sentence just now... But, um, that's the case."

After stepping down from the rooftop and listening to Gaoyue explain the purpose of their trip, Dazai rarely restrained his usual frivolous and playful smile, and raised his brows with a look of enlightenment.

"In other words, Xiaoyue, you are now going to investigate the information about Assassin's sighting last night on the ground, analyze the scope of the opponent's activities and rules of action, and then deduce the hidden location from it? Hmm, frank, spicy, right in the heart, really quite A plan with Rin's personal style... But then, why are you with Akutagawa-kun? Rin probably doesn't want outsiders to intervene."

"..."

The moment he heard these words, Akutagawa furrowed his brows openly as if his tongue had been scalded by hot food.

"That's because they..."

"The situation is compelling."

Satsuki took over the conversation and traced her memory expressionlessly: "Actually, as soon as Lancer and I started our investigation work, we encountered a bottleneck right away—I don't know why, but all the students and teachers we brought in for questioning, In the end, most of them ran away crying."

"exactly."

Karna testified in a timely manner, "I can assure you that we did not act violently or coercively during the interrogation process. Fukamachi has carried out the demeanor and dignity of a Master, and I will do my best to provide assistance to her... Nonetheless, the outcome is truly regrettable.”

"...Ahhh, I seem to understand. Although Xiao Lin has thought carefully, she made a fatal mistake in the most critical personnel arrangement..."

Probably because he had pictured the scene of "questioning" comparable to torture in his heart, Dazai sighed, and pressed his long and slender fingers on his chest.As if feeling pity for others from the bottom of his heart, there was a gentle pity in the young man's eyes.

"To the passers-by who are unfortunately selected by you, today will be an unforgettable 'good day'. Don't let go of any dark corners, sweeping the campus like a storm that ravages people's hearts, alas, my student is practicing What a great feat of the devil! As a teacher, there is nothing happier than this! Nicejob Satsuki!!"

However, this compassion only lasted until the last sentence.

"...Tsk."

Akutagawa clicked his tongue in displeasure—although he also understood that there was really no need to envy this kind of praise.

And Satsuki turned a blind eye to all this, and continued to state lightly:

"During one of the inquiries, we ran into Akutagawa-senpai who was passing by by chance... Still don't know why, this time, instead of running away crying, the other party knelt down crying and told us in detail what he saw."

"So that's what it means, is it a threat?"

Dazai twisted the corner of his mouth, "After all, Akutagawa-kun is famous. So how can we say that everyone will act together in a friendly way? Oh, this is really an ideal situation. It would be even better if Atsushi-kun is here..."

"It's just the same goal."

There was no trace of heat in Akutagawa's voice, "The assassin who used the fog as a cover last night will be very difficult to survive to the rematch, so it is necessary to solve it here."

"In order to do this, do you have to conduct a blanket investigation of the locations where Assassin appeared... Sigh, this is a big project. If it is Mr. Ranpo, you will laugh, 'Investigation is the job of mortals' And give the answer within three seconds. But he is not in Yuehai City now, so he might not be able to help."

Edogawa ran wild.

In fact, he plays the role of the brain core of the "Armed Detective Agency". He is free and innocent, but he is a rare genius in the world.It is said that there is no problem in the world that he cannot solve. Even Dazai, who often teases others with a frivolous attitude, seems to have a different opinion of Ranpo's talent.

"—In that case, let me help you!!"

"what……?"

Satsuki was at a loss for words when she heard that, Akutagawa also slightly widened her eyes in astonishment.

"Mr. Dazai, you just said..."

"Hey, it's just helping, helping! I'm a teacher now, and I want to guide my students occasionally."

Dazai raised his voice and puffed up his cheeks like a child having a temper tantrum.

"By the way, you two, why do you have such a bad stomach expression? Am I usually so harsh on you?"

"This……"

Dazai-san, you can't say "no" even if you have no conscience.

"Of course there is."

On the other hand, the option of "conscience" has never existed in Satsuki's mind from the very beginning, "But let's not mention this point. Let me ask, what do you mean by 'help'? If it's an introduction to a close relationship If you let us know women, then there is no need. I will immediately blow your skull out and make it into a flower pot for those women. In this way, their wishes and yours will be realized at the same time. Congratulations! .”

"Hey, what kind of specific threat is this? It's scary. No, Xiaoyue, I just want to..."

"—It should be 'that'."

Suddenly, Karna, who had been following them silently and dutifully, spoke up.

And in front of his line of sight is——

"Yes, this is it."

Dazai stopped in his tracks, turned his head towards them with beaming eyebrows, took out a string of silver car keys from his pocket and shook them twice.

"Because there is a long way to go, so I will drive you for a ride."

※※※

"...Akutagawa-senpai. Have you ever seen Dazai-sensei driving?"

Gao Yue asked.

"No."

Akutagawa shook his head, "When I met Mr. Dazai, he was already a cadre of the port mafia. There should be no need to drive it himself."

"So, does he have a driver's license?"

Gao Yue asked again.

"do not know."

Akutagawa still shook his head, "But Mr. Dazai couldn't have..."

"I said, you two! The sun has risen so high, time is limited, stop whispering and get in the car—"

"...Do you want to go up?"

Satsuki asked for the third time.Her expression seemed stiffer than usual, the corners of her eyes trembled slightly, and every nerve contained indescribable tension.

"I used to ride in a sports car driven by Mrs. Irisviel von Einzbern with Mr. Fujimura. Since then, I have had a psychological shadow on cars... No, not only psychologically, Even physically, I feel overwhelming disgust and fear, as if cold sweat is gushing from my back..."

"..."

"—Since you can't believe it, then don't let him drive!!"

Before Akutagawa could reply, a rude and bright voice interrupted him first.Accompanied by the flickering of bright lights, Saber, Mordred, the Knight of the Round Table, appeared in the form of a blond girl with a petite physique and beautiful features, and stepped forward gracefully with a flick of her ponytail.

"I heard that, Master. In the past, when my father was summoned to this school, he not only drove a sports car, but also showed off his skills by driving a motorcycle...Damn it, just thinking about it is so cool! Why didn't I fail that time?" See!!"

"Don't mention 'Royal Father' lightly in front of people, Saber. The possibility of being deduced from your real name..."

"To sum up! What my father can do, as a legitimate son, I can't possibly not be able to do it! Besides, my riding skill is B like my father's. A mere car is easy to grasp!!"

Saber raised her head high and proudly said so, then turned around, and pressed the car door with a majestic posture that could not be rejected.

"Hey. What is that Zai, let me drive."

"Eh~? This is a headache. Usually, Kunikida-kun doesn't let me touch the steering wheel. I managed to get the car keys secretly."

Dazai bulged his cheeks even higher.To be honest, I don't know who is the teacher at the scene-maybe Karna is more like it.

"Tch, troublesome guy."

Saber pursed her lips impatiently, "Then let's play the game of punching, let's do it! There is no complaint in winning or losing!"

"Well……"

"No. In that case, it's almost certain that Saber will win for you."

Karna interjected calmly, "After all, you seem to have a strong 'intuition'. It was also evident in the confrontation before, but you will definitely be able to make correct judgments whenever the situation requires it."

"Wh-although you are indeed very discerning, why did you say it at this time, Lancer?!"

Karna looked puzzled: "Didn't you say 'there is no complaint in winning or losing'? If that's the case, at least fairness should be guaranteed..."

"Isn't that just talking! This is a great opportunity to surpass my father, I don't want to lose to this guy with a hippie smile and a seaweed head!!"

"Ahaha... I hope you at least remember my name."

Dazai laughed with a dry voice.

It sounded like a helpless wry smile, but for some reason, Satsuki and Akutagawa felt a chill passing behind them at the same time.

Sure enough—as expected, Dazai had more than that hidden trump card.

I saw him holding the steering wheel stubbornly with one hand, while the other hand reached into his arms. After a while of groping, he picked up a thin, colorful piece of paper with his index finger and middle finger——

"In fact, although King Arthur in his heyday did not appear in this Holy Grail War, but~! What a wonderful fate, she was summoned in a girlish and pitiful posture like a white lily in her girlhood before becoming a king! Saber... …No, Lord Mordred, King Arthur’s son-in-law, I have the precious images I took last night, why don’t I use this to exchange the right to use this car with you… What do you think?”

Mordred: "...oh hoo."

"Senior, senior, your Servant seems a bit silly." ←Sao Yue

"I know." ← Akutagawa

……

……

……

In the end, he got into Dazai's car in the end.

"...Fukamachi, are you okay. Why don't you take a deep breath first..."

Just when Karna asked with such concern, and Satsuki didn't have time to answer because her whole body was stiff——

Osamu Dazai stepped on the accelerator.

And then - Fukamachi Satsuki's normal consciousness ended.

"------"

"————————"

"———————————???!!!!!!"

Head, head, skull is going to fly.

For a moment, there was such an illusion that it was too specific.

From a physical point of view, it is probably because the lower body is moving forward rapidly due to the acceleration of the car, while the upper body remains stationary due to inertia, so it creates a strong sense of "body and head separation" in an instant.

But——Dazai's driving skills can't be summed up by physics.

Rather, it is a magical skill that makes people doubt "whether physics really exists in the world".Within the first ten seconds after the car started, the following barrage flashed in Gaoyue's mind like a revolving lantern:

"Is this person Mr. Octopus with Mach speed?" 』

"Does gravity really exist? 』

"Is Newton still alive? 』

"Take me away, Newton..."

……

Fortunately (?) this journey to Hades didn't last too long, after a gallop comparable to a missile launch, Saber clamored to change the driver.Although Dazai was reluctant, under the pleas of everyone in the back seat—except Karna—with ashen-faced, dying faces, he finally pouted his lips and changed places with Saber.

"Ride, it shouldn't be a problem to ride B. It's B after all."

Gao Yue endured the overwhelming pain in her stomach, murmured weakly as if comforting herself.

"But just in case, Akutagawa-senpai, can you please use your ability to make me a seat belt..."

"Shut up, I told you that my Rashomon is not for you...cough cough..."

As if trying to squeeze out all the air in his lungs, Akutagawa kept coughing violently while putting his hands on his knees.

"Since it is so deep, do you want to try to hold my gun?"

Karna, who was the only one with a normal face, suggested, "I don't know how to express it. In short, this should be used as a prop such as a safety bar—"

"...Don't use the treasure in such a place!"

"No, it's better to say that the Noble Phantasm must be used only in 'this kind of place'. Osamu Dazai's driving skills have already risen to the realm of martial arts. Akutagawa, you can also try to hold it, it should be stronger than a seat belt."

"I don't..."

Right now.

Hearing a loud "YA~HO", like a spunky blond girl in a western movie, Mordred started the vehicle again.

"——————"

In an instant, Gao Yue's brain, which was already on the verge of collapse, went blank again.

The only thing she can say is——

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Karna I might have to go first and take care of Sakura for me."

"Fukamachi! Calm down, look ahead, don't lose consciousness!"

Not anymore.

The brain is shaking.

Even Karna's call sounded as far away as tens of millions of light-years away.

[Riding B should be fine.After all, it is B. 】

Just now, some idiot said that.

Then again, what is "Ride B"?

EX is the highest grade, then A, then B again.It should not be the meaning of this sequence.Absolutely not.

The so-called B must be the abbreviation of "Berserker" or "Beast".

Berserker riding.Brutalist riding.ride nmb ride.

Ah, that's right, this is the state I am in right now...

"Ahem... Saber, stop, immediately! Do you want me to use Command Seals for this kind of thing...?!"

……

……

……

"........."

When the car finally squeaked and stopped by the side of the road, Satsuki was completely exhausted, and she didn't even have the strength to reach out and push the door.

No, not right.Maybe it hit a wall or a roadblock just now, and the doors on both sides were slightly deformed, and they were in a state that could not be opened normally.

"Let's go, Fukamachi. I'm here..."

Before Karna could finish his sentence, Akutagawa raised his arm and stopped him silently.

"The only thing damaged is the lock. If you do it, the car will never be repaired."

After uttering these words in a seemingly steady but actually dark and empty tone, the young man in black sighed as if accepting his fate, and slowly closed his eyes.

"—"Rashomon". "

In the end, he still used his abilities on such stupid things... God knows what he went through this day.

"Fukamachi—it's safe, Fumachi. Live."

Behind him, Karna supported the girl's limp body.

The author has something to say:

Everyone should know about Saiki Kusuo's "oh hoo" stalk (x) In short, it is the setting of "everyone will go ooh when they see a goddess". Xiaomo's goddess is of course his father!Mordred is the cutest Chef Arthur in the whole world!Although fgo will only meet you in four chapters, I hope everyone can feel her cuteness 23333 In addition, she calls Saberlily "an angel-like dad" and "my God's white dad is too cute"

Karna releases his assists steadily. In fact, he has an A in riding, but he doesn't compete with the elementary school students for the steering wheel, so the elementary school students just enjoy... laughing and living, Xiaoyue.