The heart of the pretender is sincere

First letter

dear dad:

Today is the first time to write to you, because I wrote to another boy today, I think you are such a jealous person, if you don’t write to you, you will probably be sulking for a long time.

I did a very stupid thing today. After going through a period of great changes, I suddenly feel that living in this world is really meaningless. The road ahead is long and only I am groping in the dark. I can’t see the light and I can’t find it. Lu, I'm so tired, I don't want to go any further, and I miss you and mom, I want to see you, so I took a knife and scratched my hand.But I'm so stupid. Sister Ming will find out if I hide in the room and do bad things. Even if her hand is cut, sister Ming will still hold the knife and refuse to let go. Little Axiang is even more cute, and the whole person is stupid Leng was there and didn't know what to do. I took a towel to bandage Ming's sister, and then drove the two of them to the hospital.

The doctor who sewed me in the hospital looked about the same age as my grandfather. After he knew that I was allergic to anesthesia, he just sighed and said that it is better to die than to live.But it’s really tiring to live alone these years. These days, I think of you every day, mother, grandpa, grandma, grandpa, grandma, but you are all so stingy, no one has ever entered my dream to talk to me, I I even wonder if I have to find another piece of rhino horn incense to try before I can see you again.

Raw rhinoceros dare not burn it, because it has a strange fragrance when it burns, and if it sticks to the pocket, people can communicate with ghosts.Dad, do you still remember this article? Once you read it to my mother and me like a ghost story, scaring us so much that we couldn’t sleep at night, but my mother really went to find this rhinoceros horn incense in order to see you again, but she Before I could ignite it, I was knocked down by my grandfather. In my memory, my mother had never cried, but that day my mother cried so hard, her voice seemed hoarse, as if there was no more hope.

In fact, Dad, let me tell you quietly, this rhino horn incense mother did not light it, but I lit it, the smell is really not good at all, the key is that it has no effect, no matter how much I call your name, you will not appear.Grandpa smelled the rhino horn incense on my body and fined me to copy [-] articles. In those two months, I did nothing and stayed in grandpa's ward to write big characters. But grandpa actually burned the rhino horn incense too. Well, otherwise how could he smell me.So Dad, look, how important it is to break the feudal superstition, our family is all planted in a strange novel.

This letter was written in Sister Ming’s room. At this time, she was sitting on the bed and wearing glasses to read documents related to her property. I knew she was afraid that I would do stupid things again, so she slept with me and watched me, Sister Ming. Unlike her mother, her mother is a gentle and weak girl. Sister Ming is a strong and self-reliant strong woman. She sent all three younger brothers to live abroad, and she is the only one who guards these family businesses in China. Today she I received letters from three younger brothers in France, each of whom wrote about her missing. Sister Ming asked me to read the letters for her, and then I read "Discovering the Sun by the Rhine" written by the boy named Mingcheng. One flower, although extremely delicate, is not afraid of the wind and rain, actively grows and strives towards the sun, and now picks the flowers to make bookmarks, although it may be difficult to destroy the flowers, but I am very happy to have the sunshine for a long time. I am giving it to my elder sister. I hope the sun will be with you "Always Companion", and the little bookmark made of sunflowers that he gave to Sister Ming.

I was thinking that the light in my life used to come from my family. After I lost my family, my life lost its brilliance. Sister Ming gave me the bookmark of the sun flower, and I want to know this boy named Mingcheng even more. , I wanted to ask where his light came from, and if he could lend me some, so I wrote him a letter, and I folded a small butterfly and gave it to him, hoping to get his reply.

Dad, have you seen your mother? It has been half a year. Have you found each other? I still miss you very much and want to be with you, but sister Ming’s injury is not healed. If I go to you Will she blame herself for not being optimistic about me, and I still want to wait for Mingcheng's reply, but I'm afraid I won't be able to hold on for so long, I'm very conflicted and don't know what to do, Dad, can you go to the dream Come and tell me.

Lingxi, January 1938, 1.

***

Second letter

dear dad:

This is the second letter I wrote to you. I'm really sorry. It's because I wrote to Mingcheng that I remembered to write another letter to you. Please don't be jealous. My favorite is always you.

I've been a little busy recently, so busy that I don't have time to miss you and my mother. Some time ago, my sister Ming was afraid that I would do something stupid again, and she dragged me to translate documents for her every day. There were a lot of English, Japanese, and French documents. , although I feel that being able to do something for Sister Ming is not free, but I can also see that many documents do not need to be translated at all. The purpose of her asking me to translate is just to hope that I have something to do. .It can be seen that I am still too useless. Even if I have studied for eighteen years, I will only pass the threshold of illiteracy. In fact, I am still the most useless person, and I will only add to everyone's burden.

I know that my state is wrong, so I try hard to find something I want to do that can benefit other people to distract my attention. I remember that I am still waiting for Mingcheng's reply. It would take a month to send a letter to France, and another month to wait for his reply. The waiting made me more and more restless, so I decided to consult about handling overseas phone calls.

Making this decision is very difficult, because I know that there are no overseas telephones for civilian use at this time. If this thing cannot be done, I may collapse, but I don't know what I should do or what else I can do!I went to the communication company and the French embassy many times to prepare all kinds of materials to be stamped by various governments. Today I finally finished all the procedures and then packaged and sent all the necessary materials to France. After they receive the materials in France, follow the steps I wrote to complete the business, and then send the receipt back to China.

I finally accomplished one thing. I hid in the quilt and cried for a long time. After such a long time, I finally found a little sense of success and joy.Dad, if you are still here, you will definitely dislike me now. When did Li Lingxi, who used to be as bright as the sky, become a crybaby, but this is probably because I have lived alone for a long time in these years. This is the most effective way to vent emotions that I have found out. I want to cry when I am happy or unhappy. After crying, I will feel much better.

After all the things are done, the busy life will be over, and I will return to the days of doing nothing in the Ming mansion to do rice worms. Fortunately, the first letter I sent to Mingcheng should soon receive his reply. , I don’t know what he will write to me, but I am a little worried that the higher I expect him, the greater my disappointment will be. Maybe Mingcheng is not as sunny as I thought in my heart, but I am now You can't do anything but wait, Mingcheng, you must work hard and don't let me down.

It is 35:[-] in the morning, I sneaked to the kitchen to get ice cubes to put on my eyes, because I cried for too long and my eyes were swollen into walnuts, Dad, I wrote to you last time, I hope you can come to my dream Li, but you didn't come at all, so I still hope you can come today, come and talk to me in your dreams, even if you don't talk, let me see you.

I am waiting for you in my dream...

Ling Xi, March 1938, 3

The author has something to say:

1. Don't dare to burn a raw rhinoceros. It has a strange fragrance when it burns. If it sticks to your pocket, you can communicate with ghosts.It comes from "Yiyuan" during the Southern and Northern Dynasties.

2. All the letters will be written in the form of fanfare.