fall in love with a mentor

In the next two days, the two of them barely left the hotel, and there seemed to be endless conversation between the two of them. Looking back at the life of the past three years, every scene and every sentence has a different meaning.

"When I saw you for the first time, I fell in love with you. This is the so-called love at first sight, haha." Chen Han felt the kisses on his back from Junyi's soft lips, and said softly Recalling, "At that time, you were clean and beautiful, with a bright smile, and appeared in front of me like a prince in a dream. But I was just an ordinary country boy, wearing shabby clothes, with a feeling of inferiority, I could only Watching you silently in the corner. Hehe, occasionally you come to tease me with other classmates, but I feel very happy, I can be looked at by you more, and you can pay more attention to me, I feel that is happiness. "

"Isn't it? You knew you were gay at that time?" Jun Yi wondered.

"Well, I feel it ignorantly." Chen Han said, "So I started high school life with such a mood, and I actually feel very happy. You must not have thought that there is always a pair of eyes watching you behind you, right? "

"However, I think I should pay more attention to you, because I sit behind you." As if to prove that although he didn't know that he was gay, he still loved him all the time, Jun Yi said in a calculating tone .

"Hehe, yes! Junyi has always been very kind to me!" Chen Han turned around with a smile, licked Junyi's Adam's apple lightly, "Do you still remember that winter you gave me a down jacket? It feels very warm every time I put it on.”

"Oh, don't want it here, it's so itchy!" The fresh stimulation made him a little overwhelmed and turned his head away, "Hey, that torn down jacket, I should have bought you a good one if I knew it. " Jun Yi said very annoyed.

"That's impossible, how can I rely on you for everything. Well, I will pay you back the money I borrowed from you before. When I settle down in a few days, I will find a work-study job..."

"Are you finished?" Jun Yi suddenly turned cold and said, "You've been nagging about a few dollars for more than a year, don't you think it's bothering you?"

Chen Han looked at him, a look of pain flashed in his eyes, and said softly, "Junyi, the reason why I accept all your gifts is just to hope to be with you more, but I also have self-esteem, how can I... ..."

Junyi said angrily, "Why not? Aren't we lovers? Isn't it right to help each other? Do you need to make it clear with me?"

Looking at Junyi's angry expression, he knew that Junyi, as the one who gave the gift, couldn't understand his feelings, but he was very clear about Junyi's good intentions for him. As an apology, he printed a gentle smile on Junyi's lips. Kiss, and said softly, "I'm sorry, I won't mention these things again in the future, but I really want to thank you very much."

"Thank me for what?" Junyi, who had never experienced hardships in life, could not understand Chen Han's feelings at all at that time. He was so bored with the words of thanks he had been talking about all day long. , What is it compared with his love!He didn't want Chen Han to remember his kindness to him because of those things, so he put his arms on his arms and lay down on the pillow in displeasure, while Chen Han's words in his ears didn't stop.

"Well, without Junyi, I wouldn't be where I am today. I promised my father to go back to my hometown when I was in the third year of high school, but sitting on the train, I couldn't say goodbye to you properly, thinking that I would never see you again, I can’t bear it no matter what. Although I don’t dare to think about the future, I must at least try to stay with you for one more year. So soon after I went back, I made an agreement with my parents and came back here again. Originally, I had no interest in studying. What a desire, reading is just a hobby, but seeing you earnestly helping me with tutoring, I hope I can get closer to you, and I hope I can get closer to you. Such an excellent you is something I can’t do in my whole life. I can achieve it, but I will try my best to get closer to you. This is something I can do. I will work tirelessly for this after that. So I really want to thank you very much for being admitted to such a university. !"

"Although I think it's the result of your own hard work, but you said that you worked hard for me, and I really appreciate it." Jun Yi laughed.

"Actually, before you said you love me, I have been very guilty? I once wondered if this is the end of my friendship with you."

"Hey, then why?" Junyi turned his head and looked at him in surprise.

"Because I know very well that my feelings for you have surpassed friendship, and if you are just pure friendship to me, I have taken advantage of this with ulterior motives. Staying by your side makes me feel despicable, but very Miss you, miss you very much." Chen Han's voice gradually became inaudible, and Junyi has always felt that he is the one who is suffering, because Chen Han seems to be very calm about this relationship, but unexpectedly, Chen Han is so painful.

"It's strange to think of me. I'm still so calm? If I don't come to you, do you plan to bury this relationship in your heart for the rest of your life?" Jun Yi stroked Chen Han with some pity. forehead, brushing his hair.

"I have such a plan! I just don't know if I can survive it."

"Why are you suppressing yourself so much?"

"Junyi, first of all, I don't know what kind of feelings you have for me. Secondly, I don't want to hold you back! Your future is undeniably brilliant. After graduating from university, you will go abroad, right? Maybe after you go abroad Will you stay abroad? But my plan is real. After graduation, I will find a job, earn money quickly, and share the burden of my parents. At that time, my younger siblings will also be at the age of college! So we must not Not facing the state of separation between the two places, and it may be a few years, ten years of separation, or a lifetime." Chen Han talked eloquently, he has considered these things countless times, no matter how he looks at it, handsome There is no benefit for Yi to be with him, and he will only become a stumbling block on his way forward, and that is not what he wants to see.

Junyi stared at him blankly, but with a flexible mind, he had never thought about the future so carefully, because it had been smooth sailing all along, so he had always held the boat to the bridge with a natural and straight mind.University, going abroad, is indeed the path that parents expect them to take, but this does not mean that their prospects are so bleak, "I said, why are you full of gray thoughts in your mind, who can tell clearly about the future, You have already considered everything in your life, so why are we still alive?"

Chen Han said with a smile, "Hehe. I'm planning for the worst and trying my best!"

"I love to hear that. As long as we really want to be together, there will always be a way."

Chen Han knows that Junyi who has never experienced setbacks cannot appreciate the cruelty of real life, so he maintains such an optimistic attitude, but it is this vigorous spirit that is his loveliness. "However, Jun Yi, have you ever thought that same-sex love is not accepted by society, if you accept me, how many enemies you will face, your parents, your friends, you who are so popular, may be a Instantly become despised by everyone! Can you bear such a change?"

Junyi was silent, and this was something he never considered. He has a pair of enlightened and considerate parents. In the past ten years, there has been almost no quarrel between him and his parents. It's very clear, so even during the rebellious period, my parents didn't worry about it.But for homosexuality, they have clearly expressed their opposition, thinking that it is simply incest.He really didn't think it through. Does he have to choose between his parents and Chen Han?That was really painful.

"Junyi, so if you can't be with me, I won't care. I'm very happy that you can love me. After all, we have too many problems to face..."

"But, John, since I like men, if I don't plan to die alone, then my future partner must be a man, and it will be someone else, isn't it? So why should I let go? Our There is nothing wrong with love, even if they can't forgive us, I won't let go. I promise you." Junyi found that he was really not good at analyzing assumptions, so with enthusiasm, he said such words, and it was also true. I didn't consider at all that I might not be able to fulfill such a promise one day.

"No, Junyi, I don't need any promise." Chen Han said softly.We are all too young, we can't even grasp our own future, what can we promise?Even if you really promise each other now, it might become a shackle in your life when the time comes. "Junyi, I know now that you love me, love me like I love you, I will cherish every day when you love me, but please love me as much as you can, one day in the future, if you feel I need to fly high, please tell me, I will not restrain your flying wings. If one day you feel that your parents and society's views are more important to you, tell me, I will not let you embarrass of."

"Don't look at me with such an enlightened look! Or do you mean you don't trust my love?" Jun Yi said angrily.

"how come?"

"Then let me tell you, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Without you by my side, life is extremely boring, and any future is meaningless to me. If one day I really want to be with you in my future If I had to choose between them, I would choose you too."

"If you do that, I will feel guilty for the rest of my life.

"If I don't do that, I will feel guilty for the rest of my life, so do you want me to feel guilty or you want to feel guilty?"

"Hehe! I'm still guilty."

The author has something to say:

☆, asking for warmth