A guide to the first love of a spoiled dog

The life before this summer was full of bitterness and sweetness, mixed joys and sorrows, nightmares and sweet dreams, like undulating hills.But after today, everything has taken a turn for the worse. There is no good or bad, only bad and worse.They no longer have a choice and no hope. There is only one road in front of them, and they have to go whether they want to or not.

As soon as Chen Ci walked to the door of the monitoring room, he realized that Qu Zao was lying to him. For so long in the past, if Qu Zao really wanted to leave any evidence, leave any traces of love/love, he would not have waited for such an opportunity.

Qu Zao may hate Chen Ci, but he definitely does not hate his mother; even if Qu Zao hated Chen Ci, he would not hurt him in such a way.Qu Zao is always kind, he knew it early on, didn't he?

Chen Ci immediately turned around and ran back to the place where he was talking just now. Qu Zao was long gone, and only heard the wailing and miserable cries from the lounge.

He walked in and saw Shen Ru slumped on the ground with all the makeup on her face.Surrounded by her makeup artist and costume artist, as well as a few friends, they looked at him with embarrassment or contempt, as if they were looking at a monster.

Shen Ru also saw him, looked at him sadly for a while, and then asked him: "Xiao Ci, did Auntie do anything to apologize to you?"

Chen Ci was stunned in place.

"Auntie didn't do it on purpose, Auntie apologized to you, okay?" Shen Ru got up from the ground and changed into a kneeling position, "Auntie is sorry for you, but Xiaozao is still young and he is not sensible, please let him go, okay?" good?"

"Auntie, no, it's not what you think..." After Chen Ci finished speaking with difficulty, his throat was immediately blocked by the upwelling stagnation, and he tried to open his mouth to explain, but he couldn't make a sound.

Shen Ru had no choice but to guess, "Do you not like my aunt marrying into your family? Auntie is not married, so I will go to divorce your father right away. You can say, you can say that I am sorry for you, auntie will never refute, nor I won't let anyone know what I heard today." After speaking, Shen Ru fell on the ground and kowtowed, "Auntie, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, let Xiaozao go, let Xiaozao go, okay? "

The people around were like waking up from a dream, one after another stepped forward and tugged and pulled, finally pushing Shen Ru down on the seat.Shen Ru seemed to have lost her soul, the mascara was melted by tears, and the black tear stains divided the still surviving cheek into several petals, like a broken porcelain doll.

Chen Ci knelt down in front of Shen Ru, and was about to open his mouth when the door of the lounge was suddenly pushed open.The waiter who came to inform the news was startled when he saw the scene in the room, and hesitantly said: "...Ms. Shen, there is something wrong outside, your husband is injured."

Shen Ru woke up instantly, and looked at Chen Ci subconsciously, but Chen Ci was still at a loss.Shen Ru took out a wet towel, and while wiping her face, she told the people around her, "Don't talk about what happened today, if any news gets out, none of you will be able to escape."

Several ladies present had also seen the market, three or two helped Shen Ru, and the rest took her purse and cosmetics, and accompanied her out to check the situation.Passing by Chen Ci who was kneeling on the ground, Shen Ru looked sideways and said, "Don't tell your dad about this beforehand, we can settle it ourselves, okay?"

Before Chen Ci nodded, Shen Ru broke free from the arms supporting her, adjusted the cheongsam wrapped around her body, and walked out with a plain face.

It was only after going out that the banquet hall was in a mess. Standing on the edge of the stage, Shen Ru saw a team of medical staff pushing a stretcher cart over the red carpet surrounded by hundreds of roses and heading out of the hall.

She saw a group of young and middle-aged men press a laughing lunatic to the ground, and saw her son stumbling after the stretcher, knocking over flower stands and guests, but no one dared to stop him.

She also saw a piece of paper covered on the ground like heavy snow. On it were her two sons. They were brothers who were clearly close friends, but they were doing intimate things that only lovers would do.

It must all be the fault of the man who was pinned to the ground.

Wu Nanchun, she wanted to kill him more than ten years ago, why didn't she kill him then?

Chen Ci ran out of the lounge in the last step, brought Shen Ru's casual clothes in the lounge, and ran to arrange wedding planning, asking them to prepare generous gifts for each guest, and dispose of all sensitive information.

He came over, let Shen Ru lie on his back, and led her to the emergency center.Shen Ru's spirit broke down again, she kept crying on his back, her fingernails dug into his skin, scolded him viciously, said she hated him, and there was blood in her fingers.

Chen Xinji's injuries were not fatal, but he was old after all, and he recovered very slowly. He only woke up for less than half an hour every day, and fell into a deep sleep for the rest of the time.

Chen Ci and Shen Ru took turns to take care of him, and they could hire a nurse, but both of them had a guilty conscience, and they came every day as if they were atonement.

Qu Zao seemed to have disappeared completely. When Shen Ru came home, Qu Zao hid in his small room; Chen Ci called him countless times, and also secretly came to his house to look for him when Shen Ru was away. , Qu Zao hid in the quilt, did not eat or drink, and did not say a word.

Everyone is suffering, no one will tell, it is really a family, there is a tacit understanding between the family.

Summer is coming to an end, and Chen Xinji wakes up a little longer every day, about two hours.Sometimes when he wakes up, he can see Chen Ci, sometimes Shen Ru, but none of them want to mention Qu Zao.

His new son, the new son who kissed his own son, no one mentioned him.

Chen Xinji sometimes thinks, it's not bad to just sleep like this, but can we not face the reality?

Is it possible not to face reality?All people have such illusory wishes.

However, no one can achieve their wish. As long as you are still breathing and have your feet on the ground, you have to face reality.Reality presses against your neck, forcing your eyes to open, to face it.

"Dad, are you awake?" Chen Ci saw Chen Xinji's fingers move, and immediately grasped them sensitively, and asked eagerly.

Chen Xinji opened his eyes, adjusted to the strong sunlight in the afternoon, and nodded slightly.

"Is there any uncomfortable place, is there any pain?"

Chen Xinji shook his head, Chen Ci tucked in the quilt for him, soaked a cotton swab with warm water, and tapped it on his chapped lips.

"Wu Nanchun was sentenced today for the crime of intentional injury, six years without probation." Chen Ci told him, "Before you sentenced him to 6 years, he behaved well in prison, and he was released after ten years..."

Chen Xinji's voice was hoarse, and he said weakly: "If it is a first-time offender, if you admit your mistakes positively during your sentence, you will get a reduced sentence."

"Fuck..." Chen Ci swears as if venting, "At that time, he should have kicked that grandson to death, where did he admit his mistake?"

"None of us thought that he had grievances. This is an independent incident." Chen Xinji still defended the law he supported. "It is difficult to detect these psychology through behavioral or psychological assessment."

Chen Ci was silent.

"What's the matter with you and that child?" Chen Xinji was silent, feeling that there must be someone to face this problem, so he asked him, "Do you have any objection to my marriage with your Aunt Shen?"

Chen Ci shook his head and said, "Qu Zao and I are serious, he loves me very much, and I love him too."

"But you can't be together." Chen Xinji begged hoarsely, "Dad, please stop, you can't go on forever."

Chen Ci paused, then said obediently: "Okay."

Chen Xinji got an answer that satisfied him, closed his eyes, and his breathing became long immediately.

In fact, from the day Chen Ci realized his sexual orientation, he began to look forward to a similar scene.In his fantasy, he had a partner who was more loving than gold. When Chen Xinji asked him to "break up", he resolutely refused. From then on, he escaped from Chen Xinji's shackles and lived a life with only him and his lover.

But the older he got, the more he realized how unrealistic such fantasies were.He gave his lover all the stubbornness in his bones, and he was willing to gamble, disobey, and resist for love.

He didn't expect that he would compromise like this.He still lost to reality.

When he walked out of the ward, he saw Qu Zao whom he hadn't seen for a long time.

"My dad is asleep." Chen Ci heard himself say.

"Yeah." He heard Qu Zao say, "I'm here to find you, brother."

Qu Zao said that he was going to study in university in City B, Chen Ci smiled gratifiedly and wished him all the best.

Qu Zao also said that he wanted to go to his house to get things, and asked him what time was convenient.Chen Ci thought about it, and made an appointment with him at five o'clock the next evening.

"Brother, I want to eat the rice you cook." Qu Zao told him before parting.Chen Ci couldn't help being tempted, and took another look at Qu Zao.

Qu Zao was too thin, some of her hair had grown out, the roots were black, but most of it was dazzling gold.

Finally, Chen Ci agreed to him.

When Qu Zao came, she brought a bouquet of flowers.

At five o'clock in the evening, he opened the door with the key, and then hung the key chain on the porch.

This is the first foreshadowing of separation.

The house was filled with the smell of food, and the three cats were still enthusiastic, swaying their fat bodies and running to rub against his calves until he knelt down and stroked them tenderly.

Chen Ci brought out the last dish tonight from the kitchen, and greeted Qu Zao: "Dinner is ready!"

Qu Zao sat where he usually sat, and Chen Ci sat opposite him, and the two of them picked up the bowl and enjoyed the last supper together.

Chen Ci cooks all the dishes that Qu Zao likes to eat. In fact, no matter what Chen Ci cooks, Qu Zao likes to eat.

So he ate very carefully, bite by bite, trying to remember Chen Ci's craftsmanship, chewing until bitter water appeared in his mouth.He secretly wiped away his tears and swallowed a few mouthfuls of rice.

Qu Zao ate up the whole table, although he couldn't taste any of them.

After the meal, Chen Ci took out a Blu-ray disc and shook it in front of Qu Zao's eyes, "You have been arguing to watch it before, do you have time today?"

Chen Ci wanted to say that if he didn't have time, then this DVD could be used as a farewell gift, and he would watch it when Qu Zao had a chance.But before Chen Ci had time to speak, he saw Qu Zao nodded, saying that he had time.

Chen Ci pulled down the curtains, and there was only the light source from the TV in the room.

At the beginning of the film, Qu Zao leaned over to kiss him as usual.As usual, they missed the beginning of the film.

And then missed the propulsion, the turn, the climax, the epilogue...

Chen Ci lay on the sofa panting heavily, the two of them lost their clothes on the floor.

This cloud and rain was both lingering and painful, Qu Zao and Chen Ci went through the whole process almost in silence, even when they should be wanton most, they dared not make a sound.

They are afraid, afraid that they are too happy, and afraid to let the other person know how much they love him.

Afterwards, they hugged each other and stood under the shower head in the bathroom, and the warm water splashed down from their heads, washing their tears to the ground and into the sewer.

Qu Zao kissed Chen Ci over and over again, tenderly, lingeringly, roughly, affectionately, superficially, and couldn't stop.Sweet, bitter, happy, painful, he is remembering and engraving, he does not want to forget, nor does he want Chen Ci to forget.

He couldn't help it, and started to cry, Chen Ci in his arms also started to tremble, they hugged and cried loudly amidst the sound of falling water.

Always say goodbye.

Qu Zao's luggage is so much, three suitcases are full, and there is no trace left.

He dragged his suitcase to the living room, and the three unworldly cats jumped onto the suitcase one by one, raised their tails, and clumsily held him back.

Why didn't he want to stay? He turned around, hugged Chen Ci, and asked him: "Is it okay for us to stay together? It's my fault. I shouldn't think I'm a double without listening to your explanation. Can you forgive me?"

Qu Zao begged: "Let's just be together secretly, please, don't separate, I love you very much."

Chen Ci looked at him for a while, stretched out his hand to smooth his broken hair, and said patiently: "Remember to dye your hair back before school starts, and if conditions permit, build muscle."

"But I don't want to be separated from you." Qu Zao still insisted, "It's too painful, can I not separate?"

"But we don't separate, only the two of us will be happy, and everyone will suffer for us." Chen Ci smiled, "Xiaozao can't bear to do this, right?"

Qu Zao shook his head, knelt at Chen Ci's feet, hugged his leg and begged, "I can do it, but let's be selfish, okay? Let's go to a place where no one knows me, and start over, okay? "

Chen Ci caressed the top of his head, tears fell drop by drop on his neck and shoulders, so cold. "But my father is still in the hospital, and your mother's mental state is also unstable. The two of us are gone. What will they do?"

He asked: "They have spent most of their careers and efforts in this city. We are gone. How will they stay here and continue to live? Are you confident to leave them alone?"

"I have, I have!" The head resting on Chen Ci's abdomen shook vigorously, "Brother, I only want you, as long as you are with me, I don't want anything, as long as we are together. Without you I will die."

"I'm going to die..." Qu Zao buried his face in Chen Ci's stomach, broke down and cried again.

When the crying subsided, Chen Ci squatted down and looked at Qu Zao.

"Xiaozao, I'm just a passer-by to you. Your life is still long, and so is mine, but 'we' are not..." Chen Ci's eyes were red, "We have to separate, we can only go to Here it is."

Chen Ci stroked his hair, "Xiao Zao, wake up, think carefully, our love shouldn't be a sin, we can't talk about love with shackles on our backs."

Yeah, they can't, and shouldn't, be in love with chains on their backs.

Sitting on the floor, Qu Zao realized dully that in the past, he was always blaming others and evading his responsibilities.

From the beginning to the end of the love between him and Chen Ci, all the responsibilities were borne by Chen Ci, their parents, and he was just enjoying it.He got pure happiness, and he could withdraw almost without any worries, so what right did he have to run back and demand to continue?

Separation, isn't the ending already written before the beginning of this shady love between him and Chen Ci?

Through layers of tears, Qu Zao looked at Chen Ci again, it's only been a month, how did he become so thin?

Do you not eat? Is it because the food in the hospital is too bad, or is it because you are not in the mood to eat?Why not in the mood to eat?

Do you still want to travel? Go, bask in the sun, go surfing, meet new people, you always have to go out...

Qu Zao finally woke up.He stood up again, chased away the cat lying on the suitcase, and said goodbye to Chen Ci seriously.

"I probably won't come back during the winter vacation, next summer... maybe not necessarily." Qu Zao thought for a while, "Remember to ask my mother to buy less clothes, she always nags you, if you praise her for being beautiful, she will transfer Attention."

"You have to eat well, don't be so nice to everyone, and you can lose your temper occasionally." Qu Zao said, "The next internal deworming for cats will be on September 9, and the external deworming will be once a month..."

Chen Ci nodded, took out a shoe box from the cabinet in the entrance, and handed it to Qu Zao.

"This is the leather shoe my dad made for you at the beginning. It's your size. It should fit pretty well." Chen Ci said, "Don't feel wronged to wear inappropriate shoes in the future."

"Then don't go hungry." Qu Zao finally told him.

Chen Ci nodded, staring at the floor.

"Brother, can I have a parting hug?" Qu Zao opened his arms and begged earnestly, "Can I?"

Chen Ci took half a step forward, still shook his head, and stretched out a hand, "I wish you happiness."

Qu Zao smiled lightly, held it without hesitation, and gave the same instructions, "I wish you happiness."

Will you be happy?

After a long, long time, Quzao was not happy.

He entered university, attended and dismissed classes, received love letters, and did homework... He never felt happy for a second.

His weight dropped sharply, and his body became weaker and weaker. Every day when he opened his eyes, he missed Chen Ci, and when he closed his eyes, it was still Chen Ci.He had countless dreams about Chen Ci, but he couldn't tell whether it was a good dream or a nightmare.

But when he woke up and opened his eyes, he found that Chen Ci was not beside him.Only then did he realize that perhaps he was living in nightmares every day.

Because he will never have Chen Ci again in his life.

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The author has something to say:

I failed every day, but I wrote quite a lot today, right?

Today's content is really a bit sadsad...